The Squid Sisters' Shenanigans

The Squid Sisters: the most famous Inklings in all of Inkopolis. Everyone knows the duo of performers, but not everyone knows what sort of craziness the hyperactive Callie and the lazy Marie commonly get into while they're off the air...

Whether the two cousins are competing in a turf war together or causing trouble for their manager, they'll be sure to make a mess in this hilarious collection of one-shots about the Squid Sisters' "normal" lives!

Disclaimer:

The Squid Sisters and all other such Splatoon-related content are the property of Nintendo. I own nothing. (Obviously!)

A "Friendly" Competition

Narrated by Callie

So, Marie and I had some time off of work today, so we, like, decided to play a few rounds of turf war together! Fun, right? It's been awhile since we last competed together.

We got to Inkopolis Tower and I was all, like; "This is going to be AWESOME, Marie! With my roller and your charger, there ain't no one who can beat us! Squid Sisters forever! The ultimate battle-duo of battling duos! No one can match our battle-duo-ness! Let's show them all what the Squid Sisters are made of!"

Marie's just, like, y'know, being Marie. She's like; "I don't think 'battle-duo-ness' is a word, Callie..."

And I'm like; "Whatev's! The point is; you know we're going to win this together! I don't care if they pair the competitors two against six! When the Squid Sisters fight together, we ALWAYS win!"

And Marie's like; "Except for when we don't..."

And I'm like; "Right, but those times don't count, 'cause then we'd have a really bad record."

Marie just rolled her eyes about something; the kind of eye-roll she tends to do whenever she just heard some idiot say something totally stupid.

Which is kinda weird, now that I think about it, since I was right there next to her, so I would've heard it too if someone nearby did say something stupid... I wonder what that eye-roll was all about, then..?

Anyways, when we went into battle, we ended up at Arowana Mall, and the teams were Green vs. Blue. I'm like; "Look, Marie! We're on the Green team! Your favorite color! ...Uh, Marie? ...Marie?!" I looked around at my teammates; there was a guy with a Splattershot, another guy with a Slosher, and a girl with an Inkbrush... But Marie was nowhere to be found!

Then I looked at the screen and saw Marie on the Blue team! It never occurred to me that we might end up on opposite teams!

I mean; sure, it's happened plenty of times before, but I wasn't expecting it to happen this time! I hadn't been so shocked to see Marie and I put on opposite teams since, like, the last time it happened! Seriously, who would have seen this coming?!

"Oh, well," I thought. Marie and I are BFFs; we might be on opposite teams again, but it's not like she would splat me, right? She knows I hate it when she does that!

So I thought we'd just have a friendly competition and only splat the other Inklings and not each other. ...At least not until the last few seconds of the battle when I'd surprise her with a friendly splat from behind while she least expects it. (Mwahahaha!)

Boy, did she prove me wrong!

As the battle started, I went running ahead with my Krak-On Splat Roller, inking up a trail of...well...ink, of course! Then, out of nowhere, as I got toward the center of the battlefield, a blast of blue ink splatted me!

As I waited to re-spawn, I looked to see who the jerk was that splatted me...

And wouldn't you know it?! It was Marie!

Waving to me with a smirk on her face as she watched me get sent back to the spawn-point from the puddle of blue ink where she splatted me!

Traitor!

One of my teammates had also gotten splatted and sent back to the spawn-point with me. I'm like; "How could she do this to me?! I thought we were BFFs! What kind of BFF just splats you like that without even letting you get the chance to betray her first?!"

My teammate just gave me a weird look for no reason as I said that. I don't know why people always look at me all awkwardly like that, but I've gotten used to it enough that I don't really think anything of it anymore.

Then I thought; "Maybe she was just getting caught up in the moment and didn't realize that it was me she just splatted? She probably just hasn't figured out yet that we're on opposite teams and hasn't been paying attention to who she's splatting. That girl can be so oblivious sometimes!"

So after I re-spawned, I made my way back to her. And when I got close enough to speak to her I called out; "Hey, Marie! We ended up on opposite teams again!"

And then Marie calls out back to me, and she's like; "So I've noticed!" and then; BAM! She splats me again!

Can you believe it?! What a cold move!

As I re-spawned, I'm like; "Okay, Marie... If that's the way you're gonna be, then I'm just gonna be that way, too! Two can play at that game! It is on like Donkey Kong!"

This time, I went running back at Marie with full speed...ready to splat her hard for her betrayal!

I shouted; "Watch out, Marie! Now I'm going to be the one to SPLAT_!"

And before I could even finish that sentence; BAM! She cuts me off and splats me in the face again!

Oh, how I hate being interrupted!

As soon as I re-spawned, I headed straight for Marie once again. As I got close, I yelled; "Here I come! You and your gray hair are going down, Grandma!" and I rushed straight towards her with my roller!

And then; BAM! She splats me again!

I'm like; "How does she keep doing that?! That's the fourth time in a row that she splatted me!" As I re-spawned, I decided that maybe I should try being a little bit more sneaky this time and not yell out when I get near her again. So as I headed for Marie again, I approached her more quietly...

I sneaked up behind her while she was targeting another one of my teammates... She didn't even notice me standing over her shoulder with my roller in hand ready to splat her!

