Valentine Jealousy
Karen wandered the halls full of crazy students of Internet Humor Junior High. She was the new girl and didn't know her place here. To make things worse she only had two videos that were barely funny. And to sum it all up, she only had ten comments (one from her mother too) and five of them were negative and the rest was spam. She wondered why did she get accepted to this school anyway? She sure as hell wasn't funny or popular either.
Then something hit Karen. She remembered why she got accepted her. Karen said in her essay on why she wanted to go here. She wanted to join Team That-Guy_With-The-Glasses. She made her videos similar to theirs. She played a character called, "That Fangirl with the Pigtails" or "Chibi Fangirl." But except of just a single subject like movies, video games, or books. She reviewed anything she fangirled over or what others fangirl over.
Karen opened up a door were the sign said, "Room 3." That would be her home room for the next year. The teacher knew who she was since she met her before she got accepted here. The teacher was an older lady who looked in her mid fourties but had a slim figure. "Karen, its great to see you in my class." The teacher said with a sincere smile. "My name is Mrs. Wanda. If you remember." The teacher said. Karen nodded.
"Let me introduce you to the class." Mrs. Wanda said. i"please don't, please, don
t, please, don't." /i She thought. The class was smaller than at her normal school. Instead of forty, there was ten or fifteen at maximum. Some of the students she has never seen the work of.
"Class, listen up!" Mrs. Wanda announced. The class stopped what they were doing and looked up at the teacher and the red head teen. "We have a new student. Her name is Chibi Fangirl." Wanda continued. Karen's heart was racing with fear. "Hi Chibi Fangirl." The class sang boredly as if a music teacher conducted it.
"You'll be sitting with Chick in the back." She was referring to Nostalgia Chick. A bored black haired teen stared out the window ignoring everything that went on. Then Karen sat next to her. "Um…hi." Karen tried to say. "If you're a student here, how come your not very popular." Chick spat. "Well, uh the school accpects newbies who try hard." Karen said looking at her palms.
"Don't be so hard on her. She'll be popular one day." A masculine tone said. He wore a brown hat and thin silver glasses. "Hi, I'm Linkara." He said. "I'm Chibi Fangirl." Karen nearly whispered. "She'll never be popular from the stuff she does." Chick said, grumpily. "Is Chick on PMS again?" Another boy teased. A blonde boy with a W on a yellow hat said. "No, I'm just asking a question." Chick said. "Then why are you so moody?" Linkara asked. "I have my reasons." Chick said.
"Take your seats. Today is Essay Day." Wanda announced. "Great…" The class moaned again. "You will have a prompt and have until the end of the period to finish." Wanda said. She turned to a brunette boy. "Ian, can you pass these out?" Wanda asked. "Certainly." He said, happily.
"Is that guy normally this happy in the moring or is he playing a part?" Karen asked. "Who knows? I think he always has a sugar high." Chick said. The boy named Ian passed out the papers to the back row. "Hey Cutie." He said to one of the girls in the back. "Shut up, Ian. You know I have a boyfriend." Chick groaned. "I was talking to new girl." Ian said. "Um, thanks?" Karen said.
The prompt was how do you see yourself and were do you want to be in a few years. Karen thought about it. She really didn't like herself that much, but she wasn't sure why. Maybe because she doesn't trust a lot of people. Maybe because its an insecurity. Maybe because others look down on her. All these negative thoughts ended up on paper. Pretty soon time was up, when Karen was barely finished. i "I just needed one more paragraph, and then I could finish." /i She thought.
A few classes pass and pretty soon it was break. Karen sat at a table and read one of her favorite manga, Sailor Moon. A girl with blue hair came up to her. "Hey you're the new girl, right?" The blue haired girl said. "Yes. I'm the Chibi Fangirl. You're Marzgurl, am I correct?" Karen asked. "Correct." Marzgurl said.
