Chapter 1: IWantYourMilk
Jaune walked through the halls of Beacon, intent upon slumping down into his bed to catch some shut-eye. Lately, lessons have become quite the draining affair alongside other missions that team JNPR had been preoccupied with. However, what he could agree did increase the level of exhaustion was the new Digi-cubox game console Ren recently received from his father as a gift.
It was a pretty impressive system that sprung up a holographic image instead of an actual screen. Not only did it save space, it was also easy to transport since the games themselves were loaded into small data-chips that could be stored with the device itself. Additionally, it was capable of having 4 different players on at once, allowing multiplayer gameplay easily.
The minute it had arrived, Nora had pleaded with him to have a few rounds at some of the many FPS, RPG and puzzle genre games that came with it. It was only a matter of time before team RWBY had found out and would sometimes hang out in their room playing till the wee hours of the night. Although Jaune initially thought it was fun, he now realized how bad it was for them to have stayed up past midnight burning their eyeballs out in front of the console.
Jaune now rounded the corridor leading to his team's room, stopping the minute he saw the door slightly ajar. That's weird. Jaune thought to himself. As far as he knew, Nora and Ren were still in the cafeteria and Pyrrha was doing some maintenance on her weapons in the armoury. Who could be in his room now? Frowning, he crept up to the door, peeking inside to see the presence that now occupied his team's living space.
"Yang?" He said in surprise the minute he saw the blonde hair. He opened the door now to look at Sun, Weiss and Yang huddled around the Digi-cubox, scrolling through a grey coloured screen that appeared to be the window for Blake's very own customised profile.
"Hey Jaune!" Yang replied but still kept her eyes glued to the holographic screen. "Sorry, but could you close the door?"
Jaune wasn't sure how to reply, so he just stared in utter confusion. "Huh?"
"Close the door." Yang smirked as she looked right at him. Something about Yang's eyes frightened Jaune, as he immediately went over and shut the door behind him. Since he was in, the others wouldn't have been so mystified if the door was slightly open.
"Okay…" Jaune cleared his throat as he once more looked at the situation before him. "Why all the cloak and dagger?" Weiss cleared her throat to answer. As she did, Jaune could swear he spotted a nervous look on her face.
"You see, Blake is doing a little bit of revision in the library right now. Sun and Yang, mostly Yang, wanted to do something to help her lighten up."
Jaune stared for an instant. "You mean screw with her?"
Now Weiss gulped as she continued. "I… offered the suggestion to change Blake's Digi-cubox profile name, which is currently BlaKatn1nj4, alluding to 'Black Cat Ninja', to LikMyFur. And now Yang is doing it…"
Jaune's eyes widened in both shock and unbelief that they were now trying to mess around with the usually mellow Blake, the fact that they were purposefully doing something that was incredibly close to a combination of perverseness and Faunus racism (perhaps it was?) and the fact that the main mastermind of this all was Weiss Schnee.
"Seriously?" Jaune blinked. "You thought of this?"
"I'm regretting it now obviously!" Weiss snapped. "She's so going to kill us when she finds out…"
"ShadowSphynx231?" Yang gawked. "Who the hell comes up with these automatic names? Anyhow, we have to ensure that if anything, we save Blake's current name so she can change it back later. Sun, could you get on that?"
"Okay…" Sun nodded. Based on his reaction, a part of him felt guilty while another part was obviously wanting to see Blake's reaction. Jaune shuddered at the thought of Blake's face the minute she saw. Granted, Blake was alright with a lot of things. She was okay with pranks, she was okay at having to put up with the insanity that wafted over her team like a noxious cloud and she was fine with being messed around with a laser pointer, but this? He was sure Blake was still sensitive about her Faunus heritage, and though she had been the target of Yang's many jokes that took advantage of said heritage, he was sure that this one act could have her thirsting for blood.
"The kind of retribution for this..." Yang chuckled. "I don't think I can know…"
"I had to open my stupid mouth." Weiss huffed as Sun went about to create a separate account as a safeguard to Blake's gamer profile. Yang now re-typed the chosen name differently as 'L1kmy4ur'. Again, the system rejected the change.
"Dammit!" Yang cursed as she wondered why such a name was shut down.
"Maybe they can see through it?" Sun noted. "Since it says something close to 'Lick'."
As Weiss scrolled through the auto-generated names, her eyes caught one particular one. "Oh goodness, LineWhacker854?" This caused Yang to burst out laughing, taking five minutes for her to calm down.
"Maybe we should all just make new accounts and use those names." Sun said from his spot. "I want to be LineWhacker854. Or maybe Dusseeker4009."
