Chapter 1; Remembering

Jordan woke up early on the day of her birthday. She couldn't wait to see what her parents had planned for her and her brother. They always planned something exciting. Last year they took a trip to France. And she and Stephen were only turning eleven! It was their twelve birthday and she hoped they were going on another trip. As she pondered that thought, she tip-toed quietly from her room to the room right next door. She opened the door quietly and went in, closing the door just as quietly. She smirked at the figure still sleeping in bed. Walking quietly across the room, she made her way over to Stephen's bed. Without warning, she jumped onto the bed.

"Stephen! Wake up!" She said excitedly.

He just groaned under the weight of his sister and pushed at her. "Jordan, get out," he mumbled tiredly. "I'm trying to sleep."

She giggled. "I know. Exactly why I'm waking you up. Come on, up!" She said, bouncing on the bed.

"Is there a specific reason, as to why you insist I get up at…" He turned slightly to look at his clock and groaned again. "At nine thirty in the morning?" He hated it when she woke him up early. He'd rather sleep until noon like he normally did when she stayed at a friend's house.

She rolled her eyes as she plopped herself down next to him. He scrunched his nose and pulled the sheets over his head. She giggled and pulled them back down.

"Today's our birthday, silly."

"Oh well, forgive me for wanting to sleep in on the one day that is specifically meant for us."

"Come on. Mum and dad might have something planned for us. You know how they like us up and ready in case they do."

"Alright. Fine, I'll get up," he said after a moment of her staring at him with puppy eyes. He was always a push over when it came to her. As much as he loved his twin, he couldn't stand her. She always knew what to do to get her way. With anyone, not just him. Jordan squealed in excitement and made her way off the bed as Stephen pushed himself up.

"Jay," he called as she went to the door.

She turned back and looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Happy birthday, sis."

She smiled. "Happy birthday."

He shook his head as she left the room and headed to the bathroom for a shower. As soon as she left Stephen's room, Jordan went back to her room and took a quick shower and got dressed. Making sure she content on what she was wearing, she made her way down the hall and stairs and went into the kitchen. She saw her father sitting at the kitchen table but didn't see her mother.

"Daddy, where's mum?" She asked as she went to the fridge.

"She had to go to a gallery opening in Yorkshire," he said, turning the page of his paper.

Jordan sighed and pulled out some juice. "Of course she did," she mumbled, as she poured a glass of juice. "She couldn't tell them that she couldn't go?"

"Jordan, hush. This is what she does. Don't get all moody about it."

She rolled her eyes and drank some of her juice as she leaned against the counter.

"Mum gone?" Stephen asked as he came in.

"She's in Yorkshire," Jordan muttered.

"Oh."

Christopher looked over his paper to Jordan and Stephen.

"Is there ever a time where you two aren't dressed the same?"

Stephen looked down at himself then over at Jordan and smirked. They both had on some old, torn jeans and band shirts.

"It's not like we planned this, dad," Stephen said, ruffling his hair.

Jordan just rolled her eyes and finished her juice.

"Jordan, sweetheart, do you mind helping me? Your gifts and things are up in my study."

"Yeah, sure."

She set her glass down and started towards her father's study. Chris folded his paper and set it down before heading down to his study also. Stephen watched him carefully for a moment as his father followed his sister to the study. Something wasn't right about it. After another moment, he turned and went to make himself some breakfast.

**********

As Jordan went into the study, she looked around for any big boxes that her father might need help with. She turned when she heard him come in. Her eyebrows knit together when he closed the door and locked it.

"Uhm, daddy. I-I don't see any gifts to help with," she said, nervously taking a step back as he walked towards her.

Chris just smiled and continued walking towards her. Jordan had backed into his desk, a scared look on her face. She had no idea what could possibly be going through her father's head. She just knew whatever he was thinking, wasn't going to be good.

"Sweetheart, calm down," Chris said, when he was standing in front of her. "Daddy won't hurt you. I promise." With that, his hands went straight for her waist, picking her up and setting her on the desk before gripping her wrists and pressing his lips roughly against hers.

~~*~~

Jordan jolted awake from her dream and ran her hand over her face and through her hair. She still couldn't get over what her father had done to her. For three years even. She was seventeen now and no longer living in her parents home. Stephen and she left as soon as they turned sixteen. They lied about their age in order to get their own house.

She sat up in her bed and wiped her eyes clear from the tears that had begun to fall. She couldn't believe that her father would ever mess around with her. The only thought that had always came to her head when she thought about it was 'if only mum hadn't gone to Yorkshire, maybe it wouldn't have happened.' But it would've eventually. Whether her mother stayed home that day or not. It would've happened.

