Yu-gi-oh Abridged the Zexaled series
Script: episode 4
Tittle: Batman's Number
Cast: Yuma, Tori, Astral, Kite, Orbital, Hart, Mr. Heartland, Dr. faker, Police officer 1 + 2, News woman, hostage taker
Begins at heartland mall with a helicopter going by
News Women: (on T.V.) we interrupt this card game to bring you this, someone has taken hostages at the Heartland mall police have arrived on the scene to attempt to deescalate the situation
Yuma: (in the crowd watching T.V with Tori) how come every time I come to the mall someone gets kidnapped, seriously it's happened twice now then again I guess you weren't actually kidnapped
Tori: I wonder who or why someone would want to do this
Yuma: well I don't know why tori, I do know who and that who is, JOHN CENA! (John Cena's Theme play)
Tori: no
Yuma: no, ok then just rule the intro please
Tori: no what the hell even was that
Yuma: I really could not think of another way to start the episode
Intro
Return to the mall
News Woman: we now return to the ongoing hostage crises, and were getting reports that the hostage taker has made a list of demands, those demands are as follow, he wants 1 million dollars, a helicopter with a full tank of gas, and I'm quoting this one "for Konomi to make some god damn legacy support to that isn't terrible and for characters not from the original series already, come on you have already given support to Ojamas, Vechroids, and freaking Cyber darks jut come on already" end quote, we have received that he is armed with nothing more than a baseball bat and a single children's trading card, he is extremely dangerous and is to be approached with cation
Tori: is that all his armed with why the hell don't the police just shoot him, I mean look his just standing right there out in the open
Yuma: because guns aren't allowed in yugioh the only weapons allowed are trading cards and maybe those batons, swords, and the occasional light saber but mostly cards and in a rare case bazookas
Astral: wait the news woman said he was armed with a card, it must be a number card how else could he do this
Yuma: I don't know I heard that last week someone was able to rob a bank using nothing more than a ball point pen and a mokey mokey
Astral: someone robbed a bank with a mokey mokey, really?
Yuma: well it could have been a mokey mokey king but don't quote me on that
Astral: well regardless my plot sense is tingling so Yuma get up there
Yuma: you want me to go to the top floor of the mall get through a wall of cops and up to a crazy guy with a bat who has hostages and challenge him to a children's card game
Astral: yes
Yuma: (exhales) ok, Tori I have to go the royal lord ghost wishes me to risk my life for a trading card I will see you later probably
Tori: wait what
Hostage taker: alright I better get at least one of my demands within the next hour or else I'm going to start hitting people with this rubber base ball bat, and if I don't get them at all let's just say its going to take a miracle for you lot to survive this
(suddenly a mysterious figure appears from the sky and breaks the skylight as the figure descends thee fragments of glass freeze as well)
Hostage taker: Holy fuck its Batman
Kite: I am not the Batman, but I am being of justice for fear is warranted here as I am not the night, but I am the light
Orbital (sounding like bender): yeah that's some entrance right there what with the whole philosophic sounding shit, yup good old Kite (burps)
Kite: Enough Orbital can you confirm this is the number holder
Orbital: let me check yup he is his only holding the damn card, any more obvious questions?
Kite: no just be quiet and drink your bear
Orbital: can do
Kite: and as for you I want your Number
Hostage taker: hey I don't swing that way
Kite: that's not what I meant, and you know it's not what I meant, I was referring to your number card
Hostage Taker: what you mean 56 what do you want with it
Kite: I'm here to take it I happen to be a "collector" of sorts in fact you can call me a number hunter
Hostage Taker: well ain't that interesting so that means you got at least one of these things too huh well how about you and I duel and the winner taking a number from the loser
Kite: my thoughts exactly
Meanwhile Yuma is attempting to get to the top floor going through a crowd of people
Yuma: excuse me, pardon me coming through oof (he runs into someone as Orbital slows time), sorry I (Yuma looks up to see the tub of popcorn the individual was holding floating I mid air as Astral appears) ok I'm not a physics expert and I know this is an anime, but I don't think that's how gravity works
Astral: it doesn't and look around it would appear all time is stopped somehow, somethings going on we must hurry to the top floor
Back upstairs the duel is nearly concluded
Hostage Taker: what the hell man what even are you
Kite: I'm a man fighting for someone, that's all you and your crappy number need to know seriously how did that thing take over a mall, either way a number is a number so both it and your soul are mine (Kite takes 56 and The Hostage Taker's soul and leaves)
Yuma then arrives
Yuma: (squeezing through the line of police) I'm here, I'm here let's do oh (he notices the hostage taker now looking old with his hair turned)
Astral: it would appear that he was defeated as he no longer posses a number what's more his current state is truly frightening
Yuma: (realizing something then snapping his fingers) it was a watapon (Astral then just looks at him as time returns to normal)
Police officer 1: FREEZE KID (Yuma is startled by him) NOW DROP YOUR WEAPON
Yuma: I don't have a weapon
Police officer 1: THEN WHATS THAT ON YOUR HEAD
Yuma: my hair?
