Last Goodbyes and New Beginnings
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ever the cautious one, Hotch didn't want JJ to do something she wasn't ready for. He turned to JJ in the passenger's seat, hands in her lap. She nodded, eyes wide. She was nervous, nearly to the point that she was shaking.
The pair made their way through the cemetery, dressed in black for the occasion; JJ in a duster sweater and trousers, Hotch in a suit and tie. Contrary to popular belief, Hotch didn't exactly favor ties, but he felt it wouldn't be appropriate to wear anything less. When they found what they were searching for, JJ felt short of breath.
Catherine Diana Jareau
1978- 1989
Beloved Sister and Daughter
JJ sank to her knees; she hadn't been there in nearly sixteen years. She had seen it at the funeral then and never returned. Hotch stood a respectful distance away, arms crossed, head bowed in respect for those lost. Fingering the engraving on the marble, JJ choked back a sob that had caught in her throat and stood up. She clutched the necklace at her throat, wondering how something so small could be so significant.
"Cath, wow, I can't believe this is you. That this is all that's left. Hard to believe my big brave sister is under my feet." JJ took in a gulp of air and steadied herself. "Sister, when you left, I was so angry. I couldn't accept that you'd left me, especially with mom and dad arguing all the time. I would walk past your room, just feeling so enraged. I was only eleven years old, and death makes you mature fast." JJ felt bitterness worm its way into her tone and hated it.
"But you know what? I grew up, I realized it was petty to hate you for being so ill in your mind that you had to take your own life. And besides, you taught me something important. Everyone has to die someday, and it had just happened to have been your time. If you hadn't died the way you did, you would have died a different way, maybe a worse way." JJ's voice grew stronger as she continued,
"Do you remember that boy, Tommy? I was convinced I would marry him and you would be my maid of honor." JJ laughed, although her smile disappeared quickly. Her voice grew lower in the sudden seriousness. "I could feel you there when I had Henry. I know you'll be there when I get married and always. I've forgiven you, sister." JJ looked up at the overcast sky and then to Hotch.
"Would you like to say a few words?" Hotch hadn't prepared anything, but he had almost expected to have been asked that question, and he could see in her eyes how much she needed someone else's words, if only for a moment. He nodded and stepped forward so he was next to JJ.
"Catherine. I didn't know you, but from all I've heard, you must have been a brilliant sister and a wonderful person. I'd like you to know that your sister follows in your footsteps. May you rest in peace." JJ smiled through her watery eyes.
"That was nice. Thank you." Hotch beckoned her. He gathered her in his arms, their grasps tight around one another.
"I'm so proud of you." Hotch said honestly, kissing the crown of her head. It was only then that she let herself sob out the dammed-up feelings she'd been carrying with her until there was nothing left. All the while he held her, giving her the support she so needed.
A short time later, before they made their departure, JJ blew a kiss to Catherine. In her mind she imagined Catherine's angel catching it and pressing it to her heart.