Pixy Stix
By: the female apophis
Disclaimer: Define owns...
Rating: PG-13.
Pairings: Do you really have to ask me that?
Spoilers: Let me know if you see some.
Summary: a conversation held over a bag of the sweet sugary stuff...
Archive: Sure, just let me know ahead of time.
A/N: eating these things are fun, and I wanted to see what would happen if Sam and Janet were having a girls night in with a bag or two of them. Hope you guys like this bit of random silliness...
********************
"So what time are you coming by tonight?"
"I'll probably be there around 9:00. That sound okay?"
"Yeah, can you bring the wine and stuff? I'm running a bit low, and I don't think I can make it to the store tonight."
"Sure. I'll see you then Sam."
"All right, see ya Janet."
The two friends got up from the breakfast table and went their separate ways.
At nine that night, Janet pulled up outside Sam's house, carrying a huge bag, overflowing with sweets. It was cradled in her right arm, while her left was carrying two bottles of wine. One red, Sam's favorite, and one white, her personal preference.
When Sam saw her friend approaching she opened the door and allowed her friend entrance.
Janet gratefully plopped the goodies down on the counter before hopping up and sitting on it herself. She watched as Sam got two glasses for the wine.
"Okay, you carry the wine, I'll get the goody bag."
"Okay."
Janet jumped off and grabbed the bottles before making her way to Sam's living room where she dropped with a resounding 'thud'. Sam soon collapsed beside her.
They poured the wine and tore into the goody bag, looking for their favorites.
"Janet, why did you buy Pixy Stix?"
"I like eating them every once in a while. Is that a crime?"
"You've never seen me when I eat these things. I get rather silly."
"Then we'll get silly together. Cassie can't stand the things, so I don't get to eat them very often." With that, she ripped the bag open and selected an orange one.
Sam selected a blue one before settling back into her place on the couch.
"What is it with you and blue food?"
"What?"
"Well, first there's the blue Jello, and now it's the blue Pixy Stix. What's it gonna be next, blue lemonade."
"What's wrong with blue lemonade?"
"You mean you've actually tried it?"
"Yeah, and it happens to be very good thank you very much."
"Ugh."
"Don't deny the fact that you want to try it one of these days."
"Actually, I don't want to try it. I don't like lemonade. How do you think I would like blue raspberry lemonade?"
"Good point. I still can't get over the fact that you don't like lemonade. It's un-American."
"Oh, it is not. What's un-American is the fact that you don't like apple pie. There's gotta be some kind of law against that."
"Hey, I had a bad experience. Can you blame me?"
"Well, no. I probably would feel the same way if I were you. I wouldn't want to go through that twice."
While this conversation was going on, the two women had already each started their fourth stick and were beginning to feel the side effects of that mixed with the wine.
Four hours later, the two women were quite giddy. Alcohol and Pixy Stix can do that to the unsuspecting person.
"So, tell me. Out of my guys, whose is bigger?"
"SAM! I can't believe you would ask me a question like that!"
"Well, can you blame a girl for being curious?"
"Well, no...but it's still not what I was expecting."
"So are you gonna tell me or not?"
"Okay, I'll tell you. Jack's is the biggest, followed by Daniel, and then Teal'c."
"Really? I mean, Teal'c looks like...well like his would be huge. Are you sure?"
"Sam, I had to give them all head exams when they come to get their physicals every year. We have to measure the circumference of their heads to see if there's any kind of growth that we may not be detecting by scan. It's a standard procedure. Remember, I have to do it to you every year as well."
"Yeah, that's true." In truth, that's not what she had been asking Janet, but she wasn't going to complain. Now she knew that her colonel was smarter than he acted.
"So, tell me something about Daniel that I don't know."
"Well, he talks about you in his sleep."
"He does not!"
"Yes, Janet he does. I had to wake him up one night for his watch, and by the sound of it, they're rather lusty dreams."
"Oh my god."
The two continued to giggle and carry on for the remainder of the night. Sam finally got the information out of Janet that she had originally wanted. She was stunned by the results.
"FIVE INCHES?! You have got to be kidding me?!"
"No, I'm dead serious. He's five inches."
"Damn. So, how big is the colonel?"
"Six."
Sam's eyes got big and she started choking on her wine.
"Six inches? Are you sure?"
"Yeah, he's the biggest of them all. Teal'c's five, Daniel's five as well, and Jack's six."
The two women went off into their own little worlds for a moment before Sam broke the silence.
"Well, I'm gonna go take a nice cold shower, and then hop into bed. The guest bedroom's all set up for ya. Good night Janet."
"Night Sam. Sleep tight."
"You too."
After stepping out of the shower, Sam climbed into her bed where she soon fell asleep. She was filled with dreams of Jack and a future.
She woke surprisingly refreshed the next morning.
Janet said she had been talking in her sleep.
Oh dear.
~fin~
Okay, so tell me what you thought. I would love to know. A bit silly, but I was on a Pixy Stix high when I wrote this. So, forgive me if it seems a bit...off.
"There's the stealth plane, the invisible plane. What good is an invisible airplane going to do? The enemy looks down at their radar and says, 'Well, there's no aircraft here. But there's two little guys in a sitting position at forty thousand feet.'"-Will Durst