So here we are again! I needed a break from Death Note (seriously...it seems like all I can write is Death Note fanfiction) so I decided to hop on over here to pass some time. This is just going to be a nice, relaxed story for me to write while I calm down from the utter destruction and angst that was my last piece. Like I mentioned, this is also available on AO3 under the name xDemon_Talex and the same title, so if you like reading with the pesterlogs colored properly then you can head over there and check it out. Happy reading!
(Also, why isn't action a category? I really want to tag this as action and drama. Am I blind?)
Chapter 1: Karkat: Complain About Your Life
"Karkat! Karkat, look out!"
"What…?" He looked up, dazed, but it was far too late to intercept the club that came screaming through the air towards his stomach, smashing into him so hard he was certain he heard a few ribs crack. His feet left the ground just briefly, blood rising in his mouth as he spluttered for breath, and the next moment he was laid out on his back with a shadowy figure towering above him.
"Karkat!" that voice screamed again, though he didn't know who it was. It sounded so familiar…he should know that voice.
The figure above him growled, another shadow appearing to the right of their head. It took Karkat far too long to figure out that it was a juggling club, dripping sickening rivulets of candy-red down onto his tattered clothing. Not his blood. Not all of it. Who else had shed enough blood to…?
Another voice bled into his rattled think pan. "Get the fuck away from him, you bastard! You've done enough; do you want to kill him? I thought you wanted him!"
Who were they? Who did these voices belong to? Why weren't they helping him?
"Can you even hear me?" one of the voices screeched desperately.
The figure above him let out a wheezing sound. The club rose higher above his head, and Karkat found himself staring directly at the end of it. If the other troll brought it down with even half his strength, his skull would cave with little resistance.
"No!" someone was begging. "No, please don't—!"
The club came down without hesitation, and Karkat's vision went dark with a sickening crack.
†††
Karkat jolted awake with a hoarse cry, nearly flinging himself off his sleep slat with the harsh jerking of his limbs. He was immediately fighting to free himself from the covers, cursing loudly when they became thoroughly tangled around his horns, not quite small enough to avoid catching on the soft material. At times like this, he cursed Rose and Kanaya and whoever the hell else was working on figuring out how to alchemize recuperacoons and enough sopor slime to go with them. They'd been living in their new universe for months, and not a single one of them had figured out the code. Of course, they probably had more important things to do—building hives, finding new sources of food and water, dealing with emotional trauma—those kinds of things—but whenever Karkat found himself waking up in a screaming fit, he cursed them all.
And what was worse was that waking up this way was becoming an increasingly common thing.
The troll finally disentangled himself from the sheets, swinging his feet over the edge of the sleep slat and taking a moment to just breathe and recover from his nightmare. And nightmare was the correct term—after living with the humans for so long, the remaining trolls had decided to flip their sleep schedules to accommodate them. It had been difficult at first, but now no one seemed to care much. Terezi and Kanaya were the only other trolls left alive, after all, and with Terezi off in paradox space searching for Vriska (who he liked to assume was dead, thank you very much), Kanaya was the only troll left on their new planet. And seeing as she was a rainbow drinker, she was naturally inclined to like the daylight anyway. So…actually, Karkat had been the only one that had been forced to adjust to a new sleep schedule.
Maybe that was why he was the only one having the nightmares.
They'd started a few weeks after the new universe had come into existence. At first, everything was good. John had opened the door and led them to the new world, they'd begun building hives, constructing their own little town, making sure the planet's new residents were comfortable. Everyone had been ridiculously happy. Even Terezi, stricken with concern for her missing moirail, had seemed more relaxed.
But then, everything had gone wrong. Terezi had left to search for Vriska, meaning that Kanaya was the only other troll left around—and she mostly kept to the lab with Rose, working on alchemizing basic necessities and hopefully on figuring out how to repopulate using the Matriorb. Dirk and Jake paired off next, and though they were still around, they were always fleeing the town to go on what they called adventures but what Karkat called a colossal waste of time and an excuse to make out without having to watch for prying eyes. Roxy and Callie hung around too, but Karkat didn't really have any interest in talking to them. It was the same with Jane, who liked to spend time in her hive baking things and shoving her creations down the throats of her fellow humans. Jade still lived in the immediate area, too, and while Karkat was almost ready to admit that he may have sported a bit of a flushcrush for the human at one point, those days were long behind him and he didn't really have any interest in talking to her. Besides, he doubted she would want to say anything to him after everything that had gone down between them in the past. He still wasn't proud of how much of an asshole past Karkat had been.
