Leo takes a quick stock of their surroundings, the scant light from the small, sputtering flame illuminating what little it can. His dogged insistence on keeping it alive, feeding it what little kindling he has available to him, is all that stands between them and complete, unyielding darkness. Stalactites throw harsh, claw-like shadows across the jagged walls. The effect brings to mind some infernal beast flexing and unflexing its talons in an almost profane mockery of a kitten's kneading, and he shivers involuntarily at the sight.
He looks to Raphael, the red-clad bruiser sitting at the cave's entrance simply staring at the sheets of cascading rain. He glares angrily at the downpour as if expecting the stormclouds to turn tail and run, intimidated by a harsh look.
"Want some jerky?" Leo asks, rifling through the small pouch at his belt. "Its teriyaki style. Pretty good, actually."
"Thanks," Raph mutters. He takes the meat offered him without relinquishing his gaze from the raging squall, refusing to lose a staring contest even to the elements. Leo watches his strong jaw muscles work as he chews, the boy looking angry even as he eats. He can't help but chuckle slightly at the sight, earning a sharp look from his sibling.
"The fuck you laughin' at?" Raph hotly demands, his emerald-hued glare boring into him.
"Nothing," Leo answers with a quick shake of the head. He sidles slightly closer to him, runs a finger down the splint holding Raph's fractured tibia in place. "You holding up okay?"
"I'm fine, get the fuck offa me," he replies, inching away from him.
"C'mon Raph, don't be like that. There's absolutely no shame in admitting when you need help."
"I don't need help."
"I needed help," Leo says quietly, "when I was comatose. And you were there for me the entire time. Let me be there for you now."
"That was different Leo, and ya know it."
"How so?"
"Ya got beaten into a coma fightin' off the entire Foot clan by yourself," Raph goes on. "And I got hurt trippin' over a fuckin' log. Just leave me alone, okay? Shit."
They fall into a uneasy silence once again, the blast of thunder just beyond the cave's mouth seeming to accentuate the tension. Leo can just barely make out the swelling river in the distance, the water's edge already overtaking the flora closest to it. A bolt of lightning neatly bisects the roiling sky as he looks on.
"I'm sorry you got hurt, Raph," he explains, breaking the silence. "I didn't mean for this to happen. This exercise was meant to build trust and foster a deeper understanding between both sets of partners, and I...I guess I'm just not the leader Sensei believes me to be. I'm sorry."
"I hate it when ya do that shit, Leo!" Raph gripes, leveling an accusing finger at the eldest. "That stupid, passive-aggressive, 'woe-is-me' bullshit! Always tryin' to make yourself the victim, no matter what!"
"I was being sincere."
"Like shit ya were!" Raph spits, pulling himself onto his unsteady legs with the help of a makeshift walking stick. "Ya know what? Fuck it. I'm headin' back to the house, I don't care if I hafta crawl back. I ain't stayin' one more minute here with your stupid ass."
"It isn't safe, Raph!" Leo says as he heads toward the entrance, barring the hothead's access. "Let's just wait till morning, I'm sure the storm will be over by then."
"Get outta my way, Leo," Raph demands, his tone low and menacing.
"No," Leo says adamantly. He stands firm before his irate brother, his eyes never wavering from the brawler's.
He eventually capitulates, as Leo knew he would. Raph is as exhausted by the day's events as he is, and injured to boot. The forest-green terrapin turns brusquely away and plops heavily down on the ground with a grunt, as far away from his brother as possible.
"Just stay the fuck away from me, alright?" He says after awhile, scrutinizing the storm once more.
Leo does as he is bade, sequestering himself near their paltry campfire. He busies himself tending to it, tosses another stick into the flames. It flickers and belches, the light it issues barely that of a single candle.
"You always act like being in my presence is this huge chore," He pipes up suddenly.
"Here we go again with the bullshit," Raph says, rolling his eyes.
"We used to be so close, Raph," Leo continues, his voice barely above a whisper. "When we were kids. We did everything together, kept no secrets from each other. We were inseparable...Now look at us. You can barely stand to be in the same room with me. After I was hurt, when I came to...you were the first one I saw. You were there for me the entire time, believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. You pushed me to keep going, and I am indebted to you for helping me recover so quickly.
"And I thought things had gone back to the way they used to be, when we were the best of friends. It made me happy to have you by my side again. History has a tendency to repeat itself I suppose, 'cause here we are, at eachother's throats all over again. How did a rift manage to form between us again? I can't help but feel like I'm to blame, like I should've done something sooner..."
