I can see. The jealousy in their eyes, and hear the envy of their tone. I can only grieve, and hope that they learn. They need to know that life comes with pain, and the way we live isn't always great. Don't tell them the ups. Tell them the downs. They need to think. Before they drown. Teach them a lesson. Don't bail them out. Love them tough. Hate the crowd.

~Jay Bryant

Being different is a good thing, even when it isn't. That's what I've always been told, that being different is the best thing you can be for yourself. That to be like everyone else is boring, but to be different is a unique, an adventure waiting to happen. But when people talk about you, you can't help but listen, even if you don't want to hear what they are saying. But no matter how hard you try, there is always this part deep down inside you that wants to hear every word they are saying about you. And that small part inside you, the one that screams at you every night when you're alone in the dark. It's the part that hurts you the most. You're okay, even if you're not. You are strong even when you're weak. Everyone tries to convince you that the reason people talk about you is because they are jealous of you, they want to be like you but they can't be you and will never be you, so they make fun of you instead. I'll never understand this concept of human behaviour, if someone is jealous of you then why make fun of everything they want to be? I don't know if it will ever make sense. And of someone is jealous of you, then why do people always find new victims to pray upon, does making fun of the same person get boring after a while? Is it that after all the rumours and lies they've spread, totally and utterly breaking the person, does the hunt become less appealing? And if so, then how can anyone say that they were ever jealous of someone else? Life is painful even when you feel numb, no matter how far you go, you will never get away from the pain. Some people would rather end it all, because life is too painful to bare and they can't see a reason to carry on. But even through all the pain and hardship; there is always something or someone out there that will keep you going.

There is always something to numb the pain, and sometimes it's a little hard to find and it may take years. But if you give up you'll never find your will to stay. And through all of that struggle to find the one thing that will convince you to stay on this earth, you become stronger. Even if you feel like life is crushing you, pinning you against a wall so you can never escape. You're only getting stronger. So stay here and just accept it, accept that life is hard and fight for that one thing to keep you going. If you stay you'll find love within the hate. And love is stronger than anything.

—

Alex Wilder, a girl taken from nothing and given everything a person desires. A home, a roof over her head and the undying love of a mother. Alex grew up in the city of New York, going to school and having as normal a life as anyone like her to achieve. Alex had no friends, only acquaintance people she could talk to from time to time without any serious connection to them. It was the safest way to live a life like Alex's. No friends, just passer by in the hallway type buddies. Nothing more. Most would find that life style most unbearable, a lonely existence living on the sidelines with no real friends all because of a few differences between yourself and the people you walk past in the hallway. But Alex wasn't alone. Sure the life she lived was a lonely one but she wasn't alone. Who Alex had to keep her company was her mother.

Alex's mother was no ordinary woman although she looked thirty, as youthful as they come. Not a single wrinkle as yet to break into her skin. She looked young, beautiful but most were unaware of the illusion these looks cast over the eyes of the unwanted. The woman everyone saw as youthful was in fact over one hundred years old. The beautiful woman everyone saw had been a vampire since the mid 1800's Alex had never heard the story of her turning but it was promised to her one day that she would. Alex had been turned by her mother and although she had been turned as a child Alex had continued to age just like a regular child. Although she knew she wasn't human, she craved the thick velvet blood that came from the vain of one unlucky victim. She had craved it since she had been turned, there was no way she could live without it. Alex wasn't normal and her mother knew that. No vampire could sleep, they couldn't eat human food only drink blood, they couldn't walk around in the sun. These were all things vampires were deprived of. But Alex, Alex could do all those things. She could sleep, eat human food, walk in the sun without exposing herself to the humans. She was different, and her mother was the only one who knew, who loved her for who she was. She was loved for every difference within her being. Until the day she turned eighteen.

And on that day, Alex's world fell apart. She had come home after a satisfying hunt ready to celebrate her eighteenth birthday. But instead of opening the door to her mothers open arms, a birthday cake laid upon the table Alex Amelia home to find her mother in bed seemingly asleep. This confused Alex because she knew vampires didn't sleep. When she went to check on her she wouldn't wake, no matter how much Alex shook her. She felt weak, her legs had become jelly and her arms felt as heavy as lead. Tears had welled in her eyes and there was no force in the universe that could stop them from falling. "Mum" she pleaded, voice breaking. "Mum, wake up" she began to shake it was unbearable. To think, to know her mother was an immortal being and to know there was no possible way she could die, well there were very few ways a vampire could be killed, but passing in their sleep was impossible. Completely impossible.

It hurt, Alex was sure she had never felt anything worse, anything so excruciating in her life. She was too young to remember the pain of turning, but she was sure that even that wasn't as painful as this. It felt as if someone was tripping out her heart, pulling on every individual fibre until it all came undone. It was unbearable. Her mother was the only one that held her up, that supported her in her every difference. Who loved every difference within every fibre of her being and now she was gone...she was gone and Alex was all alone. She couldn't do this alone. Falling to her knees Alex held onto her mothers hand as if it were the only thing keeping her fall shattering. She was her protection and now Alex was exposed, venerable and breakable. She couldn't stop this pain, she couldn't stop the shaking that racked her body like a hurricane. Tears fell from her eyes, snot dribbling from her nose her mouth agape with unattractive sobs being ripped from her chest. The whole picture was an unattractive sight but Alex didn't care. Her mother was gone and she was all alone. Alex screamed...because that was all she could do as her mothers body shattered falling to pieces in front of her as if she were a shattered window.

And then she was gone.

It was a week later when Esme showed up to take Alex away. A week of Alex being alone laying in bed not knowing how to live. It was as if she had forgotten everything about being human. Even if she wasn't human...she was vampire either. She didn't know what she was. No matter, she had forgotten how to live. She hadn't eaten human food in days, hadn't felt the warm velvet liquid cascade down her throat as she drank from some unlucky victim. She felt numb, depressed. She held no motivation to move, to live. All she wanted was the ever so sweet release of death. But she couldn't even find the motivation to take her own life.

When Esme showed up she had sat by Alex and held her hand, talking to her, coaxing her to come with her. Esme had been friends with Alex's mother for longer than Alex had been around. She had met Esme a few times, but its been years since they last saw each other. "Hi Honey" Esme whispered taking Alex's hand in her own stroking her thumb along the back.

"She's gone Esme" Alex whimpered sniffling as she did. "How is this even possible...she died." Alex didn't attempt to stop the tears that fell from her eyes, she knew she wouldn't have succeeded.

"Alex, I know it's hard. But you have to come with me now." Esme smiled. "I'm taking you to live with me." Alex sat up, eyes wide as she looked at Esme. She hadn't changed in the years she hadn't seen her, she looked the same. Red hair, a mothers smile plastered on her pale face. But Alex was angry. And what she said next was purely created through that anger.

"What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you know she was dead!" Alex screamed. "How, tell me how you knew" Esme didn't flinch instead she wrapped Alex in her arms and kissed her forehead.

"Alice she saw what happened, I knew I had to come" Alex sobbed at her words, she couldn't help it. Her emotions were going haywire. She couldn't control them. She had never met Alice before but she had heard of her ability to see into the future...she shouldn't have been surprised that Esme would come to see her. "Alex" Esme continued pulling away from Alex to look her in the eye. "I promise, I will always look after you"

And Alex knew she was telling the truth.

She was going to be okay.