That left John and…Dave.
John was the same as he'd always been. Bright and excitable and always flying around trying to help people. Of course, he normally just ended up knocking things down and making a mess, but no one could resist him with that goofy smile on his face. He was just so busy, scrambling around and trying to see everything all at once and never settling down for more than a few minutes before he was up and buzzing away like one of those pesky lightningbeasts he'd freed from beneath the clouds. During those first few weeks, back before Karkat had locked himself away in his hive and decided that he'd rather not come out, John had always gone out of his way to ask how he was doing. But now that he was busy exploring, John had been too focused to spare any time to say hello. Not that it was his fault—Karkat didn't really go outside much to begin with, and John wasn't around all that often either, so they just…didn't really run into each other that much. Sometimes Karkat would troll him late at night when he was feeling particularly down, but that was the extent of their interaction.
And then…there was Dave.
Karkat winced. Things were…complicated, there. Before, when they were all hanging around on the meteor, they'd been best pals. Dave's words, not his. They'd spent so much time together, and he'd really thought that maybe…
His computer dinged. Speak of the devil.
He pushed himself to his feet, stretching his arms over his head just briefly before wandering over to his husktop and checking trollian. Then he frowned, seeing that it wasn't Dave at all; it was Kanaya. What did she want?
- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] -
GA: Karkat
GA: Karkat Are You There
GA: Well Even If You Are Not I Feel That A Report On Our Progress Is Long Overdue
GA: Its Been Weeks Since We Last Spoke
CG: YEAH YEAH JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HOOFBEASTS FOR ONE MINUTE
GA: Very Well
GA: They Are Being Held
CG: . . .
CG: OKAY
CG: NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT?
CG: A REPORT ON WHAT?
GA: After Our Last Chat It Became Clear That You Were Interested In When We Would Be Able To Alchemize Recuperacoons For The Remaining Trolls
GA: Or Rather You Yelled At Me In Frustration That We Had Not Yet Accomplished Such A "Fucking Minor Task"
GA: I Thought You Might Want To Hear How We Were Doing
GA: Like I Said
GA: You Havent Been Around For Weeks So I Never Got To Tell You Anything
CG: OH
CG: OH YEAH FUCK SORRY ABOUT THAT
CG: I'VE BEEN DISTRACTED.
GA: Distracted By What
GA: Ive Heard You Dont Leave Your Hive
CG: NEVER MIND THAT, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
CG: DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT?
CG: CAN I FINALLY GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT WANTING TO FORCIBLY EJECT EVERYTHING FROM MY INTESTINAL TRACT THE INSTANT I WAKE UP?
CG: BEACUSE I'M NOT GONNA LIE, THAT WOULD BE REALLY FUCKING GREAT
CG: LIKE, LEVELS OF GREAT SO INTENSE THAT NOT EVEN STRIDER'S SUNGLASSES WOULD BE ABLE TO PROTECT HIS PATHETIC OPTICS FROM THE GLARE
GA: Weve Made Progress
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
CG: "PROGRESS"
CG: BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF FUCKING NOTHING FROM WHERE I'M STANDING.
CG: SITTING.
CG: WHATEVER.