Marzgurl's eyes wandered around Karen. "Say, watcha reading?" She asked, eager to know. She took the comic out of Karen's hands. "Sailor Moon? You're an Otaku as well?" Marzgurl asked. "Yeah, kind of." Karen said. Marzgurl hugged Karen and said, "You're my new best friend!" "Okay." Karen said happily.
Marzgurl showed Karen around the school. Karen met other faces of the internet that she had never heard of. Some people scared her, others intrigued her, some she thought could be her potential friend. "Do you have any hobbies?" Marzgurl asked. "Drawing, singing, and watching TV." Karen answered. "Well, our choir department is the best in town." Marzgurl bragged. "In fact, we are getting ready for the musical in the spring; The Wizard of Oz." Karen blushed and said, "I'm not that good. I can barely act." "Come on, it'll be fun! Besides you wouldn't be here if you can't act." Marzgurl said.
After school, Marzgurl showed Karen to the choir room. The class was already hosting auditions. There were three celebrity judges, the printable, and the choir director lined up at a table. The other students who were trying out sat on chairs. Marzgurl and Karen sat in the back row.
Other students trickled in the room. The choir director studied his list of students trying out for the play. "Okay who is first?" One of the celebrity judges, Britney asked. "First is the Nostalgia Critic." The choir director said. "He's not here yet. He said he will be running late." The chick said. She sat in the middle row. "If he isn't here in ten minutes, then we have to disqualify him." The principle said.
"Wait, Marzgurl, I didn't sign up." Karen cried. "I already signed you up at lunch. Don't sweat it." Marzgurl said. "Okay, since the Critic will be running late, Megami, why don't you go up and show yourself worthy?" The choir director said. A short girl with a black haired bob stood on center stage. "I'll be trying out for the role of Glenda, the good witch." She announced. She read off lines, as the celebrity judges played background characters. After three minutes, Megami had finished her scene and returned to her seat.
"Okay next up is…" The choir director began. "Sorry, I am late. I was busy taking a math test!" The critic said out of breath. "So great of you to join us, Critic. Its your turn." The director said unenthustiacally. He stood on center stage. "I'll be trying out for the wizard." He announces. The same routine happens yet again.
Once the Critic was done, he dramatically bowed and headed towards the back row. "Wow, Critic, you're really good!" Karen said, in a tone of admiration. "Thank you. And you are….?" He asked. He didn't get the memo that there was a new student. "My name is Chibi Fangirl, and I'm one of your biggest fans!" Karen said. "Thank you. Are you trying out for the play as well?" The Critic asked. "Yes. Though, I am quite nervous about it." Karen said. "Don't worry about it. I try to ignore the other people when I act." The Critic said.
"Critic, are you flirting with her?" Chick asked angrily. "No, I was simply giving her words of wisdom from a guy as awesome as I am." Critic said to his girlfriend. "We were not flirting at all." Karen protested. "Chick, why don't you bother someone else?" Marzgurl asked. Chick said nothing and walked back to her seat.
"Don't mind her. She is just jealous of all the new kids." Marzgurl told her. "Why?" Karin asked. "Because she thinks she will loose her popularity to them." The Critic answered. This was going to be one long audition.
At the end of the audition line was Karen. She nervously got on stage. She saw her friends, Critic and Marzgurl give her a thumbs up saying good luck. Then someone yelled, "Damn, girl, you got swag!" It came from some guy called the Rap Critic. Karen jumped to her confidence pose and said, "I am Chibi Fangirl, and I'll be trying out for Dorothy!" She announced. She read aloud the lines given to her. Now she had to sing a song of choice. It didn't have to be from the musical, since this wasn't exactly the Wizard of Oz. It was more of the Wizard of Oz in a parrell universe. The play was also written by Megami, one of the people auditioning.
i "What to sing? I don't know any good songs! /i Karen thought. Then it came to her. "What will you be singing?" A celebrity judge named Justin asked. "Creep, by Radiohead." Karen announced. After two minutes of singing, the crowd cheered. Karen felt pride in herself for the first time in a long while.
