Only Child
A\N: I'm kinda sorta really proud of this! I hope you guys like it!
Being pregnant wasn't all that fun, she decided when the morning sickness finally hit her.
"I think I'm immune to it," she had told him not even a week before she got started to get sick.
"It's not fun anymore," she whined softly, her forehead leaning against her arm as she knelt down next to the toilet, her husband rubbing her back soothingly.
"It's okay, it'll all be worth it in the end."
She lifted her head up, ignoring the spinning feeling and smiled softly at him, "it will be, won't it?"
"Totally." He kissed the corner of her mouth and she couldn't help but laugh, knowing he didn't want to kiss her fully on the lips since she had been upchucking for almost an hour now.
. . .
Rachel was excited to go back to Ohio and tell all of her family and friends their good news. They were going to tell them over the phone but since it was Carol's and her dads first grandchild, they wanted to do it in person.
No, seriously, she was bouncing in her seat.
"Rach, can you please stop doing that, you could hurt the baby."
She was only two months along and Finn's overprotective nature was already taking over. He wouldn't even let her get up from the couch while they were watching a movie to go make them lunch! He had told her he could handle it and made them both one of his "freaking awesome," as he liked to put it, grilled cheese sandwiches. But Rachel, instead of being annoyed like most soon-to-be-mothers would be, thought it was incredibly cute and she leaned over in her seat, nipping at his ear.
He squirmed a little and she giggled hotly against his skin, her hand slowly trailing down his leg and he let out a loud squeak once it reached its destination.
Yeah, her need-you-want-you-now pregnancy hormones had already taken over too.
. . .
To say Carole was happy about the news was an understatement.
She yelled and screamed and Rachel squealed with delight when the woman pulled her into a tight hug, both ignoring Finn's "wait wait, don't squish the baby!"
Rachel's dads were freaking out too and Finn found it hilarious. He didn't know her daddy's voice could get so high! Burt had patted him on the back and congratulated him.
Later that afternoon as the two families lounged in Carole's living room, Finn began to go cross eyed from looking from person to person as Rachel's dads gushed about how spoiled their child would be and how big its closet would be.
"Oh, and don't forget a baby shower!" Carole joined in.
Rachel and Finn shared an uneasy look.
"Well, we kind of already promised Quinn she could give it…" Rachel said and Carole's face fell a little and she immediately felt guilty. "I'm so sorry! It's just – Quinn and Puck were with us when we found out and she sort of… called it."
"Oh, it's fine, honey. I'll just have the next one." She winked and Rachel giggled, leaning into Finn as they continued to plan about the baby.
Soon the excitement –though still there- died down a little and everyone was talking amongst themselves now, Finn looked down at his sleepy wife and nudged her gently. "You ready to go to bed?"
"Mmm."
And with that, he gently picked her up, said goodnight to his parents and made his way upstairs to his old bedroom, which was now just a guestroom for when they came to visit.
Finn set his wife down on the bed, –thank God his mom had gotten a bigger one once he had left for college six years ago- removing his shirt and pants, kissing her on the forehead before climbing in next to her.
"Finn…" She mumbled and he thought she was just sleep talking (she did that a lot) but her eyes were sort of open and he looked at her.
"Do you want a girl or a boy?"
That was random. He had never really thought about it, because it didn't really matter which one it was, he would love it either way. But the more he thought about it, the more his mind changed. He would love a boy to play football with and watch him at games and teach him how to properly talk to girls (the bossy and crazy, but loveable kind) and to have a little guy that looked like him would be kinda cool, he thought.
But…
"I think I want a girl," He told her, reaching a hand out to play with her hair, "a little girl that looks exactly like you."
Rachel smiled and he continued.
"One that has your long hair and your pretty brown eyes and your cute button nose," He rubbed his nose against hers and she snuggled closer.
"What do you want it to be?"
"I want a little Finn," She said and he could feel her smiling against his neck, "but I wouldn't mind a little girl either."
. . .