GA: It
GA: Would Seem That Way Yes
GA: We Managed To Create Something Vaguely Resembling Sopor Slime But It Burned My Skin On Contact
GA: And It Also Burned Rose So I Suspect That It Has Nothing To Do With What I Am
GA: A Rainbow Drinker That Is To Say
CG: WELL THAT'S JUST GREAT
CG: I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT, BUT MAYBE YOU COULD SPEND LESS TIME TALKING TO ME ABOUT FUCK ALL AND WORK ON ALCHEMIZING SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MELT YOUR FUCKING SKIN OFF THE MOMENT IT TOUCHES YOU
CG: THOUGH TO BE HONEST, THAT'S STARTING TO SOUND REALLY APPEALING RIGHT ABOUT NOW
GA: Im Sorry If Youre In Any Kind Of Discomfort Because Of Our Actions
GA: Were Working As Hard As We Can But There Are Also Other Things We Have To Worry About
GA: Building A New World From Scratch Isnt As Easy As We Hoped
CG: YEAH I NOTICED
CG: IT'S HARDER WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT BEING ASSAULTED BY IMAGES OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS TEARING YOUR ORGANS OUT THROUGH YOUR WASTE CHUTE, OR MAYBE YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE IF THE UNIVERSE IS FEELING PARTICULARLY BENEVOLENT THAT DAY.
CG: BUT YOU KNOW
CG: MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME BEING OVERDRAMATIC.
GA: Karkat If You Need To Talk To Someone Im Here
GA: You Can Message Me Whenever You Want
CG: YEAH AS IF
CG: YOU'RE ALWAYS WITH ROSE NOW, IT'S A MIRACLE IF I CAN GET YOUR ATTENTION
CG: SO BUSY ALCHEMIZING EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE ONE THING THAT WOULD ACTUALLY HELP ME
GA: ...
CG: WAIT
CG: FUCK
CG: I'M SORRY
CG: THAT WASN'T RIGHT
CG: LOOK, KANAYA I KNOW YOU'RE DOING REAL IMPORTANT SHIT OVER THERE, I SWEAR I DO.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO MAKE THIS WORLD BETTER FOR EVERYONE AND I'M JUST BEING A HUGE FUCKASS ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF A FEW NIGHTMARES
CG: SO SORRY ABOUT THAT
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY
CG: IF YOU MANAGE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO ALCHEMIZE RECUPERACOONS OR SLIME OR ANY OF THAT BULLSHIT
CG: JUST LET ME KNOW.
GA: Of Course
GA: Youll Be The First To Know
GA: Just
GA: Message Me If Things Get Bad
GA: Or Worse
CG: YEAH RIGHT WILL DO
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -
Karkat groaned, banging his head into the desk. Idiot! He'd asked Kanaya weeks ago to keep him updated on how all the alchemizing buffoonery was going, and then he just had to go and snap at her the instant she tried to do just that. He was a horrible friend.
Not my fault, he tried to remind himself. I've been on edge ever since the nightmares started; I can't be blamed if I'm a bit more irritable than normal.
That didn't make him feel better, though. What he really wanted was to message Dave, but things were weird between them at the moment and he didn't want to make it worse.
He sat there at his desk. Stared at his trollian window. Tapped his foot impatiently.
Okay, fine!
- carcinoGeneticist [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -
CG: HEY ASSHOLE ARE YOU THERE?
Karkat leaned back, staring at the tiny window in hopes of a response. Then he leaned forward again, agitated, and banged out another message on his poor, abused keyboard.
CG: HEY ASSHOLE ARE YOU THERE?
CG: ANSWER ME
CG: DAVE
CG: I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOG IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO DO AN ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE STRAIGHT OFF THE EDGE OF A FUCKING CLIFF AND PLUMMET TO MY DEATH.
CG: DAVE
CG: ARE YOU ACTUALLY NOT THERE OR ARE YOU JUST FUCKING WITH ME?
CG: ...
No response. He curled one arm around his midsection as if that could hold in the dull ache that was beginning to build there. He was tempted to just sit there, wallow in the bitterness that was being forced to watch his best pal ignoring the shit out of him, but he knew that would get him nowhere and he was not one for wallowing. And so he ceased trolling Dave and pushed himself away from his husktop, getting to his feet and firmly closing the lid. His fingers weren't shaking. They weren't. It wasn't as if this mattered, anyway—he still had a mini computing device that John had forced on him when they'd first come to the new universe, so he wouldn't be missing any trollian notifications. Unfortunately.
