"Binch i dont freakin think so" yelled a squeaky voice from behind the car. "hand over the boy, Ardyn". Ardyn quickly turned around and almost dropped keith like a sack of sweet potatoe.
"Lau Tira M'su Martina Cisneros...".
"Thats right ardyn and im not alone" the girl whistled and someone riding a chocobo came running at full speed towards the car. ":3c" exclaimed the misterious stranger.
"Who art thou?" questioned the greasy and stinky and gross man (yikes).
The girl flew off the chocobo and introduced herself swaggily.
"My name is Nipplita (loz this is u) and nipples are my passion (thats how i got my name). I have dark hair with chocobo colored streaks and kawaii mango eyes and a lot of people tell me im way too thirsty for gladio (if u dont know who he is get da hell ot of here). Im a chocohoe (in case u couldnt tell) and im guilty of starting a haiku war once and i DONT REGRET IT. Thats right binch. Oh and I also have a robot daughter so dont piss me off or i will have my daugher roast u on twitter dot com", she and the chocobo put up their middle finger at Ardyn.
Ardyn was shook.
"i dddnint mean to do naythigngn bad i promiss,,, i jsuus wanted to trick thiss boyi i nto doign somehtign evel for me,, i didnd knw it was a bad thign im sorryy,,,,," he said. Then Ardyn took a step back, "i...i...". "U let the emo to extremo boy go this instant Ardyn or u will face the consequences".
Ardyn was clearly distressed and looked like he was about to kermit. Lau didnt wasyte this opportunity and started running sexily towards the two men. She roundhouse kicked the gross man in his ugly, gross face and proceeded to kinkshame him while Nipplita caught Keith before his lucious buttocks could touch the ground. The old geezer gasped.
Just now Lau noticed the way he was dressed. He was wearing an emo cape with silly ass feathers attached to it (what a freakin loser) and under the cape he was wearing a corset with the word "yee-haw" printed on the front. He was also wearing jorts with black fishnets and cowboy boots. But there was one thing that was worse than all of this and that was making Lau and Nipplita shiver in disgust: his fedora.
He was a meninist, no doubt.
"u fuckign fedora tipping son of a fucc get out of here" Lau roared, "AND GO GET A HAIRCUT BCOS UR HAIR LOOKS LIKE DIRTY ALGAE U EMO FUCC" Nipplita added.
"I am outnumbered here i suppose i should leave, dont think uve seen the last of me, see u later m'binches" and then...he vanished luigi.