Frontier 02: Remedy

madjack89: Hi guys! Time for a new one-shot!

Nina: And this time it stars me, Dusky, and kitty! Yay!

Duskmon: *sighs* Sometimes you wear me the hell out, Nina.

Kouichi: No kidding.

madjack89: Yup, I've got these three with me today in order to write a very special one-shot! The reason it's special? It's the one-shot that TobiGB requested for his birthday!

Nina: Happy birthday…again!

Duskmon and Kouichi: *roll eyes*

madjack89: Geez, you guys are like twins today.

Duskmon: No.

Kouichi: I already have a twin.

madjack89: True. So anyway, GB suggested I write a fanfic from Chief's, Dusky's, and Nina's POVs concerning what's happened during the last few chapters of F2R. Naturally, I couldn't turn down this opportunity to challenge myself as a writer, delve further into the minds of my characters, and write a neat little side story! Hooray!

Nina: Wow, now everyone will get to sneak a peek inside my head!

Duskmon: Oh god…

Kouichi: I'm not sure I want to know what goes on in her mind, Madjack.

madjack89: Well, GB does, so too bad! Now, let's start this thingy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Dusky or Chief. They're much too cool for me to have made up on my own. Nina, however, is mine. If you can't tell, I enjoy characters with an edge of insanity!

—

~Kouichi's POV

Looking back on what happened a couple days ago, I can't help but pinpoint one pivotal moment as setting off a domino effect of pain for everyone around me. All my friends, Zoe, Kouji…I'd nearly ruined everything that I'd never realized I wanted until I'd gotten it. It's kind of funny that one little moment of weakness could almost crush everything that had made my life worth living. Three stupid little words had almost been a death sentence for Kouji, and, by association, for me.

"I give up."

I wish that I could say this hadn't been completely my fault. That was the only thing that could at least slightly assuage the guilt I still felt for having become Cherubimon's pawn, because that's what I'd been. A pawn. I hadn't known about any of this Digital World stuff at that point. Back then, I'd only known that Duskmon's spirit could calm the raging turmoil of confusion I'd felt, and that had been enough.

But I don't have that excuse now. I knew exactly what I was doing when I offered Nina my hand. I knew what I'd become if I let her have me. And for one stupid moment, I hadn't cared enough to fight against her. I'd wanted that blanket of numbness back, because my whole world had just about crumbled around me.

Why had they decided to go behind my back and tell my secret to the others? Oh right, because I'd scared Takuya into taking drastic measures. But however good my friends' intentions had been, because I know they'd been good, that didn't erase the looks I'd seen on Kira's, Dai's, and Hotaru's faces right after they'd learned the truth.

I can't be the righteous, self-sacrificing guy all the time. Maybe if I'd come about ten minutes later, things would've been different. They'd have been able to hide how horrified they were…of me. That reaction was to be expected, though. It was a pretty big shock for them. But still, it hurt to know that now they were afraid of me, even just a tiny bit. I may try to say that I deserve to be feared and hated by nearly everyone, but who can honestly say that they want to be hated?

Well, I guess I can now.

Because right as Nina had cheerfully grabbed my hand, I knew I'd just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

—

~Nina's POV

Y'know, I'm not all that bad once you get to know me. I'm cheerful, friendly, fun, lots of cool stuff! So why does kitty hate me so much?

It was almost more than I could stand to keep traveling back into his mind only to find that he still had that look of hatred in his eye. I put on a cheerful expression for him, but I was really kinda sad. I didn't like being hated by someone I loved so much.

By the way, it's not LOVE love I have for him. He's got the Warrior of Wind for that. Wink. (Kouichi: *sigh*) It's just…I created Lowemon out of my own essence. He's kind of a part of me and, by association, kitty is a part of me, too.

That's why it hurt so much when big kitty (Lowemon) left me. He took a big piece of me with him, and without that, I haven't felt whole in…a whole bunch of years. Being with kitty made me feel a lot better, but it wasn't the same as the connection we'd had. So I had to get that back, too, and the only way to do that was for him to willingly give himself up to me.

Okay, it's not really hard for me or Ellie to get people, or Digimon, to do exactly what we want. It's all in the eyes. For whatever reason, they're really mesmerizing. Not even we know why they're like this, but they are. Because of this, I could easily have gotten kitty to surrender himself to me. It would've taken a little patience since he'd figured out what I could do, but eventually, he would've looked up just a little too long, and then I would've had him hook, line, and sinker.

But I didn't want to take away his free will. I wanted him to choose me on his own, without any interference from me. (Well, maybe a little interference. Hee!) Unfortunately, that set him up to get betrayed by Light, just like me.

