There are four girls that Sayaka would consider ice queens. Celestia Ludenberg, Kyouko Kirigiri, Mukuro Ikusaba, and Peko Pekoyama. Each one of them is stoic in the face of adversity, and Sayaka is smitten.
Kyouko, of course, is out of the question. She's already taken, snapped up about eight weeks prior to Sayaka's intense realisation.
But the other three don't seem to be, and Sayaka finds herself getting braver with each passing day. She doesn't really know how to explain her feelings, or how she'd be able to confess to all three.
She should start slowly, but the thrill seeker inside of her wants to jump in head first, with no regard for anything.
Sayaka forces herself to be cautious, not wanting to ruin everything she's built. Her producers might throw a fuss if she were to seek out any of them, but she doubts the media would pick up on it. Hell, she could probably marry one of them, and all the gossip sites would declare that she had a new best friend.
The real question, how is she going to go about all this? If she stays silent for too long, she'll blow up.
Luckily for her, friendship is a powerful weapon.
She spots Makoto just as he's leaving the grounds, and waves him over.
"Ah, hi there, Maizono-san!" Makoto greets cheerfully, "What's up?"
Sayaka smiles, "Are you busy right now, Naegi-kun?"
He shrugs, "Not particularly. Do you want to hang out?"
Sayaka nods. There's a nice little coffee shop that's just off campus, and she tries to spend her free time there. Some of the older students work there, and there's usually people studying there.
Makoto heads for the barista when they arrive, so Sayaka picks out a nice table. There's a clear view of the campus from there, and the morning light makes it all look gorgeous.
She stares out the window in silence, until Makoto places a coffee cup in front of her, and sits down across from her.
"Sorry, I didn't know what you wanted, so I got your usual," Makoto says.
Sayaka replies, "That's fine!"
They sip their coffee quietly, until Makoto breaks the silence, "So, tell me what's going on. I mean, you didn't just invite me for coffee, right?"
"Sharp as always. Maybe it's the hair," Sayaka jokes.
Makoto grins, "Okay, but seriously. What's going on?"
Sayaka pauses, then says, "Naegi-kun, how do you ask someone out?"
Makoto thinks for a bit, then says, "I don't really know. I mean, it was Kirigiri-san and Kuwata-kun that asked me."
Sayaka chuckles, thinking about that disaster. To this day, she has no idea how the three of them had managed to make it work. She wants to ask Makoto, but right now, her brain is moving too quickly for this.
"Kuwata-kun might be able to help you," Makoto adds.
Sayaka considers the idea, but something in her says no. Leon is a good friend, but she's still not very close to him, despite their shared love of music. Plus, he could easily just tell everyone, and one of Sayaka's fatal flaws is her need to overshare.
"Anyway, why do you want to know?" Makoto asks, a grin on his face, "Who is it?"
Sayaka looks down at her coffee cup. Help.
It's three people, but Makoto really doesn't need to know how badly she's fallen. She stutters for a few moments, before choking out, "It's… Ikusaba-san."
Makoto's face lights up like a street lamp, "Really? You two would be cute together."
Sayaka blushes, and rubs her hand behind her neck, "I just… I don't really know how to go about it all. I was never allowed to date anyone, thanks to my old contract."
Makoto thinks, "Hm, what if you just wrote her a note?"
"Like what? 'Roses are red, violets are blue, Go out with me, I think you're cute?'" Sayaka asks, only half joking.
Makoto chuckles, "Maybe something a bit more poetic."
She sighs, "Okay."
Roses are red, violets are blue
I'm eating alone tonight
Care to make it a table for two?
Sayaka grimaces at the poem. It's the ninth one she's written so far, and she isn't sure if it's the best or the worst.
She stares at it for a couple minutes, then copies it onto a cue card. There's still a bit of time before class starts again, so now is her window of opportunity.
Sayaka approaches Mukuro's dorm, and holds her breath. Her plan is to read out her poem as best as she can, then hope with all she has that the soldier will say yes.
With all the strength she can muster, Sayaka knocks on the door.
Mukuro opens it after a moment, and stares out, "Yes?"
Sayaka opens her mouth to read off the card, before drawing a blank and freezing up.
Mukuro looks around awkwardly, "Can I help you, Maizono-san?"
Sayaka swallows, her heart thumping loudly. Panic sets in, and throws her cue card at Mukuro before crying, "I'm not a poet, sorry!"
She's sprinting down the hall when she catches herself, and her sides are heaving.
"What have I done?" Sayaka whispers quietly to herself.
Later, she finds a cue card shoved under her door, with 'YES' written on it.
Things get easier from there.
Mukuro is a stoic ice queen, but she's also compassionate, and caring, and gentle. She lets Sayaka do the talking for her, and the idol is more than happy to talk about everything that happens in her life.
But she holds some things back, whether it's unconsciously or on purpose.
She'll swing her arms lightly when they hold hands, and something deep inside her will wish there was someone holding her other hand too.