"Okay, class just give us a day to decide who is going to be who." The principle said. "The results will be posted outside this classroom." The director said. Everyone hurried out of the room.
Marzgurl and Karen began walking home. "So you like the critic, huh?" Marzgurl said. Karen looked at her feet. "No. I'm not his type." Karen stammered. "I saw the way you talked to him, you little fangirl, you!" Marzgurl teased. "Shut up. I'm not interested in him." Karen said. Marzgurl stopped walking and put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Its okay to like him. Chick is just your typical school bully. Besides, if you want to know my crush, its Linkara!" Marzgurl said. "So what if I'm in love with him. He'll never love me back. He has Chick plastered to his side." Karen sighed. "I know it may be hard. But you can't be in denial your whole time. He will sooner or later find out you have feelings for him." Marzgurl said.
Later that night Marzgurl went on to her Skype account and saw some of her friends were online. She requested them to video chat. Soon, a girl with dark skin who wore goggles on top of her head; JewWario, Linkara, a girl named Lupa and some guy called Cinema Snob all appeared on Marzgurl's screen. "Hey what's up?" JewWario asked. "What do you guys think of the Nostalgia Pairing?" Marzgurl asked bluntly.
"Well that's one blunt question." The goggle girl said. "Yeah,, I mean its not nice to butt in." Linkara said. "Well, I have a friend who is in love with one of those people, but she feels that the other will torment them. And if you really think of it, they are not good together." Marzgurl explained. "Oh you mean that Fangirl likes Critic? We all figured that out already after seeing her at the auditions." Lupa said. "I didn't." The Cinama snob said. "She was shy when she entered and was totally all over him when she first saw him, Snob." JewWario explained.
"So guys, answer my question! Do you think Chick and Critic are a good match?" Marzgurl asked. "Nope." The goggle girl said. "No." JewWario said. "I don't think so." Lupa said. "No." Linkara said. "I don't like romance in the first place." The Cinama snob said. "And this is why you are single." Linkara said. "Go to hell!" Cinama snob said. "Shut up, I am a man!" Linkara snapped.
"Will you sissies stop fighting?" JewWario asked. "Guys, we need to break up these two. I feel that if we can get Fangirl and Critic together, Fangirl can love herself more and open up." Marzgurl said. "How do we do that?" The goggle girl asked. "Simple. Just tell the bluntly that they are god awful together." The Cinama Snob said. "We should probably tell them one at a time and not together." Linkara said. "Good idea." JewWario said. "Girls tell Chick, and boys tell Critic." Lupa said. "Got it." Everyone else said as they all logged off.
Marzgurl crawled into bed and remembered the first day the Critic and Chick started dating. None of them were the same. Chick used to be this lovable person, but then she became a bitch that most people hated. Critic used to be outgoing and funny but now he seemed enslaved and possessed. It wasn't the same. Maybe if Fangirl goes out with Critic she wouldn't be as bossy and whiney as Chick.
The next morning, Lupa had sent Chick a text to meet her and the other girls of her team outside the front gate of the school. Chick stood outside in the cold Illinois weather only wearing a gray sweatshirt and some shorts and sneakers. She shivered at the cold. The other girls approached her. "What do you guys need to tell me so badly?" Chick asked, in a sour tone. "Break up with Critic." The girl with goggles said. "Why?" Chick asked. "Chick, you are our friend, but we have seen what you have done to him and we can't tolerate it." Lupa said. "What did I do to him?" Chick asked. "You used to be funny, friendly and nice but now you became an manipulative bitch who makes the Critic, the manliest of man a whimp." Marzgurl explained.