"Ugh, why can't this thing just get out of me?"
Finn looked at his wife as she continued to complain, forcing himself not to roll his eyes because the last thing he wanted to do was make her more frustrated than she already was.
"It's alright, babe. You only have 5 months left."
He slapped his hand to his forehead as she groaned loudly and began yelling at him about reminding her how much longer she had to carry this basketball, as she so lovingly put it.
Yeah, he didn't like pregnancy hormones so much.
. . .
The baby shower Quinn threw Rachel was "simply perfect" and as his wife went on and on about the beautiful decorations and the brilliant games Quinn and Kurt (yeah, how was Kurt invited? This was only for chicks but whatever) came up with, Finn nodded and tried not to yawn.
He was excited to be a father, sure, but he was scared. Like, his past with Quinn and the baby and all… that still bothered him and he was scared too. What if he wasn't a good dad? He had never had a father when he was growing up, how was he supposed to know what to do?
He never voiced his thoughts to Rachel, for fear of freaking her out too, because honestly? He was surprised she hadn't said anything about her worrying about not being a good mother or something like that.
But he knew better. He knew she would be a good mom.
And he told her so when they were on their way out to eat with Kurt and Blaine when she was just four weeks along and was driving (she insisted because she knew he wouldn't let her drive for a long time) and well, Rachel's sort of a crazy driver. Not bad, she knew where she was going and was always very focused but… well, sometimes she went a little too fast.
They were coming up to a green light when it quickly turned yellow and the car in front of her had already come to a complete stop, so Rachel had slammed on the breaks, her right arm flying out across Finn's chest and they both let out a relieved sigh when it was over.
Rachel's grip on the steering wheel tightened and she moved a strand of her hair away from her face. "What?" She breathed, looking at him with confusion.
He was grinning like an idiot. "You just did the soccor mom save."
"The what?"
"The socoor mom save," He informed her, "when you put your ar in front of me like that."
He could tell she was still confused but she went along with it anyway and nodded, watching for the green light again.
"You're gonna be the best mom ever," He said quietly and she looked over at him again, tears already in her eyes.
"Thank you," She whispered and they stared at each other lovingly.
A lot of people honked their horns at them for not going at the green light.
. . .
"Ugh," Rachel grunted one night in their bed, twisting and turning uncomfortably.
"What's wrong, babe?" Finn mumbled, though his face was mashed up against his pillow.
"I can't sleep," She complained, "and my back is aching and I just – it hurts."
He was up now.
"Do you want me to get you something? Ice cream? A glass of milk? Water? Any food? Do I need to call the doctor?" His eyebrows furrowed. "You're not having it now, are you? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you have like a month left."
"No I'm not having it now!" She huffed irritably. "I'll be fine!" She lay back down on her back, turning to her side. "It's probably just Braxton Hicks."
He didn't know what that was and truthfully, he didn't wanna know. It sounded like some kind of weird toothpaste.
"Okay, are you sure?" He asked, still concerned, "don't lie to me, Rachel."
She touched his cheek and smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm sure. I'm just whining, like always. Our baby will be here soon."
He nodded, still unsure but he just placed his arm around her stomach and settled his hand on the huge bump, rubbing it gently as he felt a small kick.
Their baby would be here soon.
. . .
The sound of the beep rang in his ears and he knew the noise would never leave his mind; it would be stuck forever.
No matter how many doctors he begged, no matter how many tears he shed, they would not let him go see Rachel right now.
But it wasn't fair, she needed him.
No, he needed her.
She couldn't leave him, no way. They had promised each other years ago – their senior year of high school before they graduated and knew that had to go their separate ways for college, they would still be together – she didn't leave then and she can't leave now.
He couldn't get the images out of his mind.
Waking up in the middle of the night when he felt something wet against his legs and pushing the covers off with shaky hands as he saw all the blood pooled at his wife's feet.
"Rachel, Rachel!" He shook her shoulders gently but frantically and she slowly stirred awake, rubbing her eyes.
