Ponyboy didn't care that he had ran out of the house like he was on fire. He didn't care that he ignored the cries of his brothers, didn't care that his feet never stopped slapping against the pavement. He never bothered to check where he was going- it didn't matter. He didn't bat an eye when he jumped onto the vacated old caboose of a train that happened to be docked on the rails beside the lot. All he cared about was the fact that Darry hit him.
It wasn't just a slap across the face, no… it was something much worse. It was a sign. A terrible, horrifying premonition of what his life could turn into. That maybe it wouldn't stop with this one night. That in a year or two, hell, maybe just months from now, what was left of his family would fade into an awful darkness of empty lonely memories, nothing but pain and bitterness. That his home life would turn out just like Johnny's. The thought of such a living hell was unbearable to the young greaser. His heart had been broken enough. He'd lost both his parents already- he couldn't live if he lost his brothers, too. He just couldn't. It was more than what his already teetering sanity was able to take.
So he ran away that night, as fast as his track legs could carry him. He never wanted to see Darry again, never wanted to go back to that neighborhood with that lonely house full of resentment, never dared to go back to the skeleton of Tulsa he once called home. Flashes of memories zoomed past him- Dally leaning against the porch with a cigarette, Steve calling him a smartass but chuckling all the same, Two-bit watching the late night Mickey cartoons… Soda holding him every night as he fell asleep. He had been Pony's best friend, rock, and sort of surrogate parent since everything had happened. A sharp pain once more ripped through his heart as he thought of his older brother. Not you, Soda, Ponyboy remembered sadly, you were always on my side. I hope you never doubt that I love you.
But Soda couldn't know that. Not now- it was too late. Ponyboy's thoughts and heart were racing faster than what he could catch up with, so he was left with an oddly numb sensation as Johnny sat there holding him. Through his daze he vaguely recalled Johnny sitting around in the lot, eyes widening as he saw Ponyboy running. He had come with him, refusing to let his best friend go alone. Quiet, solemn Johnny who always understood him… Now he was here, rubbing his shoulders gently, telling him everything would be ok. Ponyboy couldn't register much more beyond those words- he didn't even realize it when the train started moving long ago, the two boys curled up together against the back wall of the rickety old wooden car.
It was dirty, spray painted with graffiti on the outside and a layer of dust and grime on the inside. Ponyboy watched the Oklahoma landscape of forests and fields dotted with lonely barns go by in front of them, the quiet sound of crickets and the wheels against the tracks as they faded away from civilization. I don't care, Ponyboy thought desperately with tear stained cheeks as the train pushed onwards, I don't care where you take me. Just take me away from here. As far and as fast as you can…
Johnny was asleep with his head on Pony's shoulder, the both of them exhausted. And so, only the vast sky full of stars was there to acknowledge the lone drop of saltwater down his gaunt face when he fully processed what was happening. His old life was over. All he ever knew, the gang, the town, his family… Gone, just like that.
Ponyboy sniffed, angrily wiping the tears away from his eyes with his fists. Come on, bawl baby, pull yourself together, he scolded himself, looking off into the distance as his eyelids became half mast, you're on your own, now… And you ain't never goin' back.