He peered out his respiteblock window, not sure if he should feel pleased or irritated at how impossibly bright and clear it was outside. It was a beautiful day by human standards. Maybe he should venture out today, see what everyone was up to. He hadn't been out in a while, except to head out into the surrounding wilderness and just sort of hang about listlessly. There was a beautiful range of cliffs nearby that gave way to the ocean, and he'd claimed that expanse of space as his own. He wasn't really sure what he was waiting for, standing around by the cliff like he did so often.
Wait, no—that was a lie. He was waiting for Dave to get his fucking head out of his waste chute and come talk to him like an adult instead of running like a coward.
Honestly.
Karkat glanced down at himself, checking to make sure what he was wearing was acceptable. He'd slept in the clothes he was wearing now—his usual black Cancer shirt and gray pants—but they looked pretty clean, and he was fairly certain they didn't stink quite yet. He should be fine.
He made his way down the stairs just outside his respiteblock, passing the empty room that was supposed to be Dave's. The two of them had agreed to live together back when they'd first arrived in the new universe, so they'd worked to design a hive big enough for both of them. There was even a master bedroom down the hall with a bed big enough to fit both of them, but it was obvious that they weren't going to be using that anytime soon. If at all.
Fucking Dave. Fuck.
Karkat sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Now was not the time to be thinking about the Knight of Time. Today he was going to go out into the town and see how things were going and not worry about whatever the hell he'd done wrong with Dave.
He pushed open the door to his hive and stepped outside, instinctively tensing as if in preparation for an incoming attack. But then he remembered that he wasn't on Alternia anymore, and his muscles immediately melted into moderate relaxation. He hadn't lived on Alternia for sweeps since entering the game, and still he tensed every time he walked out his front door. It was hard to curb something that had once been a survival instinct. One day, maybe.
He walked further out, eyes raking up and down the other hives in his lawnring. Or, neighborhood. The humans called this thing a neighborhood. There were several small clusters of hives around here, but Karkat was relatively isolated where he'd chosen to live. His hive stood proudly behind him, while the hive Kanaya shared with Rose rested to the right and Terezi's empty abode towered to the left. There was another empty one beside it, which Terezi had built for Vriska upon her hopeful return. All of the hives were connected by a worn path that then curved through a spattering of trees and joined with the main town, where the majority of the townspeople lived. To the west of town, Dirk and Jake had set up a single shared hive with about twenty massive rooms designated for their mechanical projects. Or rather, Dirk's mechanical projects and Jake's brilliant ability to break all of said projects. It was a massive thing, and it was a miracle that Jade and Jane could live in their hives by them without being kept awake all night by the countless explosions that split the sky with every mistake Jake made. It was a miracle that guy was still alive, really.
Moving on, straight to the east of town stood the hive shared by Roxy and Callie. They were relatively quiet, and Karkat chose to avoid them completely whenever possible. Callie kinda creeped him out, if he was being honest.
Traveling north from town was where John had made his hive. At first it had seemed strange that such a personable guy had made his hive separated from everyone else. But when Dave had decided to move out (which was a strong term, seeing as he hadn't lived with Karkat for more than a few days before getting cold feet and running like an asshole) he'd chosen to build his hive right beside John's to alleviate that separation. They seemed happy there, from what Karkat could tell. He wanted to hate John for the way Dave had chosen to live near him instead of in the hive he'd originally agreed to live in, but he knew it wasn't like that between them, and so he wasn't upset. He didn't think he could hate John if he tried, not anymore. Dave, on the other hand, he was pissed at.
Honestly, who the hell does that? Leads a guy along, convinces him he's waxing red for him, agrees to live with him, then just runs away without giving a solid explanation? It can't be because of that fucking ridiculous concept of human homosexuality, can it? I thought Dave was all on board with the whole throwing away labels thing, and just going with what he felt was right! He had that conversation with John that he told me about, and he sounded so ready accept what he was feeling…and then he fucking ran! I should have known he would wimp out at the last moment; humans are pathetic.
He started, realizing that a low growl had started at the back of his throat. Luckily, no one was around to hear it. Obviously Kanaya and Rose weren't in their hive, seeing as they were always at the lab, and Terezi had vowed to stay gone for as long as it took to find Vriska. Karkat was alone in his lawn ring, alone in his hive, and just alone in general. That was okay, though. He was used to being alone.
