You Have to Fall to Fly
By: Mayhem
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Kingdom Hearts. I just had an idea and it fitted.
Notes: This is the first KH fic I've written, though I've read oodles of them. And… I just had this idea, while trying to think of other fandoms I should read or write for. This is just simple, nothing to special, but I like it.
xxx
The sun was setting over the small town, a view observed by a young blond boy sitting on top of the clock tower. It was a scene he watched every day he wasn't on a mission, this setting sun, and yet it never got old. It was his recharge point, the place where he felt most comfortable and where it all just clicked.
He waited, as usual, licking his sea salt ice cream bar. His mind was blissfully blank, no troubles weighed on him today. He heard a noise, the slight scuff of boots on stone, and knew his wait was over. The one he awaited had arrived. He didn't turn to look, just kept his attention on the sunset. Another scuff as the new arrival moved closer, stopping a foot a way, and standing on the very edge of the clock tower. Curious as to why he hadn't sat down and was standing so close, the boy turned to look at the other.
"Do you ever stand at the edge of a high point and get the urge to jump?"
"No. And don't think about it, Axel. I don't want to have to explain that to the Superior."
The late-comer, Axel, laughed. "I won't. It's just something I heard. That people get this feeling to jump."
"We're nobodies, we don't have feelings."
"Okay, you have a point, Roxas, but we do get urges like that, sometimes, yeah?"
Roxas paused and thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose. Why do they get the urge to fall though?"
Axel turned to him, away from the sun and met his gaze. "Because it feels like flying. Humans have been obsessed with the idea of flight for eons. Pain and Panic tell me some of the old Greek myths when I go by the Colosseum. Icarus and his wings. And Herc can fly, he has Pegasus. But the mortals don't have anything like that."
"They have planes, don't they? That's flying."
"And hot air balloons, gliding and probably more."
"Then why would they want to fall off a building so that they can feel like they are flying?"
"Because, it's not the same!" Axel looked out again towards the sun and over the courtyard below them. "Flying in a plane is not nearly the same as the sensation of what it must be like to be a bird, to feel wings burst from your back and lift you from the fall. Wings that can carry you up and away and across any distance. That's what humans want."
"It sounds ridiculous."
"That's because we can go to Never Never Land and fly whenever we want. Did you know that flying is a lot like love?"
"How would I know that? We're nobodies, Axel. We don't feel it, and I barely grasp the idea of it. I know it is... strong feelings. A special one. More then all the others."
"It's very special." Axel agree, finally sitting down next to Roxas and pulling out his own sea salt ice cream from some pocket on his coat. "They say things like they've fallen in love. And when they have fallen in love, they feel a sensation like flying. Their hearts soar up and fill all big – like a balloon! It swells, because they have so much love in them for the other human. So it's different feelings then the ones they have with other humans that they don't love, or are not in love with.
"The books also said that sometimes, people fall out of love, it crashes and burns. Which sometimes happens with flying too. Like Icarus. Like planes do sometimes. It just... ends."
"But if it's such a strong feeling, how can it just end like that?" Roxas asked. Axel was right, there were a lot of similarities between flying and love.
"I don't know, Roxas. I read the books, but I didn't really understand it. You're right, if it's so powerful and special, how can it just end? I think it depends on the humans a lot. Humans are fickle. Birds can't fly forever with no rest, they would fade away too. I guess, like birds, humans have to keep working to keep the wings of their love flapping."
"Mmm. I guess that does make sense. How come you were reading these books anyways? Ones about love? Where did you find them?"
"Other worlds. The castle doesn't have them, we don't have interesting books there. The way that the Superior is always going on about hearts and how we don't have them or feelings and kingdom hearts... I guess I just got curious and wanted to know more."
Roxas nodded, sucking on the last of his ice cream bar. "It sounds risky. Falling, flying, love. Maybe we should be glad we don't have hearts if they're so fragile."
"It sounds like they are fragile and strong, though I don't know how they can be both. It can be strong and brave, like Sora's. Or fragile like a human in love and it can get broken."
"Yeah... Sora has a very strong heart."
"He does. If you had a heart, I think it would be a strong one too."
"You do?" Roxas looked to his friend questioningly. He'd never before thought what his heart would be like if he had one.
Axel nodded. "I do. I think I would too. But I might have moments of weakness."
"Weakness? Your heart would have a weakness for what?"
"You." Axel answered, shifting slightly on his perch. "If I had a heart, I'd be really upset when you got hurt in battles. I'd feel longing when you were gone for weeks on a mission. I'd feel happiness when you were around. If someone threatened you, I'd have to protect you."
"But Axel... you do those things now, don't you? You always scold me when I come back injured. You get excited when I get back to the castle. You protect me from the other nobodies and sometimes from danger."
"Yeah, you're right, I do all those things. But since we don't have hearts, I don't think it's love, do you?"
"I don't know. It sounds a lot like what you said the books have. Right?"
"I guess it's just not something we're meant to understand, Roxas."
Roxas sat quietly for a moment, thinking it all over. He did similar things with Axel, making sure he didn't burn down the castle, getting happy when Axel was around. He'd always just thought it was because they were friends.
"No, I guess not. It doesn't sound like humans understand it much either."
It was Axel's turn to sit quietly as they stared out towards the setting sun. "At least we can understand that we're friends, and that's not changing anytime soon."
"That's good to know." Roxas commented, giving Axel a smile. He pulled his legs back onto the tower, and carefully stood up. "Still no urge to jump. Come on, we need to be getting back."
"All right. Hey, want to go to Never Never Land later?"
Roxas laughed. "Yeah, sure. Maybe a few laps around the clock tower there, and we'll understand love."
Axel joined in his laughter. "Probably." He opened up the dark portal that would return them to the castle. "After you, my dear Roxas."
xxx