And the Ice Was Melted By the Fire
…yes, and Slytherin just beat
Hufflepuff in the last Quidditch match – not that it was much of a challenge!
Hufflepuffs are foolish prats, like you've always said, Father. I'm doing quite
well in my studies, thanks, and like usual, I'm still top of the class in
Potions. That old oaf, Hagrid, continues to bring horrifying monster after
another in Care of Magical Creatures. It's disgusting. I still can't see why he hasn't been sacked. The only
reason he ever got the job in the first place is because of Dumbledore, anyway.
Soft-hearted Muggle lover.
Must go, it's dinnertime. Tell
Mother that I send my love and best wishes to her.
Yours,
Draco
P.S.
By the way, I've included some photographs of me and my friends…particularly
Ginny Weasly. I do know you rather don't approve of our relationship, Father,
but Mother doesn't mind, try to understand, please.
Lucius crumpled up the letter that
just arrived via owl into a ball and tossed it dismissively into the
wastebasket. He'd stopped reading the postscript the moment he'd caught sight
of the words Ginny Weasly. What on earth had possessed his son to
fall in love with a Weasly – a redheaded, hot-tempered, Muggle-loving Weasly?
Lucius snatched the envelope harshly
and proceeded to tear it in half. When a small stack of photographs fell out.
Admittedly curious, Lucius leaned down and lifted the first one to look at –
and nearly had a heart attack.
Lily.
Oh. My. God. Lucius clutched
at the photo, grabbed at it with white, shaking hands (and nearly tearing it in
the process). Yes, that was her all right, that was Lily. That was his
Lily. Oh crap, oh crap. And that tall, slim figure next to her? Him. All over.
The silvery-blond hair, the clouded gray eyes that never failed to leave a
person pondering the mystery of the enigma that they were in the company of.
Hell, most people never even bothered trying to figure him out – they
knew that he'd just push them away, and not gently, either, as harsh as Expelliarmus.
But Lily, she was different. She just bounced over, with all of her fiery,
spirited charm and flung open the door to Lucius's shadowy world. Knock? No, of
course not. Lily Evans never bothered with social pleasantries, because she
was…well…she was Lily.
That was why he'd loved her. Why he
still loved her, even in her death.
Lucius paced the study, cursing
heavily under his breath. All right. Breathe. Good. Oh, hell, screw this.
Lily, Lily, Lily. Damn it, damn it. Shit. Lucius shook his head. This was
too complicated. Lily. And him. As teenagers. Sent by Draco. Right.
Whatever. Lucius seized the
picture again, with a bit more aggression than necessary, and stared at it
until his eyes were practically burning holes through it. Oh, yeah, that was
Lily. The turbulent-yet-beautiful tumbling coppery red hair. The soft, ivory
skin. The sparkling brown ey—
Hang on. Stop the tape. Brown
eyes? Lily had green eyes, he remembered them clearly. The laughing, shiny
green eyes bubbling with mirth…
Lucius flipped the photograph over.
On the back was scribbled in Draco's elegant script "Ginny and I by the
lake."
He exhaled, annoyed that he'd released all that
pent-up frustration over a stupid photo of his son and his girlfriend. So. That
was Ginny Weasly. But still, a tiny voice in the back of his head argued, Bullshit,
Ginny and Draco. That's Lily, that's Lily! That's you and Lily, so many years
ago…
*
"I. Bloody. Hate. James. Potter."
Lucius sat down next to Lily as she
flopped down onto the soft green grass next to the lake, muttering and rambling
under her breath about the obnoxious, evil creation called James Potter. "What
did Potter do now?" he asked, sounding weary but inside fuming at the little
prick. How dare he do anything to Lily? Beautiful, sarcastic, sweet
Lily. Goddess.
Lily rolled over onto her stomach to
face him. "Look at me! Just look at me!" she nearly spat, gesturing at
herself.
Gladly, Lucius wanted to say.
Any excuse for him to stare at Lily without getting strange looks from her was
a godsend to him. He studied her thoughtfully, scrutinizing her face and, yeah,
her body. Of course, teenage hormones played no part in this little
examination, he hurriedly assured himself. "I see no difference," he said
flatly, pushing all possible traces of emotion out of his voice should she
detect the love and admiration he tried hard not to convey.
Lily
rolled her eyes. "Now don't get all elitist snob with me, Luc. You forget that
you're with the only person who knows it's faked."
A
careless, flippant statement, but Lucius nearly wept at those words. They were
so true. Lily was the only person who he'd let into his life, the only person
who he cared about, the only person who cared about him. Moreover, the
only person he'd let himself care about, let her care about him.
"Okay,"
Lucius said. He stared at her hard, determinedly pushing away all…er, indecent
thoughts. Then his brow scrunched up. "Er…Lily…is it me, or are your freckles purple
hearts?"
Lily let
out a loud, pitiful wail. "Ooohhh, is it that obvious?" she howled. "I'm
going to kill Potter!"
Me
first, Lucius thought. "What do you mean, 'is it that obvious'?"
Lily
rolled her eyes. "Oh, well, if you actually noticed them, then there
must be like a neon red sign flashing above my head reading 'Everyone Line
Up to See the Freak With Purple Heart-shaped Freckles'."
"If I noticed?"
"Yeah. I
mean, if Lucius Malfoy, Captain Oblivious, took the time to realize they were
there then…ugh!" Lily buried her face in her hands.
"Captain
Oblivious? Gee, thanks," Lucius responded dryly. "God, Lily, you are so conceited
about your appearance." Although you definitely have the right to be, he
added silently.
Lily
whipped her head around and glared at him. "Am not!"
"Then why
do you care so much about your purple hearts?"
