Fandom: 30 rock
Pairings: Jack/Liz
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 4x11 At best
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Nothing can be gained.
Prompt: lj user="ham_napkin"/ California; How drunk are you?
A/N: Los Angeles is one of my favorite cities. Below I've attached some pictures relative to the story I took myself when I visited my uncle back in January. In order to get over the C I got in Calculus I decided to write something to entertain myself. On the brighter side, the second half of my Senior Year is almost over! Yay! -ahem- I hope you enjoy the story =)
**Los Angeles**
Liz doesn't go to California often, and for good reason. The last time she was in Los Angeles, she had found a bag full of boxes for vibrating underpants outside of the elevator in her hotel. This time was no different, except this time they were attached to somebody silently moaning to herself in the corner of the elevator. She had wanted to say something, but thought better of it. "Hey, could you please turn off your vibrating underpants?" would be more than sufficiently awkward in a situation like that.
She came to Los Angeles for one reason and one reason only: Emmy season. This year had looked hopeful too. Her staff had done such an excellent job writing political satire sketches that she thought they even had a chance against The Daily Show. She had walked in with brimming confidence, ready to knock them dead with a brilliant acceptance speech to end the evening right.
They didn't win, though. So her knock-em-dead speech she had slaved over remained scribbled on index cards in the bottom of her purse, never to be heard by a living soul. So she remained through the party at Jack's insistence, when all she really wanted to do was crawl into bed and take the next flight home. Not because she was a sore loser, but because she disliked being without her humidifiers for too long. Besides, there's was an delicious sandwich in the refrigerator waiting for her when she got home.
**Liz's Hotel Room**
She got the chance to duck out of the party much later in the evening, out of Jack's careful eye. It took her awhile to get back to the hotel, because she didn't have a ride and this god-forsaken city didn't have enough taxis. I mean really, New York had taxis. Sure their traffic was worse, but they had taxis. She did, eventually get back to her hotel, and immediately began shedding her tight dress, changing into her pajamas. Right before she made it to her bed, however, there was a knock at her door.
"Jack? What are you doing here?"
"Lemon, you ducked out of the party early."
"And..?"
"It's not very professional."
"Yeah well, parties aren't my thing Jack. Jeeze, you've known me how long?"
"Can you at least tell me why you're already in your pajamas?"
She sighed "Because I'm going to bed, Jack. I have an early flight tomorrow."
He laughed, mockingly. "Lemon, your flight is in the afternoon. At least take the time to enjoy this city."
"Why should I? You've said yourself that you hate...what did you call it 'Drugifornia'" she mocked with air quotes.
"Yes, I have. But what have I told you about life, Lemon"
"That it's about minimizing regrets..."
"And...?"
"And that you never know when someone's going to slip into a coma...what does that have to do with any of this?"
"It means that you need to come outside and enjoy yourself. I'll escort you."
"I don't know Jack..."
He held up his phone, showing the twitter page of what looked like a food truck entitled 'Barbie's Q' "There's a barbecue food truck parked out on Sunset Boulevard."
She stared at him, mouth agate. "Fine, but I'm not getting dressed up again, that dress pinches my boobs."
He smiled at her as she went to get dressed, silently congratulating himself on a job well done.
**Tiki Ti Bar**
They don't make it to the food truck immediately. Instead they stop by a bar called the 'Tiki Ti', a Polynesian-themed tiki bar on Sunset. On top of the fact that Liz doesn't regularly go to bars, and has no clue what to order on a normal menu, this bar has what looks like a hundred different drinks with off names.
"The Yellow Bird? Really?" she asks rhetorically, squinting her eyes at the menu, "And what the heck is a Missionary's Downfall? Jesus, these sound like date rape drinks." She gets a strange glance from the bartender as well as several patrons as she says this rather loudly. She ignores them, adding "How the heck did you find this place, Jack?"
He looks over his oddly-colored drink at her, and simply says, "The Internet, Lemon. Can you look at me and honestly say that you've never been bar-hopping before?"
