Shizuka stares down at her worn rubber sneakers. The black strip is wearing off on the edges of the shoe, partially from picking at it, but mostly because she's been wearing the shoes on and off for several years. She has two, maybe three pairs at most, and the over worn feeling makes them comfortable. Comfort has always been more important to her than fashion. Mai has been trying to convince her fashion is fun and flattering, but she just doesn't see it.
The walls of the room are blindingly white and she does not want to look at them. The unique abstract artwork and slightly uncomfortable chairs get tiring to look at, and she doesn't feel like reading the gossip magazines provided at her leisure. She is waiting for Jounouchi, something that feels even more brutal than waiting to be seen herself.
Ever since Battle City, it just hasn't been the same. She gained her vision, but her brother just hasn't been all there. Pieces of him are missing… missing since that horrible man destroyed him and Mai. The three of them come here once a week to pay for the aftermath. They can't really afford it, but Jounouchi's brawls, sober to say the least, were become more and more dangerous. The hazardous behaviour he would partake in, followed by the lethargic way he would move around the house and the empty eyes he would gaze at her with when he asked her where all the food went.
She always told him "I don't know," because she couldn't bear to remember the fight they had the night before when she begged him to stop eating, they didn't have the money for him to keep binging, stumbling out the door, fighting, throwing up, and acting hollow the next day. It hurt her to watch, even more to remember. So she saw the doctor, as Jounouchi did for his behaviour and repressed memories, as Mai did for the terrible things she endured. But she saw him for different reasons.
He was a strange little man, but very comforting. It has taken Shizuka awhile to get used to him, but now he was a confidant for her. She would confess to him how Jounouchi's behaviour frightened and hurt her. She was not ashamed, and she tried, oh she tried to understand. She wanted to fix him, but unskilled hands could not mend a melted mind. The doctor suggested she do what she does best, the only thing to be done in these situations. She should sit back, be patient, and let Jounouchi know she was there for them. Fights would do no good; only serve to enable the behaviour.
"Should I tell him to stop?" she asked, unsure of herself, if she had been taking the right path.
"Well, it might help to. But if he gets violent or angry, stop. He's hurting, and might think you're helping the dark side. Just let it go and wait for him to stop. I'll work with him. But let's talk more about how you're doing."
Every month, a mysterious donor supplied the exact amount for 8 monthly visits to the doctor, just enough to pay the bills. Shizuka always thanked the lord whenever she got the check, and every month, prayed they would receive the next one.
'Until Jounouchi is better, until Jounouchi is better. Please help us until then.' She thinks as she cashes the check and writes a personal one to the doctor, always thanking him when she hands it to him. She does not trust Jounouchi with money anymore, since Battle City; he's been reckless with it.
Shizuka twirls a loose thread around her finger until the skin changes colour. She hears muffled voices in the other room grow louder, and the realization is scaring her. She raises a finger to her mouth to chew on her nails, but then lowers it. Mai has made Shizuka promise to stop biting her nails.
"Men like longer fingernails – they feel neuroses are visible through the condition of her hands," she says. Mai is wise beyond her years when she is not trapped in her room, feeling the strain of the experience she is suffering.
Shizuka gets up to pace, to do something to get her mind off the sounds coming from the other room. They are growing louder and she really does not wish to think about what is going on in there.
A muffled crash makes her jump a few feet in the air. Shizuka can't help it; she stops pacing and puts her head in her hands. Jounouchi is having an episode, right here. He hasn't done that in so long. This can only mean one thing – a reverse of the progress.
A strangled sob escapes her lips and Shizuka begins to cry softly, tears spilling down her cheeks in the empty waiting room.
"Jounouchi, please, please… Get better." She whispers, her voice rising until finally she lets out a strangled cry, a single word.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
Shizuka hears the voice from behind her and turns around. A short boy with long, wild black hair is staring up at her, expression seemingly concerned for her welfare. Shizuka knows this boy, she's seen him a few times before with… she strains to remember, but the memory is blocked by her anguish.
"Oh, it's nothing." Shizuka laughs, wiping her tears away and pretending it's fine, as usual. "Just getting a little melodramatic over some personal problems."
"Do you want to talk about it?" The boy asks curiously, concerned.
"That's what I'm here for." Shizuka says with a laugh. The tears are damp stains on her cheeks now, and the noises from the other room have stopped. She is grateful, and silently prays Jounouchi will not barge out until the hour is up, giving her something to explain to the nice, concerned boy, who for some reason, she does not want to feel embarrassed around.
