Letting Go

by Jasmin Kaiba

It was dusk on his last day of freedom. He knew it and it didn't bother him in the slightest. It would have two years ago, but now he had nothing else to strive for. His one life goal was accomplished and had left him feeling as empty as one possibly could even while they remained alive. His brother was dead. Itachi was finally gone and the pain he suffered from it was almost unbearable, to this day.

Back in Konoha, after his former comrades had finished fixing up the destroyed village he'd been put up for trial. Nobody had been there to support him, not that he'd expected anyone to come for his sake. Naruto, the only person who still stood up for him, had been banned by the Hokage and forced to wait it out not knowing what was happening. Sakura and Kakashi had not even bothered to show up to the qustioning after they'd been invited. Kakashi he could understand, but he'd secretly hoped that Sakura would be at the back of the room, nervously wringing her hands together with Naruto. She hadn't and he couldn't even blame her for it. It was his own fault after all.

The ANBU of guard duty were all around him, he could feel them watching him as he took his last stroll around Konoha for who knew how long. His feet took him to the house he knew Sakura still resided in and he stood there for a long moment, just staring at the brick and wood structure with the red roof and window panes, before he found himself walking to the nearest window hoping to catch a glimpse of the only woman he'd imagined to become the mother of his children. But Sakura was as far away from him as those children were. She would never be the one to give new life to the Uchiha Clan.

In the spacious, light filled kitched that opened to his view through the window he saw her, standing against the counter with a mug of something steaming in her hands. She was positioned slightly to the right and was obviously talking to someone. Kakashi, he made out the tall, lanky figure of his former sensei, as the silver-haired jounin moved towards the pink-haired kunoichi. Even though he only saw the Copy Ninja's back, Sasuke could tell something was different. After a short moment he realized what it was. There was no knot of the hitai-ate where it usually rested against the back of Kakashi's silver head. And he couldn't see the top of the mask peeking from beneath the back collar of his vest. Kakashi's face was bare in front of Sakura.

Briefly he wondered if Naruto hand seen it as well and felt a surge of something he knew very well pass through him. Jealousy. He'd been Kakashi's favored student, the one the Copy Ninja spent the most time and effort on, and now he was probably the only one of his students who hadn't gotten the chance to see Kakashi without his mask.

Suddenly that didn't matter in the slightest as he saw the tall man bend forward and Sakura slowly closing her softly glowing eyes. Before his very own face, his former sensei kissed the girl who'd once vowed to love only him. For the first time since he'd left Konoha, Sasuke realized that he'd lost. His friends, his comrades, people who've loved and cared for him, his only remaining family. He's lost them forever.

Sakura and Kakashi slowly drew apart and he saw a beaming smile on the kunoichi's cupid bow's lips as the older man moved away. She'd found her happiness far away from him, with the man he'd last expected her to love. And what was worse, she'd found it while he was the one still stuck on the past and that one tearfull expression of undying love. That love had died and in its place was a new one. Sasuke had no place in Sakura's heart or her life anymore. She was lost to him, along with everything else he'd held dear in his miserable existance.

As he stepped away from the window and slowly started down the street again, Sasuke wished for the first time ever that he had a mask like Kakashi's. Not to hide his face in shame as other would think, but to cover the look of unbearable pain as he finally realized that he'd lost Sakura, one more important part of his life, for good. She'd moved on, away from the suffering and pain he'd caused her, while Sasuke remained wishing he could turn back time and redo things.

Nothing will ever be like it once was, that much was clear. Maybe it was for the best he remained locked for good. There was no way wisdom would ever find its way into his thick skull.

Just a short drabble shot, written when I was feeling blue, and because I personally felt that I needed to oficially say goodbye to SasuSaku. I stopped shipping them a long time ago, but it seems that I couldn't let go. Now I really have done that. So goodby Sasuke, I'm not gonna think about you anymore. :)