That stupid puppy. I wanted to sew his mouth shut for all the mean things he'd said to kitty. Obviously kitty cares about him. Kitty's so nice that he'd placed all his faith in puppy and gotten hurt because of it. Well, I went all-out after that night, pestering kitty with what he knew was the truth. His brother was a cruel meanie-head. He'd hurt him for no reason other than petty jealousy. He deserved punishment for that. He deserved death.

The fact that it took kitty another fourteen (I counted!) hours to finally accept the truth just shows how great a person he is. But eventually, he had to face the fact that his brother, even his friends, were backstabbers that would only keep hurting him.

So he finally took my hand, and I truly entered his mind.

—

~Duskmon's POV

I'd known Nina was gone when I felt a veil lift from me, letting me truly see the world for the first time. Well, not a literal veil, more figurative than that. I'd realized with a start how much my eyes had been clouded before. Nearly all I'd been able to think about was helping Nina complete her mission. I'd wondered briefly if she'd done this accidentally or on purpose. Maybe a little of both.

I remember exactly where I'd been when the veil had lifted. I could find the exact spot in the exact hallway of the RMS I'd been standing at the time. Oddly enough, everything had seemed brighter for a moment. Then I'd been suddenly wracked with pain.

My brain, the logical part of me, told me that I'd been attacked. The problem was that there was no attacker. I would've seen someone sneaking up on me, a helpful advantage of my slightly grotesque appearance. (You mean the eyeballs?) So what was going on?

It had taken me a moment to decipher what I was feeling, because that's exactly what had been going on. I'd been feeling. The guilt hadn't hit me yet, but this emotion was almost as powerful. With Nina gone, I'd realized that I was…lonely.

She'd been the only one I'd ever associated with on a fairly…friendly level. Had we developed a friendship? I wasn't even entirely sure what a friendship was supposed to mean. I'd been in a human's mind before, but I hadn't been able to decipher feelings, just facts. I knew how to provoke emotional responses in others, but I'd never feared having one myself.

The only emotions I'd ever known were frustration and anger. It never got more complicated than that, besides maybe feeling slightly jealous of Kouichi for all he had and all I didn't...I could easily write these off, though. They weren't all-consuming. Not like this newfound loneliness.

For the first time ever, I'd wanted company. I'd never wanted or needed this before. The only companions I had were on the battlefield, and even then, they were easily disposed of. Arbormon hadn't been hard to get rid of, and I certainly hadn't felt abandoned or lonely after Grumblemon, Ranamon, and Mercurymon were killed. They hadn't even liked me, and that trend of dislike for me had continued to the present with my new "comrades," to use a Naruto buzz word. (See? Dusky can be funny, too!) I'd never cared that no one wanted to be near me, so why had I started to care at that moment?

I would've pinpointed the lifted veil as my problem if I hadn't been preoccupied by Ilsemon's sudden appearance. I'd raised my head and glared at her warily as she'd walked (more like stalked) toward me. I remember that she'd had a big grin on her face, as if someone had just given her an exciting new gift. What I hadn't known was that the gift had been me.

Without a word, she'd lifted her hand and placed it on my shoulder. That's the last thing I recall before the memories came flooding to the surface.

After enduring this torture, I finally understood why Kouichi had such a passionate hatred for me. I'd never been able to fully comprehend why the past should hurt him so much in the present. It was crystal-clear when I'd felt guilt for the first time.

I can't say with exact clarity what happened next. It was all a blurry haze of pain for me, with small moments of reality thrown in for good measure. Mostly the moments of reality involved Ilsemon's taunts.

Even after she'd lowered her arm, I'd continued to conjure up guilt-ridden memories on my own. Killing, maiming, slaughtering…it had all begun to flow together in a never-ending stream. The worst of it, though, was knowing that I'd corrupted an innocent soul and tainted it. I'd had to go and bring Kouichi down with me. Now there was no hope for either of us. We were both damned.

Ilsemon had laughed at my pained expression. She'd LAUGHED, the bitch. Now you can see why I hate her so much, can't you?

But of course, she hadn't stopped there. At first, I'd tried to fight against the haze of my new emotions, refuting Ilsemon's comments. But she'd won out in the end, and I could only stand and listen as she'd filled my head with the things I already knew, but shuddered to think about.

"You have no friends!"

Yes.

"You truly are a pathetic creature, Duskmon."

Yes.

"Sadness, loneliness, guilt…it hurts, doesn't it?"

Oh god, yes!

I'd nearly hit bottom at this point. Kouichi had truly taken everything from me. My life, my purpose, my veil of indifference, all gone. Even now, I don't know why the universe hadn't just blotted me from existence then and there. That was all I'd wanted. To not be anything anymore. To be gone, not just dead, but gone. Wiped from everyone's memories and completely destroyed. I'd wanted to be rid of myself entirely.