"I know what your tryin' to do Leo, and it ain't gonna work." Raph remarks. "Your tryin' to play the victim again, tryin' to make me the bad guy and yourself the center of attention. Oh poor widdle Leo, boo-fuckin'-hoo. Gimme a break."
"Why don't you shut the fuck up for once, Raph?"
Raph looks to the future leader of their clan sitting so forlornly near the fire, his eyes wide as dinner plates. Its feeble glow, there only by the grace of Leo and his slavish devotion to its upkeep, illuminates his bowed form. Under normal circumstances he'd pound anyone into pudding for having the gall to speak to him in such a manner. Instead, he simply laughs. A loud, raucous guffaw bursts forth, his shoulders shaking from the intensity of it.
"...That was a first. I must've really pissed ya off, huh?" a newly chastised Raph says, flicking a tear from his ethereal green eye. "Don't think I ever heard ya use naughty words before. Didn't think ya had it in ya, to be honest."
"I'm sorry," Leo says, looking to the turbid sky. "I shouldn't have cussed at you."
"'S alright," he says, shrugging. "And anyway, I kinda like seein' ya all pissed off."
"That certainly explains a lot."
"Leo, listen," he says. "We're brothers. We're supposed to fight. We fight, we make up, we fight some more, we make up some more, ad nauseum till the day we die. Even then, we'll probably keep the tradition goin' in Heaven or Nirvana or Valhalla or wherever the fuck we're headed."
"I know, I just think...I think there's more to this than can be explained by mere sibling rivalry or whatever."
"...Such as?"
"Raph, I have to be completely honest with you right now," Leo says with a sigh, his eyes remaining transfixed on the heavens as he speaks. "I had a bit of an ulterior motive when planning this trip; This wasn't simply a training exercise, and you and I weren't paired off by sheer happenstance. I so seldom have the opportunity to be alone with you these days, and I...I know you're deliberately avoiding me. I just wanted a chance to be able to talk to you, one-on-one, without any distractions. I wanted the opportunity for us to be honest and open with each other."
"Well, mission accomplished Dear Leader. Ain't that what we're doin' right now?"
"...Let me finish."
Leo sighs deeply once again, turns his head away for a brief moment before he continues. He suddenly seems so vulnerable then, so young and...frightened. Raph can see a deep, all-consuming melancholy in his countenance, and wonders why he hadn't noticed it before.
It is in that briefest of moments, an increment of time so infinitesimal, that he sees Leo. The real Leo, stripped of all the "great leader" posturing and bravado, devoid of his rank within the clan and their family and all the responsibilities that come with it. Raph can see, if only for a second, what he truly is; A child thrust into a scenario that very few, if any, can lay claim to. A little boy playing make-believe with his father's clothes, blood-soaked garments that will be his before he is even old enough to fit into them.
"Go ahead," he says softly in response. "I'm listening."
"You know how in movies, when someone is in a coma and there's always a dedicated friend or family member by their side?" Leo continues, inhaling deeply. "They stay with the comatose person the entire time, tend to the person's needs, talk to them? And there's always someone else who says something to the effect of, 'You know he can't hear you, right? He's in a coma, he has no idea what's going on' and whatever...?"
"Where ya goin' with this, Leo?"
"And then later on in the movie the person awakens from their coma and turns to whoever it was who stayed by them and says, 'I knew you were there the whole time and I heard everything'?"
Raph falls silent, his heart hammering in his chest.
"Turns out its true."
The green-eyed boy wants nothing more than to run headlong into the storm and as far away from this accursed cave as possible, broken leg be damned. His brain and body seem to be in accordance with one another for once; He feels like he's about to jump right out of his skin, his limbs buzzing and surging with adrenaline. Beads of sweat appear on his forehead despite the chill in the air and his eyes dart wildly about, like a caged animal looking desperately for an escape route.
"It felt like I was in a dream or something," Leo goes on, matter-of-factly. "I could hear everything, feel everything, that was going on around me, and I wanted so desperately to get up but I couldn't. It was like I was trapped inside my own body and all I wanted to do was scream, but I couldn't even do that. When I woke up I acted surprised when April said you stood vigil over me the whole time, only because I was afraid you'd be embarrassed."
"Leo, I..."
"I should be flattered, really. I mean, did you think I was Sleeping Beauty or something?"
Raph feels as though an unbearable weight has suddenly descended upon him as Leo speaks, expelling all the oxygen from his lungs. His breathing becomes labored, coming out in short, shallow gasps, and his heart pounds so hard he fears it'll burst out of his chest like a xenomorph. He wants to run but he is glued to the spot, alternately terrified and disgusted by what is transpiring.
