Mario: The True Story, PART 2!
Author's note: If you are one of those little overly-sensitive A-Holes that can't take a joke, skip reading this and go straight to whatever else you do on Saturday nights.
Mario had just totally BANGED the shit out of some whore named "Princess" Peach. She said "Wow, that was great. I'm so glad you saved me!" Mario was like "Yeah, yeah. How about you go make me a sandwich." Peach got up because she had nothing better to do.
Meanwhile, Luigi was in his room licking the bumps he got from fingering an anthill earlier and laughing his ass off. He got bored and he wiped the spit on the curtain and walked up to see what Mario was up to. He opened the door and a look of horror came onto his face. He saw Mario on all fours, COMPLETELY NAKED!
"LUIGI! WHAT THE FUCK!" Mario screamed. Princess Peach came back up in a nightgown with two sandwiches. Luigi completely forgot about what was going on and said "All RIGHT! You made one for me!" Luigi took a sandwich and squeezed her nose twice and said "Honk! Honk!" Mario yelled "FUCK YOU LUIGI! Mario took a bite of his sandwich and noticed there were mushrooms in it. "Mmm..." Mario said. Just then you see the Big Pop Daddy king Toad come in and half of his head is gone and he says to Peach "What the fuck, bitch!" Mario immediately faints.
Mario woke up and had a strange feeling on his Mr. Wiggly. At first he thought it was the princess so he didn't do anything. Then he felt an ant bite on the person's hand and he looked up and saw Luigi laughing like hell and putting tape over Mario's thang!
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU ASS!" he shouted. Luigi said "I'm taping your dick." Mario yelled "WHY!!!!"
"You said you broke it yesterday, don't you remember?" asked Luigi.
"FUCK YOU, LUIGI! AND GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Mario punched him in the face and Luigi fell right on his two inch willie and broke it. Mario said "That's what you get, bitch." Mario put his cloths back on and noticed some weird creatures and there were no pipes at all or even dick houses.
"Where are we?" Luigi said. Mario gave up and said "We're in Botswana." Luigi bitch slapped Mario and said "Don't lie." Mario punched Luigi so hard in the face that his nose literally FLEW OFF and landed on a cloud. Luigi uppercutted Mario and he landed on top of the cloud and saw big pop daddy toad and Peach playing tennis with Luigi's nose. Luigi shit a beanstalk and flew up and took the nose and accidentally got hit in the face. "Mario! Fix my nose!" Luigi whined. Mario took the tape off of his penis and used it to tape Luigi's nose on. Luigi's eyes began watering and he cried "IT SMELLS LIKE DICK NOW!"
"Well maybe if you had a job you could buy some cologne!" Said big pop daddy Toad. Princess Peach said "Where the Fuck are we anyway?" And Mario said "HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW, PEOPLE!!!!!" Big pop daddy Toad said "She's not talking to you, she's talking to that giant rat!" All of a sudden the giant rat pulled a bomb out of his ass and blew up Mario and Princess Peach. Then he shat out another one and pop daddy toad said "You're about to know how your mom feels after one night with me!" Then he took the bomb and shoved right up the mouses asshole. The mouse screamed in pain and exploded. Then big pop daddy toad said "Now what the fuck do we do?" Luigi got close and whispered "Let's make out." Big pop daddy Toad yelled for the first time "Fuck you, Luigi!" and shoved a turnip all the way up his ass. "OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" He screamed in pain. Meanwhile Mario landed flat on his stomach and said "Well, thank God I didn't have a boner!" Peach magically floated down in a cloud of pixie dust and they both got really wasted from it. Mario started dreaming about the real world which seemed trippy to him because they already live in an acid trip. Peach started seeing Luigi's broken boner everywhere. All of a sudden a huge pink bird with an ass for a mouth came and started shooting heaps of dog crap from its mouth at them. Luigi and big pop daddy toad came over and Luigi yelled in a really high pitched voice "Toot! Toot! The turnip FLEW FROM LUIGI'S ASS AND SMASHED THE BIRD AT OVER 9000 MILES PER HOUR!