Police officer 1: HIS HAIR'S A WEAPON
Police officer 2: get him (the officers begin to try and pile onto Yuma as he attempts to doge them
The next scene takes place at heartland tower as kite enters a room where Mr. Heartland is in)
Mr. Heartland (in the typical gay voice): Why hello Kite how are you today. Mm
Kite: Hello Heartland I'm fine
Mr. Heartland: that's good now how goes the number hunting
Kite: it goes fine I've already collected 11 numbers so far
Mr. Heartland: that's excellent Dr. Faker will surely be pleased by this knowing that you've collected many number cards along with users souls, otherwise something might happen to your brother Hart, like he might die, from the disease he has as they are the way to cure him, or you know something else maybe I don't know. Mm
Kite: screw off Heartland and do me a favor and keep the hell away from him
Mr. Heartland: why what are you suggesting Kite?
Kite: nothing and speaking of Hart I think I'll go see him now (Kite leaves)
Mr. Heartland very well see you later then. Mm, now then to report to Dr. Faker (The room changes and goes black then a new screen appears) Dr. Faker I have news
Dr. Faker: yes, what is it Heartland
Mr. Heartland: Kite has just reported in and now has just under a dozen numbers now sir
Dr. Faker: excellent soon enough my plan will be into motion as my secret plan will soon be complete and my unknown motive will be brought to fortition, I mean unknown to everyone else you and I both know the plan
Mr. Heartland: of course, sir we are the only ones who knows about it after all and since that is the case there is no need for us to say what it is. Mm
Dr. Faker: my thoughts exactly any keep up the good work, Faker out (he signs off)
Mr. Heartland: what a nice guy with a not terrible plan
We move to Harts bedroom as he is looking down at the festivities going on
Kite: hey Hart how are you
Hart: hi Kite, I'm good
Kite; good good that's good so how was your day
Hart: it was ok I shot out more lightning from my head in the trash place
Kite: good make sure to get rid of all that lightning you don't need it, so you're looking at the fair, if you want we could go down there and have some fun
Hart: what is fun
Kite: oh, Hart fun is well doing something you enjoy
Hart: well the voices are telling me that it would be fun if we killed all the people down there
Kite: Hart don't think that way
Hart: sorry, hey Kite am I weird
Kite: were all just a little weird Hart in our own way and thats ok
Hart: ok whatever you say, and I know you just got here but I'm kinda tired now and want to go to bed
Kite: alright I'll get out of your hair besides there are more numbers to hunt (he says as he leaves the room)
Yuma and Tori are walking on a street
Yuma: well this is great not only did we waste the whole day but now I have to register my hair as a dangerous weapon
Tori: well you did impale someone
Yuma: he landed on top of me Tori there is only so much I can do (it starts to rain) and now its raining come on Tori let's go (he says as they both run and then cross the street, suddenly a truck appears and Tori is scarred stiff by it) TORI (Yuma shouts as he pushes her out of the way of the truck) (Thinking) oh god is this it no I need a miracle or I'm-(the screen goes to white and then fades back to Yuma laying on the ground)
Astral: Yuma get up
Yuma: huh what (Yuma gets up and sees the world is frozen) oh no no no no no noooooooo oh god why (almost crying) I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I've diiiieeed
Astral: but Yuma I'm here
Yuma: you're already a ghost Astral now were on the same wavelength (suddenly Kite appears and Yuma notices him) and now the angel of death is here (crying) I ALWAYS KNEW THE ANGEL OF DEATH WAS BATMAN
Kite: um
Yuma: oh please great bat angel of death I'm too young to die I mean look I died saving my friends life so please TAKE JADEN INSTEAD
Kite: I'm not the angel of nor am I Batman and you're not dead
Yuma: I'm (sniffles) not?
Kite: no
Yuma: then how is time frozen?
Orbital: You moron time isn't frozen I just simply slowed it down and only effects people with number cards and myself
Yuma: how?