If it hadn't been for Renamon, I'm confident that I wouldn't have lived to see another day.

—

~Nina's POV

I didn't like seeing kitty in so much pain during the process of "liberation," especially since it didn't have to be painful. It only hurt because he fought it so hard! But in the end, it hadn't really mattered, cuz he'd opened his eyes to a brand new outlook on life.

"Wow, that really did sting like a bitch." I remember that he'd said this a couple minutes after "waking up." He'd also said something kinda silly. "But like you said, there's no time to recuperate. No rest for the wicked, after all."

The wicked, huh? He'd still perceived me, and himself, as evil. How silly! I would've told him that, but I figured that he'd understand soon enough that there is no good and evil. It all depends what side you're on, and for me, the enemy is Light. If that makes me "evil," so be it.

Now, if there's one thing I'm fairly good at, it's strategizing. That is, besides my dance skills, which are off the hizzle. (?) I'd thought over what we'd do after kitty finally joined me, and I'd come up with several plans to kill his brother. Of course, kitty'd had a better plan than all of mine put together.

"I'll just attack all of them. They won't fight back against me; they're too soft-hearted. Plowing through a couple of them should get Kouji's blood boiling, and then I'll get a real thrill from killing him."

For whatever reason, kitty had wanted a fair fight against his brother, not something he could easily win. Oh well, it hadn't particularly mattered to me how puppy was killed. I just wanted him dead.

So off we'd gone to lure kitty's friends out into the open and kill as many of them as was necessary to get to that stupid puppy!

—

~Kouichi's POV

No. This wasn't right. This hadn't been how things were supposed to go. I wasn't supposed to be able to…feel anything.

At first, it had been like before. There'd been a searing pain. That part was the same. Then I'd felt myself kind of slipping away. That had always been part of the process, too. The only difference, I suppose, was that I'd come back from the aforementioned slipping away. My best guess on why this happened is that this time, my memories hadn't been suppressed. I hadn't been suppressed. At least, not entirely.

Oh, I hadn't been able to take back control of my body. The other side of me, that side I'd never wanted anyone to see, the side I'd suppressed for so long, had taken the reins. But I had still been conscious, somewhere deep inside my head, and I'd had to watch myself say and do all the horrible things that I'd done to my friends.

I'd tried to fight it, but Nina's one powerful little psychopath. Every blow I dealt my friends was another blow to my slowly thinning sanity, because I couldn't do anything to stop myself from nearly killing everyone. If Kouji hadn't gotten to me when he did, I don't know how much longer I would've been able to take it before I snapped.

Of course, I never plan on telling any of this to my friends, especially not Zoe. I suppose it would more fully explain why this is taking so much of a toll on me, but then they'd worry, more so than they already were (once again, especially Zoe), and I didn't want that to happen. They shouldn't have to waste pity on me.

It's not like I hadn't asked for this.

—

~Duskmon's POV

I'd never asked for any of this, so why was it happening to me?

I'd started asking myself that after Ilsemon left. When you really think about it, I'm just as much a victim in this never-ending stream of deaths as the ones I'd killed. After all, killing was all I'd ever known. It was what I was good for. What else could I possibly do that would be useful to anyone? What else could I ever be good for?

So yes, the pity party had been in full swing. Once again, this had helped me connect a little more with Kouichi. (Kouichi: *glares*)

The ground below me had started to blur, and I'd wondered if that meant that I would pass out. Perhaps I would. It would've been a brief reprieve from the aching guilt, at the very least.

However, that's when she came into the picture. Renamon.

I still can't conceive why she'd even bothered with me in the first place. We'd never been particularly close. I wasn't even sure if we'd ever exchanged words at all before she'd tried to…comfort me.

Comforting me? How had the thought even crossed her mind? Hell, if I'd been her, I would've just walked away without a second glance. But she'd approached me, however cautiously. I'd noticed that she'd flinched a bit when I'd…caught sight of her. That little gesture of fear had doubled the loneliness, because I knew that everyone considered me a freak thanks to my appearance. Some Digimon couldn't even bring themselves to look at me.

She hadn't run away, though. She'd actually come closer. Then she'd said my name. "Duskmon."

It had taken me a moment to realize that Renamon was talking to me and another moment to become extremely suspicious. Why, you ask? Well, because no one had ever just "talked" to me before. I hadn't doubted that she had an ulterior motive.

"What?" I'd snapped. At least, I'd tried to snap. I'd been surprised to find that by voice sounded strangled, as if I were being choked. But no one had been choking me.

Renamon's next statement had surprised me more than her behavior. "Why did you let Ilsemon say those things to you? You should have stood up for yourself."