"Oh, yeah, me too! My big brother feels bad that we never see one another, so he sends me to talk to this guy if I have problems or feel lonely. He's really cool and I can see him every day if I want. Sometimes, if things are bad, he comes over and plays video games with me!" The boy says, rambling on and on.
Shizuka laughs, a sound akin to tinkling crystal, ringing through the room.
'She has a nice laugh,' Mokuba thinks. 'I wonder if Seto would like it too.'
He feels warmed by her laughter, a momentary that is then replaced by the heat of embarrassment. Why is he telling her all this? He tries to cover himself by rambling some more, but it only serves to further blow up into his face.
"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. I've been talking about me so much, what about you? Are you okay? You were crying? Oh, I don't even know your name, but I recognize you. I'm Mokuba! What's yours?"
Shizuka smiles but doesn't laugh again, and Mokuba is glad because he feels strange when she laughs.
"My name is Shizuka. It's nice to meet you, Mokuba. I remember you too, but I just can't think of where. Things… aren't too great right now." She trails off, looking towards the empty door, where the muffled voices have once more begun to rise.
Mokuba may be thoughtless at times, but certainly never on purpose, and never to intentionally hurt another person. He understands, through her unspoken actions, that she doesn't want to talk about it, because he suddenly remembers her from Battle City. He remembers the aftermath, how he once ran into her brother on the street. It didn't seem like the exuberant boy from the tournament, but rather a broken, hollow shell of a man.
He remembers sending the letter, the suggestion to see the doctor, and the plans he and the doctor made together to pay for the fees for her and her brother – anonymously, of course. Mokuba discards the white envelopes Seto offers marked Kaiba Corp, but Seto is not offended or angry. He knows their family would not take charity from the Kaiba name. At first, he had not been so supportive of Mokuba's plan, unwilling to offer money to help 'the mutt'. But then Kaiba got into a scrap with Jounouchi in a dark alley, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Shizuka doesn't know, and he didn't realize until now that Jounouchi is her brother. He doesn't know what to say to her words, but instead looks at her scuffed pink running shoes.
He looks back up at her, stares right into her eyes, and says the first thing that comes into his head.
"You look very pretty, even though…" He trails off, cheeks turning red, gaze dropping to the floor. Had he said that? He hadn't even realized she was attractive, well, of course he had, but he hadn't been thinking about it. But as he mulled it over, he realized it was true. She was attractive. He hadn't meant to say it so bluntly, just to compliment her so she might feel a tad better. But it seemed to be having a reverse effect, instead embarrassing himself, as well as her.
But when he directs his eyes back up towards her, he finds she is smiling at him.
"Thank you," she says, her voice devoid of the condescending or patronizing tone he expected. Instead, she seems happy, smiling even.
The age gap is not so big, he realizes. Maybe, in a few years? He shakes his head. It isn't time to think of that.
Mokuba decides he should leave, because the sounds from the neighboring room are growing louder. He closes the distance between them, and startling both himself and Shizuka, gives her a hug, followed by a kiss on the cheek.
"Good luck," he whispers, lips having traveled from her cheek to her ear to share. Then he turns around and exits the room. Moments later, Jounouchi storms out of the doctor's office, eyes alive with fire.
He's yelling something unintelligible, but Shizuka isn't listening. She's thinking about the kiss, the hug, the compliment. The strange way he carries himself. He looks like a child, walks like a child, and talks like a child. But the things he expresses are of a maturity not even Jounouchi possesses. He can't be more than twelve, and yet she finds in him an attractive quality she has never before seen in another male. Chivalry, kindness – something she had glimpsed in Tristan before she ran away with Miho.
Maybe, in a few years, Mokuba Kaiba. She startles remembering her last name.
Jounouchi's hand is wrapped around hers, suddenly. How long has it been there? She is startled by the realization of a small attraction to the younger boy, and that he is a Kaiba. Maybe someday, she thinks. But not right now. There is too much. She squeezes Jounouchi's hand, and his face relaxes a bit, loses some tension. His eyes are losing the fire, slowly returning to their former lifelessness.
They hold hands as they leave the office and Shizuka is smiling. Mokuba has reminded her of hope. To keep going. Mokuba has reminded her of one day, and the past when things were okay.
Mokuba will be in her future.