"Just one more second"
The morning sun began to gently creep over the immaculate Wall Maria, and started the day for the sleepy town of Shinagashima. The only creatures to be heard were the birds in the sky and the dogs in the streets. The town's residents, in splendid isolation from the hell beyond the Walls, continued their cherished slumber as if there was nothing to look forward to. In a world entrenched in Aristocracy, and the acceptance of knowing their place, few people felt like their lives had much of a destiny in them. They more than content to take a simple job, raise a family, grow old and spend their whole lives contained within humanity's last bastion. To them, it wasn't emasculating, or humiliating; to most people, it was just the way it was.
Of course, Eren Yeager was not 'most people'. He'd always made it a point to wake up early in the mornings since, of course, when he was going to be out with the Survey Corp, long sleep was not going to be an option. This resolute commitment had not gone down well with his mother. Eren loved her, but there was no force in heaven, hell, or anywhere in between that could stop him from joining the Survey Corp. He needed that conviction, as all around him he received near universal mockery. Mocked when his bright eyes looked excitedly at the ragged masses of the Survey Corp, mocked when he spoke about the great wonders beyond the wall, mocked when he no longer wanted to be a common man. He had received a lot of criticism, but it was always the worst coming from the people he loved. He had begun to turn inward, shutting himself off from others in reckless pursuit of his dream. Very few people could even give him pause for thought; one of those was Mikasa. Not only did he love her as family, he respected her. He was stunned at the transformation, even if a little depressed at the circumstances, to see her become such a ferocious fighter. He didn't want to admit it, but there was a tinge of jealousy at her reputation.
Eren began his morning stretches, the routine having been taken from a Survey Corp member who told him just so he would leave him alone. The sun was up, but the people weren't. He was faintly annoyed at everyone else's laziness, but he didn't let it get to him. As he opened the door to peer into the hall, he was startled to see Mikasa up and fully dressed, as if she was waiting for him. There was the pink shawl, white dress and of course, the red scarf that she was so reluctant to hand over to 'Auntie' for the wash. She got up early, but not this early. That's when he began to see some worrying signs. She seemed unusually worried, and it looked like she didn't get much sleep. Eren, trying to forge his masculine identity, had been bemused by his adoptive sister's constant attempts to protect him, but this desperation struck him as…wrong.
"Eren?! Are you alright?!" asked Mikasa in distress.
"Huh? What are you talking about? Of course I'm alright," came Eren's baffled reply.
"Oh…" Mikasa could detect the annoyance in his voice and began to blush in regret. Her silence registered yet more confusion from Eren.
"Hey! What's going on? Did something happen?"
She awkwardly raised a hand to the back of her neck, unable to look her adoptive brother in the eye. "No…nothing's the matter."
"Then what's got you up so early?"
There was another brief pause, before an equally evasive reply. "N-nothing."
With a shrug, Eren could see there was nothing more to do. By the time his mother and father had likewise arisen, he thought that would be the end of it. However, during breakfast between the four of them, he could still see Mikasa in some form of anguish. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't look anyone in the eye, and spoke in a much quieter voice than usual. Both Eren's mother and father were no fools and could easily sense the anxiety coming from the child. They'd done a lot to make her feel welcome in their home and they would be damned if they'd just let her wallow like this for a second longer than she had to.
"Uh, Eren?" his mother awkwardly asked.
"Yeah?"
"Could you come and help me just for a second?" she asked as best she could to avoid arousing suspicion.
For all his supposedly enhanced warrior skills, Eren could be painfully obtuse. When both he and his mother entered his room and his mother closed the door behind them with a conspiratorial glance, he was genuinely surprised she didn't want actual, physical help.
"Eren," she asked with a tinge of worry, "did something happen to Mikasa yesterday?"
His eyes widened at the subject choice, but a quick search of the brain came up with nothing. "Huh? No. I don't think anything happened yesterday. We just played around with Hannes and Armin was all."
