Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or anything affiliated with it. If you sue you're a jerk and an ass!
A.N.- This is my first Sailor Moon fanfic ever so I hope everyone enjoys. It's AU first season, but in this fic they're both in High School. Serena: 16 and Darien: 17. All the scouts are already found and together but Darien and Serena don't know the other's identity. I know some are thinking I'm crazy for writing another fanfiction when I have so many already, but I really couldn't help myself. At least it's only a one-shot…for now. ;)
So Close, Yet So Far
LoverGurrl 411
/Hurry up and wait. So close, but so far away…close enough for you to taste but you just can't touch.
…We live and we learn to take one step at a time…it's like learning to fly or falling in love.
…You believe and you doubt. You're confused, you got it all figured out/
-One Step at a Time, Jordin Sparks
The wind was blowing and the air was clear. Serena stood there, facing Tuxedo. She stood there, fierce, looking like a warrior, and to him she was. He could not see past her very literal mask, and she didn't want him to. If he knew her, he'd know she wasn't fierce at all.
"I need some answers" she spoke quietly. Tuxedo mask heard the determination behind the words and knew that she wasn't joking, or just asking to ask. After the battle they'd had, he just wants to go home but his gentlemanly nature wouldn't allow him to leave her alone. He took her out of the finished battle because he wanted to hold her a little longer and he'd return her to her Scouts. It was in his blood.
'Your chivalry is going to get you killed one day' a voice whispered in his mind. His traitorous mind. The same one that told him to save her, and hold her just a tad bit closer.
"I can't guarantee some answers." He replied, ambiguous as always.
"I know," she started. "I'm not asking you to tell me who you really are, or any deep dark secrets. I just need to know you're a friend. My Scouts need to know." Sailor Moon finished hesitantly. Her throat burned with the words attempting to creep up. She needed to know that he'd always save her.
Her tattered clothes swayed in the wind and she felt more naked than before, when she was running for her life. Sailor Moon wrapped her arms tight around her waist, and Tuxedo Mask watched her intently. He watched her slender arms hold herself up, and he felt a sudden ache he hadn't known he had before slithering through his veins. It was warm and crushing simultaneously.
"I promise you that I'm your friend." Tuxedo Mask velvet voice spoke into the night, caressing Sailor Moon's skin. His voice created goose-bumps all over her body, and she shivered.
"And the Scouts?" Sailor Moon asked strongly. She wouldn't be swayed by silky words or a silky voice. She wasn't a great fighter, but she could do this. This she could do: be strong for her scouts when they weren't around to be strong for themselves.
"I can't promise you that." He said honestly. The honesty cost him, as he watched Sailor Moon turn her back to him. Her shoulders were rigid, and he knew that she was going to walk away. But she didn't. She turned right back around to him and grabbed his sleeve. She gripped the sleeve tight in her small hands and pleaded with him.
"Why? We're obviously fighting against the same enemy. Why do we have to be enemies?" She cried to him. She knew what he was going to say before he said it, but it hurt to hear it anyway.
"Because we all have our own agendas, Sailor Moon. That's just the way things are." He felt old as the words left him. He felt like he had lived a thousand years, though it had only been seventeen. He felt weighed down by the heaviness of drawing enemy lines with a beauty he'd rather bed than kill one day. All for some princess. Who's to say he wasn't delusional? Maybe there was no princess. Maybe it's all in his head.
Tiny diamond tears glittered at the corner of Sailor Moon's eyes, and he brushed them away. His gloves aren't able to take away the tiny tear tracks that were created, and maybe that was a foreboding warning from the Gods that allowed him to note that.
"We don't have to be. We can all get along! I know we can!" Sailor Moon beseeched him. Her optimism was so full of naivety and youth that he couldn't help but remember that this girl that dressed up in the middle of the night just like him, was probably his age – maybe a year older or younger but still around his age – and they all grew up too fast, while others like her, held on to that sanguinity.
He closed the distance between them in a split second and her arms went up in reflex, but all they met was his solid chest. It was covered by thick smooth clothing, but she could feel the heat of body under her palms and she felt her body react. She wanted so badly for all the fighting to stop. To just stop. She was tired and fatigued and she didn't want any more enemies. She wanted friends and maybe lovers that would show her what it was like to live in a world without danger, teaching her only the pleasures of silk sheets and chocolate covered strawberries.
"Maybe one day we all will" Tuxedo Mask said gently. He wanted to give her hope, only because such jejunity shouldn't be wasted on such sad and despondent thoughts. He wanted her to dance and sing and dream of a time when they can all laugh about the history they create with each battle. Tuxedo Mask wanted her to do all this because it wasn't in his nature to do so, and he so desperately needed someone to do so for him. But all thoughts stopped as he gazed into her eyes deeper than before and saw a light fire licking her irises. It was a dormant passion. It was licking her insides, waiting, and just like that he knew she'd never known the gratification of sharing her bed with another.
She was pure and untainted, and he wanted to taste those cherry lips that were battle worn and slowly healing themselves.
He leaned in and kissed her, knowing full well it was her first kiss. And what a kiss it was. Fireworks didn't explode in the night sky, and heaven didn't suddenly sing out over the world. Bombs were still dropping probably somewhere in the world, and somewhere a person's mother was crying, but for a few moments where Tuxedo Mask pretended he had no mask on and Sailor Moon pretended he knew he was kissing Serena – the klutz, everything wasn't right, but it was okay. It was okay in the kind of way that inspired famous paintings and sheer genius, and the moment was theirs. The princess of Tuxedo Mask's dreams couldn't strip him of that, and the scouts couldn't take it away from Sailor Moon, because the moment belonged to only them. Like a dream to its dreamers.