Lily
frowned. "I…oooohh, I hate Potter!"
*
As long
ago it had been, Lucius remembered every detail of that day vividly. Remembered
each day he had ever spent in the company of his magnificent, fiery angel, Lily
Evans. How could he not? They'd been the best days he'd ever had, the only good
days he'd had.
Lucius
stared at the photo in his hand. Lily. Ginny. Lucius. Draco. It was like Draco
had sent this photograph of him and his girlfriend to – to torture
Lucius, taunt him. Ha ha, Father, you missed your chance with Lily. You
could have had her, Father, you could have. But you just let James Potter take
her. But now, I have her. I have Lily Evans reincarnated. I didn't let
Harry Potter have her, I actually took action. Not like you, Father. Not like
you…
*
"You what?"
A
slightly hurt look flashed across Lily's delicate features. "I accepted," she
said simply.
Lucius
pressed a hand against his temple. Okay. This isn't happening, this isn't
happening… "Let me get this straight. James Potter asked you to the
Graduation Ball…and you bloody accepted?" he blurted out. "Last time I
checked, you hated Potter!"
Lily
blinked, as if that thought had just occurred to her. "Okay, well…I don't know.
It just—happened. He asked me while I was leaving the common room and I – I
just said okay. It was as if he'd never played that dumb prank on me. Besides,"
she added, lifting an eyebrow, "he really is pretty damn cute." She smirked.
Lucius
wondered what Lily would say if he fainted dead away on the spot.
"Anyway,"
Lily continued, "what's it to you? Aren't you happy for me?" She nudged him
playfully.
He forced
a smile. "Right, Lily. If you…well, if you like him, then…I guess so."
He hurried on with the negativities. "But hey, I don't think that he's your type,
Lil. I mean, maybe you guys just aren't…aren't right for each other.
Yeah, I don't think so. After all, I don't know, but I think you deserve
someone a bit more—more—"
"Lucius,"
Lily interrupted. "You are so babbling."
I
don't care if I'm blathering. I'll turn the babble faucet on till I drown you in
gibberish, as long as it keeps you away from that arrogant git. "Oops." He
gave her a weak smile. "I just want what's best for you, Lily." Ugh, right,
give her the 'I'm happy if you're happy' b.s.
"Lucius, sweetie, that's cute of you, but
don't worry, I don't need you to start in on some loving brotherly talk crap.
I'm a big girl." Lily flashed him an impish grin. " 'Sides, Luc, it's not like
I'll be doing anything…say, graphic – not like Molly Berenson and Arthur
Weasly, anyway." Lucius snorted at the mention of the practically
already-married couple. "Okay, yeah, probably some major tongue action will be
happening, but don't tell me that you're going to try and prevent that.
Teenage hormones and all." She smirked again.
Interesting.
Not many people could pinpoint the exact moment that their lives fell apart.
Lucius was obviously a very special case. At the very moment Lily made her
sarcastic comment about James' extremely overactive hormones, he could tell
that she was completely into him. After all, Lucius knew Lily better than he
knew himself, and often he could pin down her emotions much better than Lily
herself could. Lily so wanted James.
Lucius
nodded. "Yeah. Okay," he said simply. "Later, Lily."
Lily
smiled. "See you, Lucius," she answered, turning to head back to Gryffindor
Tower. "So, any last words for the much-envied date of James Potter?" she
prompted dryly. "I don't know, how about good luck against those evil
Hufflepuff that'll be puke-green with jealousy of me?"
Lucius
pasted a smile on his face. "Right. Good luck, Lils. See you later."
"Bye!"
Lily blew him a kiss and bounced away with full-on perkiness.
Lucius
was hit with an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness, standing in the
middle of the hallway. Lily had left him. Left him for Potter. For someone
better, for someone who deserved her much more than he did.
But that
was okay. Hurt, loss, misery. He was used to it.
*
I love
you.
That's
what he should have said to her. But he hadn't. He'd been too afraid. Too
afraid of rejection. Because rejection from Lily wouldn't be like anything
else. It would be crushing. Devastating. Their entire friendship, which he'd
worked so hard to build as a foundation for a possible blooming romance to take
place, would be torn to bits. So he hadn't.
And so
because of his cowardice, she'd gone and married James Potter, and he had ended
up in a hapless marriage with a woman he didn't love, serving the Dark Lord and
having a son who despised him. Fate was definitely interlinked with the enemy,
Pain. At least, that was how it obviously was for him, Lucius Malfoy.
He should
have told her that he loved her, all those years ago. He should have.
But he
hadn't. And he'd never have that same chance again.
Lucius
opened the huge glass doors and stepped out onto the balcony into the cool,
dark night. He stared up at the stars until he found the brightest one in the
sky, the one most like his Lily. Lils, he thought, I should have told
you this a long time ago. But you know me. I've never been punctual. So I'll
have to let you know so much later. I'm sorry, Lily. He blew out his breath.
Lily....I love you.
He gazed
at the stars for a long time. And then a cool gust of wind blew a delicate
petal of a lily into his hands. And he smiled.
He still hated Ginny Weasly.
But Lily Potter finally knew that he loved her, even though Lily Evans never
had. It was too late, way too late for Lucius to change anything. He should have
let her know ages ago.
But, still...
Better late than never.
A/N: ::blinks:: So. That was my completely horrible
attempt at capturing an angsty, soft side of the hard Malfoy persona – kind of
a warmup for the next chapter of Midnight. ::cough::shameless
plug::cough:: It's definitely not as good and depressing as I wanted it to be.
Do review and tell me if it's good or not, because I personally think it's
complete b.s. But hey, that's just me.
