A/N: First angst work (if you can consider this story as angst)
In case you are wondering, the one line italics are China speaking.
Hyung - older brother in Korean
大哥 -da ge older brother in Chinese
Korea's POV
The Problem with Not Voicing Out
I knew it even before opening my eyes. The soft voice calling me, wake up.
Shielding my eyes from the merciless sun rays, I stood up realising the difference in size and maturity between us. When he was tall and firm, fierce and delicate, wise but not old, I was all of the opposite. A kid, who is, at most at his hip level, problematic and an hyperactive attention seeker.
I never liked this irritable difference. I want to be at the same level as him. To be acknowledged and praised… Especially by him, like what he does to Japan, Hong Kong, Macau and even Taiwan who openly dislikes him.
Why is your smile so sad?
When I laugh and act cheery, he scowls and turns a sour expression and rejects me. Does he not know my intentions of getting closer? I enjoy the warmth he gives me in the rare occasions he even bothered to hold my hand, acting like a doting hyung. At times I get so frustrated, I shouted, out loud, in my own native language not letting the others understand me. Although hanja evolved from Chinese (I have to admit, not even Confucus can originate from this puny yours truly) he just laughs it off. Thinking it as another selfish little prank I came up with.
Hyung, get a translator, please. I had confessed at least a dozen times before.
This sad smile doesn't seem to be going away.
He would walk back to me, ruffle my short brown locks, look at me directly in the eye and reprimand me to stop screaming randomly. We can talk about your problem whilst drinking tea would be what he says.
There was once when I came to the conclusion that hyung suffers from cognitive deficiency – hence not knowing the agony I'm going through. However, everyone else was oblivious too. Did I want them to realize it?
Your head is burning. Aiyah, it must be a fever.
Lost in my thoughts, his hand starts patting my head ever so lightly and I was pulled back to reality. Aah, this was the warmth I longed for. He pulled me close into an embrace. Strange, was it my birthday today? Why was he so nice? After a moment, he hoisted me up, cradling this pathetic existence known as Me and walked slowly back home.
Take a nap, I'll call you up when dinner is ready -aru.
Maybe it really is my birthday. My mind is in a whirl with a huge fog blocking my ability to think straight. I'm a useless simpleton, unable to fathom complicated thoughts. All I knew was to snuggle closer in this solemn protection I can find.
I remember, the promise I made before closing my eyes – to grow up as quickly as possible, big and strong. To be able to protect him, lend him a shoulder lean on in times of trouble abd most importantly, for him to be in my embrace.
Yes, I must grow up as quickly as possible.
哦, Korea, you are smiling again. 大哥is happy you are well.
A review can definitely help me improve in this genre. Please and Thanks. :)