A/N: Set several years in the future. Takes into account some of the events that will happen in the March 27th episode, but there really aren't any spoilers. Angsty at times.

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It had been a mistake. She could see that now. A giant, colossal, New Year's Day Parade blimp-sized mistake. She hadn't thought it possible to make such a big mistake. She'd really tried to make it work this time. She'd gone to the ends of the Earth for him, and he had left anyway. She'd left a job she loved and the friends who felt like family, and where had it gotten her? Nowhere.

She got up off the couch in an attempt to stop the impromptu pity-party she could feel coming on. She stood in front of the bathroom sink and splashed cold water over her face, in some bizarre attempt to drown her emotions. Looking into the mirror, she had a hard time recognizing the face staring back at her. She didn't look like Allison Cameron, brilliant immunologist with a bright future. She looked tired and thin, like she hadn't slept in weeks. She looked beaten and bruised, like the world had finally gotten it's way and completely screwed her over. Which, basically, was what had happened, she decided.

She felt hollow and drained. Devoid of any emotion whatsoever. She wished she could feel something, some anger or hatred towards him, some kind of sorrow even. She wished she could say that her world was ending, but she knew that it wasn't. Somewhere deep inside her, she had never expected anything more than this from him. He was her substitute, when she finally realized she could never have what she wanted.

So here she sat, a broken woman in a strange city, living the life she'd always thought she would be able to avoid. She existed, but she didn't care anymore. Not the way she used to. That was the part that scared her the most. She felt incomplete, like she had nothing to offer the world. She wanted to understand again, to start bawling when she had to tell someone they were going to die. She wanted to escape from the darkness that had swallowed her since she had left her old life behind. She wanted to turn back time, to get a chance to be what she could have been.

Thoughts still racing in her head, she changed into her favorite pair of sweatpants and climbed into bed. Pulling the covers around her slim frame, she shifted uneasily, trying to get some sleep. Her mind wouldn't turn off. Finally, she gave up and climbed back out of bed, grabbing the coffee pot for another of her nighttime rituals. That's what they were, she realized. Rituals. The thinking, the insomnia. The coffee. She poured herself a cup and heated it in the microwave, before sitting down at the table. She turned the warm mug in her hands, staring into space rather than drinking it. Her thoughts drifted back to her old life, to the only place she had ever really thought of as home. She was sure Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was just as quirky and full of life as it had been when she left. She knew that their reputation was still excellent in the medical community, having read several articles about it.

Acting purely on impulse, she picked up the phone and dialed a number she hadn't used in a long time.

"Hello?" The sleepy voice on the other end inquired.

"It's Cameron." She replied.