…Kind of.
Actually…not really. He'd gotten pretty used to having Dave around while he was on the meteor, and maybe, maybe he'd felt something of a flushed variety for the human. Maybe. Maybe enough to be the one that asked to move in together when they arrived in their new world, and maybe enough to scream at him when he decided to run away at the last moment.
Karkat groaned, rubbing at his eyes, careful of his claws. He'd really made a mess of things, hadn't he?
Damn, he wished he had a moirail.
Briefly, he considered messaging Kanaya back to work through whatever bullshit emotions were plaguing his think pan, but he swiftly decided against it. He liked Kanaya, he truly did—but he knew that pale feelings didn't exist on either side of the equation. Kanaya always acted somewhat pale around him, but she was like that with everyone, just like Vriska was constantly slinging spades at anyone that crossed her path.
Looks like I'm really about to go right the fuck off the deep end, he acknowledged with a laugh. Then he winced, realizing that laughing aloud at his own thoughts was definitely a sign of just how hard he'd jumped off the metaphorical cliff. Deep down, he knew that he needed to talk to Dave, or John, or someone about the nightmares that he'd been having, and their consequent effect on his psychological state. Actually, he was sure that Rose would have a field day with him right about now if he let her get close. But he was determined to not become some kind of weird science-y experiment, and it was with that in mind that he finally wandered towards the center of town.
It was quiet, as usual. The town was still small, containing only a spattering of prospitarians and dersites. The few that lived there seemed content, though, buzzing about peacefully and going about their lives with little conflict. Karkat hadn't bothered to learn any of their names. As he looked around, he was searching only for the other humans and trolls. Er, the other troll. He forgot sometimes that his species had been reduced to a shouty asshole, a psychotic blind girl, and a rainbow drinker. And maybe a deranged spider lady, if said spider lady was even still alive. Which again, it would be easier if she wasn't.
"Hello there, Karkat!"
He looked up, surprised to hear his name being called from the other side of the street. His eyes raked across messy black hair, buckteeth, and rectangular glasses, and for just a moment his heart leapt as he thought that John had come to speak with him. But then he caught sight of the green eyes behind those glasses, and he realized with a sinking blood pusher just who he was talking to. "Jake." He looked around, almost expecting to be smashed into the ground by a surprise attack at any moment. "Where's Dirk?"
"Oh, were you looking for Strider? Apologies, my good fellow, but I haven't seen him since the sun showed its glorious face above the horizon! We got up to some delightful adventuring last night, you see, and he was right tuckered out when returned home!"
Karkat snorted. "Right. Adventuring."
He relished the blush that spread across Jake's features. He hadn't lost his edge when it came to trolling people.
"I say, what are you suggesting?" Jake spluttered, expression entirely too John-like for his tastes. "I'll have you know, sir, that the two of us are strictly—!"
Jake didn't have the chance to finish his sentence before Karkat was suddenly face down in the dirt, an irritatinglyfamiliar weight settled onto his back via a single shoe. He wished he hadn't been through this enough to know exactly what had happened.
Fucking Dirk Strider.
"Jake," greeted a smooth voice. "Is this asshole giving you trouble?"
"Come now, was that really necessary?" Jake protested, and Karkat could feel the human's concerned gaze burning into the back of his skull. "Again, Dirk?"
"As soon as he learns to keep that tongue of his sealed away, I'll stop having to grind his face into the dirt." And he just knew those infuriatingly pointy shades were angled his way, because then Dirk was asking, "Are you going to behave yourself if I let you up, or should I let you swallow more grit first?"
Karkat tried to growl, but it came out as more of a groan. He was used to this—Dirk coming out of nowhere and smashing him into the ground the instant he tried to talk to Jake. Of course, that just made the troll want to antagonize him more, which led to Dirk tackling him more, and soon they'd locked into a game that had gotten a hundred times more violent the instant Dave had decided to move out.
Dirk seemed to take his lack of response as an agreement. "That's what I thought."
