Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi!

Authors note: This is my first attempt at fanfiction. Please leave me feedback! You all should know that in this story Drop the World did not occur! Big thanks to those of you who helped me with this story!

Eli opened the door to his bedroom. He was relieved to be home from school. It had been a miserable day and all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep before Cece arrived home. He knew once she did, he would be bombarded by questions about his day. He threw his book bag into the corner of his bedroom, catching a quick glimpse of the mess it landed on. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard trying not to have a panic attack.

Eli ran over to his nightstand drawer and grabbed the medication that his therapist suggested he try. He had to admit, it worked. He had been able to dispose of most of the junk in his room without having the familiar feelings of anxiety overcome him. Looking at what was still left always made him feel uneasy, but he never had the time to finish up. Taking one of his pills instantly made him feel more at ease. He flopped back on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He laid there for a few minutes, just to take in the blissful silence. He ignored any thoughts that threatened to take away his peaceful state and slowly drifted off to sleep. Just minutes after escaping to the world of dreams, he was pulled back to reality by his phone ringing loudly in his pocket. He groaned as he reached for it, and then again when he saw it was a text from Clare.

I'm sorry.

Eli wasn't really up for having a discussion, so he decided to just accept the apology.

It's fine, Clare.

Seconds later his phone went off again. Somehow he knew it wouldn't be that simple to end this conversation.

Can we talk about it?

Eli was becoming increasingly angry as he read each word. The memories of the day's events were flooding over him.

No. I really just need to think, okay?

He tried to remain calm. He honestly didn't even want to think, but he knew it would get Clare to stop texting him.

Okay. Call me later.


Okay Clare.

Eli threw his phone on his bed and tried to push the reoccurring thoughts out of his mind. The thoughts were persistent in slipping back in every time. Soon enough Eli was deep in flashbacks.

*Flashback to school that day*

"Good morning, Edwards," Eli said walking up to Clare's locker and giving her his signature smirk.

"Morning Eli," the blue-eyed girl replied. She leaned in for a quick kiss and hoped no one would see their public display of affection.

"Gross!" Eli and Clare heard Adam proclaim loudly as he walked past them to head into his classroom. Both of them started laughing and then continued to talk until they heard the bell.

"I guess that's my cue to get to class," Clare said, with a grin.

"I guess so, but not before you agree to meet me after school. I planned a little date for us," Eli said excitedly.

"Aww, how sweet of you Eli."

"Just something special for my girl," Eli said as he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder as they began walking down the hall.

"I'll be there, Eli," Clare said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking into her classroom.

Eli was left standing in the hallway and he couldn't help but be excited for the rendezvous he had planned out in his mind. When he noticed he was completely alone he realized that he needed to get to class. He walked down the hallway and took a seat next to his best friend, Adam, in class. Eli saw the boy give him a mocking smile as he sat down, which he chose to ignore. He waited impatiently for class to end so that he would be one class closer to spending some quality time with Clare.

The bell sounded and Eli dashed out of class hoping to meet Clare outside of hers and walk her to the next class.

"Hello m'lady," Eli said sneaking up behind Clare.

"Hey Eli. I'm glad you're here," Clare responded nervously and Eli could instantly tell something was up.

"Spit it out, Edwards."

"Well, I-I know I said I'd go on that date with you after school, but someone really needs my help."

Eli's mood was instantly crushed.

"Who?" he asked.

"Well uhm, actually it's Fitz. He text messaged me while was in class."

"Ha! You're kidding right?" Clare, you can't seriously blow me off for Fitz right now," Eli retorted.

"I'm sorry Eli. He's having trouble with his family again and I just want to be there for him."

"Yeah whatever. Blow off your boyfriend for the asshole who tried to stab him." Eli laughed. "I should have saw this coming."

"I can't just let him deal with this alone, Eli. He needs someone." Clare said pleadingly.

"Okay Clare. Have fun with Fitzy-boy," Eli said with a sarcastic tone walking away and leaving her to walk to class on her own.

