there
Kid is screaming as his flesh is cruelly ripped from him. It hurts. It hurts so much.
What did he do wrong?
The moment Kid was born, it had already been decided by fate that he would be the one to follow in his brother's footsteps.
Death realized this the day he had to rip Kid's skin off. It caused him so much pain and regret, but in the end, he realized, that it was for the greater or good. Kid was a lost cause, and there was nothing he could have ever done to save him.
It was sad, really-
Kid was only a lost cause because Kid was perfect.
But, to be perfect was to not be human. To not be human, by Reaper standards, meant you had to go.
So Kid did.
Though, not in the way that he'd preferred.
Kid floats.
He's been floating for a while now. Perhaps it was only a few moments, but it feels longer than that. Maybe ten years? Twenty years? Thirty? Forty?
.
.
.
What are years anyways?
He begins to think-
Kid is always thinking. It's the only thing he can do in his…situation, and sadly, that's the only thing his father had left Kid with the liberty of doing. There is nothing else but his thoughts.
Something pulls at him negatively.
Father.
How funny. He used to have such fond memories of his father, but now, all he can correlate when thinking of him was the way he felt when his skin was literally being torn from his body and made into a makeshift bag-!
And Kid wonders, why?
Why would father give him the same fate his brother had received? Kid wasn't doing anything wrong, was he?
No, he wasn't.
It was father who was doing everything wrong, not him. The way father always kept secrets, the way he refused to tell Kid anything, the way he tried to come up with excuses not to teach his son more fighting techniques. No, Kid saw through his facade. Father could not fool him! Not like he fooled all those other selfish and disgusting humans-
Father was wrong!
Kid was only trying to find himself; he was only trying to think outside the box. He was born knowing the world was awful, and he wanted to fix it, but no, apparently having a well thought out conviction against Lord Death's beliefs meant you deserved an awful punishment like getting your skin ripped off of your-!
.
.
.
Kid scowled.
Father was a dictator. He was a tyrant. He doesn't deserve to rule.
And you do?
Kid mentally frowns.
Everything changes the moment Kid realizes that he's in his soul. His perception of his surroundings differs tremendously from how it used to be. It still looks the same, but Kid knows that somehow it's different. He looks around himself, and blinks.
My body is gone.
He's amazed to discover that there's no direction -no up, no down- and there's no sense of physics, time, or movement. There's just infinities and infinities of darkness. It loops around, and around, and around, and around him, with no end. It's eternal. The nothingness is eternal, and he's in a void, just floating with his body relaxing in his soul, though, his body isn't really anything anymore, is it? It's just a bag, and yet, here he is in himself floating about with the illusion of a body.
He moves his realistic-yet-not-so-realistic hand in front of him and stares.
What a peculiar illusion.
.
.
.
His soul quivers.
None of it is symmetrical; none of it is balanced.
And it irks him.
Left and right, right and left. There should be a clear balance, but no- it's not there! Why is there not any balance? Why why why?
Kid grips his hair as he stares up at the painting before him. It's supposed to be the most extraordinary painting Lord Death owns, but for some reason it just seems wrong. He's three now! He should be able to figure it out! But he can't! And it's just so so so incredibly wrong!
He cries.
He wants to shout for help, but he can't find the words, and there's a huge lump in his throat that he just can't eliminate. It's hard to stop crying, and it's even harder to look away from the painting.
He can only just think, why?
whywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHYWHYWHYWHY-
"Kid!" the door opens.
Lord Death is there, and he's at his three year old son's side in an instant. That's when Kid realizes that he's been screaming the whole time. "Kid, are you alright?"
He shakes his head.
"What's wrong?" his father presses. "Are you okay?"
"N-no.." Kid manages to say between cries. His voice is so muffled by the thickness of distress in his vocal chords, that you could barely comprehend a word he was trying to say. Kid clings to his father's black cloak and cries. "Everything is just so wrong..."
"Wrong how?"
Kid just sobs louder.
(At birth, Lord Death couldn't see Kid as anything else other than perfect. He was always so polite, so cheerful. It was hard to consider a child so filled with joy to be flawed.
And that was the thing- Kid wasn't flawed.
But everything else was.)
