Title: Just Might Make Me Believe
Author: Katie
Disclaimer: Don't own it, if I did Patrick and Eric would be mine!! The song belongs to Sugarland, don't own that either!!
Summary: Could a song on the radio help get Derek and Meredith through this tough time? Take place right after the locker room scene in Didn't We Almost Have it All?
AN: Ok so this story is a little bit of an AU but not really, the only difference is that Christina and Burke actually do get married and we see the reception afterwards. MerDer without a doubt! Enjoy and I am super welcoming to reviews so read and enjoy!
"If you want to break up with me, so that you can see other women, just do it. Don't tell me you met another woman. Just end it, if that's what you want."
"I can't."
"Sure you can, here's how it goes. Meredith, I don't want to see you anymore. Meredith, I don't love you anymore."
"Meredith, I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So, I'm asking you, if you don't see a future with us. Please... please just end it because I'm in it. Put me out of my misery."
"I... I can't. Christina's getting married. I have to go... to make sure she's getting married."
"Meredith?
"I really need to make sure she gets down that aisle."
"Let's go, we're running late."
The car ride to the church had been quite except for the radio playing quietly in the background. So much had been going on in their lives the last couple of weeks. Meredith had somewhat recovered from her "drowning" experience, her mother had died, her stepmom had died, her estranged father had slapped her across the face in front of her peers, she had taken her intern exams and passed and now Derek was telling her that she was the love of his life. 'Could he be serious, I mean could I be the love of his life, me the biggest mess on the face of this planet' Meredith thought to herself. And then there was Derek. Derek obviously had been meeting other women. 'I can't believe I said that to her, good job Derek real McDreamy of you, you gave her permission to just walk right out of your life for good, what the hell is the matter with you.'
As Derek was lost in his train of thought, Meredith leaned forward and turned the radio up a little louder, she had heard this song earlier that morning while she was driving to the hospital. 'God I hope he hears this song, if only I could open my heart and say these words to him.' Meredith thought to herself. She could see the church in the distance. 'Well so much for that idea' she thought
The louder sound brought Derek back to reality, he looked over at Meredith, he gazed at her for only a second, she was so beautiful, so delicate, so the woman that he had fallen in love with.
"You like this song or something?" he asked with a slight chuckle, "I only ask because rarely do you turn the radio up."
"I just…I uh…I heard it on my way into work this morning and it just…it hit a soft spot, you'll see…" 'I hope' she thought
I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bills on the table gettin' higher and higher
They just keep on comin', there ain't no end in sight
I'm just holdin' on tight
Derek listened to the words, so far they had pretty much spelled out their relationship; they had jumped through so many hoops and climbed so many hills together. Yet they had done it all together, deep in his heart Derek knew that they were meant to be together, like he had told her earlier, she was the love of his life. From the moment he met her at Joe's he had constantly been making plans in his head. He wanted to build their dream house on their land, he wanted to be able to wake up next to this magnificent woman every day for the rest of his life, he wanted to share the good times and the bad times. 'I need to work this out' Derek sighed to himself.
I got someone who loves me more than words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face
Still it's hard to find faith
Meredith looked across the car to Derek, she could tell that he was listening to the song and she was hoping that he was reading it the same way she was. She reached across the console and put her hand on his upper thigh. He quickly took his right hand and placed it on top of hers squeezing it slightly. He looked over to her staring back at him. He loved looking in to those green eyes, they were his world, but there was something different about them. Something he wasn't quite sure how to explain. He smiled, causing her to return the favor. And just for a second they were lost in each other.
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe
Derek pulled into the church parking lot and turned off the ignition, causing their moment of solace to end. 'Damn..' she thought. She quickly retrieved her hand from underneath his and opened the door.
"I'll see you in there" she said turning around and giving him a small smile.
"Yea, I'll be waiting for you at the altar" he said as she closed the door and ran inside.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
Derek walked outside for a quick breather before going back in to usher people to their seats. The lyrics kept running through his head, 'And I'm thankful for that each and every day…Still it's hard to find faith.' Derek knew that this was the first real relationship Meredith had ever been in, it had to be hard and with the ways he kept leaving her it had to be hard for her to find faith in him. He had broken her trust so many times, first it was Addison, and then it was calling her a whore after promising to be her friend and of course telling her that he had met a woman last night. 'How can I blame her when I am the one who keeps pushing her away?' After all he had promised her that he would always show up.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
Two hours into the reception
The wedding had gone well; Christina had found out that she washed her vows off of her hand earlier when she scrubbed into surgery, but Meredith had been there to talk sense back into her. She was pleased with herself; she had been an extraordinary maid of honor. Yet she was fed up with herself at the same time; she had been anything but extraordinary to her knight in shining whatever. She giggled to herself, 'knight in shining whatever, what was I thinking' but that's what he had been to her. He had come and rescued her from her dark and twisty self and turned her into the person she had long ago dreamed of becoming. She loved him, and she knew that he was the love of her life.