She glanced at the alarm clock on her night stand and sighed as she read the time. It was only two-thirty. She hadn't been asleep for that long. Couple hours the longest. She slowly and tiredly climbed out of bed and made her way to the door. There was no way she'd be able to fall back to sleep now. Not with the images of her father on top of her. She bit her lip as she tried to decide of she should go to the kitchen and get something to drink or go to her brother's room.

After those three straight years of her father messing with her, she and Stephen had gotten a lot closer than they had been before. Those terrible times with her father just emitted into her own secret relationship with her brother. They were more intimately close than any other twin she knew. She knew it was wrong. They both did. But he was there for her. More than her mother. She was able to count on her brother for everything.

He was the only one who knew about what their father did to her. She was too scared to tell anyone else. She was surprised that she was able to tell her brother. She was in hysterics when she told him. It took him forever to finally convince her to tell her everything. It was after she told him what happened that they slept together for the first time. She reveled in the feelings he gave her. Her own brother. She only thought another man could do that to her. Not her own flesh and blood.

As weird as she knew it was, it just felt normal to her. She had already been screwed by her father. But he was rough and made it hurt. He left bruises and cuts on her. Hitting her if she struggled, yelling at her if she didn't do what he asked of her. Stephen was different. He was caring, patient with her as she adjusted to everything. Every touch, every kiss. She was even grateful whenever he eased himself into her instead of ramming into her roughly.

Dressed only in one of Stephen's old band shirts and underwear underneath, she quietly headed down the hall to the kitchen. She figured she'd calm her thoughts before trying to sleep again. This was the only time she ever got those dreams. When ever it got close to their birthday, her nightmares would begin. And it was never any other time. It was always that first time. The first time her father had gotten her alone. The first time she ever felt a man inside her. The last time she'd ever be able to call herself a virgin.

She jumped slightly when she heard their puppy bark at her as she came to the kitchen. "Smokey, hush!" she said in a harsh whisper as she lightly tapped his nose. "No need to wake Stephen." Smokey just barked again and bounded out of the kitchen and into the living room. She smiled slightly and shook her head. Her fingers combed their way through her matted hair as she walked over to the fridge.

Hearing his sister up, Stephen got up from the couch, fixing his twisted boxers, and went over to the kitchen. When he went in, he spotted Jordan basically in the fridge. She was bent at the waist as she dug through it, finding…whatever it was she wanted. Stephen couldn't help but admire his sister. His eyes moved up from her bare feet that were glowing from the fridge light, up her smooth shapely legs. He smiled slightly as one knee bent and her hip dipped down a bit. The shirt she was in wasn't very long, so it didn't really cover much. Not that he minded.

He walked over to her, his bare feet not making much sound on the tiled floor, and leaned against the counter. His eyebrows furrowed together when he heard her sniffle and noticed her hand move up to her eyes.

"Jordan…are you okay?" He asked, looking at her.

Jordan jumped at the sudden voice, hitting her head on the inside of the fridge. "Ow. Shit," she muttered, pulling her head out, rubbing the back of it. She took a quick glance to the side where the voice came from and then looked back to the fridge, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, hell. Jordan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay, Stephen."

Stephen looked at his sister carefully and noticed her flushed cheeks and puffy, red eyes.

"Jordan, what's wrong?" He asked, walking over to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. Placing one hand on her cheek, he wiped away a single tear that had escaped her feeble attempts of holding them back. She just shook her head and dug her face into his chest as her arms made their way around his waist.

Stephen let out a quiet sigh and hugged his sister. His head rested against hers as he stroked her hair. "What is it, Jay?"

She shook her head against his chest. "Nothing. I…I just had that damn dream again," she mumbled.

He frowned. "A-about dad?"

"Yeah."

He sighed again and held her close. "It's okay Jordan. He can't do that to you anymore. Wanna come lay with me tonight?"

She nodded. "I was gonna go to your room, but I got thirsty."

He kissed her head. "Well, come on. We'll get you nice and cozy. Okay?" He said looking down at her with a small smile.

She looked up at him and smiled slightly. "Yeah."

He wiped her cheeks again and kissed her lightly before leading her down the hall to his room. Pushing open his door, he let her get settled in his bed as he flipped on the little lamp next to his bed. He crawled in next to her and she immediately snuggled in against him. He smiled and wrapped his arms protectively around her. He hated their father for what he did to her. There was no way he would ever forgive him. It was just wrong. Stroking her hair, Stephen hummed quietly to her, keeping her close to him and hugged her to him until she was sound asleep.

He kissed her forehead lightly when he hear deep, steady breaths come from her and closed his eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep himself.