The sun had risen in the sky, promising another clear day in August. The temperature had already hit 95 degrees at 9am. A record high that early in the day. Although, a record usually is an achievement of some kind. It sure didn't feel like it to Rigby. The raccoon sweated profusely as he helped his best friend Mordecai drag some rakes and a trash can out to where they had to rake the leaves. Another regular day at the park, despite the near triple digit temperatures.
Though, Rigby attempted to convince himself that he hated the fact that he worked and lived at that park, he knew deep inside that this was the only place that would socially accept him. He hated to admit that he was always an outcast of sorts in high school. Hell, nearly everybody that worked here were outcasts; and, though he fought with many of them on a daily basis, he knew he was happy to be around them. This didn't stop him from constantly complaining about the work and people in general.
Mordecai was probably one of the only people that actually fit well in public and worked at that park as well. Rigby looked up at his companion as the blue avian breathlessly dragged the trash can through the summer heat. Out of everyone at that park, Mordecai was easily Rigby's favorite to be around. He was his best friend since high school and they have been inseparable since. There was hardly a place Mordecai would go without Rigby at his side. Though they did bicker quite a bit. One of the few disadvantages of being practically attached at the hip; though, Rigby wouldn't have it any other way. For more reasons than one.
Both Mordecai and Rigby finally reached the designated spot their boss Benson had given them. Rigby dropped the rakes and collapsed on the ground. Mordecai gently set up the trash can and bent over to catch his breath. "Probably would have been a good idea to bring some water." Mordecai breathed.
Rigby grimaced as that same thought crossed his mind. "Yeah, would've been smart, dude."
Mordecai laughed and went to pick up a rake. Rigby quickly sat up, "Dude, what are you doing?"
"Um, picking up a rake so we can get this done?"
Rigby rolled his eyes, "You should know by now that I can't carry that trash can. So I have to do the raking."
"C'mon, dude. I get tired of hauling that thing around all the time. I should at least get a little bit of a break."
"Not when the guy covering for you can't even tilt the can."
"Because you're short."
Rigby instantly became infuriated. There were few things that set him off so quickly, but being called short was one of them. "Don't start."
"I mean, really, dude. Now that I look at it, that trash can is bigger than you!"
"Stop talking!"
Mordecai laughed wholeheartedly as he dropped the rake and went back over to the trash can. "Whatever, dude. Try not to get mistaken for a garden gnome again today."
Rigby knew that Mordecai had learned all the right buttons to push for Rigby's anger long ago. As much as he wanted to throw a good number of rebuttals at him, he thought better of it and decided it wasn't worth fighting about. He just wanted out of this heat.
The brown raccoon grumbled as he snatched up the rake and began gathering leaves. Mordecai was right behind him dragging the trashcan. Stupid Mordecai.Rigby thought.
They ended up finishing raking before evening hit. They wearily made their way back to their house. As they approached the front door, it opened to reveal Benson, their hot-headed boss.
The bubblegum machine already looked to be in a sour mood as he set eyes on the duo. "And what do you two think you're doing? Don't tell me it's time for your break, because you two undoubtedly took too many today as it is. Now I want those leaves done before sundown. If they're not, you're both fired."
Rigby was about to come back with a retort but Mordecai had already seen it coming and quickly interjected. "We just finished it, Benson."
"Did you, now?" Benson said in an unbelieving tone. "Stay here." The gumball machine marched out to where they were told to rake and returned five minutes later, his arms folded over his chest. "Surprising as it is, you guys are done for the day. Good job." The words seemed like thorns coming out of their boss' mouth. Benson gave one last huff before walking off to his car. Mordecai looked down at Rigby with a grin on his face. "You know what that means?"
Both of them instantly pumped their fists in the air and screamed, "VIDEO GAMES!" The duo hooted as they ran into the house and parked themselves on the couch. Mordecai turned on the gaming console and handed a controller to Rigby. The raccoon accepted the device greedily and aimed his eyes at the television in front of them.
They both decided to play Blood Wars and the content lived up to it's name. Rigby was a little frightened by some of the imagery, but not enough to deter him from attempting to beat Mordecai. Rigby was always one to be easily scared by things. He was a light sleeper as it was and things like horror movies and violent video games always seemed to upset him a little bit. Okay, sometimes a lot. The raccoon recalled times when he had to be led into the bathroom for a week straight because of one horror movie.