She gave him a matter-of-fact look. "How drunk are you?"
"You're right I'm sorry" he says, keeping his cool. If you don't know what to order, why don't you try the wheel. The bartender will simply choose one for you."
She flops the menu down on the bar counter and acquiesces, knowing that she will not enjoy this.
**Several drinks and another bar later**
She begins to feel more lose, though is still extremely uncomfortable with the horde of young people pouring in and out of the bar.
Jack raises his glass to hers, a slight slur in his speech "Let's see...to us."
She snorts "To what, we lost."
"Well yes but we're out, we're having a good time.."
She glares at him.
"Well...I'm having a good time. To us...to our...friendship." he smiles, egging her to let loose.
"Fine," she raises her glass to his. They clink and tank their respective drinks
**Several more drinks later**
"You know what just sucks about this?" she said, now completely buzzed
"Ham?" Jack says, his voice echo-y form the glass
"It's that...well. I bet The Daily Show has a bunch of male writers. They're totally sexist!" she takes another victorious sip. "I suppose they do have Samantha Bee. But s he's Canadian, that doesn't count. They're still jerks"
"I thought you liked that show." he says dryly, signaling the bartender for more shots.
"Well yeah, but they don't have to be such a bunch of jerk faces, stealing our Emmy and all. We totally deserved that win!"
**Sunset Boulevard**
On their way to the next bar, they pass by the Chinese Theater, where Liz is confronted by a man in a Yoda costume coming on to her. Several minutes later, Jack has to lead her away before she starts a street brawl.
"Come on Jack, let me at him! He was a Yoda wearing a frieking red lightsaber! That's not right! That defies all rules of Star Wars!"
She struggles against his strong grip before he holds her down several yards away, looking at her with his piercing gaze. "I'm sure it is, Lemon but is it really worth getting into a street fight about? The guy is trying to make money."
She pouts, giving in "Alright, but if I see a Darth Vader with a purple lightsaber, drastic measures must be taken." she points an accusing finger and walks away.
"Uh, this way, Lemon."
**The Yagatori Bar In Between Bars**
Liz grabs a menu glancing over the menu at the various sushi wraps and skewered items. "I feel like we're forgetting something."
Jack glances over at her slightly, checking off various foods to be ordered on the menu. "I'm going to ignore your still blatantly obvious ignorance about bar-hopping etiquette and just order for us."
"I still think that there was something I wanted to do, some reason I agreed to do this. Oh my god, tomatoes wrapped in bacon?"
"I see we're finally making a breakthrough, even if it is entirely food-related."
In between their skewered chicken breasts and baked potatoes their drinks arrive. They both raise their glasses in response to the several cheers from the waiters and cooks.
"Well, in any case, very well played Donaghy." she says, voice still a little slurred though very much improved from the food.
He clinks his glass with hers and gives a smirk.
**Several More Drinks and another bar Later**
"You know what, I really like that show...I do...I'm just jealous...is all."
Jack's not paying attention, sitting amongst a slew of empty glasses staring off into space. "Jack? Hello? Jack?"
"Lemon, do you think I'll ever have children?"
"How drunk are you?"
"A lot, now answer the question."
She worked her buzzed brain out as best she could, running over his recent list of exes "Of course you will, you just need to find someone less...psychotic. Someone who hasn't killed their last husband. Someone who can bare to stand your...weirdness."
He blinked groggily, "Weirdness, Lemon?"
"It's a word, shut up." she pulled the nearest empty glass to her lips, realizing too late that it was empty. "Hey you know what we should do?"
**Griffith Park- Observatory Balcony **
"I can't believe you got a car here, I didn't know your town cars worked across the country." Liz says, slightly stumbling on the steps.
"Yes they do, but for the record, that wasn't my town car." Jack leaned against the railing, impatiently waiting for her to slowly descend onto the balcony. "You just have to know who to pay and how much."
