"Merlin! Merlin!".

The blonde haired, blue eyed king shouted down the castle corridors. He had been stuck in a council meeting with the rest of the knights of the round table and now couldn't find his friend. As he was nearing his own chambers he called out Merlins name once again, gaining no response or sign of the younger dark haired skinny boy.

As the young king stepped through the large wooden doors to his chambers he saw the sight of the familiar figure hunched over on the ground, back to the door, a bucket of water to his right and a cloth in his hand, un-enthusiastically scrubbing the floor from left to right.

"God Merlin, I've been searching all over for you".

"Sorry sire", was the only mumbled reply from Merlin.

This in itself was strange, this was certainly not how the normally bright and bubbly servant acted. The king took a step closer and as he stopped to take a careful look at his servant he could see the pale face and down trodden expression that he wore on his face. Arthur knelt down next to his friend, trying to get Merlin to look into his eyes.

"Hay, Merlin, what's wrong?"

Merlin, trying to gather his composure and trying to will away the tears that had been lingering in his eyes all morning, took one shakey breath before speaking.

"You know how I once said that I'd be glad to serve you until the day I die"

"Of course, Merlin, what's this all about? You know you can tell me anything my friend", Arthur was clearly desperate, and if he was honest with himself, this sullen Merlin was starting to scare him a little. Trying to lighten the surrounding air Arthur carried on with "what's with all this drama dollop head".

Instead of Merlins usual declarations of 'Hay Prat, that's my word', he just looked into Arthur's eyes and allowed the tears to spill over, clutching to his friend with all of his strength, taking Arthur by surprise, the king wrapped his arms around his friends torso as he could see Guinevere and his young son stood at the door with a worried expression marring both of their faces.

Merlin cried into his friends neck.

"I can't do it anymore Arthur"

"What do you mean Merlin, cant do what?"

For the first time since Arthur walked in the chambers, Merlin looked up to meet his gaze. Eyes red and puffy, the intense blue of them becoming more and more profound.

"I see all of these happy people, walking around, moving on with their lives, and I can't Arthur, I just can't stand to see the happiness, not when I've lost so many"

Almost stumped for words, the king answered his friend.

"You are strong Merlin, if it wasn't for you these people probably wouldn't be happy", he was in need to stress the real meaning of what he was trying to say. "You make us all better people, you do so mush good and you are so good, Merlin"

"Please Arthur, please understand", the sobs were harsher now, wracking Merlins thin frame even as he was still in Arthur's clutches.

"No, you need to understand this Merlin, you have so mush to live for, you will love again, you will find peace again and you will find happiness, I promise you"

For a while Merlin said nothing, shoulders shaking with sobs and a head full of memories that he wanted to forget, and Arthur for his part didn't know what else he could tell his friend. One thing was sure though, the king wasn't going to let Merlin go without a fight. After another five minutes of crying a mumbled small voice piped up from the floor.

"Can you really promise such a thing"

"I can Merlin" Arthur said, wiping Merlins eyes with his thumbs, "because I don't know anyone who deserves happiness more than you, clotpole"

A small smiling playing on Merlins lips as he murmured "my word" had the king grinning. From the door the queen smiled and let down her young son, Alahad, only four years of age.

Arthur waved Alahad over to them and in doing so, Alahad ran over two words on his lips shouting happily as any four year old could "Uncle Merlin!".

The boy raced over and all but kept into Merlins arms and Merlin caught him easily.

"Can you show me the magic again uncle Merlin"

Arthur and Merlin shared a grin at that as Merlin conjured a small dragon that flew around the room with Alahad trying to reach for it.