She looked up from her seat and noticed him across the room talking to Mark, his best friend. She was so glad when they had finally made up and were back to their old selves. She had seen a side to Derek that she had never seen before, something that apparently only Mark could bring out in him. They were laughing about something, when the song filled the room. Derek immediately stopped mid sentence and looked up right into Meredith's eyes. She noticed him excuse himself from Mark and make his way across the crowded room to her.
"Can I have this dance?" he asked holding out his hand to her.
She stood up and let him escort her on to the dance floor. The song was picking up right where it had stopped earlier.
It's just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What I'd give for an address out on Easy Street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind
Life had never been easy for either one of them. Neither one had experienced a normal childhood. Her mom was never really there and of course her father split when she was young. She was raised on the idea that she was a mistake and basically a waste of space and time. He grew up without a father, his dad dying at an early age. Unlike Meredith he had a loving mother and four sisters to keep him going. They had both gone through med school, had their share of awful relationships and had put each other through hell. But that was life for them, there was never an "easy" street, but that is what made them out to be the people that they are.
Meredith lifted her head off his shoulder to see him looking and laughing at her margarita that was sitting on the table.
"Is that margarita helping you unwind?" he joked.
"I'm sorry" she replied. It was obvious to him that she was talking about their earlier conversation.
"Ssh, we can talk about it later" he said. 'I'm not ready for you to leave me yet' he thought sadly to himself.
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe
I used to believe in us when times got tough
But lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough
Upon hearing the last few lines, Meredith felt like the wind was being knocked out of her. She did used to believe in her and Derek and happily ever after. But then Addison came along and everything about happily ever after quickly flushed itself down the drain. She hadn't been sure if she was ever going to be able to trust him again, especially after she found out that he had picked her. There was a time when she felt like love wasn't enough to pull them through. For the longest time she thought it was all in her head. He was the guy of her dreams, her knight in shining whatever; she would never be able to walk away. Never.
Ohhhhhhhh
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me
Oh you just make me
You just might make me believe
That was it, it was done. This time he had heard the entire song, but was he going to react to it the way she wanted him to react to it. They held on to each other for a little bit longer not wanting this feeling to end. To them the song was still playing over and over in their minds.
She was brought back to reality when he whispered "We need to talk" in her ear.
She followed closely behind him as he took her to the gardens where he had gone before the ceremony. Walking outside she gasped at the beauty in front of her, there were rows of roses, all different colors and the smell of them lingered in the air. He lead her over to the middle of the flowers, then stopped and turned grabbing hold of her hips to bring her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and for the longest time they just stood there looking at each other, lost in each other's gaze.
"I promise we will be alright and I promise I will never leave." He stated as he looked into her eyes. She could tell that he was serious. His eyes always went to a deep, dark blue when he was serious. "I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old, in your arms. I want a lifetime with you and I will wait as long as I have to, because Meredith I love you."
"I'm still mad at you and I don't know if I trust you, I wanna trust you, but I don't know if I do. So I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you. Because I believe that, we can be extraordinary together, rather than ordinary apart...I love you. You are my soul mate, my one true love, and my knight in shining whatever." She finished with a very innocent smile.
He grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug, taking in the calming lavender smell of her conditioner.
"Mer, I'm sorry, it's just…this case I had today it got me thinking about stuff I should not have been thinking about it. I was tired and my brain was on overload and that's no excuse, but I spoke before I thought. And I regretted it as soon as I said it, but before I had time to say anything you had already reacted to it."
"It's ok, you know we've both had a really hard time these last couple of months, it's understandable."
"Look I know I give you absolutely no reason to trust me, I've hurt you more than I ever have anyone and I am so sorry for that. You are the last person I have ever wanted to hurt. It's just…pulling you from that water, breathing life back into you…it…it opened my eyes to how easily I can lose you. I know that I told you I can't breathe for you anymore, I was wrong, I can…I can't lose you again…I can't watch you walk out of my life."