Sayaka tries so hard to ignore these feelings. She feels disgusting, wishing for more when she has Mukuro, Mukuro who is willing to give her anything.
But she feels like she's lying, and there is one thing that Sayaka despises, it's people who lie to those they care about.
She wants to tell, she wants to keep it a secret, she wants to tear herself apart.
They're cuddling one night, during a thunderstorm.
The loud noises are scary, but Mukuro's steady heartbeat helps strengthen her resolve.
After a particularly loud strike, Sayaka balls up her fists, and whispers, "Ikusaba-chan? Can I tell you something?"
Mukuro squeezes her gently, "What is it?"
Sayaka gulps, then whispers, "Don't take this the wrong way, okay? I love you so much, okay?"
Mukuro's heartbeat speeds up, "Okay."
Sayaka says quietly, "I'm… I'm polyamorous."
Mukuro doesn't say anything for a moment, and Sayaka quickly says, "This doesn't mean I love you any less! You're still super important, and I'd never want to leave you and-"
She breaks off, tears forming in her eyes, sobs choking her up. Sayaka balls her fists up into Mukuro's shirt, and cries.
Mukuro holds her gently in her lap, and rubs Sayaka's back gently.
"Shhh, it's okay," Mukuro says, "I'm not mad. Thank you for telling me this."
Sayaka looks up, "Y-You're not mad?"
Mukuro offers a rare smile, "Of course not."
She holds Sayaka in her arms for what seems like an age. Sayaka curls up into a comfortable ball, while Mukuro squeezes her every now and then.
Just before Sayaka drifts off to sleep, she hears Mukuro whisper, "I am too."
Celestia Ludenberg is frightening.
Mukuro is either fearless, or reckless, and Sayaka can't tell which. It doesn't exactly matter, because she has the guts to do what Sayaka cannot.
"I… Only if you'd like…" Mukuro says, "I wanted to ask Celes-san…"
Sayaka smiles, "I'll go with you."
They find Celeste after class, the gambler appearing bored.
The whole process is difficult, and slightly awkward, but they manage to get the question out.
Rather, Mukuro says, "We want to know if you would like to date us," while Sayaka blushes intensely.
Celeste eyes the both of them for a moment then says, "The both of you?"
Sayaka nods, holding her hand behind her neck.
Celeste replies, "I accept this offer. If we are going to dinner for this, please allow me to choose the restaurant."
After working out the details, Mukuro and Sayaka walk away, trying to act as mature as possible. As soon as they round the corner though, Sayaka pumps her fist in the air.
Mukuro remembers things in a linear fashion. Holidays, dates, she remembers every detail down to the wire.
Celeste counts their milestones differently, remembering feelings, sensations, and singular moments.
Everything blurs together in Sayaka's head, remembering it all as a happy time that she calls, 'With Celeste and Mukuro.'
Somehow though, they don't quite feel complete.
Peko Pekoyama is two years older than the three of them, and spends almost every waking hour around Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu.
That doesn't stop Celeste, who is completely doe-eyed , or Mukuro, who seems enamoured with her sword fighting capabilities.
Sayaka feels more apprehensive about asking Peko to join them, than she did with Celeste. Something about how the swordswoman presents herself just makes her a bit nervous.
What if she says no?
The thought plagues her mind so much, that it makes her sick.
"You can stay here," Mukuro says to her, "I'll text you what happens after."
Barely able to move without stinging in pain, Sayaka nods. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it does.
Somehow, she manages to fall asleep. She dreams of mid winter, with snow covering the trees. It is cold, but beautiful, and she feels right at home.
When Sayaka wakes up, she grabs her phone out of reflex. There is one unread text, from three hours ago.
Mukuro-chan: She said yes.
They get better at things.
Sayaka gets them to hold hands, sometimes even in public. Celeste introduces them to worldwide cuisine. Mukuro guides them in making plans, and Peko teaches them self defence.
Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's a struggle. Relationships are never simple, but you don't get what you want unless you fight for it.
They all have great memories, but Sayaka has one in particular that the others don't remember.
She can't blame them, they were all sleep deprived when it happened, but it's one of her most cherished memories.
All four of them are sprawled out on piles upon piles of blankets in Mukuro's room. It's the middle of the night, and almost dead silent, except for them.
They talk about so many things, talk about dreams, aspirations, and goals, all as if they'll remember it in the morning.
At one point, Sayaka mumbles, "We could start a band."
Peko laughs, "You're the only one with musical talent."
"Mukuro can sing," Celeste offers.
Mukuro shrugs, "What would we even call the band?"
Celeste says, "Gambler's Fallacy."
Peko replies, "Swordplay?"
Sayaka thinks to herself, when Mukuro says, "What about… The Idol and the Ice Queens?"
Sayaka bursts into a fit of giggles, and the others follow suit.
They continue talking, until they begin drifting off, one by one.
Just before Mukuro falls asleep, Sayaka whispers, "I like your idea best."
Mukuro smiles, then shuts her eyes.
Sayaka grins. She has the cutest girlfriends in the world.