Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related material blahblahblah belongs to the mastermind J.K. Rowling. I'll admit I made up the 'Octiroots' though. You know? Like Octopus tentacles, but a plant. Stealing it is permissible.
Summary: Seventh year. Sirius tries to convince Remus that he's a good looking lad…
Warnings: Uhm. BoyxBoy. Very mild though. Too mild.
Notes:Please, enjoy. I was aiming for humor but one can never be too sure.
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"Sirius," Remus sighed, "I don't really care…"
It had started out three days before. The cause? Two words: James Potter.
James had, rather miraculously, finally managed to clear up his act and court a lady he much sought after: Lily Evans ("Potter," James would add arrogantly, though admittedly out of earshot of Lily, "Or in the future, anyway…"). Their blooming relationship did not surprise the rest of the Marauders, because even though they would have found the very idea laughable not too long ago, they themselves had seen the transformation.
"Look, look," Sirius had whispered in a horrified manner, looking as though he did not know whether he should laugh or frown, "Look, since when does he do that?"
"Do what?" Peter asked, also surveying James.
"That!" Sirius thrust a finger at their fellow troublemaker, then in a demanding voice continued, "Since when does James stop to help pick up a first year's fallen stuff? He didn't even notice these things before!"
"He does that since a certain redhead is scrutinizing him from fifteen feet away," Remus replied with a knowing smile.
"Rather in desperation," Peter added in a bored tone.
"I wouldn't say that," Remus nudged the short boy, "Look, Lily seems to be trying very hard to act like she's not looking at James."
And surely, Lily's glances were stolen but she was fooling no one. James straightened, ruffled the first year boy's hair, and waved at her. She turned away but even from a distance they could see a smile twitch her lips.
"That's not right," Sirius continued, "That's… that's…?"
But he was lost for words.
Not long after that the three friends had watched another curious display. James had gallantly plowed forward to offer Professor McGonagall his willingness to tutor one of her struggling third years, as she had been asking her seventh year students. She was flattered into speechlessness, but managed to accept nonetheless. Nobody missed the fact that Lily Evans also sprang up, offering to tutor another, with the suggestion that holding collective tutoring gatherings would be the best approach of all.
"That's—" Sirius began when he finally managed to scrape his jaw off the floor.
"—a transformation," Remus continued, eyes darting back and forth between James and Lily who discretely (or so they thought) were throwing each other glances.
A transformation it was indeed when James offered the last of the pudding to a nearby younger student who had arrived late. There was no doubt that it was a transformation when James admitted to and apologized for accidently blowing up a fellow student's cauldron in Potions. It couldn't be mistaken that James spending a copious amount of time trying to tame his hair in the morning was a transformation. But the biggest transformation of all was when James, provoked by one Severus Snape (well, by the Slytherin's presence, at least), took one look at a narrow eyed Lily Evans and simply walked away without a scene.
"I am so aloooooooone," Sirius wailed, rocking back and forth as the Marauders sat, sans James Potter, in a corner of the almost empty common room on break, "Our brotherhood, our partnership in all deeds devious!"
"Stop whining, you drama queen," Remus told him, grinning, "You still have me. To ruin all your ill-planned contrivances, that is."
When things between James and Lily became official, everyone was shocked into silence but soon came around with hesitant, "That's great!"s and "You make a good couple!"s and "Wow!"s.
But that was all back story. When finally James managed to stop gloating long enough to remember that he had, as Sirius would say huffily, "Oh let me see—friends?!", he jumped on Sirius' bed grinning like a maniac and startling him.
"So, Paddy," he started.
"Don't call me that," Sirius hissed through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, it sounds like something to do with the menstrual cycle, though I can't think what," Remus commented mildly from behind his book and James and Peter roared with laughter.
"Shut it, Moony," Sirius snapped, who had been rather moody since James had stopped paying him attention.
James rolled his eyes, "So Padfoot, so what's going on with you and the ladies lately? You haven't been seeing anyone for ages!"
Peter stopped shuffling in his trunk and Remus set aside his book. They both directed their full attention the Black-but-ran-away-and-doesn't-want-to-be-Black Black, who suddenly sat uncomfortably under the intensity of three pairs of eyes.
"Well, er," he began, eyes shifting around their dormitory for a distraction and finally coming to rest to a certain werewolf, "Moony! I've seen you eyeing up that gray eyed busty blonde monster in Ravenclaw. Ha, own up!"
Success: James and Peter's heads effectively rotated to pin Remus under a smoldering gaze.
"Our Moony? Finally showing the normal functions of teenage boy? Could it be?" James questioned in wonder.
"That's not true!" Remus protested immediately. "And don't try to—"
"Fine," Sirius cut through him before he could finish, "But she's sure eyeing you up. Surely you've noticed!"
"Who, Samantha?" Remus asked, and when Sirius nodded he continued with, "You're delusional," before rolling his eyes and picking up his book again.
