This is for another prompt from Eien ni Touko on Tumblr! I actually wrote two stories on this prompt, but this is the first one I've finished.
Prompt: Things you said when you were drunk.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Lucy stared in abject horror at the scene spreading out before her.
What had she done?
It had started out innocently. She swore it did. All she had done was what Mira had asked! Really!
How was she supposed to know that adding nail polish – the super glittery kind – to Cobra's drink would be a bad idea? It was the only non-ingestible, poisonous thing she had on hand! Mira should know better than to ask her things when she was half-asleep!
Well, Lucy was by no means tired anymore. In fact, she was dangerously sober and very much aware that the incriminating evidence was still in her possession.
"Um… Lucy?" Mirajane asked, returning from the back room. "What… is going on, here?"
"I added a poison to Cobra's drink for him like you asked," Lucy replied weakly. Setting the empty bottle of nail polish on the counter, she continued, "I didn't think it would result in this, though."
Cobra, as the Poison Dragon Slayer, often required poison to be added to his meals and drinks whenever he visited Fairy Tail with the rest of Crime Sorciere. It was an integral part of his magic, and like the other Dragon Slayers he had to consume it fairly regularly. So when Mirajane had run out, she'd asked Lucy if she had anything on hand while she went and checked the stores.
Given that Lucy had just finished painting her nails with Wendy about forty minutes prior, nail polish – in the flamboyant, sparkly shade of Caribbean Blue – was what immediately came to mind.
Again, how was she supposed to know that Cobra, whose magic afforded him an immunity to alcohol, could become drunk at all? Much less on the combination of nail polish and acetone?
The results were mildly catastrophic.
Normally the snarly, snarky Dragon Slayer could be found in the company of Kinana or his teammates and if not, he would be sulking in a corner ignoring all the insanity his magic forced him to be intimately privy to. Every once in a while, Natsu would invade the man's personal space and demand a fight. Whereupon he would be pounded into the ground in short order and Cobra could return to trying to keep his sanity intact.
But now?
Cobra was laughing maniacally. Which wasn't exactly a new thing – except that this time it was punctuated by… was that a giggle? Was he giggling?!
The Dragon Slayer, it turned out, was an extremely cheerful drunk.
Also rather physically affectionate. He'd tried to hug Kinana (which hadn't gone too well given that she'd been holding a tray of drinks at the time), then he'd tried to hug Sorano (which had gone even less well), and then he finally captured Meredy and refused to let go (which she was ecstatic about, nearly breaking his ribs in the ensuing embrace).
Natsu, in typical Natsu-fashion, had tried to start a fight with the Poison Dragon Slayer.
It had ended even faster than the normal bouts, interestingly enough. Apparently sober Cobra had been holding back a little on the Fire Dragon Slayer. Which left Natsu miffed and only slightly conscious.
However, it did not take long for the other Dragon Slayers to notice and subsequently take advantage of one of drunk Cobra's more strange traits.
Namely, the fact that he would answer any question posed to him.
Any question. No matter what it was about. Drunk Cobra had no qualms about spilling everyone's darkest secrets.
Meredy and Sorano were also gleefully making use of all the new knowledge they were accumulating, for shipping purposes of course.
Lucy was honestly rather surprised Mirajane hadn't yet picked up on the fact that she could learn all she needed to about her potential couples right now, free of charge. Normally, getting Cobra to divulge the inner workings of other peoples' love lives was like pulling a Dragon Slayer's teeth. Complete with whining and full-blown magical fits.
"So, Cobra," Meredy prodded, inordinately pleased with the sheer brilliance of her next question. "You've told us about everyone else… what about you? Who are you interested in?"
To the shock of everyone present, the now-agreeable man shook his head violently. "Not telling!" He made a shushing noise. "Is a secret!"
Laxus rolled his eyes. "Like we don't all know that it's Kinana."
"It's not!" he protested. "She's my best!"
"Friend, Cobra-san," Wendy gently informed him. "You forgot to add, 'friend.'"
Lucy struggled to hold back her laughter at the fact that – in his drunken stupor – Cobra had forgotten that part of his statement.
"Oh, really," Gajeel said. "Well I think you're just too chicken-shit to tell them."
"I am not!" Cobra growled, though the efficacy of the implied threat was diminished somewhat by the fact that the sparkles from the polish were coating the inside of his mouth. Also, his tongue was now blue.
