Lie Detector
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Summary: The team is asked to participate in a test run for a lie detector, and someone decides to have a little fun...
Timeline: Alternate Universe, Present Day
A/N: I have no clue as to where this came from but I hope everyone enjoys it.
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Adrienne Rich said, "Lying is done with words and also with silence."
"As you all are aware, the polygraph though inadmissible in court, is used within several Federal government agencies and local police departments, used to rule out suspects." the male polygraph expert told the agents, "I'm sure you are aware of the measures that one looks for in conducting interviews."
The older man looked around the room and couldn't keep his eyes on three of the male members on the team.
The older of the three looked bored, the younger of the other two looked amused but the one that seemed to be the team leader had a glare on his face that unnerved the expert.
"Thank you, Mr. McCall, we are aware of the points and counter points of conducting proper techniques and questionings regarding polygraph exams" Hotch informed the older man, "We're just here for a refresher course."
"I'm aware of that Agent Hotchner" McCall told the dark haired man, "And your new Section Chief wants me to reintroduce everything in a proper polygraph interview." looking around at the team, "Who wants to be the first test subject to be examined?"
That stunned the team, none of them had expected that they'd have to sit in and answer questions. There were too many things that no one wanted to let loose regarding their own private lives.
"She'll go first" Garcia said, shoving the brunette forward, "Go on, Gumdrop."
Emily turned around and glared at the blonde analyst, "Some friend you are."
Shrugging, "You'll learn to forgive me in time."
JJ and Morgan grinned openly at the muttering curses that she sent out, while Dave and Hotch looked amused. Only Reid held any sympathy for the brunette agent.
"All right, Agent Prentiss" the man told her, "Step inside, it won't hurt."
"Yeah right" she muttered, sitting in an empty chair next to the machine, while he strapped in the wires, "Who wants to ask the questions?"
"Me, me, me" Garcia said, stepping forward, shoving Morgan out of the way, "Sorry, Chocolate Thunder, she's mine."
"Well at least ask some interesting questions" Morgan called out, "The juicier the better."
"Au contraire, mon ami" Garcia grinned, "You know me too well."
"This is so Alias" Garcia said, grinning at the team, "Is your name Emily Prentiss?"
"Yes" Emily replied.
"True" Garcia said looking at the needle, "Are you an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation?"
"No" Emily replied.
"False" Garcia said, "Are you Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss' daughter?"
"Yes" Emily answered.
"Do you have any known aliases?" Garcia asked looking at the controlled questions.
That caught the teams attention, seeing if she'd acknowledge her alternate persona.
"No" Emily answered.
"True?" Garcia asked, surprised by that.
"If you look at the screen you'll be able to tell the truth by the even pulse, we check blood pressure." McCall informed the agents, "We've asked controlled questions in which we want her to tell a lie. So go ahead, Miss Garcia and ask her a controlled question."
Garcia pondered that, looking over at her cool and calmed friend, "Are you in love?"
"No" Emily answered.
Garcia gasped as the machine indicated, "Lie."
Emily kept her face controlled, while trying to control her beating heart, "Next question, please."
Garcia's grin unnerved the polygraph expert and as he moved over to escort the blonde, she batted his hand away.
"Are you in love with someone from our team..." Garcia looked over at the four men on the team, "Hotch?"
"No" Emily said, calmly, looking over at the blonde, "What kind of questions are these?"
"Interesting ones" Morgan chuckled, only to be shoved by JJ.
"True" Garcia said surprised, while Hotch cleared his throat
"Maybe we should switch things around now." Hotch asked McCall who nodded in agreement, "I'll go next."
"Really?" Morgan asked surprised.
"I've got nothing to hide" Hotch told him, taking Emily's empty seat.
"Is your name Aaron Hotchner?" McCall asked, not letting the perky blonde take control of this round of questioning.
"Yes" Hotch replied.
"True" Dave answered, scanning the machine.
"Are you an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation?" McCall asked.
"Yes" Hotch answered.
"True," Dave said, "Are you an American?"
"Yes" Hotch said sighing, bored by the standardized questions.
"True" Dave said, looking over at McCall who nodded at him to continue, "Have you ever worn women's undergarments?"
"No" Hotch said, swallowing as he heard Morgan snicker at that.
"True" Dave replied, raising an eyebrow, "Are you in love?"
"What?" Hotch asked stunned by his friend's question.