I'd been so shocked by her question that I'd actually replied without a hint of malice in my strangled voice. "I know."

She'd taken a moment to respond to this, but when she finally did, I'd realized how bad I must've looked. "What's wrong?"

Gee, did she want a list? "Why do you care?" I'd growled, growing more and more anxious by the second. I hadn't trusted the…sincerity in her voice. I'd never really trusted anyone before, so why should Renamon have been any different? Why was she so special?

Well, I still don't have a concrete answer for that question, but what she'd said to me next may hold a clue. "Because someone has to."

That answer had caught me completely off guard. Had she really believed that someone had to care about a creature like me? Hell, I'd never even cared about myself. But then I'd gotten a thought; did that mean she cared about me?

I'd lifted my head to analyze her expression, to see if she'd been serious. But as I'd straightened my neck, I'd felt something wet running down my cheeks. That was when the blurriness in my eyes and the choking sensation in my throat had suddenly made sense to me. I'd been…crying.

As if this realization had summoned it, I'd suddenly felt a surge of unbearable grief overtake me. Before I could stop myself, I'd been on my knees in front of her, letting the pain swallow me. It had actually made me feel a bit better, later down the road, to give in to the pain for that one moment. I think humans refer to this as catharsis. God, I've picked up way too much human knowledge from Kouichi…

But at the time it had occurred, I hadn't felt quite so emotionally cleansed. Instead, I'd felt crushed by my own self-inflicted guilt and pain. It was as if a flood gate had opened inside me, drowning my insides and spilling out through my eyes. My breath had come in shallow, convulsive gasps. Renamon explained to me later that I'd been sobbing. Huh. That had been an entirely new concept for me.

"I'm bad." I hadn't actually meant to say that out loud, it had just come out on its own. But it was true. I was bad. I'd always been bad, and I always would be bad, even if I tried to change. It wouldn't work. I understand that now just as much as I understood it then. The fact is, I had never been meant to live this long. I knew that. I wasn't exactly a failed experiment, just one that had been concluded a long time ago. Why had Nina saved me…?

Suddenly, I'd felt arms wrapped around my neck, but it hadn't been because someone was trying to restrain or choke me. Renamon had knelt down to hug me. Hug. Me.

I would've reacted a bit more tensely to this show of pity, but I'd been much too wrapped up in my own thoughts to be self-conscious. If she'd wanted to hug me, she could go the hell ahead.

Then I'd heard her mutter, "If you're bad, then so am I."

—

~Kouichi's POV

I'd been numb with pain by the time Kouji had finally decided to step up and face me. Everything I'd done to everyone before that…well, it can definitely compare to what I'd felt when Kouji fought me, but not by much.

Kira…Dai…Hotaru…Dragramon…Takuya…it was too much. Staring down at Takuya's unconscious form, I'd nearly slipped into a catatonic state myself. Well, I had. My body had still been controlled by my other self.

Why had he gone and done that? What had it solved, trying to stop me? I hadn't wanted to admit it, but I'd become too powerful for the others to handle. It had been the sudden "new evolution surge of power" that's cut almost in half the next time you evolve. (So true.) Also, there was Nina to consider. The only one who could've taken me then was…

"Spirit Evolution!"

"NO!" Of course, my cry had gone unheard, buried deep in the back of my mind. But that hadn't stopped me from trying to break through, even a small bit. "No Kouji, don't! Just don't! Please! I can't hurt you, too! Please!"

I'd stopped once the fighting had started, realizing it was hopeless to try and get through Nina's barrier. I have to admit, once the fight had begun I'd gotten more optimistic. Kouji had been able to hold his own against me, though that shouldn't have come as a surprise. I've always considered us to be pretty evenly matched, and this fight had been no exception. The only thing that had worried me was that Kouji had been…holding back.

"You still don't want to hurt me?" I'd said incredulously, laughing half-crazily to myself. "After all that I just did? No, there's no forgiveness for that. I have to be punished now, to atone for…being myself. Ha, how true! All this time, I should've realized that I can never redeem myself, because I'm me!"

I think I'd gone a little off the deep end at that point. (No kidding.) Past my insane bout of laughter, though, I'd still been able to concentrate on the fight. Useless witty banter had been delivered back and forth, but then Nina had said something that had caught my attention. ~Ellie?~

Ellie? I'd never heard the name before, but the way Nina's barrier had suddenly grown more furious and agitated had given me a good guess. Ellie was Light, Nina's sister. So Kouji had gotten some help. He really had grown just as powerful as me.

"Yes," I'd muttered, smiling crookedly. Well, I would've been, if I'd had a body to smile with. "You'll finally…I won't be able to hurt anyone anymore."