"Oh!" Yang shot up as if she had a revelation. She now typed in a new name that she hoped could be used. Jaune watched as the name formed itself on the screen from Yang's head. He had to stop himself from laughing. The current name read 'Ninj4OfLuv'. Yang immediately hit the accept button. Unfortunately, once more the name was denied.
"Why?" Yang scowled as her so-called 'masterpiece' was rejected.
"Maybe it was taken?" Sun frowned. "But then it should have said…"
Jaune merely kept silent in the whole affair, sleep now a distant thing in the corner of his mind. For reasons he himself couldn't fathom, he too wanted to see how this went. Minutes passed before Yang finally muttered to herself. "What is it… IWantYourMilk?"
"What?" Weiss blinked. "Like cats and milk?"
"That sounds rather dangerous…" Jaune gulped. However, even with his worries, Yang was already writing the name in and after which, hit the accept button. The screen went black for a minute before the following came up:
ATTENTION, YOU ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO IWantYourMilk.
PROCEED?
A dead silence filled the room before everyone gasped.
"Oh my God…" Yang said with her jaws open.
"Don't do it!" Weiss said as her arms cupped her mouth. "Seriously stop now…"
"Do it!" Sun said.
"Moment of truth, moment of truth." Yang commented as she mulled over her decision on the controller.
"Just stop please! Imagine Blake's reaction!" Weiss pleaded. Jaune however already could.
"Look." Sun said as he zipped around. "This is it, look, I have Blake's current name here, it says it's taken. You just click proceed, and then I grab BlaKatn1nj4. And then, later we can change this, and you can grab BlaKatn1nj4 back on her account."
"Wait, wait, wait. Can we think about this?" Weiss said. "I mean, it is quite mean to do this to her isn't it?"
"Well, there's no harm…" Yang said. "I mean, it's for memories right? After all, we can quickly grab it back when we need to."
"I totally wouldn't do it…" Weiss answered nervously.
"I would do it." Sun nodded mischievously. "I would."
"Okay then." Yang nodded. "If you want to hit the button, you can go ahead." Sun moved in to press the button. Just as his finger was close enough, he withdrew completely.
"I can't!" He cried as Yang doubled over in laughter. "I nearly died doing it!" Jaune wondered if Sun was playing around or if he was actually seriously afraid of the retribution Blake would bring down on him the minute she figured out he was in on it.
"That is a sign Sun." Weiss said as she folded her arms.
Jaune merely stood on the sidelines, knowing that one way or another, he was going to regret this.
Then Sun spoke. "Wait, why not go up to her and have her push the button?" This sent Yang into hysterics. Weiss cupped her mouth as her face went pale.
"But don't you think she'll be suspicious?" Jaune frowned, now getting into their machinations. "I mean, that is the controller she normally uses…"
"Yeah…" Yang nodded. "It is…" She immediately got up and left the room.
Blake merely sat in the library reading through a few books. With studying for the day finished, she figured it'd be a good idea to get through some of the new novels that she had just purchased from the book store. With everything they had been through lately, she deserved a break.
Across from her on the same table, Coco and Velvet from team CFVY sat, preoccupied with some assignments. Blake wondered how she would strike a conversation with her senior. "So Velvet…" She started, gaining the rabbit Faunus's attention. "Exactly how did you cope with your, uh, Faunus difficulties?"
Velvet blinked for a bit before realisation dawned. "Oh. Well, Yatsuhashi looked out for me quite a lot. I suppose it's because he looks intimidating, but once I got to know him well enough, he turned out to be a very nice guy. And Coco? Need I say more?" At this, Coco smiled, which gave off her menacing air with her eyes behind those shades
Blake chuckled at the thought of team CFVY's kick-ass leader. With that huge minigun, who would want to mess with them? Then, her eyes caught Velvet's expression, one that wore a huge frown on her face. "Um…" The rabbit Faunus started. "Blake…?"
Blake frowned as she studied her reaction, only to realize Velvet's attention was focussed on something behind her. Blake turned to see the noticeable figure of Yang Xiao Long now running up to her through the library with Weiss closely behind and, strangely enough, with her Digi-cubox controller.
"Yang?" Blake frowned. "What are you doing here?"
"I need you to hit the A button on your controller." Yang replied. Blake studied her for a second, knowing something very fishy was going on.
"Why?" Blake answered with total suspicion lacing her voice.
"Just do it." Yang snickered. For some reason, Weiss had decided to hang at the entrance to the library. Blake was deciding whether or not something awful was about to happen.
"Do it…" Yang said. At this moment, everyone was pretty much absorbed into the exchange going on between Yang and Blake.
"Don't Blake." Velvet replied, a frightened look on her face. "Hit the B button instead."