"Wow." Said Peach. All of a sudden a whole bunch of enemies were all around, and there was this big green piece of shit that Mario remembered flushing down the toilet earlier, on top of a cloud with a boner. Luigi was curious about the thing's boner and he couldn't take his eyes off of it so the gang loaded his ass up with turnips to use as a machine gun. Luigi didn't even feel it because he was so focused on the thing's boner. So, big pop daddy toad squeezed his stomach and the things shot out like cannons at OVER 9000!!!! miles per hour. Mario and Peach started making out for no reason. Then only the big boner thing was left because everything else died of ass turnips. Mario threw Luigi up on the cloud and then jumped up too. Mario shot the last turnip at Wart and it went into his mouth. "Ha ha ha!" he said. "Prepare to eat my big cock meat sandwich!" Just then the thing farted and green gas blew over to Luigi, who instantly got a boner. "Hey, my dick is fixed! Thanks!" said Luigi. Just then another dick popped up on Luigi's forehead. Luigi smiled and started touching it. Then dicks started forming all over his body. He yelled "MARIO DO SOMETHING!!!!!" Mario went to his last resort. He lifted his leg up and kicked Luigi as hard as he could right in the balls. Luigi stopped panicking and yelled "I'M FIRING MY LASER!!!!!!!!!!!!" But then his mouth turned into a penis and he couldn't fire his laser. He all of a sudden exploded and the whole entire world exploded and everyone died.
That's what I wish I could say. I wish I could say that, but I'm really jacked up on energy drink and so I have no choice but to keep typing really fast for no reason whatsoever. Mario woke up from his horrible nightmare and saw that he was still in the castle and he saw Luigi very baked eating the sandwich and big pop daddy toad with a chunk missing from his mushroom head. Then he saw Peach walk in with a new sandwich. He yelled "What the fuck are you trying to do, kill me?" And she said "Don't worry this one has no mushrooms." And Mario said "Good!" and took a big bite. He spit it out and began violently vomiting. He saw brown stuff on it and realized that Luigi had used it as toilet paper. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" He shouted.
Then he woke up again and he was right next to the fat lady's toilet. He realized he was still there the whole time. Then he saw Luigi eating chocolate. "Hey, Mario do you want a bite?" Wait! THAT WASN"T CHOCOLATE!!! IT WAS SHIT!!!! Luigi immediately shoved it into Mario's mouth and Mario screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Then he woke up again. He was in bed and Peach said "Wow, you're awake!" Mario said "What happened?" Peach said "You hit the bed so hard you passed out. I thought you were dead!" Mario said "Oh thank god! I just had the worst dream!" Just then he saw Luigi completely naked except for his hat on all fours right in the bedroom. Mario jumped out of bed and clenched his fist.
"FUCK YOU, LUIGI!" and punched him so hard that he went flying naked and he flew all the way to Uranus. "Crap," Mario said. "I better go get him." Then he thought. "Uh.." he said. "Maybe tomorrow." So the whole entire story was just a fucking dream and the author got yelled at by his parents because they read what he wrote. Luigi ended up stranded on the cold planet Uranus with no cloths and Mario took a well-needed vacation away from his retarded brother, but eventually Peach told him to bring him back. And so began... "Super Mario Galaxy!: The True Story!" I'm just kidding. Luigi did a full revolution around the sun and crashed landed right back where he started, and the way he landed, he snapped his pingas back into place, so I guess everyone was happy. Not for long of course because that dipshit princess is going to get herself captured again. Stay tuned, for more complex storyline, more deep relationships, more lessons about life, and more exiting twists, in: "Mario: The True Story: Part 3"
THE END, NOW GO JACK OFF OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE ALONE!
*Author's note: So, you may have noticed that there's a lot less spelling errors in this . That is because I took advice from my one good critic on my last piece (By the way, in case you didn't read the first one, do it now, or you won't get this one) You may also notice that this is really disgusting. If you are grossed out by this, then I recommend you don't read it (unless you already did. In that case get over it.) Anyway, yeah... that's about it. Until next time, my beloved fans!