Anguish

Few speeders flew over the botanical sector of the Citadel. C-sec made sure of it to conserve the station's preserve of natural beauty, as the sign had read. This had actually drawn a chuckle from Aria T'Loak. Who in their right mind believed that a mysterious space station's "natural beauty" could be found in foreign plants? If they truly wished to honor the beauty of the Citadel, they would have an observation window the size of the Temple of Athame.

But this sector of the Citadel possessed something other areas did not: solitude. And solitude was something Aria needed in this moment, now, especially since the attack on the Citadel had left C-sec up in arms with new "safety protocol" for everyone to adhere to. Here she could escape from the damned stuffed-shirts and security officers who hounded her every step. Here she could escape the fearful watch of what remained of her loyal faction. Here, under the alien trees of her home world she could think without second-guessing the actions of every passerby. It felt good, or as good as things could get for the ousted Queen of Omega. And she needed good, as opposed to how she usually dealt with the days.

Aria was different in how she handled loss. Most people distracted themselves to avoid dealing with it. Aria surrounded herself with reminders, instead. That was why she had taken over the only couch in Purgatory. The sorry excuse for a club was less than ideal, but far better than any of human "coffee shops" scattered throughout the station. More important than the night-club setting, Purgatory offered something nowhere else on the Citadel could: pain. It stung every time she took up her throne there and left a bitter taste in her mouth every time she returned to her pre-assigned apartment. It made her think. She spent her waking hours with a permanent glower on her face as she imagined ripping apart the Illusive Man. She reveled in the fresh reminder of her demise. It kept her rage alive.

Something had changed though. Cerberus had come to her.

When they had landed on the Citadel, Aria had been one of the few to stand and fight. Purgatory had suffered little interior damage thanks to her efforts and the patrons treated her with a newly-discovered awe, as it should be. Tearing apart the operatives had been fun. She had even given chase when they retreated farther along the Citadel arm. But the Goddess saw fit to end Aria's amusement by throwing a cockroach into the fray.

Kai Leng.

She saw him jump out of a racing speeder as Shepard chased him down the length of the Citadel. She had dropped the Cerberus operative she held by the throat and had smashed the window of the nearest parked speeder. By the time she got it operating, the assassin was long gone, but she had still searched for him endlessly. He escaped, of course, and the Citadel had returned to its usual pole-in-ass ways. Only this time around her rage was diluted with something else.

"I see the Queen has emerged from her lair."

Aria turned and saw the asari councilor, Tevos, approaching her. She looked back towards the Thessian trees. "Good observation," she said.

She felt Tevos standing next to her; the body heat of another was something she had grown unaccustomed to. "What else can I say?"

Aria scowled at the trees. "Nothing." She stepped down the sloped hill and Tevos followed her. They walked between the tall trunks quietly. Aria paused and looked up through the canopy of leaves at the artificial sky.

"I cancelled all my appointments," Tevos said. She kept her distance from Aria. Probably wise. The councilor stood next to a mighty trunk and picked at the flaking layer of bark.

"That seems awfully wasteful," said Aria. She continued walking through the trees, always staying within the boundaries of Thessia-native plants.

"You told me you were coming here today," said Tevos. "I assumed you wanted my company."

Aria stopped by a violet flower. She reached a hand down to caress it and smirked. "Maybe I just wanted to inform you so C-sec didn't get their garters in a bunch when I disappeared." She let the flower droop back down to its lofty pose and continued with her exploration of the garden. They had flowers from Thessia planted together that did not even grow in the same region. Pitiful.

"Aria." Tevos stepped closer. "I know what today is."

"And why do you care?" She looked away from Tevos, considered putting some more space between them. She could not have Tevos thinking she expected a hug and a shoulder to cry on. That would just be pathetic.

"Because Liselle-" Tevos halted. Aria turned, shocked to see the councilor's eyes watering. "Even if she was not my daughter, I-"

"You what?" asked Aria. "Cared for her?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Tevos asked.

"No," said Aria, thinking back on her daughter's demeanor. "It's not so hard. I still can't figure out how my own child turned out so damn likeable."

"I can," said Tevos. She crossed her arms over her chest. Aria waited for the Asari councilor to gather herself once more. "You may not want to see it, but people like you."

Aria laughed. "Flattery doesn't work on me," she said. She turned her attention to another flower, yellow this time. The petals had an angular shape to them.

"You keep things orderly," said Tevos. "Everyone likes a peacekeeper."

This caused Aria to scowl once more. "Please don't use that word to describe me," she said.