Chick looked at her sketchers and thought about it. "I guess I really have. I hurt so many. I don't even know what I like about him besides his humor." The Chick admitted. "I'm such a bad person." She sobbed into Lupa's chest. Lupa hugged her. "Its okay." Lupa whispered. "Please, do it for the sake of your friends and Critic." Marzgurl said. Chick stopped sobbing and said, "I'll do it."
Meanwhile the Critic was just walking to school until he saw Linkara, Cinema Snob, and JewWario approach him. "Hey guys, how's it going?" The Critic asked in a friendly tone. "Break up with Nostalgia Bitch." Snob said. Linkara jabbed him with his elbow. "I mean break up with Nostalgia Chick." Snob corrected. "Why? We are great together." The three reviewers looked at him and shook their heads.
"What?" Critic asked. "We seen the pain she caused you. You are a complete weirdo since you started dating her." JewWario said. "She makes you go with her shopping at Juicy Frickin Couture with her. Is that what you want, Critic? To go shopping for female attire?" Snob asked. "I see what you mean…" Critic said. "I haven't been the same since we have been dating." "So, you'll become the loveable jerk we loved before she came into your life?" Linkara asked. "You thought I was a jerk?" Critic asked. "I said reviewer." Linkara corrected himself. "I know what I must do." Critic said. He walked off confidently and yelled, "I AM A MAN!" "No stealing my punch line." Linkara yelled back at him. "I AM THE F***ING NOSTALGIA CRITIC, AND HEAR ME ROAR!" The Critic shouted. "He's back." JewWario said.
Later that morning, the pairing looked at each other with confidence in their eyes. They were ready to say what they were hiding from one another. "I'm breaking up with you." The both said at the same time. Then they looked in shock. "You two?" The both asked at the same time. "Stop that!" They said together once more.
"Listen, Chick. You're a good person and all, but I'm not the same anymore since we started dating." The Critic said in a more suttle tone. "I was gonna say the same." Chick said. "I guess that means good bye, then." Chick sighed. "We can still be friends." Critic said.
"Oh, my gosh! Chibi Fangirl, did you hear?" Marzgurl approached Karen as if she was a kid who didn't take her ADD medication. "What?" Karen asked. "Chick and Critic broke up!" Marzgurl said. "That's good…I guess." Karen said, as she looked at her feet. "What's wrong? I thought you would be happy?" Marzgurl asked as she wrapped her arms around her sad friend. "You probably told them to break up, so you can be with me. If they were happy together, you didn't need to do it." Karen said.
"Chibi Fangirl, let me tell you something. When Lindsey became the Nostalgia Chick, everyone thought that she and Critic would become a good match since they both have Nostalgia in their name. So they were both peer pressured to go out with each other. Both of them were not happy. Chick became the jealous type and Critic became less fun to be around." Marzgurl explained. "Either way, he'll never go out with me." Karen said glumly. "He will, some day! A relationship takes time to build. Especially since you just met him yesterday." Marzgurl explained. "Thank you, Marzgurl." Karen said as she hugged her friend.
Later that day everyone crammed to see who played who in the musical. "Who am I? Did I make it in? Karen asked. She couldn't see over people's heads. "YES! I am the wizard!" Critic announced. "Dammit, Critic! I wanted to be the wizard." A boy named Anthony protested. "Sucks to be you." The Critic said ans skipped off.
Finally Karen got to see who she would soon play. She got a minor role, which was a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing was that she wouldn't have much screen time or costume changes. The bad thing was she really wanted to sing, but had no singing parts. She got the Aunt. "Marzgurl, who did you get?" Karen asked. "I got Dorothy." Marzgurl said in amazement. "Damn girl, your lucky." The girl in goggles said. "I got to be the munchkin."