And now was the point where Dirk vanished, flash stepping over to Jake just as Karkat decaptchalogued his sickles and took a swing at him that he knew would never make contact. He pushed himself up and out of the dirt with a huff, shaking the dust from his clothing like he normally did whenever this happened.
"Now," Dirk sighed, "what was that you were saying, Jake? The two of us are strictly what?"
"Dirk!" Jake yelped. "Come on, I had to say something to the effect of—!"
Karkat looked up just in time to see just the slightest of creases form between Dirk's brows. Ooh, he must have been truly pissed to be showing such emotion. Normally he was a goddamn brick wall.
"We're leaving." Dirk closed a hand on Jake's forearm, pausing to shoot Karkat a burning glare. "Me and my boyfriend kindly request that you stay out of our way. Go vent to John if you need someone to talk to, but don't bother us!"
Then he was gone, vanishing like he always did with Jake in tow.
"Arrogant bastard," Karkat grumbled, only staggering slightly as he righted himself. He'd never been on good terms with Dirk per say, but things had gotten so much worse after Dave had ditched him. Dirk seemed convinced that the whole mess was the troll's fault, which didn't even make any sense because Dave was the one that had run out on him. But Dirk was just as much as a stubborn asshole as his relative, and he'd decided that Karkat was the one to blame.
But still…
Go vent to John if you need someone to talk to!
…He had a point.
Stumbling a little as he started walking again, he briefly considered going to John just to talk to someone about these horrible nightmares. Trolls weren't built to withstand keeping such emotions bottled up for very long, thus the need for moirails to exist in the first place. Karkat knew that he was tempting fate by not talking to Kanaya or John or one of the others about it, but he didn't want to bother Kanaya, and going to John meant potentially seeing Dave. He thought that if he saw the person that had kick-started his descent into becoming a rambling mess, he might just break down entirely then and there. And he was not going to look weak in front of him of all people. He didn't think he could stand it.
Still, though…he was beginning to feel desperate.
Maybe desperate enough to risk running into Dave.
I don't even know if John is home right now, he thought, trying to find a way out of doing what he was about to do. He's probably off gallivanting around the new world, running himself ragged exploring everything. If I go there, I'll just end up facing an empty hive. I should turn back now, maybe take Kanaya's offer.
Even as he thought it, he knew it wasn't going to happen. John's house was just over the rise anyway; he'd already walked the entire length of the village arguing with himself. He'd just stroll on over and take a peek—and if John was nowhere to be found, or if Dave was hanging around in the open, he'd turn around and leave. Make himself scarce for a while, go hang out by the cliffside not too far from his hive. Isolating himself there was a poor substitute for someone to talk to, but still.
Karkat ducked into the trees surrounding the path to the place John and Dave had claimed as their own. He'd keep to the shadows now, scope out the scene before he threw himself headlong into an unpleasant encounter. He slunk his way right down the path until the two hives were in sight, one towering high above the trees, the other sporting only two stories. They provided a sharp contrast, perfectly mirroring the personalities of the people that had built them. Dave, a towering mess of complexities and twisting pathways, and John, with his simple but warm personality.
Now…were the two of them home?
Karkat scanned the clearing surrounding the two hives, raking the space for any sign of movement. For just a moment he thought that his decision had been made easy, and that both humans were out. But then a voice boomed from above, strong and joyous, and Karkat knew that his decision would be a thousand times harder since John was actually there.
"Dave! Daaaaaave! Get out here, you lazy bum!"
Karkat winced. So Dave was here, was he?
Something crashed loudly inside the multi-story hive, and then a loud string of expletives came flowing from an open window. That was something Dave had picked up from him while they were on the meteor, and something that he hadn't been able to shake since he'd started living with John.
"Oh, gosh! Are you okay?" John flew down a few feet, peering into the open window of Dave's hive.
"Yeah, yeah, just give me a moment, Egbert!" There was another series of small crashes before a familiar head of blond hair appeared, quickly followed by a red-pajama-clad Dave Strider as he threw himself out the window. He caught himself long before he would have hit the ground, rocketing up into the air to hover beside John.
