Hello all, midnightrebellion86 here.

I'm going to be taking a break from my remakes of certain seasons, so I'm going to be doing a series of one-shots. I was re-reading NotMarge's Jimmy Not Moses again, and new idea's came to my head. Yup, this will mostly feature Bette, Dot and Jimmy. But there will be some other characters included. There will be NO OCs. Just strictly ECs (Existing Characters).

Disclaimer: I don't own American Horror Story.

Prank 1 Pipes and High Pitches

Sitting out in the open field of the Freak Show camp grounds was a two headed woman and a young man with lobster claw like hands. The three were not in the greatest of moods.

"I hate that woman." Dot thought to her sister.

"Hate is such a strong word, sister." Bette relayed back.

Dot growled under her breath at her sister's lecturing. "Bette, don't lecture me right now," Dot snapped. "That woman thinks just because we sing better than her, that we're just gonna step back and give her the spotlight. Well, I got a present for her."

Jimmy, already familiar with Bette and Dot's mental conversations with themselves, decided to remain quiet. He too was mad at Elsa.

"Jimmy." Dot called, taking Jimmy out of his thoughts.

Jimmy looked in Dot's direction. "What is it, Dot?" Jimmy asked.

"What do you think we should do about big bad boss lady?" Dot asked.

Jimmy let out a small laugh as the wide grin stayed on his face. "I thought you'd never ask," Jimmy said as he pulled out a clean opium pipe that had never been used. "C'mon, follow me."

Jimmy looked both ways before making sure that no one was in sight. He took a few steps back towards all the tents before looking under a few tables and bins to ensure that Ma Petite wasn't spying on the three.

"Okay, the coast is clear," Jimmy said. "C'mon."

The three began making their way towards their helium machine, and Dot quickly caught onto what Jimmy had in mind.

"Oh, this is gonna be so funny, sister." Dot relayed.

"After tonight, no one will wanna hear her sing." Bette relayed back.

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It was now night time at the Freak Show. The big tent was filled to capacity with eager audience members awaiting the start of the show. The members of the crowd were having all different kinds of conversations at once, making the chatter sound like a bunch of jumbled mess. The lights dimmed down and a stage light beamed at the red curtain as circus music began to play throughout the tent.

Ethel, the MC of the Freak Show came out and took the microphone. "Good evening all," Ethel greeted. "Welcome to tonight's show!"

Ethel did the usual introduction of the different freaks. Jimmy did his lobster hand act using the projector, Paul did his act, the pinheads just twirled around carelessly and following a few more acts, Ethel came back out and took the microphone. The crowd seemed to really enjoy Jimmy's lobster claw act, though.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the leader and the one and only, Elsa Mars!" Ethel said with enthusiasm.

Elsa came onto the stage with her own smaller microphone clipped to her button down sky blue top. She was also wearing matching blue pants.

The German woman looked into the eyes of the crowd with confidence. Amazon Eve began to play the piano and Elsa began to sing Life on Mars.

It's a god-awful small affair

The entire crowd busted into a chorus of hysterical laughter at the sound of Elsa's unusually high pitched voice. Even Elsa was stunned at this. The German woman regained her composure and continued the song.

To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling, "No!"
And her daddy has told her to go
But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream

The crowd was dying with laughter now. Elsa didn't make it past 'Now she walks through her sunken dream, due to the laughs drowning out her high pitched voice. The German's blood was boiling big time, and she was not able to hold in that temper of hers. She used the microphone attached to her outfit and went off on the crowd.

"Du dummer wertlos menschen!" Elsa snapped using her native tongue, but she sounded less threatening, due to her voice being high pitched from the helium. "Scheiß auf euch alle! Wie kannst du es wagen mich in mein größter Moment verspotten? Sie wertlos Schlampen für Hausfrauen ! Und Sie Hälfte Männer, die an gefallen eure Frauen einen schlechten Job machen. Erhalten Sie die Hölle aus meinem Zelt!"

The crowd had tears in their eyes because they were laughing so hard.

Backstage, Jimmy, Bette and Dot couldn't hold back their laughter, due to hearing the whole thing from backstage. In fact, that could be said for all the freaks, including Elsa's puppet, Ethel. The laughter stopped when an irate Elsa stormed backstage with fury in her eyes.

"Which one of you put helium in my opium pipe?" Elsa demanded in her high pitched voice. "Tell me now!"

The freaks were all trying to catch their breath from all the laughter, and eventually, the irate Elsa stormed off to be alone in her tent.

That's it for this prank.

I used Google Translator for Elsa's outburst in German, so if I messed up any words, my bad.

Bye for now.