A/N: I am back, dear Merlin been too damn long. Firstly, do not murder me. The plot bunnies disappeared but when they came back...yeah...know why the expression mulitply like rabbits, so yeah book two. I have nearly the entirity of the story within my head and have till Friday to deliver at least two chapters. To the previous, welcome back, and to those that are new. Pleaae read Behind Tough Exterior or you will be sorely confused...maybe...havent mapped chapters out yet.

Please enjoy chapter one as we set off another part of Severus's life.

~S~

Chapter One:

There is no sunlight down where I am, a proverbial hell of sorts, I think of nothing and hope it eases the pain. So much has happen in so little time. The pain is real, it lives and breathes just as my heart does, it pulses systematically through my nerves. Every fiber, bone, and muscle ache, a deep penetrating hurt that not only is dulling my senses but is causing mass lapse in time frame. I do not wonder for a moment what I have done to deserve this, it is all too clear. The Vow. I had failed...

I awake gasping for air as my lungs constrict from apparent lack of use, sweat clings to every single hair that stands on end and causes me to shiver as the cold washes over me. The pin pricks of hair lining my jaw and underneath are sharp as I swipe the sweeat from my face, had it all been a dream? There is a soft sound of fabric rustling as I look around the very dark room, the fire having gone out hours ago by the looks of the logs. Clarisa is staring at me with fearful eyes, tears silently coursing their way down her cheeks, a sudden irrational fear grips me. I notice we are not alone and then it hits me, I am not where I had fallen sleep, or was that a dream too?

I look around the room once more, four walls with white paint, a single wooden door with a small window. A monitor spelled to track my vitals and magic, and lastly a single bed with white sheets that I am in. A hospital, that is where I am. I flex my right hand and flinch as pain shoots up my arm and to my back, just what in the hell has happened. I glance to my side and see Clarisa sleeping awkwardly within a chair next to the bed, her hand is curled within mine and I flex my fingers this time. Slowly but surely her eyes flutter open and she gasps, fully coming onto the bed to embrace me, I think nothing of it till my body hashly protests and a groan of pain escapes my lips as white hot bolts of pain take their course.

"Do I need to ask?"

The words come out humorless as I look at her, my brows furrowed and lips thin. I shiver as I pull the blanket around my shoulders, what I would not give to have my cloak with me. She grabs my attention by sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand resting upon her abdomen. I briefly glance but instead look to her face,

"What?" I ask skeptically.

"Severus," My gut tightens. "You have been in St. Mungos for a month now,, I-I though I had lost you at one point. You stopped breathing and your lips, oh gods, they were blue. I-"

I embrace her and allow her to say no more, I feel her body shaking within my arms and I hold tight, pressing her body to mine, pain be damned.

"This is not how I imagined our honeymoon."

I feel her chuckle at my dry humor and I catch her rubbing her abdomen again, I wonder if it is a habit that I had not noticed before, I dismiss the idea as quickly as it had formed. That was not what mattered. I hold fast still and allow myself to relax, my chin resting upon her silky hair, her body heat warming me as I bring her as close as humanly possible. I revel in the fact that this wickly beautiful and intelligent witch is mine, just a month ago I was holding her hands, looking at the white silk dress hugging her curves as I said my vowes to always protect and love her. Her vowes had struck deep, a cord of emotion I had long since lost reverberated within me at her words. I knew then and I know now; as I continue to hold her, that her words are more true than anything I have ever heard or belived.

"What happened?" I ask softly into her hair.

"The potion," She pauses and squeezes my arm before continuing. "It did not leave your system, it is all my fault, I didn't know."

Clarisa begins to cry again.

"Did not know what?" I say a bit too forcably.

"It-I-Nearly killed you...again." She hiccups and I press her close once more when she tries to move. "Severus..."

"Hush. I am fine obviously-"

"No!"