"You don't need to breathe for me, that is my responsibility not yours and you were right in saying what you did that night. I should not have been mad at you for that. And Derek, you won't lose me, I can't walk out of your life; you are the love of my life. I know that I seriously suck at this communication thing, but I am working on it I promise." She paused for a minute letting all she just said sink in before she continued, "all those things you just said about marrying me and building a house and have kids, were you serious?"
"Mer, of course I was serious, all of that has been my dream since I first laid eyes on you at Joe's."
"Good because I want all of it and more…and I'm ready for it."
"Mer, you need to think about all of this before you say yes. It's a big step, it's not one that you can go towards and then turn around and run away."
"No Derek, I'm done with thinking about it. I know what I want, for the first time in my life, I know what I want. It's you and the house and the chatty kids with perfect hair."
"You're sure…"
"Derek I have never been more sure of anything in my life."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
They stood there holding each other for a few more minutes, each very satisfied of where this conversation had gone.
"What do you say we join the party again, I feel like dancing with my girlfriend."
"Really, I didn't think you danced in public."
GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA
Six Months Later
Meredith walked into the resident's locker room to change out of her scrubs so she and Derek could go meet the contractor for final details. They had decided in the weeks following Christina and Burke's wedding to start building the house and it was nearly complete, only one more month to go. Yes it had been a big step, but she had been ready and he was there to support her all the way.
Opening her locker she smiled as her eyes landed on a picture of her and Derek from Christina's wedding. Somehow, not to their knowledge, the photographer had taken a picture of them out in the rose garden. They were facing each other, his hands around her waist and her arms around his neck. They were lost in each other, so incredibly happy. The picture had been a gift from Christina for her birthday, and it was the best gift she had ever received.
She quickly stripped out of her scrubs and put on her street clothes, not forgetting to put his gift to her on her finger. They had been engaged now for three months and it had been the best three months of her life. To her it seemed just like yesterday that he had asked her. She had gone to Joe's with Christina and Izzy after work to grab a drink. He was supposed to be out of town for a conference.
They were sitting in a corner booth talking about their day as residents. They were so glad that they were no longer interns, but now they had their own to worry about. They were laughing about a story Izzy was telling when Joe walked up…
"What's this?" Meredith asked as Joe sat a champagne class in front of her.
"Charles Heidsieck 1995 Blanc des Millénaires" Joe replied.
Meredith was looking at him with a very confused look on her face. She was assuming that it was from some man who was sitting somewhere staring at her, it happened quite frequently, but usually Derek was there.
"Joe, you know I only except drinks from one guy." Meredith replied jokingly.
Joe shook his head in acknowledgement and then moved to her right allowing her to see him standing at the bar. Now she was even more confused because he had told her that he was going to be in New York for a conference.
He walked up to her, smiling what was possibly the best McDreamy smile she had ever seen from him. She smiled back, but was still giving him a very quizzical look.
"I thought you were in New York till tomorrow?" she asked.
"Well I cut the trip a little short."
Taking the hint from Derek and Joe, Christina and Izzy got up to go refill their drinks, wondering what the deal was.
She smiled at him and then her smile turned to a shocked look as he got down on one knee in front of her and the entire bar.
"Seriously…" she blurted out.
"Meredith, we met in this very spot four years ago and I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, have kids with and grow old with. Mer, you are the love of my life. Will you marry me?"
"Seriously…"
"Seriously"
"Oh my god, Derek…yes!"
"Yes?"
"Yes of course I'll marry you."
Meredith was so enthralled by the diamond that he was placing on her finger. The thing had to be at least 3kt and was surrounded by tiny baguettes. She was so in love with it and so incredibly in love with him.
"I love you so much." She said as she grabbed his face and kissed him passionately.
And that had been the night that her life had changed for the better. She was happy, the dark and twisty Meredith no longer existed;t mi she was now bright and shiny Meredith. She closed her locker, put on her coat and walked out the door to her fiancé. She was living her happily ever after.
AN: I hope you guys liked the story, sorry if it's a little cheesy…please read and review, tell me what you think, should I continue write others or should I just stop here?? The song is Just Might(Make me Believe) by Sugarland. Hope you enjoyed…oh and enjoy tonight's all new episode!!