Orbital: Idontknow but what I do know is that I'll never use this abilty ever again even when it could save all of our lives
Yuma: who the hell are you people
Kite: simply put I'm Kite and I'm a number hunter and since you currently aren't frozen right now that must mean that you possess a number
Astral: Yuma you need to get the hell away from here right now
Yuma: what why
Kite: and no running (kite throws a leash at Yuma's hand and it lashes onto it)
Yuma: what is this what did you do
Kite: its simply a duel leash it will ensure you don't run away (the leash disappears and then kite tugs on it moving Yuma's hand)
Yuma: hey
Kite: see
Yuma: (Kite then continues to tug on the leash) hey, hey come on stop it this isn't fun CUT IT OUT
Kite: fine, now it is time for us to duel and when I win not only will I take your Number but your vary soul itself
Yuma: so I am dead
Kite: no
Yuma: but you just said
Kite: (angerly) shut up and duel me or else
Yuma: (frightened) ok
Astral: it ok Yuma I am here to help you and together this Seto Kaiba slash Jack Atlas rip off doesn't stand a chance
Yuma: glad to know your in a better mode now
Kite: so let use begin go Photon transformation (Kite's clothes then change to ne White and gains a tattoo on his left eye
Yuma: what the hell was that why are your clothes white and what's with the tattoo
Kite: this is my Photon Transformation, you see I'm so awesome at card games I need to do this before I duel or I could explode from awesomeness and the tattoo represents my scouter
Yuma: is putting a D-gazer on really that inconvenient
Kite: yes, now I go first I activate Photon veil then activate Photon lead to first move 3 light monster back to my deck and then add 3 new light monsters and then summon one come forth day breaker which then activates its special abilty letting my summon another and then third, I next summon both my light serpent and plasma ball, finally I overlay my 3 day breakers first, and then my plasma ball and light serpent in order to xyz summon both number's 10 and 20 Illumikight and Giga-Brilliant (both are summoned at the same time) your move
Yuma: two numbers at once
Astral: this guy means business
Yuma: I'll just summon this in defense mode
Kite: if that's all its my move, now giga-brilliant attack his face down (it attacks to reveal gogogo golem)
Yuma: ha My golem needs two attacks to be destroyed
Kite: fine I'll simply attack it with Illumiknight (golem is destroyed) but I'm not done yet next a sacrifice both Illumiknight and Giga-brilliant in order to summon your demise come forth Galaxy Eyes-Photon Dragon
Astral: interesting he summoned two numbers only to get rid of both and summon that thing an interesting strategy maybe he was simply showing off or maybe he was simply gaining resources to the grave yard for later plays what do you think Yuma
Yuma: I have absolutely no idea
Astral: what? you have to have an opinion on this at least somewhat
Yuma: Astral I still think I'm dead right now
Astral: what
Yuma: all I know is that first I'm about to get run over then all time freezes or whatever then this batman guy appear from nowhere challenges me to a duel and tells me that if I lose he will take my soul what else could be happening
Astral: ok your useless right now just do everything I tell you ok
Yuma: ok
Astral: good now we need to summon Utopia
Yuma: that I can do now kite I summon my gagaga magician and my ganbra knight and use both to xyz summon Number 39 Utopia
Kite: so the number I will be taking is 39 this time very well
Yuma: don't act so smug I've still got moves like my blustering winds
To raise utopia's attack to 3500, now Utopia attack that dragon with rising sun slash
Kite: no, because of galaxy eyes abilty it banishes both of our monsters until the end of the battle phase and since Galaxy eyes banished an xyz' s monster it gains 500 attack for each overlay unit that monster had
Yuma: shit
Astral: oh I see now he is using an anti xyz' s deck that's actually pretty smart maybe we should try that
Yuma: that is if I'm really not dead
Astral: would you get over that already
Kite: Galaxy eyes attack his number (galaxy eyes attacks Utopia)
Yuma: ow, well at least the bullshit anime rule is coming in handy for once
Astral: ok new plan
Yuma: I summon Zubaba knight and activate my copy card to copy my knight then overlay the both of them to summon Number 17 leviathan Dragon
Kite: wait what, um Orbital I know you hate when I ask this but this time it seems kinda relevant did he just summon another number
Orbital: let me check yup he said it was so it is you freakin dipshit
Kite: how very interesting does this mean you're a number hunter of sorts as well
Yuma: maybe, any way with my x jumping card I can have utopia attack you directly since I control two monsters with the same attack points which is 2500 thanks to Leviathan's special abilty now let's see how you like this Utopia
Kite: denied I use luminize negating its attack then rasing my Dragons attack to 6500
Yuma: holy shit that's a lot of attack points but at the same time no where near the amount some cards reach in this show like not even close
Kite: well looks like this is the end for you, Galaxy eyes (suddenly the screen jumps to hart who is creaming in pain as he disperses lightning from his body and then collapse) (thinking) my big brother senses Hart (out loud) damn it brother is in trouble and even though I'm about to win and have just learned that you posse more than one number I'm simply gong to abandon the duel and rush to him curse foiled again (Kite then leaves leaving Yuma and Astral baffled as time unfreezes)
Tori: (after falling from the push and getting up looking horrified) YUMA! (she then sees that Yuma is standing in the middle of he street perfectly fine) Yuma, your ok but how what happened
Yuma: I don't know Tori but what I do know is that we should probably get out of the street, move move MOVE! (he says as cars begin to come)
End of Episode