For five whole minutes, what transpired at that lone table was Yang egging Blake on, Velvet discouraging her, Weiss cupping her mouth at the library entrance and everyone else just watching. Coco then decided to make her move, reaching over and hitting the A button before anyone could stop her.
"Oooh!" Yang gasped as Blake and Velvet stared. "Coco did it! It wasn't me!"
"It was Coco!" Weiss squealed as she ran out of the library.
Blake and Velvet now looked at Coco with a questioning look. "What?" She said.
Weiss and Yang now ran back to the room, where Jaune and Sun were now watching the screen, that now said:
TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO IWantYourMilk, A PAYMENT OF 5 LIEN IS NECESSARY.
CONFIRM?
"Okay, it got through, but now we need to pay." Sun said. Jaune was breathing hard behind him, knowing that there was no way he was going to change their minds.
"I should turn it off now." Weiss said in a slightly panicked tone. "I should just save it now… But I can't…"
"Just let it all turn out on its own huh?" Yang commented as she sat back down in front of the screen, proceeding to do the payment.
"At any rate, the least you can do is pay for it." Sun said to the blonde, who nodded in the spirit of being nice. As she was typing in her bank account information, Pyrrha, Nora and Ren walked in, looking at the holographic screen.
"Shut it. You did not see this." Sun said the minute they saw what was transpiring. Pyrrha, Nora and Ren held their collective breaths as they read every word. Pyrrha's response was to drop her jaw in absolute shock. Nora and Ren stayed silent, but everyone knew they were contemplating how foolish and awful this idea was.
"Don't do it…" Weiss muttered as Yang finished with the data and pressed A to confirm. Slowly, the screen blacked out to be replaced with a loading symbol. After five seconds, a new screen popped up saying:
DONE. YOUR NAME IS NOW IWantYourMilk.
Immediately, everybody burst into hysterics, Yang's the loudest of all. Sun immediately went to his screen, putting in the last few steps to safeguard Blake's name.
"Oh God…" Pyrrha gasped, still unable to believe it. Even if she knew this sounded quite discriminatory, she couldn't help but admit the name was funny. Sun finally put in the finishing touches, the screen approving his taking of Blake's name.
"Everyone! I'm Blake!" Sun exclaimed as everyone collapsed into laughter once again.
"Everyone should put a password on their name right now!" Weiss exclaimed to all present. "One that only you will know!"
"So, exactly how will we tell her?" Jaune asked. "How will we let her know?"
"She'll figure it out." Ren answered.
"I'm pretty sure she'll figure it out right now!" Sun agreed.
"Pretty sure." Ren nodded once more. Nora had now gone over to the console, activating her account and looking through the recent messages.
"I like this new message in my activity feed." Nora said with her eyes glued to the holo-screen.
"What is it?" Jaune asked.
"BlaKatn1nj4 is now IWantYourMilk." Nora answered before laughing again. Everyone immediately exploded into uncontrolled laughter again.
"Blake…" Weiss said to herself. "I'm sorry I opened my mouth, I am partially responsible." Just as she ended her apology, she added: "But, I didn't push the button."
"Just so we're clear…" Ren spoke at last. "We have nothing to do with this."
"Um, guys?" A small voice came at the door. Everyone turned to see Ruby now hovering outside. "What's going on?" She said. "Why are you all here?"
"Look at Blake's profile screen." Nora giggled. Ruby frowned and went over to check, reading every single word.
"Oh no…" Ruby chuckled in half amusement and half disbelief, causing the whole room to explode into laughter again.
"To be fair, we gave her the controller and then Coco hit the button." Weiss said.
Ruby blinked. "Oh no… Did we save it?"
"Sun has it." Yang nodded. "I don't know about you all, but I'm safe."
An hour later, as they sat with each other next to the cafeteria, a sudden increase in tension caused everyone in the room to go quiet. Even more intimidating was that the tension was completely directed to the bunch of teens at the window table, which were of course, three members of team RWBY, team JNPR and Sun. Blake now came up and sat down with the small group, her amber eyes staring at the whole lot.
"Hi Blake." Yang greeted.
"Hi." Blake nodded in response. "You guys are dead by the way."
"How was studying?" Yang asked.
"Oh don't worry. I know." Blake answered. The tension immediately sky-rocketed to dangerous levels. "You guys look away or even leave here for an instant, you're dead…"
Although this was definitely a threat, it only had the effect of making everyone else, except Ren, laugh.
"I wasn't there Blake." Ren said.
"To be fair," Yang spoke up. "It was Jaune."
"WHAT?" Jaune cried out.