Picking up on Gajeel's tactic, a recovered Natsu leaned in towards the Poison Dragon Slayer. "I bet you can't do it!" he challenged.
Cobra's eyes narrowed, the good cheer having vanished entirely from his demeanor. "Say what?"
"Natsu's right." Laxus grinned maliciously at his fellow Second Generation Slayer. "I bet you can't go up to the person right now and ask them out. You're. Too. Chicken-shit."
Offended, and not thinking as clearly as when he was sober, Cobra unsteadily rose to his feet. "I can, and I'll prove it!" he snarled. With that, he began to walk rather wobbly in the general direction of the bar, his path meandering.
Confused and curious, it didn't register for Lucy just where – or who – he was intent on reaching, until he stood before her.
Her stomach dropped as he intensely regarded the blonde Celestial Mage.
"Uh… did you… need something, Cobra?" Lucy asked tentatively. Surely he wasn't…?
"Lucy Heartfilia," the Poison Dragon Slayer suddenly stated, the epitome of calm. His eyes were clear, and his voice steady with no trace of a drunken slur. If Lucy hadn't known better, she would have assumed he was completely sober.
"Yeah, Cobra?" she responded, swallowing thickly.
"Will you go on a date with me?"
Shocked, Lucy could only stare at him with her brown eyes gone impossibly wide.
Behind Cobra, all the other people still in the guild at this hour wore the exact same expression as Lucy. Mirajane, too, on the other side of the bar was just as stunned as the rest.
Finding it difficult to breathe under the watchful gaze of Cobra's vibrant, purple eye, Lucy gave him a minute nod. Barely enough to qualify as an affirmative, or even movement at all. "S-sure," she stuttered, flattered to be asked by the man she – admittedly – more than once caught herself thinking about. And not in a strictly friendly way.
Cobra's face broke out into a grin and Lucy flushed deeply at its appearance. She had noticed it before, of course, but Cobra was extremely handsome. Even more so up close and personal.
Then Cobra's expression suddenly fell, and a green tinge crept along his dark skin.
"Bathroom," he muttered, and then promptly fled.
As Lucy watched him go with deep trepidation, while the other Dragon Slayers (sans Wendy) hooted and hollered at the Poison Dragon Slayer.
She couldn't help but think that there would be hell to pay come morning.
Because Cobra was grumpy enough when he was sober.
What was he going to be like hungover?
More importantly, was he going to remember everything he had said and did?
And would he regret it?
The next morning saw the guild in a state of shambles. This was pretty much par for the course for Fairy Tail, but this time, when Lucy walked in, she couldn't help but shudder at the mess. It was pretty bad.
Scanning the groaning bodies sprawled around, she tried to locate a familiar head of maroon hair.
She found him before long, emerging from the restroom. Cobra seemed rather… ill. Which was to be expected. Was this his very first hangover?
The Dragon Slayer's eye snapped up to meet Lucy's. Corner of his mouth twitching upward, he beckoned for her to join him at the bar.
Nerves running amok, Lucy did, sliding onto the barstool next to him. Very, very softly, she whispered, "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," he told her. "I've heard you all with them before, but experiencing it is something else entirely."
Lucy gave him a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, hangovers are the worst."
He nodded weakly. "Never add that shit to my drinks again."
Flushing, she readily agreed, "Got it."
There was a long period of silence between them, while Lucy stared down at her hands in her lap and Cobra rubbed his aching temples.
'Great, he probably doesn't remember,' Lucy thought, a little disappointed. She resolved to put it behind her and pretend it didn't happen.
Cobra glanced at the Celestial Mage by his side. "No need for that," he told her. When she finally met his gaze, he gave her a mildly queasy smile. "I wasn't that drunk. So where do you want to go?"
Lucy blinked at him. "Huh?"
"On our date," Cobra replied. "Also, when? It will probably have to be sometime this afternoon or tonight – my guild is heading out tomorrow morning."
Flushing in happiness, Lucy nodded. "Tonight is fine!" she squeaked, and then nearly laughed as Cobra winced at the decibel. "Maybe we should discuss this after Wendy gets a chance to heal you?"
Laying his forehead against the cool countertop, Cobra agreed profusely. "I need to murder some people later, too," he mumbled into the wood grain. "Thank you for reminding me."
Lucy had the distinct feeling that her life was about to get very interesting indeed.