Hi everyone! I thought I'd try and write a new one shot to try and get over my writers block. And I think it worked! Hopefully. I just got this idea, partly from my degrassi bestie WestCoastTrees, go read her stories they are my favorite! I don't want to ramble so please review and tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, if I did, ECLARE WOULD BE BACK TOGETHER TOMORROW!
Eli's P.O.V
Panicked.
That's what I was feeling. I couldn't control it, my hands were shaking I couldn't concentrate. I needed to leave this room, I needed to find Imogen. I don't know what class she has though, and then I'll get detention for roaming the halls, they'll call my parents and Cece will be so mad.
I start to panic even more thinking about all of this and I start to feel as if I can't breath. No not now! I can't have a panic attack, not in class. I thought rapidly. I need to go cool off, maybe that will calm me down. I raised my hand shakily.
"Yes Mr. Goldsworthy?" The teacher asks. It takes me a couple seconds to think of what to say, but I finally manage to ask him permission to go to washrooms. After I get the permission I don't bother getting the hall pass, I rush out of the the room and make my way to the washroom as fast as my legs let me.
I open the door and make my way to the sink. Turning the cold water on full blast I cup my hands and after they are full of cool, soothing water I splash it in my face. After drying my face I grip the counter so tightly my knuckles turn white, looking up at myself in the mirror I notice dark circles under my eyes. I haven't had a good sleep since I was taking my anti-anxiety pills, I haven't been able to function correctly without them.
I should've never given them to Imogen, now she won't give them back, she thinks that it interferes with my writing, but the truth is, it's harder to write without them, and when I see Clare with him my anxiety gets even worst. I can't stand seeing her with him, all they do is kiss. Clare and I never kissed liked that, I'm glad we didn't because our kisses actually meant something, Clare and Jake's seem rushed and forced. And Jake doesn't seem to care about Clare as much as I did. I've seen him look at other girls the way he looks at Clare, like they are a piece of meat.
"Stop it Eli!" I say out loud to myself. I have to quit thinking about her, she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I just have to accept it.
Deciding I should probably go back to class I make my way out of the bathroom.
Keeping my head down I start to walk back to class but I soon lift my head up to see Clare Edwards coming towards me. She doesn't see me so I try not to get her attention looking back down.
"Eli?" I hear her soft voice say. I look at her try to stay calm. This is the time that I would need my pills.
"Yeah?" I ask nonchalantly. On the outside I seem calm but on the inside I am freaking out.
"Can we talk?" She asks calmly. I've heard her say this before, a couple times actually, the first time being when I was fixing Morty and I was ignoring her, and the second time being at Above The Dot.
"Can't, I have to get to class." I say simply.
"Oh okay, well see you around then I guess." She says sadly, I can even see a sparkle in her eyes, realizing that it was tears, why would she be crying though?
She started to walk away but without thinking about it I started walking towards her. I gently grabbed her arm and turn her to face me.
"What do you want to talk about about?" I said quietly, by now I was relaxed. She continued to look at her shoes and she just shrugged.
"What's wrong Clare? Come on let's sit down." I told her pulling her to the bench that was in front of the Zen Garden.
"Eli, why did you stop taking your pills?" She asked me with worry in her voice. I was shocked at her question but answered anyway.
"Well Imogen, she said that it would affect my writing." I said truthfully.
"Wait why do you even care Clare? I thought you were with that Jake guy?" I asked her before she could speak.
"I thought I was too." She said still not looking at me, but I seen a tear slowly roll down her cheek. I put my two fingers underneath her chin and lifted her head to face me. Wiping her tears away with my two thumbs I asked her what was wrong.
"He said he didn't want to be in a relationship, that he just wanted to be friends with benefits, and I was okay with that at first, but this morning, when I was going to go meet him at his locker I seen him kissing some other girl." She told me and started to cry. I did what the the first thing I thought of and pulled her towards me to hug her.
I know that I should be hurt to hear that she liked someone else but I couldn't help but feel bad for her, I mean I still have feelings for her so how could I not worry about her.
"Shh Clare it's okay, everything is okay, he doesn't deserve an amazing girl like you." I comforted. But she quickly pulled away and looked at me with guilt in her eyes.
"Amazing girl? Eli I am far from amazing. I hurt you, so bad. This was probably karma, from leaving alone in the hospital and breaking up with you. I'm so sorry Eli." She cried harder.
"Clare don't ever say you aren't amazing, you helped me so much throughout our relationship. I was the one in the wrong here, not you. I put so much pressure on you, no fifteen year old should have that much to deal with. I should be the one saying sorry." I said. It was true, everything I said was true, Clare was put under so much stress that she had no choice but to break up with me, I finally realize that.
"I miss you Eli, I miss being around you and Adam." She said as her tears slowly stopped falling.
"I miss you too and so does Adam." I replied. She smiled and hugged me, I instantly hugged her back.
"Can we hang out after school?" She asked, her voice slightly muffled since her face was buried in my chest. I smiled was wide at her suggestion.
"Of course, that sounds, perfect." I say smiling. She pulls away from our hug and stands up and smiles down at me.
"I have to get back to class, but I'll see you after school?" She says. I nod and she makes her way to her classroom, but not before turning around and waving at me while walking backwards slowly. I waved back and got up.
As I walked back to class I remembered the whole reason why I left class.
To calm down, because I was having a panic attack, but as soon as Clare and I talked it was like I completely forgot about all my worries. Like I didn't need my anti-anxiety pills at all.
Even though Clare partly caused me to have this anxiety, she is also helping me.
Please review to tell me what you think :)