A/N: Special thanks to dudelove85 for his intellectual contributions. Check him out because he's a pretty talented guy. Plus he puts up with me.
Deep within the bowels of his parent's basement, Lord Melstorm was a few clicks away from enacting his grand scheme. The pale light ignited the fuzz on his neck and his smile began to grow. With one final click living binary escaped his screen and began to take life.
It took the shape of a slimy green frog with a humanoid body and hateful eyes. The humanoid frog grabbed hold of Lord Melstorm and pulled him close. "What is the meaning of this? Can't you see I was perfectly fine not existing? Now I have to handle existentialism, do you think a giant frog wants that kind of burden?"
"I-I didn't mean to bother you," Melstorm muttered. "I just figured we had the same goals."
"Is your goal not to exist?" The frog inquired with his giant battle axe in his other hand, "because I might be able to assist you in that one."
"I'm trying to destroy our capitalistic society," Melstorm spits out as quickly as he could. He hoped that would be enough to avoid getting hit with a battle axe because he didn't think that would be a particularly enjoyable experience.
The demeanor of the frog changed rapidly. A crude grin formed on his gruesome face. "Now that you mention it I might be able to enjoy that as well."
Lord Melstorm couldn't be any happier.
Justice couldn't be any happier. He was having that dream he totally loved. The one where Megan Fox was washing the hood of his brand new Ford Mustang, only she had forgotten her towel and instead was using her overly voluptuous breasts instead.
Her breasts crushed against the driver's window and it was really cool and totally hot. The grease that had collected over her denim jacket washed away with the suds and she made a sort of soul linking eye contact.
"Justice…" a voice called. At first, he had assumed it was Megan Fox, but then he realized Megan Fox didn't sound like an elderly man.
Justice turned and to his total surprise, his grandfather was sitting in the car with him. This was totally weird for like two reasons.
grandfather had gone missing ten years prior.
grandfather was like seventy so why would he be checking out Megan Fox?
"Grandpa get out of here!" Justice exclaimed, "you gotta leave before she takes her bra off to wash my windows, I'm not gonna look at Megan Fox's boobs with you looking too!"
"We don't have time," his grandfather says in a panicked voice. "A dark force has escaped into our have to find the others." His grandpa reached into his pocket and placed the object he retrieved into Justice's hand. "Save the world before it's too late."
His grandfather was gone and Justice was happy because he was about to catch some wicked hot boobs, but first, he looked down at his hand and was struck with a surprise.
Sitting in his hand was a shiny new cell phone.
Justice thought, freaking yes! A brand new cell phone!
Justice was sitting in his seat while his teacher went on about math or something and that sucked but what didn't suck was his brand new cell phone. It was an Android Mega V and that was totally rad because he had been wanting that one for like two weeks.
He did think it was weird that his missing grandfather had given him the phone, but he would only have questioned it if his grandfather had given him a Mega IV because those were like from last year.
He looked up from his seat and noticed Dacey Roland was staring at him from across the room. Normally a girl looking at him would be kinda exciting because like maybe she wanted to date or score or something but like Justice was pretty sure Dacey Roland was a lesbian. His evidence to support this idea came from the fact she punched Ricky Holland when he said she had a nice rear, and like you'd have to be a lesbian to have that kind of reaction.
She kept staring at him and it was getting uncomfortable. He began to suspect he had something on his face, and that would be so suckish because a cute girl might see it. Well, Dacey Roland was pretty cute, but she was a total lesbian so he didn't think that counted.
After class, she approached him in the hallway. At first, he was like totally nervous because what if she wanted to make out with him. He hadn't ever made out with a girl before and like that seems pretty overwhelming.
Then he remembered she was a total lesbian and they didn't really make out with men to his knowledge.
"I know you have it," She said in a serious voice.
"Have what?" He asked. She just got totally mad and gave him a serious look and he got scared that she would punch him too, and that would like suck really hard because he hadn't even told her she had a good butt or whatever.
"The Morphing App!" She said.
"Dude I just got this phone, I haven't even checked out the apps."
Dacey was about to say something else but then Ricky Holland came over to them. "Hey lezbo," he said with a snarky expression. "I know Justice here looks a bit like a girl but unfortunately for you, he's got the wrong package."
Justice felt compelled to intervene but Ricky was a cool guy and sometimes he even let Justice smoke weed at his house. Justice was scared of losing that, especially because it was the only time he felt like he was apart of something.
"I don't think you want me to tell your girlfriend what you asked me to do to you," she said without blinking. "I bet she'd have to google just about every other word."
Dacey looked like an action movie star walking away from an explosion while Ricky was totally red faced and messed up.
At lunch, Ricky had piled his table full of his other (less cool) friends so Justice had to find somewhere else to set his tray. The lunch tables were pretty full, each and every group gravitated towards their own homogenized circle.
In the end, he sat at a small table next to this really weird girl in a Sword Online hoodie and blue colored hair. She was silently reading one of those backward comics that Justice had tried to get into in middle school but had given up when he couldn't figure out how to read the damn thing.
He read the cover as she turned the page. The comic was titled Skull Man. He observed a few pages while eating his lunch. The comic was pretty cool, with some sweet action and even some monochrome blood.
But things got really interesting when the titular Skull Man transformed into his hero identity.
"Dude that guy's like a Power Ranger!" Justice exclaimed.
"I guess," the girl said, never looking up from her book. "But to be fair Ishimaru's work predates the arrival of the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers."
Justice didn't know like half of those words, but he knew what the Power Rangers were. When they first appeared he hadn't even been born, but his parents were like totally obsessed, including his missing grandfather.
His grandfather was completely obsessed, having countless pictures he had flashed with his polaroid camera. Something about his work or something.