Under his mask, Lord Death frowns.
He doesn't know why, but something is off, and Kid, well…Kid feels something.
No, not an emotion, but he feels something. He's aware it's there, and he's aware it's always been there. He's always with it, but why he hasn't actually noticed it before is odd to him. Why is it now that he's reacting to it?
There's a presence wrapping around him.
It feels familiar, so he doesn't stop himself from reaching out to it through his soul. This peculiar soul feels awfully familiar, and the closer he gets to it, the more he realizes how more complete he feels with it. He's beginning to forget how he felt before he didn't have this presence within. A wave of reality abruptly overcomes him. He gasps.
Brother.
Kid stares at the other body in front of him that appeared before him, which is also floating in the void he's in.
Soul resonance, he thinks.
The other body of flesh stares back at him, and the two just silently study each other's souls. Kid begins to memorize the outline and feeling of the soul. He uncovers the layers of what makes up the soul, and attempts to connect to it in every possible way, not questioning how this certain even came to him. Slowly, Kid notices that there's a certain part of the soul he can't connect to, and he blinks. He knows the other is in the same situation he's in as well, and Kid furrows his eyebrows.
Brother.
Kid opens his mouth to speak, to say hi, to maybe ask a question, to say something, only to find that he can't. Afterall, there is no real body, so there is no real vocal chords. His physical self was stretched into a bag around himself. There was no voice to manipulate to make sounds. There was just silence.
Brother smiles and reaches out his hand, in a way that makes Kid wonder if he was real or not. Something is off about all of this, but he takes his chances anyways, and goes forward to grab hold of the offered hand. But Kid doesn't even have to move, because suddenly he's just there, in front of his other self, touching his hand. The two connect silently, and become nustled in a great bond, where his brother's wavelength overcomes his own, forgetting the recent barrier they just had.
The other's wavelength is strong. It's powerful, and it gives off a vibe of authority; it's a grand soul, and Kid is glad to know it remains stable. However, within the wave of greatness his brother gives off, Kid can also sense something else hidden...something like fear.
Something like madness.
Kid has already fallen into madness. He was aware of it far before he was caged in his own skin, and already has allowed it to skitter around in his mind. He has madness surrounding him, and he has embraced it- there was no doubt- but brother's madness wavelength was bigger, and it burns. It's so heavy, and so thick that he could practically see it. It encloses him in nothingness, and it pulls him closer and closer into insanity. Kid just lets it.
"Again, father!" a five year old Kid giggles. The shinigami holding him chuckles, and waves his large blocky finger in front of him.
"Very well, Kiddo." he cooes. Then, he's pretending to drop his five year old child. "Oh no, my hands are slipping, ah- whoops!"
He let's him go. Kid squeals, and Lord Death catches him again. "Aieee!"
The two give off vibes of content to each other, and for the first time in what Kid estimates is months, he feels happy. Father is with him and it's amazing-!
Suddenly, the mirror in Kid's room vibrates. "Shinigami-sama!"
"Hmm?" Lord Death cocks his head at the mirror, to see it displaying an image of a man in the Death Room. Immediately, he stands up straight. and adjusts Kid on his hip to look professional. "Oh! Why greetings! What is it? What's wrong?"
"I-I'm sorry to interrupt you, especially on your brea- but..ahh...there's an emergency!- It's happening!" The man cries.
Lord Death cocks his head. "It?"
"T-the malfunctioning of the-"
"Oh." Lord Death cuts him off, and nods in understanding to spare him from any possible embarrassment. "I'll be there in a few moments. Take control of the situation for now."
"Yessir!" the image of the man in the mirror disappears, and Lord Death looks over at his child, putting him down.
"I apologize Kid, I must leave. I'll be back soon enough though, so don't worry!"
"But-"
"I'll see you Kiddo!"
Lord Death escapes through the mirror, and Kid is left standing in his room alone. His fists tremble.
It's been five months since he last had physical contact with father and he only receives 2 minutes of actually bonding with him after so long?
The world is so cruel.
It's silent, and it's dark, and there's nothing.
But, in that silent and dark nothingness, a soul moves.
