blinding light
by Lily M.
Kotetsu!
He can hear the laughter that usually came after his name, as if she were standing right there. He turns the ring around his finger again, and he can almost see her, out of the corner of his eye. He doesn't know where the habit came from; it wasn't there a few years ago. Kaede is now ten. He's strong, a hero, but as a father, he can't carry her in his arms anymore. She doesn't fit. She doesn't let him.
It's been a few years.
He wants to smile, but realizes he can't.
Something hurts.
He's wounded again – Barnaby scolded him, yelled at him, words like careless and stupid and cursing he never expected to hear – but that isn't it. He realizes he hasn't had much to eat all day. He got distracted by voices that weren't there. By Barnaby's concerned looks and by the scene playing over and over—
Kotetsu-san!
— and how Barnaby had barely any more self-control then he did, in the end. How he had chased the criminal after Kotetsu got hurt, even without his Hundred Power, even tired after a long day of work, but he had chased and caught him. It had been just a scratch, it barely soaked Kotetsu's shirt. Kotetsu wonders if it had been for revenge, Bunny really needs to work on that, or if…
Barnaby walks back into his living room, without his jacket on and ready to change his partner's bandages. Kotetsu lets go of his ring, dangling his hands lazily between his legs, forearms resting on his knees, allowing himself to look as exhausted as he felt.
There is no sound in the room; Barnaby doesn't speak as he works, hands feeling cold against Kotetsu's sickly warm arm as they accidentally brush against his skin. Kotetsu can't deal with silence, but he doesn't know what to say either. He is out of jokes and funny remarks and his mind is—
Kotetsu-san!
—busy and blurry.
Barnaby must still be mad, and his fingers are in a current position that could harm him. Kotetsu doesn't want to risk.
Kotetsu doesn't want him to be mad anymore.
His free hand moves to lie on top of Barnaby's head in an affectionate hair ruffle. Barnaby looks up from his position, hands finished with their job and lost for a moment, dropping out of sight slowly as if not really sure what to busy themselves with. Kotetsu is sure his intention was to be playful, but Barnaby's intense eyes are closer than he had anticipated. If only it wasn't for his glasses. Kotetsu decides to take them off.
As soon as Kotetsu slides the trademarked spectacles off Barnaby's face, there is no more distance between them. Barnaby's lips linger against his for what couldn't be more than a couple of seconds, before they move, taking in more of Kotetsu's taste. He's so close, almost on top of him but not quite; a hand has found its place on tanned chest, the other traces his beard. Kotetsu still holds his head, bringing him closer. When he inhales, Barnaby's scent floods his senses.
It's different, so different.
"Kotetsu-san…"
Barnaby breathes against his lips, making Kotetsu pull slightly away, enough to look away, a faint smile on his lips. The smell, the decisive kisses, the height, the name.
She always calls him by his first name, and her laughter is like the sound of bells, and the memory of her is so bright it's blinding.
Kotetsu doesn't notice the confused, hurt look on Barnaby's face.
He does notice when the warmth leaves him.
Looking up quickly, he barely has the chance to grasp Barnaby's wrist. His partner is flushed and frowning, and he realizes that fuck, he has made Bunny mad after all. He doesn't say anything, and for a while, they stay like that.
When he looks down, he notices the ring shining weakly on the hand that holds Barnaby back. Following his eyes, Barnaby notices it too. Rather dejected, the blond sits down on the couch next to him.
"I'm sorry, Bunny," he manages to say, resting his head on Barnaby's shoulder. He can feel how tense the other is, but he doesn't let him leave. Barnaby sighs, and he sounds exhausted too. Kotetsu doesn't know quite what he's apologizing for, but he doesn't let him leave. Barnaby crosses his legs, getting into a comfortable position, apparently not going anywhere.
Kotetsu has never had to lean on somebody before.
The thought makes him smile.
The wedding ring is warm when they interlace their fingers.
It is the first time in years that it feels out of place.
But for now, that is all he can manage.