"What is it?"
"The baby," was all that he could manage to say.
And they had quickly rushed to the hospital, both not saying a word, for they were afraid to even make a sound, as if doing so would make it all worse.
In fact, the last thing he had heard escape her lips after she had been taken to a room immediately was a loud, piercing scream.
And no, he was pretty sure it wasn't from bearing his child either.
But damn those doctors to hell, they wouldn't let him see her! He needed to see her! He needed to see if she was okay or if the baby was okay and – oh God, a doctor was walking toward him.
And down, down, down on the floor he went as the doctor explained, apologized and left him to grieve his two losses.
. . .
He awoke with a shudder, sweat beading along his forehead and he quickly looked to his right, expecting to see his wife, as always, but she was not there.
She. Wasn't. There.
And she wouldn't ever be there, by his side, ever again.
She wouldn't be there to do anything with him anymore. He wouldn't be able to hear her laugh anymore. He wouldn't be able to see her bright smile anymore. He wouldn't be able to kiss her goodnight or – or hold her or tell her how much he loves her. She wouldn't be able to correct his grammar anymore or jump up and down excitedly at even the smallest of things. She wouldn't be able to get back to her dream career on Broadway. She wouldn't be able to hold her baby girl in her arms and watch her grow.
He had nothing now.
He tried going back to sleep but his eyes remained open and his neck felt like it would snap at how fast he turned his head when he heard a noise coming from outside of their – his room.
Getting up slowly from his bed, he trailed to his door and opened it, walking out to the living room to see what the noise was, not even worried about it being a burglar or a killer or something.
He'd like for someone to kill him.
The noise was coming from the kitchen and his eyes looked like they were coming out of his sockets when he saw his still pregnant wife eating ice cream out of the tub.
"R-Rachel?"
He must be seeing things. He was officially insane.
"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you," She said, biting her lip innocently, "but… I was hungry…"
"You're alive?"
She gave him a look as if saying "are you serious?"
"What? Finn, of course I'm alive! Why are you…" She paused and her face softened as she went over to him, placing her hand on his wrist. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"I…" He couldn't even get the words out. It felt so real.
"It's okay," She wrapped her arms around his torso, leaning her head against his chest. "I'm perfectly fine. I'm here."
He continued to stare off into space, his hands splayed across her small back and he didn't even notice he was crying.
"I can't –" He choked out, "I can't lose you, Rachel. Even if it came to losing the baby – I… I can't live in a world that doesn't have you in it."
"Hey," She soothed, looking up at him and wiping his cheeks with her thumbs, her big belly preventing them from being closer. "You won't lose me." She whispered fiercely. "Or our baby."
All he could do was nod numbly.
. . .
"She looks like a Melanie," Rachel's dad said.
"No, she looks like a Carlie," Carole said.
"She looks like a rat," Puck added and Quinn punched him in the shoulder.
"What? All babies do when they're born!"
Finn ignored them all as he gazed into the little nameless baby's blue eyes and muttered: "she looks perfect."
"She is perfect," Rachel whispered.
Both parents were completely captivated by their tiny daughter, Finn pointing out that she had her nose like he wanted and Rachel arguing that that wasn't exactly a good thing.
When they finally all left the new parents to themselves and Rachel had reluctantly given the baby to the nurse so she let her sleep, Finn lie next to his wife on the hospital bed, her head on his shoulder.
"She's amazing," Finn was saying.
"Absolutely beautiful," Rachel added.
"The most precious thing in the world," Finn breathed and gave her a loving glance, "right next to you, of course."
She smiled. "You're already such a great dad."
He chuckled, "we haven't even gotten home yet, or named her, for that matter. Wait until we have to deal with the screaming and the crying and the stinky diapers and –"
She took his hand, a big, tired smile still on her face as she squeezed his fingers. "I can't wait."
"I love you baby mamma," he told her.
She rubbed her nose against his and pecked his lips affectionately. "I love you too.