And in this kiss they dreamed together, of a world where dreams weren't needed because everything came true…but the kiss came to an end, and Tuxedo Mask silently lifted Sailor Moon into his arms. He jumped from building to building, leading further away from the them they were in that solitaire moment to the them they are in battle, until they finally reach the Sailor Scouts.
"There she is! Oh, thank God" Luna cried out to the scouts. 'As if Tuxedo Mask was the devil who kidnapped Sailor Moon' his mind scoffed, but deep inside himself, he knew he took something from Sailor Moon tonight that wasn't his to take. Her first kiss belonged to a guy who knew what she looked like in the daylight, eyes shining in happiness; it belonged to the same guy who knew what her test scores were, and what her hobbies were; whether it was eating chocolate ice cream – like Meatball head, his mind smiled – or studying – like her friend, Amy.
Serena. Tuxedo Mask couldn't help but think of the rant he would receive if he told her he'd stolen a girl's first kiss on a whim, thoughtlessly following sudden passion. He winced a bit at the thought of her reaction. Tuxedo Mask was sure he was in for at least one punch, if not a swollen foot.
'Serena.' Darien sighed in his mind.
Stealing Serena's first kiss would have been okay, because to her he was just a boy and she was just a girl. He talked to her on a daily bases, and sat at lunch with her. He sometimes even stopped teasing her long enough to comfort her if she was feeling down. He knew her happy face and her fake sad face like he knew his own facial expressions. He knew when Serena was angry and when she was merely annoyed…he knew her. And that is the difference. He knew Serena like maybe few could; like only a male can know her as you watch her long legs walk or the graceful dip of her shirt when she reaches to pick something up.
Stealing a kiss from Serena wouldn't feel this tainted with masquerade ball masks. It would have the stigma of home.
He released her, and she turned in his arms as they dropped hesitantly. Venus saw the subtle difference in their touch, and wondered what had changed. She was the first to reach Sailor Moon, and pounced, effectively ignoring Tuxedo Masks presence.
"Are you okay?" Venus asked loudly.
"Sure. But I'm starving!" Sailor Moon said joyfully – almost too much so. Her eyes were bright and as everyone reached them they felt content that when they asked later on what happened that took so long, Serena would tell the truth. But she wouldn't. Sailor Moon knew she would omit that part of her story that made her quake a tiny bit in anticipation, because it belonged to her and hers alone. No one had a right to know because there's no such thing as second hand passion, and the Scouts that were her best friends and she loved like family just wouldn't understand.
She knew the second Tuxedo Mask left the scene. The air shifted just a bit, and gravity went back to its natural axis when he wasn't around.
He unbalanced her. It unnerved her, but she couldn't help also wanting him for it. He was like this great forced that moved her, and in return he allowed her to see inside him every once in a while. She saw tonight the conflict within Tuxedo Mask's mind. Sailor Moon saw the battle that raged within him, and she knew he needed to hold her, so she let him.
It was…an experience. It wasn't perfect, but as Serena walked away from the park with her fellow soldiers, she acknowledged to herself that she wasn't expecting it to be. She was just expecting to feel needed, and that's what he gave her. Tuxedo Mask had given her what no one else had yet. He had made her feel like she was needed. Not just wanted; many people want her around. And not needed in the way the scouts need her to be around when a youma comes because they can't defeat one without her.
No. Tuxedo Mask chose her to be the one he needed for a few moments as his lips owned her, and that free will moved Sailor Moon like gravity moved the moon and Earth closer every once in a while. It moved her so much that she could feel passion contracting her chest and splashing across her abdomen as she thought about his sudden need for her. She thought and thought and the further she got away from Tuxedo Mask the hungrier her yearning became.
"Are you sure you're alright, Sailor Moon?" Amy asked, a worried look in her eyes. None of them had de-transformed yet, so she didn't dare say Sailor Moon's real name.
"Yea, you haven't said much since you got back." Lita tried to hint that maybe something had happened with Tuxedo Mask; the mystery she – and in reality all of them – coveted. Something had happened, but she would never tell.
'Never' Sailor Moon promised, with one swift look at the moon.
"Yea, I'm good guys. Just tired and hungry." Sailor Moon tried to appease their worries. "In fact, I could so go for one of Andrew's chocolate milkshakes right now! Yummm."
Lita, Amy, and Mina all rolled their eyes at their friend – Luna forgotten somewhere along the way out of the park. But Raye wasn't so easily deterred. She sensed the flames that were burning deep within Serena and she knew something was off.
"Where does he take you anyway, when you guys run off?" Raye asked, her eyes searching for something that maybe she wouldn't be able to find. Only a person who has known the sensual touch of another can see the imprint that is left behind on someone else.
Serena was quiet for a beat, looking for a suitable answer. But there was no suitable answer, to a question that unknowingly to the scouts had so deep a meaning. So Serena settled for the truth.
"Everywhere." She said simply, and it really did set her free. There had been an anxiety that had latched onto Sailor Moon the second she knew Tuxedo Mask wasn't near her, but that anxiety fled with her honest answer. He did take her everywhere when he held her in his arms, but Sailor Moon had to accept the reality – at least to herself – that Tuxedo Mask may never need her in that way again.
But it was okay. Because she knew he would always save her. The newly transformed woman inside of her told Sailor Moon that he would always save her. It's a connection created when two lips meet that ensured his heroics. And she would be waiting for the next time he did need her kisses.
And for the first time that night Serena genuinely smiled, and Darien and all the people in the world wherever they were unconsciously smiled too – reality and its problems forgotten for one quiet moment as the sun started to rise in Tokyo.
So, what does everyone think? I'm not exactly content with this ending but, ehh, what can I do? I just hope that it delivered. :) Tell me what you guys think and Review! :D