I'd chosen not to dwell on the fact that Kouji would kill me. All that had mattered was that the others would be safe from me. That had been enough. The reality that my life was about to be cut short hadn't really occurred to me until I'd remembered who I'd be leaving behind.

"Kouichi, Shino kissed me."

Zoe. I hadn't forgotten about her, she just hadn't been at the forefront of my thoughts at the time. After all, she hadn't fought me. She admitted later that she'd been afraid to. Afraid of me? Well, I guess I'd been a little scary. Plus, I could never imagine the two of us fighting for real. I wouldn't have let that happen, even if she'd tried to hurt me. Heck, maybe I would've felt better if she HAD kicked my ass.

Anyway, the first thought I'd had was to confirm that she'd spoken. The second thought had been to decipher what she'd said. Shino…kissed…her? This may seem a little mean, but I have to say it; bad timing, Shino. (Seriously.)

In the time it had taken me to get over my shock, the other me had already shrugged off Zoe's claim and continued with the fight. A claim. That was when it had hit me that maybe Zoe had made that up just to distract me, so that Kouji could…but then why had she singled out Shino? We'd all thought that Zoe didn't know about Shino's little crush…but if he'd really…

I have to admit that, for a moment, I'd been furious. "I've been betrayed on all fronts, haven't I?" I'd muttered quietly, anger boiling up inside of me. I'd quickly calmed myself, though. That was exactly what Nina would've wanted, to get me livid enough to have wanted to kill…but it hadn't mattered. My body hadn't been my own anymore.

After my initial fury had died down, I'd managed to feel a bit bad for Shino, and I still do. There'd been a point in time when I'd been in the exact same situation as him, lusting after someone I'd thought I could never have. It's stupid that he should have to go through the same thing, but kissing Zoe…that had been a severe lack of judgment on his part.

I hadn't hated him, though…until I'd turned toward the sound of Zoe's voice again. Well, Zoe certainly had gone the extra mile to distract me, and I know it had killed her to do it. But she'd been desperate, desperate enough to kiss Shino, giving him the one thing he never should have gotten.

Like I said, I can't be the self-sacrificing guy all the time. I have to admit to having about the same reaction as my other half in that situation. "Shino, you bas—"

~KITTY, LOOK OUT!~

Thanks to the fact that I hadn't been in control of my body, I hadn't felt the pain from Kouji's…sorry, but it's kind of true…Light Saber (Yeah!) as much as I would have. The weapon sticking out of my chest hadn't really been holding my attention at the time, though. What I'd been concentrating on was the sudden burst of blinding light breaking through Nina's dark shield.

I'd begun to shrink away from the light, afraid of its wrath. It had suddenly occurred to me that perhaps Kouji hadn't been trying to kill me, that maybe he'd been ordered by this Ellie person to punish me for all that I'd done, to torture me relentlessly in repentance for my sins. He'd provided the gateway for Light so that it could finish me off itself. Well, it wasn't as if I hadn't deserved it.

A girl had begun to walk toward me through the light, taking slow, even steps. Her appearance had surprised me about as much as Nina's had. She'd had the same youthful look about her, only she'd worn a yellow, flowery dress and her short hair was bright white and pulled into two pigtails. I wonder why they both pretend to be so sweet and innocent…then again, maybe they're not faking it, and they really are this childish.

Either way, I'd stood steadfast (with the metaphorical body I'll refer to here) as she'd approached, ready to take my punishment. That's why it had surprised me when, instead of trying to torture me or whatever, Ellie had smiled brightly and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's alright, Kouichi," she'd murmured soothingly, trying to…comfort me? (I'd half expected her to call me kitty, too…) "You're okay now. Everything's fine."

Under normal circumstances, I would've been able to shove Ellie away and wallow in my own misery for awhile, as I'd done with the others. But…she'd been different. I'd felt that I'd been missing something since Duskmon had helped Nina infiltrate my mind, and at that moment I'd truly felt the gravity of what they'd done. They'd purged me of Light. They'd taken her, Ellie, away from me. And with her, they'd taken Kouji.

"Ellie…" I'd said softly, wrapping my arms protectively around her. At that moment, I'd vowed that I'd never let Nina take Kouji and, in essence, Ellie, away from me again. I'd fight for them, tooth and nail, because they were my remedy, the one thing that could keep me sane, dancing around with my unstable element. That had always been the case. I'd finally understood that. Kouji had always kept me from going crazy, and maybe vice versa.

Ellie had chuckled quietly, and then stepped back with that same bright, relieved smile stuck on her face, blue eyes shining. "Thank you for the chivalry, but I have my Warrior." Really, do these two read minds? (Occasionally.) "Your duty is still to protect…"

"Kitty!"