"All this time," Leo says, grief-stricken. "It used to confuse me so much; How you'd vacillate between being my dearest, most trusted ally to my worst enemy, how you'd support me one minute and try to punch me in the face the next. I'm so ashamed of myself for not realizing it sooner, for taking so damn long to see what was right in front of my face all this time. You...you developed feelings for me, didn't you? And you were disgusted by it. You hated yourself for it, and you hated me in response."
"...You're partially right," Raph begrudgingly concedes.
"Care to elaborate?" Leo says, almost pleading.
"I-I was disgusted with myself...but I never hated you," he manages to stammer out. "Not once. Not then, not now. I just felt so...confused. I didn't understand why this was happening and I didn't know what to do and I...I..."
"Why didn't you just say something, Raph?"
"What'd ya want me to say, Leo!?" He rages, his voice shrill and panicked as it reverberates against the craggy walls of their temporary shelter. "That I'm a freak, a fuckin' pervert?"
"If you're a freak and a pervert," Leo calmly replies, looking to him with those intensely blue eyes, "then so am I."
"L-Leo?"
Leo edges closer to him, wary at first, carefully gauging Raph's reaction. The sai wielder cannot meet his eyes however, shame holding him in its thrall. He keeps his gaze trained to the ground, neither overtly receptive to Leo's advance nor actively pushing him away. Leo is only an inch away from him now, sitting on his knees before him.
"When I heard you begging me to wake up," he says, cupping Raphael's chin, forcing his emerald eyes to meet his sapphire ones, "when I felt your lips pressed against mine...All I wanted, more than anything in the world, was to do this."
He carefully straddles Raph's good leg, mindful to not jostle the injured one. His calloused fingers drift slowly over his plates, over his collar bone and across his lips, his touch gentle, whisper-soft. He lightly cups the back of his head with one hand as the other continues exploring, trailing across his taut muscles and cool skin, drinking him in with his touch. His lips eventually hone in on Raph's, eliciting a soft moan from the red-clad firebrand.
Raph parts them slightly to allow Leo's tongue entry, delighting in the heavenly new sensation. His hands creep up Leo's shell, slowly and hesitantly. He flattens his palms against his scutes, gently pushing him closer, deepening their kiss.
Truly, he realizes, kissing Leo is a far more enjoyable and fulfilling experience when the Fearless One is fully conscious.
They part, begrudgingly, both boys breathless and panting. Raphael peers into his beloved's eyes, his hunter-green face bathed in shadow as the doomed campfire slowly fizzles out.
"Wh-what do we do now, Leo?" He inquires haltingly, beseechingly. "What'll we tell the others? They'll freak the fuck out. I mean...we're brothers for fuck's sake."
"A fact I am keenly aware of Raph, I assure you," the Fearless One states, softly caressing the boy's cheek. "And honestly? I think the others will be fine. I mean, come on. You and I together is far from the weirdest thing they've ever seen. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Heh, yeah. I guess you're right," he says with a laugh.
"And in response to your first question; It is my firm, unwavering conviction that we've got quite a bit of lost time to make up for, and I fully intend to remind you at every available opportunity how much I need you. Furthermore," Leo leans forward and kisses him sweetly upon the beak, "I really, really like kissing you. You taste like teriyaki, heh."
Leo sits down beside him, his back against the wall. He gropes around in the darkness for Raph's hand, the fire having finally given up the ghost and of which only smoldering ashes remain. The only source of light they are granted now comes in the form of lightning, sporadic, stark white radiance illumining their shivering figures.
"Colder than a witch's tit in here," Raph gripes, nestling closer to his beau.
"Yeah," Leo says, almost mournfully. "Maybe we should take a chance and head back to the house afterall."
Raph's eyes widen in the darkness and he creeps toward the fire's remains, walking stick in tow. Like one of the weird sisters churning the bubbling contents of a cauldron he stirs the ashes, the stick grasped firmly in both hands, sending bright orange pinnacles of light flittering toward the ceiling. He cracks it deftly over his good knee after some time and tosses it into the struggling conflagration, the tiny flame feasting on the dry wood with gusto. It flickers and swells and expands, its life begun anew. The boys gladly soak in the heat, crouched together before it with hands outstretched.
"Thanks for sacrificing your walking stick," Leo says with a grin, inclining his head toward its blazing remains. "I'm sure we'll find you another one in the morning for you to hobble home with."
"No biggie, Fearless. I trust ya to help me."
Leo takes him in his arms and kisses him once again as the tempest outside rages on.
He hopes it'll never end.