Hello everyone! New Guinee here!
Actually, I've been a lurker for about three years. You know, just reading others' writings, and not writing any of mine. But I've tried polishing my dull writing skill so that it won't seem sucky, at least, in FF dot net's amazing archive. Praise welcome (who doesn't?), and criticism welcome, but please, no insults irrelevant to the story. I have a grandma who makes awesome surprise soup that can kill. (please refer to my story Insomnia for further explanation)
Well then folks, enjoy!
Selfish, she tells herself. Selfish.
She has always been, and forever will.
She knows she can never escape, and that trying to will hurt herself and everyone around her.
She tries to stay put.
But she can't help resisting at the cage she's held captive in.
She pulls, bites, yanks at her chains in a desperate attempt to set herself free, but they won't budge.
All they do is dig into her flesh and draw crimson drops of blood, causing excruciating pain.
She struggles more, but all she gets out of her efforts is the jailer's sadistic smile, a gleeful chortle escaping his lips.
She wants to be free. Goddamnit, she needs it.
But she's only binding herself tighter and tighter, her loved ones also cut by the iron chains. They yell in pain, but she can't stop.
Selfish, yes, that's what she is. Selfish.
He sits next to her and looks at her. All the time.
She isn't pretty, nor is she nice to him, but she's the only one he has in the cold, moldy prison, so he keeps her near. Everyone else is plain stupid.
Actually, he's the one keeping her in chains. He is miserable in the cell, but he does not show it. Misery loves company, or so the saying goes. He wants a comrade to share his pain.
To make sure she never escapes, he binds her iron chains tighter and tighter everyday, bruising her soft hands and cutting into her wrists.
She cries out. But he is happy. Because someone is in more pain than he is in. He is comforted by her pain, soothed by her sorrow.
When she looks up at the prison window wistfully, he realizes what he's doing is wrong. But no one can help her, and the guy in the glass room will never touch the key, so he's safe for now.
Sometimes, he's angry. At the prison. At his job. But mostly, at her pain.
He wants to stop her pain. He wants to create more pain. He hates seeing her cry. He loves nothing more than seeing her cry. He hates her captivity. He loves her captivity. He wants to set her free. He can't set her free.
He wishes he could set her free, and she'd stay with him in the prison.
But that's impossible. She loves him, the guy in the glass room, who won't lift a finger to help her. And he knows that she hates himself. No way will she stay.
So he keeps her in the only way he can: by chains, bindings, and sinister laughter.
He's selfish. He knows that.
He watches her from afar.
He watches her in a glass room, in total comfort. He can see her in best visibility.
He lives in a glass castle, and people from outside look at him, awed by his beauty and strength. They appalud the simplest accomplishment, they are warm and sympathetic about even the hugest mistake.
He feels like a zoo animal in a cage, tourists watching him.
On his table lies a key. He can use it to open the door of his room and be free from the watchers ogling him.
He can also use it to free her from her chains.
A sensible person would first use the key to first unlock his door, then go down to prison and free her from her cell.
But he won't.
It's not that he's sadistic, like the jailer who keeps her. Actually, the one most hurt by her captivity is him. Every time she cries out, every time blood drips from her arms, he feels tears dripping into his chest, the salty liquid burning his already broken heart.
He loves her.
Then why won't he use the key? Is he scared that the tourists might leave him? That the jailer might try to stop him? That he might mess up and end up hurting her more?
No. He's never scared. And he would give his life for her freedom.
Then why not use the key?
Because, he tells himself, he is selfish.
Selfish.
I lurve reviews. And I will love you as well if you do.
Please tell me what you think!
Sincerely,
New Guinee