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Chapter 1

Carter tossed to and fro, her solid legs jerking the covers away. She blinked, opening her eyes like a newborn to the world, only with less wonder and more shock. Wiping the stray hairs away from her face, she glanced at her alarm clock. She was aware though of how dark it was outside. The trees loomed over her window, the shade of the moon glow cutting through the glass shimmering on her bedroom floor.

3:27 am

She groaned shifting away from the blinking clock. Her head throbbed and muscles ached with exhaustion from another sleepless night. Ever since Cal had died, sleep had been evading her. The quest to find his killer always remained on the forefront of her overactive mind. She was sure it had to be HR. she just had to figure out who, and bring them down. She had to do that much. If not she feared for her sanity.

Her day was eventful as most days are for NYPD. Evasive calls from Finch about another number. Stake-ut or rendezvous with Reese, Fusco or trigger-happy Shaw, and bringing the bad guy down. All in all pretty productive. Yet, she has permanent frown lines etched in her mocha features; she barely smiles anymore. The one crime she desperately wants to solve she's having the most resistance with. The team starts to notice apparently or else Shaw wouldn't have grabbed her arm leading her down an adjacent street that's lit up markers of sleazy establishments and dive bars.

'Typical Shaw' Carter pegs.

"You're gonna come and grab a drink with me" Shaw's tone it sounds like a demand after Carter wrenched her arm away with an incredulous expression at Shaw. "I'm tired of you…mopping" she cringes like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

"Hey, I don't mope"

"Yes, you do and you are. Come on I know a place nearby." Shaw raises a defiant eyebrow before resuming their walk leaving Carter to quietly seethe before grumbling and catching up to Shaw. She cuts her eye to Shaw, who has a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

She seriously could use a drink though.

The bar is small with a décor that's less than desirable. Its odd color scheme reminds Carter of a hospital oddly. But she doesn't mind; the drinks are dirt cheap, the bartenders more than heavy handed, and they get hook-ups because of the haughty, and terrifying gaze Shaw keeps shooting at the bartender.

After the first four shots of tequila warm their bellies they slow to a halt in order to not die of alcohol poisoning. Their bodies hum from the liquor flowing through their body, bubbling underneath their skins and slightly blurring their rationality. The jukebox at the far end of the bar is playing a slow song, Tear for Fears "Memories Fade" that Shaw thinks should never be played in a bar like this. Damn patrons. It's got Carter all introspective with a faraway look, and Shaw can't help the scowl that grows on her face. Good lord she's killing her buzz.

"Stop mopping" Shaw says after swallowing a tequila shot the scared bartender puts in front of her. Carter only smiles, the affection not reaching her though at the fumbling man who's placed a new shot in front of her.

Carter shoots her a glare, and Shaw returns gladly which makes Carter acquiesce, shoulders slumping uncharacteristically in defeat.

Shaw's better at it anyways. With her angry eyes and pursed lips. It just suited her.

Carter is use to smiling that big wide smile, her teeth on display, big brown eyes sparkling with her shiny loose hair framing her angular face. That's what Shaw associates to Carter at least, and she misses that. Misses the small sinking sensation in her stomach when it was directed at her.

Great now she was introspective. It was contagious.

"Sorry, I just got stuff on my mind." Carter sighs glancing at Shaw who's only watching her warily, her eyes narrowing in confusion or concern, Carter is unsure. "Don't worry, I'm not about to try and have some powwow with you or anything." She shrugs, a small empty smile erupting on Carter's face that leaves her eyes appearing sadder in the faint overhead light. Shaw has to battle the inkling compulsion to reach out and hug the woman because…just no. She doesn't…hug. "I guess I just been in not the best of moods because of it. Ya know?" Carter stares intensely over at Shaw who considers the question only rhetorical but she still nods absent mindedly before scowling at the bartender and holding up her two fingers before some more shots are tossed to her to take.

She doesn't know how to console people. That requires things like emotions and feelings, which Shaw sure as hell doesn't understand. She knows fighting, fucking and drinking. More or less in that order. Carter's too much of a friend to fight, and the drinking suggestion seems to be coming up as unsuccessful in helping when those deep, forlorn eyes Carter's making while swiveling the empty shot glass on the wooden countertop.

She's close to asking Carter for a romp in the hay, more elegantly though because Carter deserves that much, just as a friend to offer some kind of pseudo-comfort because she cares. But she knows Carter will probably sputter a response and stumble home. The liquor isn't aiding in her choosing the wisest decision anyways even with that vision that could happen.

She really just want's to see Carter smile brightly again. Even if for a fleeting moment, and that is what helps her make the decision.

"Drink this" Shaw scoots the murky shot closer to her before taking her last one with a cringe and throwing a couple of bills on the counter. The bartender relaxes, smiling in gratitude while going back to his task of wiping off glasses.

"Why? Are we leaving or something?" Carter's brows crease watching Shaw at her side.

"Yeah you're coming with me." Shaw jumps off the stool holding her hand out for Carter to take.

"Nu uh no way, not another bar" Carter grumbles dramatically shaking her head. "I'm not in the mood, plus this place is…" she cuts her eyes around the establishments shabby interior searching for a suffice word before settling with "nice". But in the end she acquiesces and takes the shot, her hand joining Shaw's as she help her balance not to fall in a drunken stupor off the stool in her heels.

"Nope not a bar you're coming home with me."

"What!?" Carter spurts out looking manically at Shaw who only smirks amused at the reaction. "Why the hell am I going to your place when I have a house of my own equip with my own kid." Carter retorts.

'Geez women can be so dramatic' Shaw thinks. "I'm tired of that sad face you have. I just remembered I have a present I want to give you. It's back at my apartment."

They continue their walk out of the bar into New York's breeze and night lights to a subway.

"Mhmmm right, a present." Carter says skeptically but follows Shaw anyways. Her curiosity is getting the best of her and she really wants to know if it's another glock that Shaw will give her because she definitely won't turn that down. It would help to have more arsenal in her search of Cal's killer.