"Don't worry." Blake answered, venom dripping into her voice and now spilling out of every pore in her body. "He's in there too…"
"HEY!" Jaune cried out in defense. "I didn't do anything! I watched it!"
"I don't care…" Blake growled. If it wasn't any clearer, Blake was absolutely livid. Everyone in the entire cafeteria could now feel the tension growing, murderous intent overflowing from the raven-haired girl.
"To be fair it was Weiss and Jaune." Yang said as she folded her arms.
"No it wasn't." Weiss denied vehemently.
"You can change it back!" Yang said.
"No I can't." Blake scowled.
"Have you tried?" Yang asked again.
"Yes." Blake replied, more venom dripping out of her. "Well, either you guys jacked it or someone else got it."
Silence covered the entire cafeteria save for the teens sat around the source of the malice. People were now eating their dinners as hurriedly as possible. Even team CRDL could feel the change in atmosphere, quickly leaving while giving Blake panicked looks in the process.
"She's so mad…" Ruby gulped. "She's so angry…"
"To be fair, Weiss wanted to change it to LikMyFur, but we couldn't." Sun said matter-of-factly. This was answered by furious head shakes from Weiss.
Once more, the chuckling continued. Blake remained stoic as usual, her feline looking eyes glowed with a powerful killing intent.
"The scary thing is, Blake didn't come to see us for an hour…" Jaune gulped. That one sentence once more caused everyone to burst into laughter.
"Probably since she was digging our graves…" Sun said, obviously nervous.
"No. I came over immediately after finishing." Blake answered, causing Sun to sigh with relief. "The kind of hell I'm intending to deliver…" She continued, making everyone freeze in their thoughts and motions. "Well, let's just say, you don't even know what it is…"
Blake now glared at everyone at the table, the first being Jaune. "Guys…" Jaune gulped. "She's looking at me. I ONLY SAW IT!"
"I am fine with cat-based pranks or even tuna bait but this…" Blake didn't get to finish, partially due to the overwhelming anger within her which would now attract hordes of Grimm and partially due to the series of chuckles and guffaws that once more sounded at the table.
"Blake, I swear I tried to stop them." Pyrrha said through small bits of laughter.
"Thanks." Blake nodded, completely believing Pyrrha but never at one moment dispelling her icy gaze.
"My heart hurts…" Jaune murmured.
"That's fear Jaune." Ren explained
"Okay, okay…" Yang nodded, calming everyone down. "Before Blake kills us, should we give it back?" Everyone unanimously agreed, the tension just being too much.
"We saved it." Yang said. "Sun created a whole new account as a safeguard for your name."
"Good." Blake nodded. "I had a feeling that was what happened."
Relief swept through everyone as they realized Blake's icy demeanour had been reined in. Jaune hadn't realized till now that he was actually sweating.
"Seriously though, it was Weiss's idea." Yang said. At this, Sun burst out laughing.
Blake however, remained unfazed. "You know why I know it isn't?"
"IT WAS!" Yang yelled, pointing at Weiss who knew that now, she couldn't hide. "Here's what I said!" Yang continued to explain. "I said: 'Should we screw with Blake while she's studying?' And Weiss went: 'Change her gamer name.'"
Blake now looked at the heiress, complete disbelief washing over her face.
"I SAID TO STOP!" Weiss held her arms up in defence.
"To be fair, Weiss really tried to back pedal so hard. We were all: 'YEAH! YEAH!' And she was: 'Noooo…'" Sun replied.
Blake absorbed this new information, at a complete loss how to react. "You know, the reason I thought you wouldn't was because you had so much to lose…" Jaune agreed. From Weiss's story, he had heard how they had begun a new friendship after finding out about Blake's Faunus secret, and since then, the two were definitely closer than when they first enrolled. Perhaps this was why Weiss was doing it? Because maybe Weiss believed in Blake's trust in her? Jaune couldn't tell. He was overwhelmed by the powerful force of an angry Blake.
"Okay." Yang clapped her hands. "Let's change it back."
"We seriously didn't think we could do it." Sun nodded. "But it was a good Five Lien well spent."
"Soon it's going to be Ten Lien well spent." Blake said, holding up her scroll. "I have the receipt."
Laughter exploded out of everyone again.
Author's Note:
The first of my shenanigans. This'll be a project I'm attempting at writing everyday lifestyle activities that our RWBY crew may or may not get into. Of course, this will be slightly based on the shenanigans of Rooster Teeth or just thought up by me on the fly.
Do leave me your comments on what you think should be improved.
I am writing this since I believe it will be what the late Monty Oum would want all fanfic writers to do, which is to persevere in doing what we like, even if it is just a hobby.
Jdbl00d