Throughout the day Karen studied her lines. Then she overheard people talking. She saw Critic arguing with Anthony and Ian. "So Critic, we hear that you and Chick broke up." Anthony tormented. "Yeah, what's it to you?" Critic asked, really not caring since the Smosh team wasn't very good at being bullies. "We want to make a bet with you." Ian said. "And that is…?" The Critic asked, not amused with them. "Well the Valentines Day Dance is coming up and you have to choose which girl you wanna go with. But here's the catch you can't ask any one form your team." Ian explained. "What if I don't go?" The Critic asked. "Then you have to admit that Team Smosh is better than Team That Guy with the Glasses on the loudspeaker when everyone is at lunch." Ian said. "Fine but you have to do the same. If you fail to come with a girl you have to admit my team is better than yours." Critic said. "Stupid Critic, we have no girls on our team so this can be easy." Anthony said.
Karen continued minding her own business. She did want to go with Critic. But she didn't want to only be asked because of a bet. Not only that dances make her feel awkward.
That day at lunch the girls of That Guy with the Glasses were discussing on who they were taking to the dance. "Lupa, who are you taking?" The chick with goggles asked. "I can't go. I'm going out of town that week. My aunt is getting remarried on the exact day of the dance." Lupa said. "Todd is taking me!" Nostalgia Chick announced. "I was going to ask Linkara, but I wasn't sure if I had the courage." Marzgurl said. "I'm not going." Karen said, sipping on her milkshake that tasted like chalk. "Why not?" The Chick with Goggles asked. "Dances make me feel weird. Not only that I'm sure no one wants to go with me."
A girl with curly brown hair and glasses sat down next to Nostalgia Chick. "Did you ask him?" Nostalgia Chick asked. "He said yes!" The girl squealed. "Nella, who did you ask?" Marzgurl asked. "I asked Ma-ti. He said that every girl he asked wasn't interested in him. So I was lucky." The brunette said. "Nella is luckier than I am." Karen moaned in depression and laid her head on her arms. "Its okay, we can make you feel less awkward when it comes to dances." Marzgurl said. "Besides our dances are different from other schools. It has games and movies too." The Chick with Goggles said. "This year they are playing DDR!" Nella said.
"Dances are not the only thing that kind of scare me. I haven't been on a date at all. I'm not sure on how I should act." Karen said. "We'll help you." Marzgurl said. "How?" Karen asked. "Girls, meet me at my house after school today." Marzgurl announced. "We are going to help Fangirl."
That day all the girls (and Linkara) met at Marzgurl's house. "So can you tell me why am I here?" Linkara asked. "We need you to help Fangirl out. She has boy trouble." Lupa asked. "You want me to give her advice? You made me mess my comic book club for love advice?" Linkara asked. "Oh Linkara, you nerd." Nostalgia Chick giggled. "We need you to role-play with us to make Karen a little more comfortable." Lupa said. "You're kidding? Can't you get Paw or Todd to do it?" Linkara asked. "No, you were the only one we could find in the last five minutes." Lupa said. "Also, put this on." Marzgurl said handing him a black baseball cap and a red tie. "Why?" Linkara asked. "Just do it." Marzgurl told him.
"Fangirl, you can come out now." Marzgurl told Karen. Karen came from a room with the Chick with the Goggles wearing a fancy red dress. "Linkara, I want you to pretend to be Critic, and Fangirl be yourself." Marzgurl told the two. "Is that why I'm dressed differently?" Linkara asked. "Yes." Marzgurl said. "But you can't ask Cinema Snob when he clearly looks like Critic's clone?" Linkara asked. "Cinema Snob is a kill joy." Nella said. "We'll pay you twenty bucks if you stay." Lupa bribed. "Fine." Linkara grumbled.
"Fangirl, the first rule in asking a guy out is acting casual. Start with a normal causal conversation." Lupa explained to Karen. Karen walked up to Linkara (who was dressed as Critic) and tried to start a conversation. "Hey Critic, I see you got the role you wanted." Karen said. "Yep." Linkara said, acting all cool. "So I was wondering if you wanted to rehearse with me at my house. You know if you want to?" Karen asked. "That's cool." Linkara said. "Also do you want to go to the dance with me?" Karen asked.
