"Hey Ed!"
"…"
"Ed."
"…"
"Ed? Answer me!"
"Jacob, may I ask you who you're trying to talk to? Didn't your imaginary friend quit because you talked his ear off?"
"Dude, not funny. You know I'm talking to you."
"You can't be, my name's not Ed."
"Fine, Edward. Gosh, you're such a pain in the butt."
"You're one to talk. I mean really, you come over here every day and bug the crap out of everybody you can."
"I'm invited here."
"Pshaw, by who? I really thought your imaginary friend quit."
"Dude he didn't quit, I just haven't talked to him in, like, a week. I swear, he's coming back, just you wait and see."
"Um, Jacob, two things wrong with that sentence. 1. I won't actually see him. And 2, why on earth would I want to wait for anything if it involves spending unnecessary time with you?"
"Whoa, you don't see him? I thought you had that freaking awesome eyesight that you could see like everything, even, like people's boxers, which I have to say, that's really creepy."
"No, Jacob, I can't see him, and why on earth would you think I could see boxers?"
"Wait, you can't see my boxers? So I haven't worn my ducky ones in a month for nothing?"
"No Jacob, I can't see boxers, but I really think you shouldn't be wearing those boxers anyway."
"But, dude, they're soooo cool, and sometimes I make them quack! It's so much fun, you should try it."
"Sure Jacob, I'll get right on that."
"Cool, I'll even give you a pair of mine. You'll love 'em!"
"Jacob, I don't want your boxers."
"Dude, it's okay, I have like, five pairs, and I've only peed in these ones like, twice."
"Jacob, I can't count all the ways that's unhygienic."
"You know what we could do? We could swap! I take a pair of yours, you'll get mine!"
"Jacob, will you please go."
"Yeah, you're right. I should go get my boxers! Okay Ed, I'll be right back."
"Jacob!"