Rigby leaned forward in concentration. Mordecai was already beating him by six points. As much as this was an annoyance to the raccoon, it didn't surprise him. Mordecai was always better than him at video games in general.
Rigby grimaced as Mordecai killed him yet again. The avian was beginning to get cocky at this point as he always did. "Boo yah! Gotcha again!"
Mordecai adjusted his sitting position and his arm accidentally brushed up against Rigby's arm. The raccoon shivered at the slight touch and looked up at the avian who was unaware that he had captured Rigby's attention. Rigby paused and looked down at his controller. He felt his depression beginning to set in again. He tried to block it out like he usually did, but it didn't seem to stem the tide of emotions that began to pulsate through the pit of his stomach.
Anyone else would have paid no mind to their friend's arm brushing them, but in Rigby's case, it was different. The small raccoon had a dark secret that only he knew. A secret that, if revealed, could ultimately ruin the rest of his life.
Rigby was gay. He realized this about himself back when he and Mordecai were in high school. They were in the gym showers, he saw Mordecai and many other guys stark naked, you can guess the rest. Rigby had to run out of the showers, and never came back in; much to the confusion of his friends, or friend.
Not only was Rigby gay, but he had also been in love with his best friend for many years now. Over time, Rigby had learned to suppress the feelings he had towards Mordecai. Doing this, caused the raccoon to have episodes of severe depression from time to time. There was no warning, no signs, nothing. They just came and always resulted in Rigby locking himself away from everyone for a few hours to sometimes days on end.
Tonight was no different. His mind quickly became clouded with thoughts of Mordecai. His handsome face, his beautiful blue feathers, his tall physique, the way he always knew how to rectify a situation, and how he obviously cared for Rigby. Just not in the way that the raccoon desired. He was in love with the blue avian. As much pain as it caused him. As much as he abhorred himself for it. He was in love with him.
He looked over at Mordecai's arm and had imagined it wrapped around him. He imagined squeezing the avian's hand and becoming lost in his grasp. He imagined all of that leading to certain other things before his thoughts were interrupted by Mordecai speaking up. "Jeez, dude. You're sucking more at this than usual!"
Rigby sighed sadly. "I guess I'm just not that into it tonight, dude."
Mordecai gave him a slight concerned look. "You alright, bro?"
Before Rigby could think of a lie to tell the avian, Mordecai's phone began to beep. Mordecai raised the device and looked at it. Suddenly, the avian's eyes widened and the biggest smile stretched across his face. He gasped in shock and looked over at Rigby. "Oh. My. God! Dude! Margret just asked me out on a date to see a movie tomorrow!"
Rigby's heart sank. Mordecai noticed how Rigby's mouth fell agape in shock and commented. "I know, dude! This is crazy!"
Rigby closed his mouth and looked down at his feet. "Yeah...crazy. I'm happy for you, bro."
Mordecai was too overjoyed to notice the lack of enthusiasm in his best friend's voice and continued to speak. "I can't believe this, man! The girl of my dreams finally realized how perfect we are for each other!"
Rigby flinched at the words as if they were each a knife that cut into him. How perfect they are for each other. He just said they were perfect for each other. If only he could see how much he hurts me when he says that stuff. Rigby felt his emotions begin to rise, and he knew that he needed to find some way to be alone before he said something he regretted.
Suddenly a sharp pain came in his left arm. Mordecai had punched him to get his attention, how he'd always do. Usually, Rigby wouldn't get too bothered by it, but with the hurt and sheer anger that he felt inside, he couldn't hold in what came.
Rigby shot out of his seat and threw his game controller at Mordecai. The device flew into the avian's stomach and Mordecai doubled over, grunting in pain. "What the hell, man?!"
"Don't fucking touch me!" Rigby screamed. "Don't ever fucking touch me again! You want to touch somebody? Go touch your fucking girlfriend!"
Rigby ran out of the room, leaving a very confused avian sitting on the couch. Rigby sprinted up the stairs and into his and Mordecai's bedroom. He jumped onto his trampoline and buried his face into the pillow. He began crying as he thought about what was going to transpire tomorrow. I'm too late.Rigby thought. Though, Rigby doubted Mordecai would ever even think about entering an actual relationship with the raccoon. He always dreamed of someday, finding the guts to confess his feelings. He was just always terrified of losing the only real friend he had. Now, Mordecai just got his dream girl and Rigby didn't see them splitting anytime soon. Hell, they'd probably get married eventually if Mordecai gets his way. Rigby cringed at the thought.