"Huh," she says, breathing slightly heavier than normal "weird." Liz makes it to the bottom of the stairs and audibly gasps at the view of downtown. "Oh my god!" she runs over to the edge, hands gripping the wall as she tips back and forth ever so slightly on the balls of her feet. She feels Jack walk over beside her.
"It's beautiful!" she exclaims. "You know, apart from the whole 'being LA' part of it"
"Yes, it is." she hears Jack say in a low voice.
Half expecting the cheesy romantic comedy ending to this line, she turns around to face him only to find that he is on his iPhone looking at stock market prices. She rolled her eyes and continued looking out over the view.
"Is going to the local observatory usually part of the bar-hopping plan?" she teases.
Jack puts his phone back into his pocket and leans over the wall. "Honestly?" he looks her in the eye, his gaze a strange mix of being contently buzzed and relaxed. She looks up at him, expecting another backhanded compliment. "No" he finally says.
She relaxes, leaning against the wall again as they look out over the view.
It could be the cocktail of several different drinks brewing inside him, it could be the weird reaction to the sushi they had, or maybe it was the glow of the city below them. At that moment, as Jack looked at Liz, she seemed to have an angelic glow surrounding her features.
She wasn't one of the slew of amazingly attractive women he had chased after for so long, neither was she ugly. She had a beauty of her own, masked beneath the exceptionally nerdy vibe she carried with her. She was beautiful because of the way she carried herself, though at times intentionally dressed herself as the frump-girl. She was still the greatest friend he had ever known.
She turns around suddenly, grabbing onto his arm with a playful look in her eye he deemed 20 years too old for her. "You want to go inside? Or is it closed?"
He smirked, "Even if it is, I have ways of ensuring that we can stay."
**Griffith Park- Inside The Observatory**
Walking past the 'Cafe At The End Of The Universe' Liz lets out a loud cackle. "Hah! Hitchiker's Guide To the Galaxy reference! I get that! Ooh what's this?" She runs into the adjoining room where Jack is staring at a shelf filled with Albert Einstein dolls.
"Poor, crazy-haired bastard. I bet he would have killed for hair like mine."
"You really love your hair don't you?" she says, skeptically looking between the dolls and Jack.
He laughs loudly, "Of course Lemon, why else would I want to pass this on? It's only common sense, otherwise I would be depriving some poor child of a set of genes."
" Hey, come on. I want to see the planets!"
"But I'm not done making fun of Einstein." he complains. Liz ignores him and runs off to the planetary exhibit down the hallway. Jack catches up with her leaning over the balcony in the semi-darkness, looking at scaled replicas of the planets down below.
"Wow, they're pretty big,"
"That's what she said!" she cackles, holding up a hand as he rolls his eyes. "Come on, don't leave a brother hanging!"
He looks up from his face in his hand and gives her a weak high-five.
"You walked right into that one, sucker!"
Just as he was about to argue with her they hear a voice echo down the hallway. "Who's there? The observatory is closed!"
"Shit," she whispers, looking around for an exit.
"Don't worry Lemon, I have a plan."
"You mean you have friends here who you can convince that we didn't know what time the observatory was closing?"
He laughs, guiding her away from the the balcony, "I don't have friends here, bunch of science nerds!"
She glares at him, frantically confused.
He guides her away from the balcony with his hand on the small of her back "No, here's my plan....Run!" he hisses as he takes off back toward the café. She follows him with her eyes through the semi-darkness whispering, "What?" gesturing her confusion with her arms. Then, giving up, she decides to follow him out of the building.
** Hotel Bar Room**
Somehow, they manage to escape Griffith Park unnoticed by security, get the car that took them up there to take them back down, and eventually, they make it to the hotel. After another small round of drinks Jack offers to dance.
"I dunno, Jack. Can't I just stay at the bar where the mozzarella sticks are?"
"Lemon, what was the purpose of tonight?"