"So no one was making fun of her or anything?"
The question made Eren smile nostalgically. "No one's tried since that one kid made fun of her eyelids!"
While her son may have been a fan of intense, physical violence, Carla Yeager was still bemused at the memory, not to mention the anger from the boy's parents about the state she left him in; thank God he didn't insult Eren or it might have been worse. However, there were far more important matters on the table. "So you don't know why she's acting this way all of a sudden?"
"Mikasa? Eh, she's been pretty quiet since…well, you know. I'm sure it's nothing."
His mother didn't seem convinced. "Eren, if it's okay, would you just…be a little gentler on her today? I still think something's the matter."
Though he didn't buy it, Eren knew there was nothing objectionable about what she was asking him to do. It was a little strange though; usually it was Mikasa getting told to make sure her brother didn't end up in any trouble. "Sure, mom."
His mother smiled and gently rubbed her son's hair in thanks. Eren slightly grimaced; a head patting was not something real men got. His mother, however, was worthy of an exception. "That's my boy," said Carla Yeager.
As the two returned to the table, Eren could see his father trying to bring Mikasa out of her shell, to no avail. Now that it was pointed out to him, yes, there was definitely something wrong with her. She seemed a far more timid, uneasy and desperate. She was curling into herself, and focused intently on Eren whenever he came into sight. She'd had her eyes on him for a long time, but now it was so obvious that even Eren began to notice it. Another thing he noticed were her hands, which were holding onto her scarf by the ends. She was holding them desperately tightly, as if she was clinging onto something. Her breathing was frayed and she seemed totally distant from everyone. If Eren couldn't fix up his sister, how in the name of Creation was he going to fix up the whole world?
"Hey, Mikasa! Come on outside! Maybe Armin is about!"
"Um…okay, Eren," came Mikasa's reluctant reply, as she shuffled towards him. Even her way of walking seemed much more restrained than before.
Eren walked exited the main door and waited for her. After a noticeable pause, so much so that Eren turned back to look in, Mikasa came out, shielding her eyes from the sun.
As he took his first steps towards Armin's house, he could hear faint protests behind him, so faint that he could barely hear them at all. He turned around to see Mikasa having raised one hand, like she was asking a question, but she was still too embarrassed to ask it.
"Yeah, Mikasa? What is it?" Eren asked, walking back to her.
"Eren, if it's okay…" she asked, pausing before she delivered the crucial line, "can I hold your hand on the way there?"
His eyes flashed wide, and he almost fell over in shock. "Wh-wh, you want me to what? I…" he protested, before the order his mother gave him rang loudly in his ear. His mother told him to be nicer to his adoptive sister, and that's just what he was going to do, no matter how hard it was. Again, he imagined how he could possibly slay legions of Titans if he couldn't even hold a girl's hand for a few minutes. With obvious reluctance, he recanted.
"Okay," he sighed. "I'll hold your hand on the way there."
Eren grimaced at how awkward it was as she slowly reached out to hold his wrist, praying that it soon be over before anyone spotted them. Mikasa's breathing seemed to slow, and she seemed more relaxed, even if she did seem to blush a bit. They began the walk over to Armin's house, which wasn't very far at all, but with the chronic awkwardness Eren was feeling, one second felt like ten thousand. While he normally wasn't afraid of bullies that much knowing that Mikasa was always there to bail him out if things got too rough, as embarrassing as that was, with her being in the state she was in, it didn't seem like she was really in the state of mind for a fight. The idea of being caught mortified Eren. Not that he didn't like Mikasa, or that she wasn't pretty, of course; it was just that he didn't want people to get the wrong idea.
After they were around halfway there, Eren began to relax, as it seemed like he could indeed make it without getting caught by any other kids from town. In some way, he was almost enjoying himself. He assured himself that it was only because he was completing the objective. Unfortunately, while it wasn't kids they ran into, they did indeed turn the corner and came into sight of an old woman. With one quick glance, she saw them and they froze in their tracks, Eren in horror, Mikasa startled, though making sure she still held his wrist.