"She is!" Sirius insisted, doing a fly-jump-leap and landing a foot short of Remus' bed. The snorts of laughter went ignored, however: he surfaced grinning and unharmed. "Why am I delusional?"
Remus put down his book yet again, this time forcefully, "Why are you delusional?! Sirius, look at me."
He got more than his wish: instead of one, three pairs of eyes seized him up and examined him carefully.
"Yes?" Sirius said expectantly, "I'm looking. What?"
Remus spread his arms wide, "I mean look. At me."
The emphasis went to waste, however, because all three of his friends continued to look at him, as asked, but blankly.
Exasperated, Remus dropped his arms and gave a long suffering sigh, "I meant, do I look like a person Samantha would be interested in?"
"Moony, 'course. You're a good looking bloke!" Sirius immediately supplied, and James nodded rather slowly and thoughtfully.
"Thanks for your confidence boost, but that's why you're delusional," Remus said offhandedly.
"What! No way. Besides, she hangs out with you!" Sirius insisted.
"She hangs out with me, during class, because she's terrible in Defense, and, excuse my lack of modesty, I'm one of the best. Terrible at Potions though," Remus added thoughtfully.
"Doesn't matter. You're still good looking enough that she'd be interested in you," Sirius said stubbornly.
Remus rolled his eyes for what seemed the millionth time that day and buried himself behind his book once more, ignoring any further provocation. It seemed to go unnoticed that Sirius had easily dodged the question directed at him…
But Sirius remained unchangeably persistent about the matter. He seemed to have made it his priority to annoy Remus to breaking point. Well, either that, or to a point where Remus would agree that he is undeniably charming.
"Just let the matter go, Sirius," Remus said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his calm, as Sirius tactlessly continued to pester him the next day.
"But Rem! Surely you've looked into mirrors before! How can you think you're not good looking?"
This went on and on, until, on the third day, Remus had had enough. And thus, we are brought back to the story at hand.
"Sirius," Remus sighed, "I don't really care…" He was attempting to take a different approach in the hope that Sirius would get a hint and drop it like a dead spider.
"But Moony," Sirius said, "You can't possibly think you're not handsome. I'm a bloke and I think you could work the ladies if you wanted to."
They were sitting, quite regrettably in Remus' opinion, alone in their dormitory as a result of a cancelled Herbology class. ("Someone's cast a rapid growth charm on all the Octiroots and they're terribly tangled, still growing, and suffocating the cabbage," Professor Sprout, looking harassed, had informed the class, sending suspicious glances at the Marauders outside greenhouse five. They did not do it. While Sirius had appreciatively commended this mischief on the behalf of their unknown fellow troublemakers, James simply shook his head and walked away.) James was now a no show as was increasingly the case these days (it could be suspiciously linked to a spare a certain redhead has), and Peter had scurried off to the kitchens for a snack because he had missed breakfast and could not wait for lunch.
"That's just it, Sirius, I don't want to." Remus replied.
"But Moo—" Sirius spluttered only to be cut off by Remus rounding on him.
"Sirius. Look at me properly and tell me that you truly unarguably believe I could have the ladies tripping after me," He demanded, shoving his face a foot from Sirius'.
Sirius was struck speechless. He stared straight into Remus' slight frown, at the scar running across his cheek and slashing the corner of his mouth. He looked right into Remus' molten brown-honey-golden irises and then down to his full lips, which formed a slight pout of exasperation. His traced Remus' eyebrows, down to his prominent cheekbones, and up to his hair, which highlighted red in the sun. He remained speechless.
Finally, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Remus' full on. It lasted about three seconds long before Sirius hastily jumped back, heart hammering and cursing himself.
Remus' frown was gone: he stared at Sirius dumbly and did not say anything.
"Well, er, that should answer your question," Sirius said nervously.
Remus' eyebrow rose slowly into an arc, "I didn't ask one."
Sirius rolled his eyes and tried to get up as he said, "Always so technical," but Remus grabbed him and pulled him back.
"I meant it, I don't really care whether the ladies think I'm good looking enough or not," Remus told him.
"And I meant it when I said you're a damn looker and need to stop being so damned insecure," Sirius huffed before his expression changed, realizing that what he had just said sounded rather, well, odd, for its intention of strictly friendly.
A small smile played on Remus' lips, "No. I meant that I don't care for the ladies."
"And I—oh." Sirius stared at Remus who gave one slow, calculative nod.
"But that doesn't mean that I'm not interested in anyone at all," Remus added quietly after a moment.
"Oh," Sirius said numbly again, before his dumbstruck expression changed into a sly one. "Well, Mister Moony, if that's the case…"
"Mm?" Remus replied distractedly as Sirius came close enough for their breaths to intermingle.
"I still insist that you are too good looking for your own good. And I now insist on taking different measures to prove it," Sirius murmured before leaning forward further.
Remus' laugh was muffled for a long time.
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Reviews would be much appreciated.