This was my big chance! My chance for revenge! Looks like approaching her quietly really paid off!

And believe me; the quiet approach isn't easy! Holding back from shouting out a war-cry while moving in for the splat on your enemy takes some serious self-control!

Fortunately, self-control is something that I'm a total master at...

But just as I was about to splat her, I noticed the merchandise displayed in the window right next to where Marie and I were standing.

And, O-M-G! The outfits on display were TOTES ADORBS!

I'm, like, squealing as I point into the window like; "O-M-G! Marie! Look! Those outfits are TOTES ADORBS!" And Marie, like, jolts in surprise as I say that, and then, instead of even bothering to look at the outfits I was pointing at; BAM! She splats me again!

Man! Talk about competitive! That girl can't even take her mind off the ongoing battle for just one minute to look at some window merchandise that her opponent, cousin, and best friend, is taking the time to interrupt the match to point out to her! Somebody sure needs to get her priorities straight! Sheesh!

I'm like; "That does it! It is on like Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong at the same time!" So I re-spawn and head running back to Marie again, ready to splat her like no one's business!

She was up on higher ground, so I decided to try sneaking around and splat her from behind again.

But on my way around, some jerk on the Blue-team who's also using a roller like me comes around the corner and runs me over!

What a road-hog! Couldn't he see I had the right of way?! Ladies always have the right of way! If he doesn't know even that, then I'll bet he probably flunked Driver's Ed even worse than I did!

So anyways, after I re-spawned, I realized that there was little time left on the clock before the match was over, so I wasn't going to have time to try and sneak up on Marie again. It was now or never! I was going to rush in on her with full force!

But it looked like my team must have been performing pretty badly, since the enemy team had most of the map covered in their blue ink and were closing us in around our spawn-point.

Sheesh! Have my teammates been slacking or what?! What have they been doing this whole time, anyhow?! Can't they see that there's a turf war going on?! They sure don't look like they've been capturing a lot of turf to me! What a bunch of slackers! I seriously hate being the only formidable player on the team like this! I wish they'd take the battle more seriously instead of counting on people like me to do all the work for them while they all goof off!

Marie was moving in closer; sniping at us with her charger to splat us as we try to move out. She was too high up to attack directly, so I decided to circle around and come at her after I charged up my special-weapon.

I slipped around past the other members of the Blue-team and inked the corridors to the side where no one was guarding. Then, as my special-gauge filled, I turned back towards Marie, ready to splat her once and for all!

As I got near, I activated my special-attack; the Kraken!

Using my kraken-form, I climbed my way up the wall that Marie was standing on, then came at her by surprise!

She repeatedly blasted at me with her charger, but it did nothing more than push me back slightly in my kraken-form. And I said to her in my terrifying kraken-voice; "TRY AS YOU MAY, MARIE! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SPLAT ME THIS TIME! I AM INVINSAB_! HUH..?!"

And just in the nick of time before I could finally splat Marie (or even finish my sentence, for that matter!), a whistle blew to indicate that the time was up and the battle was over!

And I was like; "NOOOOOOOO!"

And Marie was like; "Yay! Hehe!"

Then Judd came out from who-knows-where and looked at the map, which was mostly blue. He held up a blue flag, determining that the Blue-team won.

Marie was like; "Yes!"

And I was like; "No!"

And our respective teammates were likewise.

I don't know what my teammates had been doing that entire time, but whatever it was, they obviously did pretty terrible. What? Did they all just expect me to carry out the fight myself while they all went around getting splatted like maniacs?! I seriously hate working with people who can't do anything right!

That's when I looked around at my team...and I realized something that I should've noticed sooner...

Marie's like; "Looks like we beat you by a mile in that one! Wanna try again?"

And I pointed to my team and I'm like; "You only won because you had more members on your team than I did!"

And Marie's just in denial about it. She's like; "What do mean? It looks like you have your whole team to me..."

And I'm like; "Does this look like a full team to you?! Look; there are only three green Inklings here! It's supposed to be four against four!"

And there was; there was the guy with the Splattershot, the guy with the Slosher, and the girl with the Inkbrush, but no fourth member at all! I'm honestly surprised I didn't notice it sooner!

Marie just looked at me funny and said; "There's four of you..."

And I'm like; "Then where's my fourth teammate?! I don't see anyone here!"

And she just looks at me and is like; "I'm looking at her right now..."

And so I turn around to see this supposed fourth teammate that she claims to be looking right at, but I see no one there. I'm like; "Stop messing with me, Marie! I'm not stupid! Face it; you're just too salty to admit that you can't beat me in a fair fight!"

She just stands there and looks at me funny...and now everyone else is giving me that same strange look as if I were crazy or something.

Like, seriously; why do people always look at me funny for no reason at all like that?! What weirdoes!

A/N: Thank you for reading! This is my very first published story, so I'm still just kind of experimenting yet. I'll be continuing this series on the side, but I'm mainly working on a Legend of Zelda fanfic right now, so I'll likely only be updating this once in awhile when I have some extra time from my other projects. I'll still try to get more chapters like this one posted when I can, but this fanfic is more of a lower priority from my Zelda one, so updates won't be as frequent, but they'll still happen from time to time. I hope you'll look forward to and enjoy them. :)