Startled, I'd turned to find that Nina had still been in my head, quivering in a dark corner of my mind. Quivering? No, she'd only been quivering at the copious amount of light that had been shining on my metaphorical world. She'd glared with hate at Light herself, at Ellie.

"Nina?" While I'd been staring warily at Nina, Ellie had stepped around me in order to see her sister, probably for the first time in decades. Despite her suddenly tear-filled eyes, Ellie had managed a smile. "We haven't seen each other in so long…Nina, I really missed…"

"Shut up!" Nina had snapped back a reply that had even startled me with its malice. She truly did hate her sister with every fiber of her being, though I hadn't been able to imagine why, now that I'd met her. Glare fixed on Ellie, Nina had continued, "Don't you dare try to sweet talk me, Ellie. I see what you're doing. You're trying to take kitty away from me again!"

"No, that's not what I'm doing!" Ellie had protested, desperately trying to get her paranoid sister to see reason. "I would never have interfered if you hadn't forced me to get involved in this! Not only did you try to kill my Warrior, but you were making Kouichi do things that he just didn't want to do!"

"He chose this." Nina's next argument had caused me to flinch, because I'd known she'd been right. I'd done all of this to myself…

Ellie, having seen my distress, had placed a hand comfortingly on my shoulder. "If Kouichi chose this, then why did you have to keep his REAL self at bay this whole time?"

The look in Nina's eyes had changed from angry to furious in the span of two seconds. "How dare you talk about him like you know him! I created the Warrior of Darkness! Light is such a high and mighty element that it thinks it knows everything, but you don't know kitty, Ellie, and you don't know me! So go away and leave us alone, because we don't need you!"

"No." That was when I'd finally entered the argument, fists clenched. Had Nina really just said all of that, that Light didn't know anything, that it was in any way pompous, that we didn't need it? Well, I'd needed it, and I wouldn't let it go again.

I'd raised my head to glare at Nina, then I'd continued, "You're the one that doesn't know anything, Nina. Did you really think it was okay to force me to kill my own brother against my will? Did you ever consider that I might not take it so well? Did you ever once ask yourself whether this was the right solution? No, because YOU'RE the one that thinks you know everything, when you don't know anything at all! So YOU get the hell out of my head, because I don't need you!"

I have to admit, I'd felt pretty damn good after that speech. It had been like my long-awaited moment of payback against Nina for what she'd nearly caused to happen. The high had quickly worn off, though, when I'd seen Nina's reaction.

I hadn't noticed while I'd been chewing her out, but Nina had been staring at me with wide, scared eyes throughout my outburst. Those wide eyes had filled up with tears by the end. I really hate making people cry, even people as bad as Nina. Then again, I don't consider Nina to be bad, not really. She's just…confused.

That's why I'd truly wanted to take back what I'd said when I'd seen Nina's tears, but I'd held my tongue, keeping my expression cool. I may have felt momentary pity for her, but that hadn't meant I was ready to forgive her. Not yet.

"So…you don't want to be…my kitty?" Nina had asked quietly between her sniffles, looking absolutely miserable, so miserable that Ellie had almost run over to comfort her.

I'd held Ellie back, not taking my impassive gaze off Nina. I think she'd gotten her answer from the look I'd given her, because Nina had slowly started to disappear into the darkness surrounding her, glaring murderously at her sister as she went.

That was the last thing I'd seen before I'd opened my eyes, back in the forest. Back to the pain.

—

~Nina's POV

"So YOU get the hell out of my head, because I don't need you!"

What kitty had said to me made me sad, but what had really scared me was the way he'd said it. I'd never heard such malice in his voice, such complete hatred…for me. What did I do? I'd thought that for a second, but the answer was pretty obvious.

It had been Ellie and that stupid puppy who had tainted kitty again, taking him away from me. He'd finally been mine, my kitty, my loyal Warrior, a tangible part of me. But that had never mattered to Ellie. She'd sought to steal my happiness for her own selfish purposes.

Well, I'd never really figured out why Ellie wanted kitty so badly. I'd always assumed it was a power trip thingy, but she'd never made kitty do anything for her. At least, not yet.

I'd wandered around mine and Ellie's plain of existence for awhile. It's a little hard to describe this place unless you've been there like me and Ellie, but it's kinda like floating through the real world, only you see everything. Well, not everything, but the darkness in everyone I pass, and the opposite for Ellie. No one sees us, though. Not until we find catalysts strong enough in our element to let us borrow their power and manifest on the physical plain. We haven't found anybody powerful enough for this yet, by the way. If I ever tried borrowing kitty's power to that extent, it'd probably kill him within a few minutes. Oh well. Maybe someday.