He disliked Margaret for a number of reasons. She was a self absorbed cunt bag who has, on more than one occasion, openly admitted to being homophobic and wishes any homosexual dead. On top of that, for the past couple of years now, Mordecai had practically thrown himself at her constantly and she never took notice. As much as Rigby was glad she didn't, he hated to see his friend become so hurt from the constant rejection; and that was the other reason why Rigby disliked her so much. Mordecai wanted her instead of him. Jealousy. Something both he and Mordecai had an obvious trait for.
Rigby hated these feelings. He hated the fact that he was in love with his best friend. He hated the fact that he was gay. To be honest. He hated himself. How could someone like him ever find a place in this world? How could he ever live a normal life? He felt so small. So worthless. So...insignificant.
He heard the doorknob wiggle and he quickly brought the covers over himself to hide the fact that he had been crying. He heard the door open and Mordecai stomp into the room. "What the hell is your problem, dude? Like, seriously. What did I do that made you so pissed off and run upstairs like a little girl?"
"Nothing."
"Why don't you get out from under the covers and talk to me?"
"Because I obviously don't want to talk about it. Now leave me alone."
He heard Mordecai sigh with frustration and felt the avian sit on the edge of his trampoline. "Look, dude. Just tell me what I did."
"You didn't do anything. I just want to be left alone."
"Rigs, come on, man. I can't help you, unless you talk to me dude."
Rigby had lost his patience. "YOU CAN'T HELP ME! I DON'T WANT TO TALK! NOW JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Whatever, you little cretin. I try to be a friend and help you out, but, just like always, you shut me out. Fuck it. If you want to sit up here and be miserable like the child you are, then do it, man. I don't even care. We were having a good night until you had to fucking make it all about you, just like always. I'm done, dude. I'm outta here."
The weight on the bed lifted and he heard a door slam indicating Mordecai's exit. Rigby slowly uncovered his head and stared blankly at the ceiling. He replayed what had just happened in his mind, and once again, tears came to his eyes. Make it all about me...if you only knew how much I sacrifice for you every day.
He didn't know how long he laid there, thinking about how he and Mordecai would never be. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get over him. Am I destined to live my life wishing for something I'll never get? Am I destined to live alone constantly going through this pain I feel every time I'm around him?Any other person would just leave the situation. Just say screw it and find another friend. Rigby knew he couldn't, though. Mordecai was everything to him; and without him in his life, the raccoon wouldn't be able to cope.
Rigby continued to lay there until Mordecai opened up the door and walked into the bedroom. Rigby quickly closed his eyes and pretended like he was asleep. Mordecai slowly walked over toward their beds. Rigby noticed Mordecai halt and hover beside the raccoon's trampoline for a few seconds before getting into his own bed. Rigby laid unmoving as he listened to the avian's breathing become relaxed.
Rigby quietly turned around to where he was facing Mordecai. The avian had his back turned to him, so Rigby didn't have to worry about Mordecai noticing his staring. The little raccoon gave a faint smile and whispered, "Good night, Mordecai. I love you. You're all that I live for."
Yup! Another lovey dovey, angst filled fanfic. Don't like it? Fuck off. :P Anyways, yeah, there's gonna be a whole lot of Rigby going through a lot of self esteem issues and mild depression due to the fact that he is a closeted gay. Part of it is just going along with what I imagined for his character, and another part, I think, is me kind of venting a lot of the feelings I have felt myself, and still do to this day. In many ways, Rigby is very much like me in this. The way I am in general. Yes, I still do what I can to keep him in character. What I'm saying is, the things he is going through (other than being in love with his straight best friend), his immature actions, the fact that he's gay and somewhat of a hopeless romantic, his anger issues, his secrets. Just so much, is like myself, and that's why I think I'm going to like building on his character. Anyways, I hope you all like what I have to offer. Just a fair warning to all of you wanna-be critics out there. Yes, I am aware this will be like every other Morby story out there. There's not much you can do with it, and if you think you can do better, do it. Other than that? Don't like it, don't read it.