"Answer the question" McCall said watching the leader glare at the two of them.
"Yes" Hotch answered.
"True" Dave replied, looking at the machine, "Are you currently in a relationship?"
Hotch glowered at his longtime friend, knowing why he was doing this.
Dave knew about Beth, and the fallout of that relationship.
"No" he huffed out annoyed that this Bureau mandated routine was interceding with his personal life, "Excuse me, but why are we digging into my personal life?"
"His interrogation, his rules" McCall answered, not meeting his eyes.
Emily chewed her lips, she knew this was bad. She just went through this.
"Who are you in love with?" Dave asked, looking out at the team who were eagerly awaiting the answer, "Do I have to repeat the question."
"That's not a yes or no question" Hotch replied.
"You said you were in love, but you're not in a relationship" Dave started, "Are you in love with someone we know?"
"Why are you asking these questions?" Hotch asked, "You know these aren't standardized questions."
"Answer the question" Dave told him, "Are you in love with someone we know?"
"No" Hotch answered with a brisked tone, as the machine beeped.
Dave looked at it, shaking his head at the team, "Are you in love with someone you work directly with?"
Hotch stared ahead at the wall, while Dave pursed his lips to repeat the question only to hear a soft voice stop him.
"Leave him alone" Emily said, making everyone look at her, "Ask real questions or switch interrogators but stop asking us these mundane questions about personal information that doesn't matter to this exercise."
The sound of the machine beeping, could be heard throughout the room, while Hotch ripped off the wires and stormed out of the room.
Looking out at the opened door, she turned around looking at the team, "I hope your proud of yourselves, there are limits to how much a person can be pushed and I think you all met your quota." looking at McCall, "And where was your professionalism? That's something I'm going to have to take up with the Director."
Storming out of the room, Emily wandered through the third floor looking for Hotch.
Taking a deep breath as she turned the corner towards the stairwell she paused, he looked beyond approachable. Hell she understood the meed for him to vent and if it was directed at her, so be it.
"Are you all right?" she asked, slowly approaching the dark haired man.
Turning around to face her, "I'll live, I think."
"You know I'm really sorry about that..." Emily told him, "They have a tendency to push things too far."
"I know" he said, exhaling, "I guess this could have all been avoided if I told Garcia to stop when it was during your polygraph."
Shrugging her shoulders, "Yeah, well the questions were really bad, but I know their just trying to dig into our personal lives because..."
"They don't have one of their own?" he joked.
She chuckled, "Yeah, that's one way to think about it." tilting her head to the side, "So it's true that you and Beth are...?"
"Over? Yeah, no need to sugar coat it, Emily" he said, closing his eyes, "She broke up because the pressures of this job."
"Ah, I got it" she told him, nodding in understanding, "Sorry to hear about that."
As she bit her lip, he gave her a smile, "Well it's the first time back out on the dating market, I didn't expect to fall head over heels for the first woman I went out with in... God twenty two years."
Her eyes widened, "Twenty two years? Jeez, that's a hell of a dry spell."
Rolling his eyes, "Well excuse me, Prentiss, but I was married to my high school girlfriend before being shoved back into the single world."
Shaking her head, "Whatever, look it's just going to take time. You have to kiss a few toads before you find your one true match. Hell I should know I've been kissing toads left and right since I was fifteen."
A wry chuckle escaped his lips as she shot him a look, "Anyways don't worry about finding the one, Hotch, when you find her you'll know."
A throat clearing behind them caused Emily, "Look, we're really sorry." JJ told the dark haired agents, "Honestly I had no idea that they'd go that far, but I got them to let up on the personal information and if you come back in, you can watch Morgan's turn be in the hot seat."
Emily's face perked up at that, "Good there are a few questions that I'd love to ask Agent Morgan..."
"Uh oh" JJ whispered, turning to head back, "Well you better hurry because Garcia wants dibs on his polygraph and you might have to fight her for control."
"Oh, I'll win, believe me I'll win" Emily said turning back to Hotch, "You ready?"
"Yeah," Hotch said with a sense of clarity fill him as he started to notice something different about her, "I think I am."
Both agents walked back into the room, "All right boys, I'm back." Emily said with a grin, "Back away from the machine Garcia, he's mine."
Morgan groaned as the dark haired agent shot him a mischievous look, "This is going to be bad." he whispered.
"You have no idea." Hotch retorted with smirk.
"We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves." Eric Hoffer
THE END
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