But anyway, I'd been wandering around until I'd remembered that I wasn't all alone, that I'd still had Dusky. He'd never be the remedy I sought in kitty, but he was close enough. His connection with kitty was what had drawn me to him initially, and then made me want to save him. Since I'd brought him into physical creation, I feel responsible for him, so of course he'd come to the forefront of my thoughts after Ellie had kicked me out of kitty's head. I'd wondered how he was doing without me, since I seemed to be the only one he'd ever felt at all comfortable around, and I'd always been in his head. And you guys call ME crazy. (But you are crazy.) Yeah, I know! (Oh, Nina…)

So I'd traveled back to the RMS, floating unseen through the halls until I'd found Dusky sitting in a hall on the third floor, looking kinda…sad? Aw, had he missed me this much already? Poor Dusky! I'd swallowed back my own problems for a second and tried to focus on Dusky's melancholy look as I'd entered his mind with ease.

~What's the matter, Dusky?~

—

~Duskmon's POV

Nina's sudden question had caught me completely off guard, something that's not easy to do. But then again, I'd never expected her to come back, so hearing her voice in my head again had merited this reaction. Still, I'd felt foolish afterward.

"Holy shit!" I'd exclaimed, snapping my head up too quickly and slamming it against the wall behind me. Not even I can be smooth all the time. (Alucard can!) Madjack, what does that have to do with anything? (…Crispin Freeman!) Uh huh…

Anyway, after the pain in the back of my skull had subsided, I'd been able to concentrate enough to listen to Nina's babbled apology. (Fun fact: Nina and Ellie get harder to hear when the person hosting them has a headache or any similar ailment, unless Nina and Ellie are the cause.)

~I'm sorry, Dusky! I didn't think you'd get all spooked like that! Are you okay?~

I'd sighed, a little embarrassed by Nina's apologies. "It's alright, Nina, I'm fine. You just…surprised me."

Nina had accepted my explanation without making any jokes (Maybe SOME Digidestined I'm acquainted with could learn to use the same restraint…) and had moved right on to her original question. ~So what's the matter, Dusky? You looked sad before.~

I hadn't realized that I'd still been wearing my emotions so plainly. In truth, I'd been brooding over my chat with Renamon and, I have to admit, I'd been wishing that she'd come back soon from her meeting with Ilsemon. If Nina had seen those troubled feelings so easily, I'd have to be more careful and use better control in the future…then, all of a sudden, it had hit me. Nina had come back. My remedy for these painful feelings had returned.

But…the veil hadn't come with her.

"What…?" But I'd thought that Nina was the reason that…obviously, I'd guessed wrong. At least, partially wrong. I'd supposed that Nina had been keeping me shielded from my damned conscience (as Renamon had called it), and that was true. But when she'd left, she'd broken whatever spell she'd cast over me, exposing me to the utter turmoil raging inside me. She'd broken my innocence (polluted as I was, I'd been innocent to feelings of guilt or pain for what I'd done) by…abandoning me.

God, why had I acted like such a pitiful child? Abandoned…I'd known that Nina had planned to leave me as soon as she'd gotten what she'd wanted. It hadn't been a surprise, yet I'd still felt crushed by loneliness. I guess I'd felt a little better having Nina back, though having my veil back would have been nice as well. But I'd decided to reconcile myself with the fact that it was gone, and I'd been thrust into the real world.

~What what?~ Nina had asked in response to my earlier statement. Once again, I hadn't realized I'd spoken out loud. I'd have to learn to work on that.

"Nothing, just…thinking out loud," I'd replied slowly and, in my opinion, pretty unconvincingly. However, Nina had bought it again. A second later, I'd realized why she hadn't been pressing me for any details on anything I'd said.

~Aren't you wondering why I'm back?~ Of course. She'd wanted to tell her story. Well, I'd had time to listen, so I'd let her continue.

—

~Kouichi's POV

The guilt I'd felt after giving in to Nina doesn't compare to anything I've felt before. It had been agonizing.

All those things I'd said to my friends…all the things I'd done to them…they hate me now, they have to…

That's what I'd thought, at least. The fact that they'd been too wary to approach me right away (that's what they'd told me later) had been a real blessing. If they'd all done what Kouji had done, showing their forgiveness toward me so quickly, I don't know how I would've reacted. It wouldn't have been good, though. Not that what I'd said to Kouji had been handling it well. "Not now…not after this. You can't forgive me now."

I'd believed that so completely that I hadn't made a single move to follow the others when they'd started to head back toward the tunnels. JP had sent Tommy over to get me, since he'd seemed like the best candidate for the job at the time. It couldn't have been Kouji…not even Zoe…

He'd tugged on my sleeve for a few moments, then he'd actually grabbed my arm and started pulling on it to see if he'd be able to move me. He hadn't succeeded, so he'd resorted to trying to push me toward the others. I'd known that they wouldn't give up, so I'd allowed Tommy to shove me forward after a minute or so of his struggling. He probably still thinks he'd managed to move me on his own. Might as well let him think that, I guess.

