[You, Me and Stewie]
*scene cuts to the Griffin's house*
(Brian is sitting on the Lois and Peter's bed)
T.V. Announcer: We now return to Mob Story.
*Cuts to a movie scene*
We now return to the Discovery channel special: Italians
Camera Man: The Italian is a loud creature which has thick hair and usually enjoys sauce with all of his food.
(An Italian guy enters a restaurant. And a fatter Italian guy stands up)
Italian guy: Hey, hey, oh!
Italian guy #2: Hey pizzan! Hey, oh!
(They start kissing each other on cheek rapidly)
Camera Man: This is how the Italian man communicates.
*cuts back to Brian on the couch*
(Stewie walks up to him)
Stewie: Hey, whatcha doing buddy?
Brian: Nothing much, just waiting for my date to arrive.
Stewie: You douche, you made her come here?
Brian: Listen Stewie, I don't want you meeting her. I don't want a repeat of the last time I brought a girl over the house.
*scene cuts to Brian, Stewie and an attractive looking girl sitting on the Griffins couch*
(Stewie turns to the girl)
Stewie: So...have you ever farted during sex?
(Brian slaps Stewie in the face. Stewie falls off of the couch)
*scene cuts back to Brian and Stewie sitting on the bed*
(The doorbell rings)
(Stewie puts a grin on his face)
(Stewie runs to answer the door, pushing Brian)
(Brian runs down the stairs and trips Stewie)
(Brian falls down the steps, together they fall down to the foot of the staircase)
(Brian runs and opens the door)
(A long, loud fart is heard)
(Stewie stares wide-eyed)
Stewie: No way!
(Peter walks in the door)
Stewie: Oh.
Peter: Hey Brian!
Brian: Hey Peter, aren't you suppose to be at work?
Peter: No Brian, with my new promotion I get an extra day off!
Brian: Oh wow, that's great Peter, what do you plan on doing today.
Peter: I'm going to see a movie with Quagmire.
Brian: What happened to Joe!
Peter: They don't have ramps at the movie theatre.
Brian: You're lucky to have an extra day off, not many people get that luxury.
Peter: I know I haven't been this excited since I saw Snakes on a Plane!
*Scene cuts to Peter sitting in the movie theatre*
(On the theatre screen Serpentor from GI Joe is sitting down)
(A flight attendant walks up to him)
Flight Attendant: Do you need anything sir?
Serpentor: Yes, a pillow and a blanket please.
*scene cuts to Stewie and Brian on the living room couch*
(Stewie checks his watch)
(Long silence)
(Stewie checks his watch again)
Stewie: So...you got stood up again?
(Brian sighed quickly and hung his head)
Stewie: Oh come on Brian, this isn't the first time somebody didn't get what they wanted.
*scene cuts to Stewie watching a TV*
TV announcer: Coming October 14th, the Star Wars trilogy in 3D!
Peter: Oh my god, oh my god, yes!
TV announcer: Yes, the classic prequel trilogy, but this time 30 more minutes of random CG shots.
*scene cuts to the TV screen which shows several scenes with ships fly at the screen*
*scene cuts back to Peter*
(Peter throws a fit and pushes the TV, breaking it)
*scene cuts back to Stewie and Brian*
Brian: I just give up Stewie, there's nobody out there for me.
Stewie: Hey, hey, don't say that, you never know, maybe all of the sick girls who would even think of doing it with a dog are already taken.
(Brian looks at Stewie and lowers his voice)
Brian: Thanks.
Stewie: Well, I know where we could get a sick girl that would want to have sex with a dog.