If the Turks wrote restaurant reviews

by Enide Dear

Exactly what the title says

If the Turks wrote restaurant reviews:

Reno:
"I got stabbed here. The food was fresh and the drinks were tasty but I got stabbed here. Would consider going back. Four stars."

Tseng:
"Floor to ceiling windows give an open ambiance but very little cover from sniper fire. Creative appetizers and a limited but well selected wine list. Excellent prices. Four stars."

Rude:
"Production values at this theater are very high and the classic 1950s construction makes it very easy to contain hand to hand combat in a hallway. They give back to the community and host amateur theater productions all winter long. Five stars."

Elena:
"Unflappable staff members are friendly and ready with a book suggestion or a pressure bandage, even right before closing. Free coffee is a nice touch. Sorry about the armchair. Four stars."