Then came the killer word from the senior: "Aww!"
If Mikasa's blushing was bad when she held held her adoptive brother's hand, Eren's face could only have changed colour as quickly if red paint was tossed on him. Words failed him; every protest he garbled couldn't string two syllables together. The sound of that word the old woman said was like a nail through his ears. The last thing in this world he wanted to be was 'cute', and there could be no greater insult than to deny the masculinity he desperately craved. He was so apoplectic at her words that he forgot his order, threw of Mikasa's hand away and marched into a nearby, deserted alley. Mikasa was shocked and ran after her enraged brother, while the old woman merely shrugged and found it cuter still.
Eren leaned against the crumbling walls, still seething because of what the woman said to him. While Mikasa would usually defend him from jibes, this wasn't really an 'insult' so it went beyond her warrant. As she ran up to Eren to try and calm him down, she ran into his full rage. Not even the fact of her being his adoptive sister was going to stop him.
"Just stop, Mikasa!" he demanded with furrowed brow, causing Mikasa to leap back. "I knew I shouldn't have held hands with you! Damn it! What's the big idea, anyway? Why are you being so weird all of a sudden?!"
Mikasa froze up. Everything question Eren hissed at her felt like a knife through the heart. She was mostly immune to insults, but when it came from the ones she loved, there was no way it wouldn't tear at her soul She slowly hunched over and began to tremble, quivering in shame, before placing her hands over her face, silently pleading him to stop.
Though he may have been annoyed, Eren could now tell that something was seriously wrong. His fury quickly vanished, as the gravity of the situation became obvious. "Huh, Mikasa?" he asked with palpable concern, as he placed a hand to her shoulder.
Suddenly, Mikasa leapt her arms around Eren, giving him a desperately tight hug. Eren was shocked, too shocked to even return the embrace, but could tell from her face being pressed against his shoulder that she was crying. He was too stunned to do anything. Mikasa was always so stern and unmovable, so much so that Eren was jealous. To see her in this state wasn't merely sad; it was outright horrifying.
"Eren…" she muttered between her sobs, "I'm just so happy you're still alive."
"A-alive? But...of course I'm alive! No one can kill me until I see what's beyond the Walls!" he laughed, hoping it would cheer her up. Instead, she hugged him tighter, and her crying only got harder.
"Hey, Mikasa," Eren asked, now clearly worried, "please tell me what's wrong."
She had been tiptoeing around it all day. She thought that if she just ignored it for long enough, that it would go away on its own, and yet it didn't. Finally, there was no escape from what she had to do. She took a deep breath, and tried like hell to stop her voice from breaking.
"Last night…I had a nightmare. It was back then, with those people who killed my parents. It all happened just like it did in real life. I saw them die, I was taken away and I saw you coming to save me. You were being strangled against the wall and you were telling me to fight back. You kept telling me, and I didn't do anything. You were dying and there I was doing nothing. Then I snapped, and I knew that I wanted to save you…but nothing happened. Even though I tried so, so hard to try and move, I couldn't…I had to watch helplessly as you died. You stopped moving and you slid down the walls lifelessly. It was so real, that even when I woke up, I thought it was real. I couldn't go back to sleep I was so out of my mind. I went outside your door, but I was so scared to open it, because if you were dead, there would be nothing left for me. So I waited, and waited, and waited. I just prayed that it was all in my head. I would have stood outside that door forever if that's how I'd ever see you again. Even when I knew you were alive, I still kept seeing your body after I let you die. I wanted to hold your hand because it proved you were alive; I was so relieved whenever I held onto you. I'm sorry for being so stupid today, for being so selfish. Back then, I still watched as you got strangled, and if I'd waited just one more second, you would have died. I guess I've always been like that since I came here. Please, Eren, forgive-"
Before she could even finish her sentence, Eren returned her hug with even more commitment than Mikasa had given her own. Cut off mid-sentence, Mikasa was utterly speechless at her adoptive brother's embrace, but in a flash, all her worries seemed to disappear. Eren put his head on her shoulder, because he was a trying to be a man, and he didn't want her to see the tears rolling down his cheeks. Awash in shame for the way he treated her when she merely wanted to see if he was safe, Eren couldn't stand the guilt, and would do anything to rectify.
