Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor the characters.

Warning! Shounen-ai (boyxboy) and sadness

A/N: Also had inspiration from "Who wants to live forever?" by Queen

The Torment

After my last fight with Grimmjow, I thought I would have stopped thinking about him but the feel of his hand as I lowered him to the ground has not left my memory. I perform all the daily tasks and extras as a substitute shinigami should which has everyone worrying about me, because I have never been known to take direct orders from anyone. I barely go into my body anymore and when I do its usually because I was forced back in by my father. Every now and then looking at the sky reminds me of him and I feel that sensation in my hand.

Why Grimmjow? Why did we have to meet as enemies? I know I am a Shinigami/Visard and you are an Espada so we could never have been lovers or could we have made it work? Why won't you answer me?

"Dammit Grimmjow! Answer me! Please answer me?" I feel the the warmth run down my cheeks as I sit in my window in Shinigami form staring at the blue sky that reminds me so much of you. I remember after all the fighting was over I begged Orihime to bring you back but you had already turned into dust nothing more than dust is my love.

At first I did not even know what my heart was doing until you were gone.

"Why?" Couldn't I tell you I loved you even once. I slammed my fist into my window frame. I closed my eyes and let myself fall from my window with my eyes closed I know it probably wouldn't hurt me to bad so when I wake from this free floating sensation I will continuously go higher until I can reach you my love.

The Fall

Your smile, your eyes, even your transformation I see while I fall. This time Grimmjow I should be with you. This fall will kill me. I smile and close my eyes for a better view of you. I am almost there. Someone caught me I open my eyes a little and catch a glimpse of blue then my eyes close again in a peaceful sleep.

Awakening

I look around and I am in Seirtei. What am I doing here?

"Well its about time you are awake," a voice speaks to me softly. It sounds familiar.

"What am I doing here?" I slowly open my eyes.

"You jumped again BAKA!" Renji yells in my face.

"so?" I ask. I have no reason to be anymore.

"Because, I love you," I bolted up.

"Grimmjow?" My love was kneeling right beside me and I had no idea or have I truly lost it?

He was wearing a captains uniform and his hair was slightly longer but it was him alright. "How?"

Renji explained that at the moment I grabbed his hand he felt his love for me and regained a soul and being that time moves differently in the spiritual plains Grimmjow happened to just appear a few days ago right next to where the captain examinees were being tested and since he was a little confused he took the exam and "now here he is a Captain." Renji smiled as he left the room.

"Grimmjow your alive?"

"You aren't thinking you could defeat me are you?" There is that excited expression he always had before our fights

"Grimmjow?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, you are never allowed to disappear on me again, if you do I will follow."

He smiled. "I love you too and remember you are mine and are in no way allowed to get hurt."

A/N: I will be doing a follow up story including on how others take the news that Grimmjow is still alive along with what other things did Ichigo do to ease is his pain.