Simmons pushed her hair back distractedly as she scribbled numbers into her notebook. Her latest experiment was not going as well as she had hoped it would be. And if she could only figure out what was wrong with it, the result could really help the team out. She sighed heavily before pushing the notebook away from her and started to peer into her microscope.
She had just been about to write something down when the shout came. "Simmons, come here. We've got a lead!" Skye's voice announced from down the hall. Jemma wrinkled her nose, something about that didn't feel quite right. Shrugging to herself, she began putting her things away, certain she wouldn't get a chance in the near future to conclude her experiment. As she was stuffing papers into files and putting her microscope away, she heard Skye saying, "Fitz, Mack, come on."
Jemma froze. That was what had been off. 'Simmons', by itself. She was no longer half of a whole; she had lost that part of their relationship when she had left Fitz. Maybe if she hadn't taken the Hydra mission, they could have figured things out. She shook her head at that thought. Fitz had been better off without her there. He needed time to figure his feelings out and focus on getting better, not worrying about Jemma.
No more would Skye or Coulson or May bark out "Fitzsimmons" as a command to frantically figure out why something was happening. It had been different when she had been undercover at Hydra. She was playing a part, a role that, for the first time in her life, did not include Fitz. But coming back to the BUS, where everything should be back to normal, was hard. Everything was different. Ward wouldn't be making sandwiches in the kitchen, he could burn in hell for what happened to Fitz. If he hadn't tried to kill them, everything would be fine. Although… Jemma knew she wasn't thinking the whole truth. If Ward hadn't trapped them in that container, who knows if Fitz ever would have found the courage to tell her his feelings. If he had though, she didn't know what she would have done. Obviously, they would have talked it through and dealt with it. She was positive that she could have fixed it, if it had happened under normal circumstances. Then she would have had time to think it through and formulate a response. She could have told Fitz why she only had ever thought of him as her best friend. But Ward took away that opportunity from them. She reflexively tightened her fists until her nails were piercing her palms. She concentrated on unclenching her fingers until they were straightened.
"Simmons, come on," Skye called again when Simmons hadn't moved fast enough. She smiled self-deprecatingly in response to her thoughts. Simmons walked to meet the rest of the team in the conference room. She slipped in to stand beside Bobbi who gave her a small smile before retorting sarcastically to something Lance said. She felt a twinge of sadness as she observed their easy banter. Even divorced, despite both of their complaining about the other, they still had a solid, dependable relationship. Unwillingly, Jemma's eyes flitted towards Fitz. Immediately his eyes darted away, an obvious giveaway he had been looking at her. She bit her lip and turned her head back to the screen.
Jemma fervently wished for the millionth time none of this had happened. She wanted her best friend back. That just didn't seem possible right now, though. She had lived a good chunk of her life without Fitz in it and she could learn to do so again. She just didn't want to.
I hope you enjoyed! If so (or if not), please leave a review! For the moment, this is all I am going to write. I am open to suggestions for new drabbles though, so message me any ideas!