I wrote this a long time ago during my very long hiatus. This is a songshot of MikitoP's Sayoko, sung by Hatsune Miku.
Inside the refrigerator were only herbal tea and a package of tabloids. Drained of emotion, she takes them out of the fridge and places her tea on the table. Opening her bottle, she takes out a single pill and gently places the bottle next to her tea. After a moment of hesitation, Sayoko takes the pill to her soft lips. Taking it in her mouth, she grabs her herbal tea and swallows it slowly, the herbal taste lingering in her mouth. When minutes pass and Sayoko stood, not moving a centimeter, a fluffy feeling kicks in, striking at her chest. Feeling a sense of satisfaction, Sayoko begins to move.
The apartment Sayoko shelter in was a disaster. Dirty clothes lay all over. Old wastes of food spread a foul smell. The floor was covered in torn or crumpled paper, empty cans, and boxes. Tiny, dry spots of brown dyed bits of the carpet. This horrid apartment was home to Sayoko.
Sayoko continued to walk to her bed with no sense of feeling. Her fingers lightly slid by the table, sliding by the screen of her dying iPhone. She would never notice. It held no importance to her. Nothing ever did in her recent days. She never noticed how mucky and sticky her brown locks were. She never noticed how sensitive her dimpled mouth was either. Nothing mattered anymore.
Reaching her bed, Sayoko fell on it. Rolling around and turning to a position she felt decent on, she closed her eyes. Time passed. Sayoko hoped to fall into a deep slumber. She longed for a slumber so deep, she wo0uld forever be paralyzed by it Sayoko would never move. Sayoko would never wake. Sayoko would never breathe again.
After an extended long while, Sayoko removed herself from her bed. Looking around her dull, dark, lifeless room, her eyes, dull with unhappiness, stopped on a single, remaining, edible fruit left in her home. Walking towards the beautiful ripe red, she passed the framed photos that stood on the shelves and dresses in the room. Every single picture had a smiling female brunette in presentable clothing. Most pictures had the happy girl with people Sayoko never spoke to again. When Sayoko chose to glance at one photo n her way to her desired fruit, she saw a frame with three girls, all smiling and linked together. Ignoring the brunette who Sayoko knew very well, she recognized the other two girls.
"Eri and Takayuki, how are they?" Sayoko wondered. How many years had it been since Sayoko last heard of them? As she continued walking, she kept pondering. Perhaps, Eri and Takayuki did not care for what had become of Sayoko. Neither had left a single message to the girl for quite a long while. Eri and Takayuki were most likely too involved with their fun lives to even remember Sayoko anymore. She didn't care anymore though.
Sayoko had no one for her.
Now standing in front of the apple, Sayoko used her right hand to grab it. Holding it, she brought it to her mouth and bit into it. The taste was as decent as she had hoped for. While she chew on her first bite, Sayoko lifted her left arm and examine her left wrist. It was faintly covered in dry red, and scars lingered. For every mistake Sayoko has made, a new wound was made for her pleasure. Before she could notice, her wrist was dyed a light brown color. Very suddenly, the flavor of the apple in her mouth became unbearable. Swallowing the remains of it, she quickly placed the fruit to where it had been originally. Sayoko returned to her bed and tried to sleep once more.
But sleep never came. Sayoko could never fall into a peaceful slumber. Sighing, she accepted that once again, she will have a restless night. She lost count of how many times she had a night like this. Leaving her bed once again, Sayoko went straight to the veranda. Opening the slide door, she took small steps to get out and closed the door behind her.
The breeze gently hit her soft cheeks as she stood in the outdoors. The night sky was just as dull as Sayoko's life. There was no cloud no moon and no stars in sight. All she saw was a dark ocean, large space for a bird to fly. Sayoko sighed.
"I won't be able to fly."
Sighing in defeat, Sayoko began to put herself down.
"I'm not pretty."
"I'm bland."
"My hair is dull."
"My job is a lackluster."
"My friends don't need me."
"Mom and Dad don't care."
"Everything is no good anymore."
"I want to die."
Turning around, Sayoko returned to her apartment. In the shadows, she grabbed a small object from the table, and she sat on the floor by her bed. Opening the object, she released a stained razor.
"I want to die, gently."
Sayoko took the razor to the skin of her left wrist. Slowly, she digged the sharp knife into her body. Pain arrived. But she no longer felt it. Red liquid poured out gently. Sayoko stared at it.
"All the smiles I had before…
The joy…
The friends…
The music…
The laughter…
Where did they all go?" Sayoko wondered.
"Why am I feeling this deep angst?"
For the rest of the night, Sayoko remained at her spot. Her head was resting on her right arm, which had laid on her knees. Her left arm laid lazily next to her, and the scars were exposed. The bloodstained razor lied on the floor near her. Sayoko never moved for the night. Morning came right after. Early morning sunlight peaked through the dim cracks of the curtain.
Sayoko never noticed it.
Sitting alone, Sayoko lamented on the sad days. She recalled every sad day she had experienced. Why was she remembering the pain? She did not have an answer. Most likely, she would not notice how much sadness she was feeling.
She would not notice a single thing.
"I should just disappear."
Hope you enjoyed this~