Karkat's blood pusher clenched at the sight of him. He hadn't changed—and of course he hadn't changed; they'd only been apart for a few months! And they had seen each other a few times since then, making brief, awkward eye contact in the streets before flitting away to sulk in peace. There had even been one or two ill-advised trollian conversations, always ending in stilted goodbyes that were quite possibly even more awkward than their strange moments of eye contact. Those conversations had petered off recently, though, as Karkat grew more secluded and Dave seemed happy to hang around John. Again, he wasn't worried. He wasn't. He was absolutely not worried that John "I Am Not A Homosexual" Egbert was living in such close quarters with his…his whatever Dave was to him. Maybe nothing, at this point. He wasn't sure.
"Oh, good! Come on, you promised we'd go adventuring today!" John shot several feet into the air, looking around as if trying to decide where to go. He was still wearing those blue pajamas. They were more than free to change out of the damn things now that they were on a new planet and their session had ended, but John seemed far too attached to ever give them up. Dave wasn't really the same way—he wore regular clothing quite often, Karkat remembered—but he still liked to slip back into his god tier pajamas to fly around with John, it seemed. Maybe he liked the cape.
Just like Eridan, Karkat thought, but then he stopped. That was a dangerous train of thought, as was any that dealt with the dead trolls. Especially any dead trolls that had created more dead trolls before being chainsawed violently in half by Kanaya.
A flicker of movement caught his attention. Dave was flying after John, drifting up into the open air and emoting, "Right…I promised. So where are we headed today, Egbert?"
John said something in return, but Karkat wasn't listening anymore. It was clear that he wasn't going to get to talk to John today, not while he was running around with Dave on a leash.
Not jealous, he reminded himself again. Not. They're not like that.
John rocketed off, chattering excitedly and beckoning Dave to follow. The blond followed, too, seeming perfectly content to drift along after his friend. Karkat saw what no one else did, though. He saw the way Dave stopped, not far off from his hive, and looked back with that strange expression on his face. Well, not much of an expression, really—Dave was far too composed for that. Rather, he saw the slight worsening of the downward-turn of his lips, and he saw the gathering of nearly invisible creases that plagued his features. He was concerned. Concerned and searching, for while his eyes weren't visible behind his shades, it was obvious from the turning of his head that he was scanning the earth below. What was he looking for? Was someone supposed to be visiting or something?
Before he could really stop to think about it, Dave was turning and flying away, and his face was no longer visible.
He looked so worried…I hope he's okay. Then he shook his head, remembering that Dave didn't want him to hope he was okay anymore. Fuck.
Karkat shook himself out of his depressed stupor, angling his body back for the center of town as he started to move. John was busy, Dave didn't want him—so it looked like he was headed to the cliffside. Again.
I'll just have to message John later. Hopefully he picks up this time.
He turned. He'd head back through town and try to make himself as small as possible no his way back. If Dirk was around, he didn't want to invite another attack. He just wanted to get back to his hive, duck through into the surrounding forest, and make his way to the cliffside and the ocean below it. As a landdweller, he was hard-coded to be absolutely terrified of the ocean. That was where the sea dwellers lived, and they were vicious. Now that they lived in a world where sea dwellers no longer existed, of course, there was really no reason to fear—especially for someone like him, whose fucked up mutations included a grand total of eight gill slits running across his sides. Eight, not the usual six, because apparently even his mutations had mutations, not to mention the fact that the lower two slits didn't even work right and he didn't have gills on his neck to match. He supposed that he should have been thankful for that one, actually. If anyone had been able to see the evidence of his mutations, he never would have lived past grubhood.
He could breathe underwater. He had no reason to be afraid of the ocean. But he was afraid, which was why he went and sat atop the cliffs that dropped away so suddenly into the sea. Maybe it was some kind of sick, self-inflicted punishment for all the mistakes he'd made in the game, or maybe it was a selfish desire to feel something other than anger, even if that something was fear. For whatever reason, though, he always ended up right at the seaside. Ever since things had quieted down, it had been his go-to place to carry out the habit pathetic moping that he couldn't seem to shake.
He had a plan, then. Go home. Find the ocean. Maybe message John later. Try not to think about Dave.
And most importantly, try with all his might to never fall asleep again.