My hackles go on end as I am cut off, I glare at her and see at least some remorse for her actions. She places a hand on my cheek and leans her forehead against mine,

"I love you, always have. But I cannot forgive myself, watching you in our bed, the night we got married will be a nightmare I will never forget." She presses her lips against mine and I melt in place, oh how I missed these kisses. She breaks it to look in my eyes, "You are not fine as you so eloquently put it, the potion I gave you and subsequent not adding the roots was not suppose to remain, there should have been no reason for it to still be in your system but it was-is."

I say nothing as a sliver of pain shoots through me.

"Best and easiest way I can put this is, you technically died then came back."

Both my brows raise identically at her words, I open my mouth but she leans back and puts a fonger to my lips.

"Our alchemy, my mothers and mine, saved you. As long as we live, our magic tethers your very existence to us."

Ironic is the first word that pops into my head, did Harry not have this exact fate put upon him. Neither can live while the other survives. Guess in my case it is backwards, neither can die while the other lives. I shake my head, this is something I rather not think about. I bring her back to me and lean back against the bed, despite her words and her confort, a cold dread spreads through me.

My eyes drift close as I lay with her, soft wisps of breath ghost across my exposed collor bone. I shiver, the thin excuse of a hospital gown does no good to keep any body heat in. Only one thing is occupying my mind, her words about me being tethered to her and her mother. Was it fate that had brought us together, allowed me to kill her father and subsequently make her mother vanish? Did it mean that if something happen to them, would I perish too?

The door opens and closes softly as I open my eyes, Minvera has yet to look my way,

"Minvera."

Said woman nearly jumps out of her own skin and whirls around to face me, remorse is plainly evident but as her eyes meet mine, tears soon brim and roll down her cheeks.

"Oh Severus," Why is it when she says my name I feel as if I am in trouble once again? "Don't you ever do that again, you understand me."

I raise a brow but say nothing as she sits down in the chair, her eyes never leaving mine and I believe that she thinks I am going to fall back into the state I was once in. My fingers subconsciously run through Clarisa's hair as I continue to look at the woman before me, Minerva is looking as if she wants to say something but one glance at Clarisa and she pushes her lips together. I look down to the beautiful girl lying in my lap, curled in on herself while she fights whatever nightmare is plaguing her now.

"How do you feel Severus?" Minerva askes quietly.

"Like I have been dragged through hell and back. Nothing compared to serving tenure with Albus and Riddle but I will live."

Minerva raises a brow and I try to shrug but it hurt even doing that when my mind is not otherwise occupied, guess she didn't see the humor in that statement.

"You cannot expect me to believe such a pitiful lie Severus."

"Actually yes I do," I growl at her. "I expect you not to come and harass me when I don't even know why I am here."

"I can answer that mister Snape," Minerva and myself look to the man who had just entered the room, he shifts under our scrutiny. "You are here for observation, it seems you are awake now-"

"Obviously." I rebuttle with such a deadpan tone it makes Minerva fight not to chuckle.

"-and have your motor functions back." I scowl as I know there is an insult somewhere in there. "I believe you can be released, but, I expect you to take the required potions I assign and be back here in one month's time. Acceptable?"

"Yes." I all but nearly snap at the man.

"Good, I will fill out the necessary forms to get you on your way."

I watch the man retreat and as soon as the door closes I can hear Minerva lose the battle not to laugh, I scowl at her but it makes no difference as she continues on. My misfotune must be absolutely hilarious. She finally calms herself,

"Oh do not look at me like that. Even death can't tame that tongue of yours." Minerva leans forward and places a hand on my shoulder. "It is good to have you back my friend."

She stands just as Clarisa stirs from her slumber and I notice her grip my arm then sag in relief, Minerva smiles before turning to walk to the door, she pauses.

"I expect you to be fully capable of returning September first to resume your role as head of Slytherin and Potions master."

Without waiting for a response, I watch her disappear, that woman will be the death of me, not this damned potion.