Vanilla Twilight
Kai inhaled the gentle scent of vanilla, coming from his room. 'Vanilla' he thought, sadness overwhelming him. It was Valentine's Day and this was the one day he hated the most. There was NOTHING in the world he hated more, not even Tyson's stupidity. Not because of the mushy nonsense it acted as a catalyst for, but for personal reasons.
The stars bend down to kiss you,
And I lie awake and miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
He sighed and closed his eyes. It had been 4 years….since he had last seen her. Exactly 4 years, 6 hours and 39 minutes….and 15 seconds for accuracy. He counted them…counted them like his heartbeats. He missed her a bit too much…it killed him. While she danced with the stars, he stood here missing her…he needed her like the air he breathed.
Cuz I'll sleep safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms aound me
I tend to postcard to you dear,
Cuz I wish you were here.
How true. He had a huge file full of postcards…which he had never sent, because he knew, the place he had gone…no postman could reach. He missed her arms as he slept, and his dreams were filled with her violet eyes. Sometimes he could feel her arms, but when he opened his eyes, there was no one there.
I'll watch the night turn light blue,
But its not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly…
He remembered, the summer before she had left him. They had sat up and watch the night change. She had cuddled into him. And his arm tightened around her waist. He now watched the same thing, but it was never as beautiful as it was that summer, when they had spent time together, not realizing that it was the last summer they had together.
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel bad,
Cuz the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.
His silence was bearable…for him at least. Hilary and Tyson talked enough to make up for his lack of it. When those two fought, he often found himself looking at his fingers, and a sense of loss overtook him. His hands…between his fingers, the gaps. This was were her fingers, and only her fingers, fit perfectly. No one could ever achieve that. No one.
I'll find and propose in new ways,
For I haven't slept in two days.
Cuz cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
He picked up the bouqet of vanilla flowers and stood up, to leave. "Where you going Kai? Who are the flowers for?" Hilary said. "Out. Someone." He knew they would follow him. Personally, he didn't care. He had an appointment with her.
But drenched in vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you,
I don't feel so alone…..
He stood near her grave and gently placed the flowers on it, and kissed her tombstone. "Misaki…I wish…I really do wish you were here right now…to see me," he whispered, fully aware that his friends were watching him.
I don't feel so alone…..
"We're so sorry, Kai…" started Rei. "She was 13. My best friend…and my girlfriend. We were madly in love with each other. She had cancer…blood cancer. She was the most beautiful and the strongest girl I've ever seen. She could oust Hilary in a yelling match…" said Kai quietly, not allowing them to apologize.
I don't feel so alone…..
Tyson placed a hand on his shoulder. "I understand man. My mother died of cancer too…it was hard for me, so it must be hard for you…just know that, we are here for you. I know that I'm not the best person to talk to about intellectual stuff and all, but if you need someone, I am here for you."
As many times as I blink,
I'll think of you….
Tonight….
I'll think of you tonight….
"Kai, she wouldn't want you to kill yourself about it…." Said Hilary. "I know. That is why I hate this day…she died 4 years ago on this very day. Her last words were, 'Kai, be strong for me. Please don't cry…no matter what I'll always be with you, hovering over you during all your matches, no matter what.' Vanilla was her favorite flavour, colour and flower," he said softly, awarding all of his friends a smile…a rare treat for them.
When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings get lighter,
I'll chase the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back to the past,
I'd whisper in your ear….
"oh darling I wish you were here…"
Somewhere in the sky, a beautiful angel cried tears of joy. Her Kai was finally opening up. He was beginning to feel alive again….he was forgetting the abbey, but she knew, he would never forget her. Ever.
Because, we love only once in our lives. And Kai was certain, as well as the angel, that they would never love anyone that way again.