*Eli's Room*

Eli sat up on his bed. He was way more upset over Clare blowing him off then he allowed her to see. Eli realized he had a lot to think about. He got up and walked over to his closet where he took out a shoe box and set it down on his bed. Sitting down next to it, he opened it up to reveal its contents. Inside the box was everything he could save from the few months he and Clare had been together.

He looked at the watch Clare gave him that belonged to her dad. He remembered standing there at his locker when Clare gave it to him. He also remembered how this very watch was the cause of Clare finding out about his hoarding. A smile brushed across his face. If it wasn't for that watch he might still be silently suffering. Setting the watch on his bed he took out other things from the box. His ticket to Vegas night was the first thing to catch his eye. That night sucked, but it was the first dance he went to as Clare's boyfriend. Even if she wasn't his date to the dance, that day was still special to him in some way. Next, he came across his Clara Edwin story and laughed as he remembered Clare calling her a floozy. It was the first piece of his writing that Clare had edited for him, and though he'd never admit it to her, his first draft was really terrible.

He took out his DVD copy of the Romeo and Juliet project that he had completed with his two best friends. Memories of his first kiss with Clare flashed through his mind. At the time, it was just for a project but he knew it meant so much more. That was the kiss that started it all. Eli looked back into the box and held his ticket to the Chuck Palahniuk reading from his first date with Clare. Memories once again flooded his mind, as he reached up to touch his pierced ear. Can I convince you to stay out for some contraband kissing? The sound of her voice was so clear in his mind.

Eli scooped up all the items as he lay back on his bed again. He clutched all the items in his hands, as if holding them tightly would bring those good moments back. Lately everything was so different. He and Clare spent more time fighting than not. Ever since Fitz returned she had been spending an awful lot of time with him. Eli had expressed his concerns about it with Clare, but she insisted it was strictly her helping him with family problems.

The boy put down all of the memorabilia from his adventures with Clare, and shoved them back into the shoebox, where they belonged. Instead of just lying there, Eli reached for a piece of blue glass that laid hidden on his nightstand. He'd acquired it as a young boy, on one of his hunting trips with Bullfrog. He didn't know why he'd picked it up, or why he kept it, but it always seemed to remind him of better times, whenever he was distressed. His mind drifted back to his dilemma with Clare and Fitz, and Eli felt the anger he felt towards Fitz rise inside of him. Right now, the Neanderthal was probably making googly eyes at Clare. His girlfriend.

Eli grew furious as he thought about the few times he had caught Fitz flirting with Clare when they didn't know he was around. The most recent was when Eli went to meet Clare at The Dot and walked in just in time to see Fitz brushing Clare's hair behind her ear and staring lovingly into her eyes. He remembered storming towards them and screaming at Fitz, which only caused Clare to become angry with him.

It seemed Fitz was always putting stress on their relationship. He was slowly inching himself in between the two of them. He knew just what to do to make Eli seem like the bad guy. Thinking more and more Eli realized these were things he couldn't handle anymore. He was tired of the constant fighting. All the good memories he had with Clare suddenly didn't seem like enough. As he contemplated the answer to the very important question on his mind he grew increasingly angry. His hands began to ball up tightly and his breathing became heavier. He could feel himself starting to lose it.

"Shit!" Eli screamed loudly, sitting up and throwing the piece of glass in in his hands hard against his bedroom wall. It shattered, and Eli felt a part of him regret what he just did. His hand was bleeding, because of that stupid trinket, blood dripping down towards the floor. Everything was wrong. So wrong, and he knew there was no way to fix this broken mess. The answer was now quite clear in his mind. He reached for his phone, allowing his fidgety fingers to dial the number that had been imprinted in his mind.

"Hello," the voice on the other end said.

"Hey Clare. Meet me at The Dot in ten, please."

"Is everything okay?" Clare asked. Her tone expressed great concern.

"We need to talk."