"To win an emmy?" He glares at her. "To enjoy myself..." She sighs, "Alright I'll do it, but I'm not going to like it."
Jack takes her hand out onto the dance floor into the crowd of people, then whispers "That's what your mom said to me last night....boo ya!"
Liz laughs loudly, as he smiles triumphantly to himself. "You dork!"
"Last time I checked, Lemon. I was not a whale's penis."
Maybe it was the alcohol, or a strange reaction to the sushi, but she found herself incredibly giggly. Adding to that was the upbeat of the song, that is until the DJ decides to play something that Liz only recently heard on the radio.
"Ugh," she says. "I hate this song. Why the hell would you brush your teeth with whiskey? Who does that?"
"I suppose you're right. Back in my day the walk of shame usually consisted of not brushing your teeth at all. " Liz gives him a strange look. "You're right, I'm sorry. I forgot momentarily that you never went out clubbing...What?"
Liz giggled, "You said 'back in my day'. You're old."
"How drunk are you?" he scoffs.
"Only a little, I haven't drunk dialed anyone yet. That's a major accomplishment."
He rolls his eyes and continues to lead the dance. They start out fairly distant from each other, starting in a waltz position. As each song passes, each time Jack spins her around their bodies become closer and closer. Liz isn't sure if it's the alcohol or the Chamillionaire song the DJ decides to play, but pretty soon she's dancing against Jack the same way she jokingly danced in Dark Sensations just a few years before.
Everything seems to happen in slow motion. His hands are around her waist, breath hot against her neck. Amidst the flash of lights, he sees her flushed gaze turn toward him. Her mouth is open, inches from his own. He plants his mouth her neck, kissing it as she leans back against his shoulder.
**Liz's Hotel Room**
Before she knows what's happening she's at her hotel room door, frantically putting the key card in its place while Jack peppers her neck and collarbone with kisses. When she finally has the door open, she pulls him inside, lips locked as he pins her against the wall.
There is no thought of how inappropriate this may be for a boss-employee relationship. No fear of how awkward it would turn out to be. There is only the joy of knowing, finally knowing how right this feels.
They're already half undressed by the time they make it to the bed. Her more so than he is. His shirt lies on the floor next to the bed. His jacket and her jeans are...somewhere, back in the hallway. Jack sets her down gently onto the bed as her fingers run through his already sweaty locks. Moving from her chest to her face, he leaves a trail of kisses on her jawline before opening his mouth on hers in a raunchy, passionate kiss.
**Post-Coital**
They are both completely out of breath, both their hair a disheveled mess. Jack lays next to Liz desperately trying to catch his breath, laughing "Holy shit, I thought we were going to break the bed." He looked over at Liz, apologetically, finally realizing something. "I'm sorry."
Liz looks at him with a shocked expression, "For what?"
"We never got to go to the barbecue truck like I said we would." he breathes, half laughing at himself.
"Hey, you're right! You big jerk!" she lightly hits him. Not hard, but hard enough to let him know she's more than a little irked that she got to miss out on some food. "I was almost beginning to think it was just some evil plot to get me to sleep with you."
Jack laughed, "Evil Plot? Lemon, I'm not a devious as you clearly think I am. I had planned to go to the barbecue truck. However, other things came up."
Liz blushed, pulling the covers over herself. Jack leans his head on the back of his hands, grinning at the ceiling.
"Just let me ask you one question." says Liz, pulling the covers off of herself and leaning over him to look him straight in the eye. "How drunk are you?"
"Honestly?" He smiles, pulling her chin up to kiss her. "I feel completely sober." She looks at him skeptically, "Okay, buzzed at best. But certainly not drunk."
Satisfied with that answer she smiles and kisses him again. "Good. But you still owe me a barbecue sandwich, bucko"
He kissed her forehead as she lay down on his shoulder. He was totally okay with that.
"Oh and Jack?" she murmurs against him.
"Hm?" he mumbles, also almost near sleep.
"Thank you,"
"Your welcome Lemon."
END