Tevos laughed that time. Aria felt a smile tug at her lips. She still stared at the flower rather than Tevos. She found it difficult to keep eye contact with the councilor. Friends were something Aria had grown past wanting, and Tevos had wavered over and beyond that line in their earlier lives. She felt regretful for ever telling the councilor she would be here today. "It hurt." Tevos's voice brought her back to reality. She glanced over at her to make sure she had stayed out of her space. Aria then looked back to the flower. She refused to reward such a vague prompt with an answer. "After all those years I get a notice through the obituary update. The Office of Asari Network Affairs had to inform me." For the first time in a very long time, the councilor's voice held unconcealed anger. "I would have come," Tevos said. Aria picked up a blue flower. "I would have come to you."

Aria shook her head and walked away from the flowers, farther downhill. "She wasn't yours to bury," she said.

Behind her, Tevos remained by the flowers. "I'm beginning to wonder why you invited me here," she fumed.

"I didn't," Aria said. Her eye twitched. Why did she invite Tevos? Why the hell did she feel like she needed to share this moment? She reached the bottom of the hill. A creek flowed by. She sat down and waited for Tevos to catch up. The other asari sat beside her. She waited for Tevos to say something scathing, something derisive about Aria's lack of feeling, but the comment never came. "I thought this place might help me think of where I buried her," Aria said, gesturing to the Thessian flora. "It's a piss-poor imitation though."

Tevos nodded. She leaned forward and stared into the creek. "There's only so much you can do in a shared biome," she said.

The two sat by each other quietly for several minutes. They might as well have had a conversation for hours. The creek flowed on by, speaking for them. Aria valued that about Tevos. She understood how silence could speak. "She was murdered on this day," said Aria.

Tevos sat up. "Yes, I know."

"Her throat was slit." Aria could still see the pool of blood staining the mattress and her daughter's pale, lifeless body strewn across it. "By the same guy who tried to do you in and the rest of the council during the Cerberus attack."

More silence. "Kai Leng?" Tevos finally asked.

Aria nodded. "I saw him that day," she said. "Dropped everything I was doing and chased after him. I never caught up." Aria remembered the adrenaline spike, how her body had pushed her to keep searching even after reports of his escape reached her."Promise me something, Thea," she said. She stared across the creek to where the salarian foliage started. "If any of your goody-two-shoes spectres or commandoes or defense force bring him in alive," she paused, savoring the moment of rage, "save the cereal-eating, throat-slitting bastard for me."

She had expected a bullshit politician's response, something like, I'll see what I can do. But Tevos surprised her. "I will," she said. They continued to sit by the creek until Tevos spoke again several minutes later, "Cereal-eating?"

Aria shivered in disgust. "His idea of marking territory whenever he bugged a home on Omega. The bastard should have realized he was in my domain."

Tevos shook her head. "Indeed. He must have been quite the fool to invite such an enemy down on him."

Aria smirked. "That was a better attempt at the flattery," she said. She stood and brushed off her pants. Stupid mistake, sitting on the grass in them.

"Where are you off to?" Tevos asked. Aria looked down at her and extended a hand.

"You said you cancelled your appointments, right?" she asked. Tevos took the hand and she helped her up. "I thought I might offer to fill your schedule with something more... therapeutic."

Tevos shook her head, taking a step back from her. "Aria, I refuse to be a meaningless distraction to you."

"Isn't that what the council is for, though?" she asked.

Tevos brushed aside the comment. "I had considered going to the symphony this evening," she said. "It's a human form of music. Much better than the rest of their entertainment."

Aria frowned. What made Tevos think she went places with people? "I don't 'go out' Tevos," she said.

The other asari nodded. Aria expected her to leave, but the councilor brought up her omni tool instead. "Well, I will be there," she said. "And my private box will be open if anyone arrives without a ticket." She typed in a command and then closed it.

Aria stared out across the river. If Tevos was inviting her to a private box, that made the game more interesting. It would scandalize C-sec. She smiled. "Aren't you worried about what that will do to your pretty reputation?"

"Honestly, I fear we could all be dead in a few weeks," Tevos said dryly. "I'm past caring about something as insignificant as a reputation."

The brutal honesty of the statement was refreshing coming from the councilor. Aria had gotten so used to wading through the obscure political statements she made regarding anything personal. She let Tevos turn and begin to walk away before she said, "Maybe I'll be there, then."

She heard Tevos call to her, "You have the nav point on your omni tool."

Aria remained still while Tevos walked back up the hill. She stayed by the creek a while longer, listening to the artificially constructed nature. This shallow garden held no real remnants of Thessia, just a bitter reminder, a hollow interpretation. This construct, however, was probably the last and closest thing she would ever see of Thessia again. That was why she had come here, after all, on the anniversary of her daughter's death.

It tasted of anguish to Aria.