"E-Eren…" came Mikasa's shocked voice. She knew he was crying, but she didn't want to say anything.
"Now you listen here, Mikasa," Eren growled, trying to hide the breaking in his voice. "I'm not dead now, I'm not going to be die before I see beyond the Walls, and I'm not going to die when I see beyond the Walls either. I'm going to have a long, happy life, and you will too. I don't give a damn what other kids say, I don't give a damn what adults say, I don't give a damn what you say. Don't you ever say those things about yourself again! You are one of the nicest, strongest, most incredible people I've ever met. You've had such horrible things happen to you, and yet you're still here. I don't know what I'd do if I lost mom and dad. I hope I never know what that's like. But if I can be even half as strong as you are, I know I can make it. And you are not a burden. Me, mom, and dad, we all love you, and that will never change. We thank God every day that you are still alive…me especially. You make the fights so much easier!" he laughed, as a smile grew on his face.
Eren pulled his head back to look her in the face. Mikasa wanted to look away in embarrassment, but the compassion on his face kept drawing her eyes towards his.
"You saved me, Mikasa. To hell with what the dream told you; when it mattered, you saved me. You sent that bastard straight to Hell. And you're the one trying to apologise to me? You've had a hard enough life without me yelling at you like that. I'm the one who's sorry. Mom's right, I'm too hotheaded. I was being so stupid, acting like I had it so tough just because I had to hold your hand. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't there to set me straight. You're a better defence than the Walls! If you could do all that, you can kick some scrawny nightmare's ass!"
Slowly, Mikasa found the courage to smile. It was a rare sight to see, but Eren cherished every time he could see her this way. To hear those words reach her ears made her feel like the darkness was finally behind her, and that she couldn't hate anyone or anything, even if she tried. After wiping her eyes with her sleeves, Mikasa began to hug tighter, pressing her cheek against his, one leg raised behind her. Initially hesitant, the glowing warmth from Mikasa's cheek to his own put Eren at ease.
"Thank you, Eren. You don't know what that meant to me."
"Ah!" chuckled Eren, oblivious to her final point, "There's plenty more where that came from." He pointed to the entrance of the alley. "Come on! Armin's waiting for us!"
To Mikasa's surprise, Eren stretched out his hand for her to hold. She let go of her hug and then looked back at Eren, the blushing getting worse than what it was before.
"Uh, Eren, you don't have to hold my hand anymore. It's fine, I'm alright now."
"No, no!" he smiled. "For the one who saved my life, I think it's okay to hold their hand every now and again!"
"You won't mind other people?"
Eren looked into Mikasa's eyes, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You're family. If it makes you happy, I don't care what anyone says."
He took her hand without hesitation. Mikasa was shocked at his curtness, but couldn't have been happier. As they held hands, they looked each other lovingly in their eyes. They walked into the light of the streets, practically skipping. Eren didn't even look out to see if there was anyone else looking at them. He realised that simply holding her hand like this was its own reward.
"You still don't mind if other people see you?" Mikasa asked, just to remove the last bit of fear from her mind. She wouldn't change this moment for all the gold in the world.
Eren shook his head with a laugh. "Don't worry, if anyone makes fun of us, I'll protect you, Mikasa."
Mikasa gave a rare guffaw. "No, I'll protect you, Eren."
Eren smiled. "I guess we'll just have to protect each other."
THE END