"Fangirl, I think that was too blunt." Lupa said. "Lets try this again. Instead talk about something else." Marzgurl said. The whole day, Karen did hopeless attemptes of asking fake Critic out.
The next day Karen was practicing her lines again. Then someone tapped her on the shoulder. It was Critic. "Hi, Critic. How is it going?" Karen asked all cheery. "Hey Fangirl, I was just wondering…" Critic began. "About what?" Karen asked. "If you wanted to go to the Valentines Dance with me." Critic asked nervously. "You mean it? This isn't part of a bet or anything?" Karen asked. "No, I really mean it." Critic asked. "I'd love to." Karen said with a blush on her face. "Cool, I'll see you next week. I'll pick you up at six." Critic told her. When he left Karen screamed with joy.
A week had passed and the dance was an hour away. Karen stared at herself in the mirror. She wore a strapless lavender dress that went to her knees. It fit her figure nicely since most of her clothes were baggy and didn't show off her curves. She had curled her brown hair with a curling iron. She still seemed nervous.
Another hour had passed and Critic picked her up like he said he would. The dance had tons of games; Twister, DDR, Spin the bottle, Quelf, and Apples to Apples. Karen decided to play Quelf with some of the kids and so did Critic. After twenty minutes in the game, Ian and Anthony pulled Critic aside. "Its time Critic. Anthony has brought a hot girl." Ian bragged. "What are you talking about?" Critic asked. "Our bet. Where's your girl?" Anthony asked. Critic pointed to Karen who looked furious. She found out. "You said this wasn't part of a bet. I thought you actually cared for me." Karen cried.
Karen ran out of the room sobbing. "Looks like you loose, Critic." Ian said. "You bastards, you planned for this to happen." Critic growled. "So what if we did. We still win." Anthony said. "I almost had a chance with her, and you blew it for me." Critic said. "Oh, do you really like her? The wallflower?" Ian teased. Critic growled once more. "I'll make you pay just you wait." Critic huffed and chased after Karen.
Karen began walking home. Tears rolled down her eyes. Mascara has been running down her face. A man honked out her. "You need a ride somewhere?" a man asked. He spoke with a Brooklyn accident and looked about forty years old. "Anywhere but here." Karen said. "Hop in." The man said.
The man had taken her to a strip club that was called, "Party Lounge." "What is this place?" Karen asked. "A strip club." A man said as he took off his leather jacket. "I don't feel comfortable here." Karen said in fear. "What you afraid off taking your clothes off in public?" The man asked. "Kinda." Karen said. "Then why don't we have a private show? You and me." The man whispered. His face centimeters from Karen's. His breath smelt like cigarettes and liquor. "No, stop!" Karen turned her head and tried to open the door. It was locked. "Critic! Marzgurl! Someone save me!" Karen banged on the window.
"No one can hear you scream here." The man said as he loosened his belt and let his pants dropped. "Get me out of here." Karen cried. Just then something crashed threw the back window. A bullet. "Let the teenager go." A man said. It was Critic with his pistol. "Critic-Kun." Karen said in shock. "Whatcha gonna do about it punk?" The man asked. "I'll shoot. And this time, I won't miss." Critic threatened as he tightened his grip around his gun.
The man unlocked the door and let Karen out. "Screw it. This bitch was ugly anyway. I'm not into the emo chicks." The man said and drove off. "Fangirl are you alright?" Critic asked as he stroked her hair. "I'm still mad at you. You said that you really meant it." Karen snapped. "Fangirl, listen to me." Critic began. "What?" Karen asked. "I asked you out because I really meant it. I forgot about the bet. Those boys were stupid anyway. I know you like me the same way I feel about you." Critic said. "How did you know?" Karen asked. "Marzgurl told me. She said that you liked me for a while. And I thought about it and I really like you too, Fangirl." He pulled her into a long passionate kiss. "Fangirl, will you be my valentine?"