Author's Note
Ok this should be the last change to the prologue. I'm trying to work on another story with Lime The Cat and my brain won't come up with ideas for this story so it will be awhile until I update.
Bored, bored and lonely. Why was I lonely…? Ah yes, because he abandoned me-he wants to "settle down" and have a family. Why would he want a family? Are the cases-the thrill not enough for him anymore? He said everything would be the same-we'd still go on cases as if he wasn't married but he lied. Is this how Moriarty felt? Bored, separated, lonely.
Hmm... I need something to do… something interesting… I could expand my homeless network, maybe dabble in the criminal world, though Mycroft wouldn't like me dabbling there would he? But I've never really cared about what Mycroft thinks about what I do anyway, so why start now? I wouldn't be bored if Moriarty survived, if that day hadn't happened-the one where I was sent in to a self-proclaimed exile and the most interesting criminal I have met killed himself.
I can feel them, dark thoughts, thoughts of drugs, committing crimes, murdering, thoughts that are so familiar… I lock them away quickly." They're starting to creep back into my mind again. Taunting me, pushing me closer over the line that separates genius and insanity. Normally John or Lestrade would help keep them at bay, with companionship or a new interesting case. Now the only one who cares anymore is Mycroft, if what you can call what Mycroft does caring. Even if that's only because we're related. It's getting harder to keep my thoughts at bay. Since John now has a family with Mary, Lestrade was fired for letting him in on so many cases, Molly and Timothy? Tony? Tom! That's his name, they got married, and Mrs. Hudson's health has started to decline, so she spends most of her time at the hospital or in bed. I have no one to help me keep the thoughts at bay or remind me why I stay on the side of the angels anymore.
Sometimes he wanders the streets at night in the lesser part of town trying to do anything to stop the mind numbing boredom. He would create elaborate plans to break into the banks, kill government officials, or bring a nation to its knees. His network trusts him more and has grown because of it. That being the only good thing to come from his wandering. He can tell Mycroft is becoming worried about him starting drugs again or wandering to the less scrupulous side of London.. There are many times when he wonders what would've happened if he had ever joined Moriarty. It would be interesting, helping to pull of elaborate bank heists or complex murders; all without getting caught. Now, he is all alone and it's only a matter of time before he cracks. His mind palace can no longer keep these thoughts locked up. His resistance is becoming weaker every day. He can tell; it's going to be soon. He wonders how much havoc and chaos he will cause when it happens.
And now it is only a waiting game; until he leaves the side of the angels and explores the darkness that he has kept locked inside him for so long.