The blue haired girl's phone beeped in her pocket and she quickly pulled it out.
"You have a Megaforce V?" Justice asked.
The girl shrugged but Justice could see she was like starting to get uncomfortable. "Yeah, it's sort of a weird story."
"Did your grandpa try to check out Megan Fox's boobs with you?"
"What?"
But like before Justice could explain there was this crazy explosion.
Justice looked out the giant cafeteria windows and saw people running and screaming in fear. Mixed into the crowd of people were these weird guys in black jumpsuits and those white masks from that one movie he watched once on Netflix.
The creatures were incredibly slick and super fast. They would like sneak behind people and pull out their credit cards before scaring them away.
"Woah man," Justice said, "Somebody needs to call the Power Rangers!"
"We're already here," Dacey Roland said as she came up to Justice and the weird girl.
"Dude, you're a Power Ranger?" Justice exclaimed.
"Not just me," Dacey said with a serious look on her face.
"Wait, who else?" Justice asked and looked at the weird girl. The weird girl shrugged.
"I swear to Christ!" Dacey exclaimed, but before Justice could tell her to totally cool her top a giant green frog dude busted through the window.
"Your education system is flawed," the frog said in a gurgling voice, "and I've come to dismantle it. Manually."
The frog threw down his giant battle axe and tore right through one of the tables. Things were getting legit crazy.
"Get out your phones," Dacey barked.
"Oh yeah," Justice said and opened up Snapchat, "This is gonna go totally viral!"
"I can't do this," Dacey spat and opened up this app on her phone. The icon was a series of colors surrounding a silhouetted helmet. When the app opened it displayed a camera which was weird because it wasn't Instagram, Facebook or even Snapchat. A bright light covered her face from the phone screen and she called out, "It's Selfie Time!" before tapping the small blue dot at the bottom of her phone. A flash of light covered her body and when it disappeared she was a freaking Power Ranger!
Her Ranger armor clung tightly to her skin. It was a navy color with a hoody lay unzipped across her torso. Her helmet had a molded snapback backward across her helmet. She summoned her selfie stick which she held like a baton and rushed forward on her All Star Converse sneakers.
She managed to deflect one of the frog's swings with her selfie stick and kicked the creature right in his fat gut.
"Impressive," the creature said. "But you'll have to try harder to take old Poppy the Frog down!"
Justice was right in the middle of recording this sick fight when his thumb accidentally pressed the home button and his screen shifted to display all of his apps.
Holy moly he had that weird helmet app!
Without a second thought, Justice clicked the app and aligned his face with the Morphing filter. "It's selfie time!" He called and snapped his picture. Bright red light covered him and formed his personal armor. He had the same Nike jacket and SnapBack, only his was hidden over his drawn hood with only the bill sticking out.
He threw several energized Fiddlers that hit against Poppy's thick skin. The frog took a few steps back as sparks exploded around him.
It was crazy how much energy was surging through him. He felt like that guy from a Red Bull commercial. He drew a selfie stick, of his own and smashed it against Poppy's head.
"Any more of you I should be worried about?" The frog asked.
"Yeah!" A voice screamed. Justice turned and it was totally that weird blue haired girl. That explains why she had that phone. "It's selfie time!" She called and was covered in a pink light. Her suit had the pulled back hoodie and wore thigh high boots with pink ribbons running down them.
The Pink Ranger flanked the frog's side and regrouped with the two other Rangers.
The Blue Ranger was like, "Why didn't you do that earlier?"
"I had to let the app update," she said with a shrug.
"Three or three hundred, I'll crush every last one of you!"
"I don't think so dude," the Red Ranger said.
The Red Ranger then took a heroic pose, because he was a freaking Power Ranger!
"You can't teach a fish to climb a tree in the public school system," Poppy barked, "But I can teach you how to die!" He charged at the trio but they were totally ready. They each did a series of complicated attacks that finally pushed Poppy into a sudden retreat.
The grunts followed after taking every bit of identity they could from anyone's book bags and purses. And soon it was only the three newest Power Rangers.
They each demorphed in a flash of light.
Justice was so pumped he could hardly speak. That was so awesome that all he could say was, "Wow, that was freaking awesome!"
"You say that now," Dacey said. "But just you wait. This is a war."
"How do you know all of this?" Justice finally asked. He had wondered about it for awhile but he was scared she might bash his head in.
"My grandfather left me some of his old data before he disappeared."
"Your grandpa disappeared too?" Justice asked.
"So did mine," the blue haired girl said.
"I know," Dacey explained. "They were all a part of a group of scientists that worked together during the Cold War. They were trying to find a way to weaponize this strange energy. It was there that they found Sigma Vortex and knew it was only a matter of time before someone accidently tapped into it. That time is now."
And Justice was thinking, wow! That's one badass lesbian.
The sky of the Meme Graveyard was a murky gray. This was the land that the fallen stayed to rest for eternity. But lately, things were getting pretty noisy.
Poppy the Frog slopped around on his giant webbed feet. He was still sore from his fight with those stupid normies. He was going to get his revenge.
He stood at the cracked gravestone of another fallen warrior. He had fought bravely in his time and had clung to glory for as long as he could. Unfortunately, he had succumbed, just as the rest of them had.
That was about to change. Poppy channeled his newfound power. Not only had he been gifted life through the strange dark force but he had also gained the power to bring life to the other like him.
A dark aura escaped Poppy's outstretched hand and hovered over the grave. Sprinkles of dark energy sunk into the soil and after a few moments, the ground began to shake.
Then finally, a hairy arm materialized. The beast from within the dirt surfaced.
And it was a silverback gorilla.