I think you all know what happened next. A big guilt trip. No use denying the fact that I'd been in full-on angst mode. (Yay, Kouichi made a joke at his own expense!) Uh huh.

I'd felt better after the others had spoken to me, but we all know it hadn't been enough to really make me get over this incident. It'll get better over time, though. I know that from experience.

So, if there's really any lesson to be learned from this, I'd say it's never dump your problems on someone else. Right Lowemon? (Lowemon: …I wouldn't say I dumped them on you…)

—

~Nina's POV

~If kitty doesn't want his friends hurt, then they don't have to be! All I need to do is liberate them as well, then have them kill Kouji!~

I am an absolute genius! Maybe I'd been a little slow, since I only recently came up with the plan, but it's genius! Dusky totally agreed!

"I suppose that is a decent plan," Dusky had muttered thoughtfully. (I wonder why people tend to talk to me out loud a lot when I'm in their heads…)

~The more the merrier, right?~ I'd giggled, more excited than ever before. I know this'll be it! The perfect plan, the thing that will finally get kitty to accept me! I mean, he hadn't wanted to kill his friends before, so that obviously meant he'd be lonely without them. I can understand that feeling, so why not let them in the loop, too? I don't have a vendetta against any of them, after all, just the stupid puppy!

I think all my giggling had started to get on Dusky's nerves, cuz he'd interrupted it after about a minute. "So I suppose I should go let Ilsemon know not to kill the kids," he'd said, getting quickly to his feet.

His sudden decision to see Ilsemon right away had been a surprise, since Dusky hates her. (She is kinda mean to him. I wish they could both get along!) I hadn't known what to make of his behavior at the time, so I'd just shrugged it off and continued to happily daydream.

Kitty and I, finally together, for good this time. He could have his friends, his girlfriend. That was fine. As long as I had him again, I could live with his attachment to them. I could bear the fact that he may end up ignoring me a lot so he could hang out with them. That would be okay.

Because I'd found out the hard way that living without kitty was like living without a soul. It was like being dead. But the thing about death is, I'm a non-physical being. I can't die.

I can't get rid of my loneliness. Not without my kitty.

—

~Duskmon's POV

I think if Nina hadn't been preoccupied with her latest crazy plan at the time, she would've wanted to know why I'd so readily decided to go relay her message to Ilsemon. Normally, I would've tried to put it off as long as possible so I wouldn't have to speak to that psycho bitch. I'm glad that Nina is easily distracted, because I'd done it to see Renamon again.

There's no use denying it; Renamon has a hold over me now. At first I was a bit wary of this "friendship" with her, but I'm starting to…like it, oddly enough. Huh. Maybe I'd been giving the concept of friendship too hard a time. It's not so bad. That could just be because I don't surround myself with idiots, like others I know. (Kouichi: They're not idiots…usually.)

Besides, like I said, I'm convinced that Renamon had saved my life, not because she had to, but because she'd wanted to. She…cared about me, which is more than I can say for everyone else. If I have to go through the rest of my life with this "conscience" and these "feelings," I'd rather go through it with her than with anyone else.

I remember something I'd said to Kouichi, during the fight that had set this whole chain of events in motion. He'd commented on how underhanded my tactics had been, how I'd used his relationship with his Zoe to get to him. You'd do the same if there were someone I cared about here.

I'd said it as a kind of joke. There'd been no one I'd cared about then. He wouldn't have been able to use anything against me, even if he'd wanted to.

Well, it looks like now I have someone. My Renamon.

—

madjack89: Alright, I think that's enough exposition for one one-shot! Any final thoughts, guys?

Kouichi: Not really.

Duskmon: No.

Nina: I can't wait till I get to carry out my plan!

Kouichi: Uh, Madjack, Nina's not really going to…you know, is she?

madjack89: We'll see. Alright, I hope you liked your present, GB! And I hope everyone else liked the story, too! See ya laters!

Nina: Bye!

Edit: Review reply for Goggleheadgal: Though you'll probably never see this, I feel the need to clarify some points you addressed. Firstly, fanfiction is essentially about fans meddling around with the plot of an anime to suit their tastes, so I don't really understand how I'm being "selfish." Secondly, I am well aware that Nina has the mentality of a five-year-old. That's the point. If you feel that my stories are "rubbish" then, by all means, don't read them. Thank you for giving me your honest opinion. I appreciate that. However, perhaps next time you could try not to insult the story you are criticizing and try to give some constructive criticism. That would be much more helpful to the writer in order for him or her to improve.