Kid turns over to his brother, knowing somehow he's the cause of this weird feeling, and finds that the other is opening his mouth, stretching it wide. It's like he's in an odd, odd dream.
An odd dream he can't ever wake up from.
Brother's mouth looks like a black hole, and his jaw seems to be misplaced. He only sees a second of this seemingly painful moment, before something drops from his mouth, and his lips snap back together. Kid watches as the object that had originated form Brother's floats in between the two. It slowly glows, and transforms into a bright silhouette of a body, before becoming a short pole of gold metal.
He slightly recalls what weapons are, and wonders if this is one too. His assumptions are presumed correct once he realizes how big of a bond brother has with this object. He can sense something in the object, and realizes it's a soul too. It's strong, but it's been cut a lot. It's damaged, and it's stuck.
Vajra.
Kid reaches to Vajra and touches it's soul, attempting to resonate with it. It's very easy, and it's as if this soul is just a part of Brother- like a subcategory of something bigger.
Suddenly, Kid finds that he can speak.
"What..?" he expects his voice to croak, to have some cracks in it, but no- it's smooth, delicate, and it's perfect. He loves his voice, and he misses how it sounds
His eyes snap to his brother's and he knows now, that he planned for this to happen.
"Brother..." he says. It's so odd; even though he can hear himself, it's not exactly a sound. It doesn't echo. He can hear his voice, straight in himself, and he knows it just travels through the bond he has with his brother. He hasn't heard a real sound in a while, but he remembers enough of it to know that what he's emitting isn't it. "How-"
"You should thank Vajra for how this turned out." his brother's voice is hollow, sarcastic. Kid slowly becomes addicted to it. "I admit, I didn't expect it to work, but it did, and now, we can finally communicate. I find your voice enjoyable."
Kid lays back in the void, and calmly replies. "Likewise, brother." His notices how his sibling smiles at the title, 'brother'. "Vajra is your weapon..?"
"Yes."
He nods, and the two just sit in silence. Kid purses his lips, and sighs.
"Asura." he breathes. His brother's voice sounds so smooth on his lips, and Kid loves it. Asura is such a wonderful name. It sounds so beautiful-!
His brother cocks his head to the right and lets out a low pitched, "Hmm?"
"Oh nothing, I just haven't used your name yet." Kid explained. "I like how it sounds. I like a lot of things about you, actually. I find myself drawn to you brother...but I can't explain why..."
Why is he being so truthful with such a technical stranger? This is the first time he's ever felt the need to spill everything he's been thinking about to someone.
"It's because we are one." Brother replies, and makes gestures with his hands, his tone calm and smooth, as if he were simply discussing the weather. "We come from the same soul, and are instinctively drawn to each other."
"Fragments." Kid mumbles, and looks down. He narrows his eyes into nothingness. "Father never told me this…"
"The master was a liar and a coward." Asura reaches towards him with a maddening grin that Kid feels the need to return. "But I am not."
"But why father?" Kid asked, trailing behind him in the Death room. "Why am I not allowed not allowed to take this mission? I thought you wanted me to have more field experience before I get weapon partners?"
"It's not safe…" His father stares at the mirror, and Kid notices that he's hesitating… (about what though?) "I think it'd be a better idea if you gain weapon partners first, bond with them, and then go on the mission."
"Nonsense, you know how long it'll take for me to find a weapon partner, especially with my skill." Kid says with a wave of his hand. "This mission can't be completed by anyone but me."
"It's too hard." His father instantly snaps. "You'll need a weapon."
"Then i'll use your current death scythe."
Father is shaking his head. Kid wonders what his expression looks like from under his mask. Will he be wearing the expression of a worried father, or a foolish lair? "No, that'll be foolish." The shinigami says, and sighs. "You know he's injured right now. The last mission he went on caused him too much harm, kiddo."
Kid paused a bit before replying. "I thought he was considered physically healthy two weeks ago..?"
Lord Death took a while to answer- "He still needs time to heal."
He stomped his foot. Okay, now he knew father was lying. "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?! Why? Why can't I go on this mission, father?"
"Kiddo-"
"No! No, I want to know why? What purpose do you have to keep me from missions that will benefit me in the future as heir to becoming a shinigami? I am your son, and I am more than capable! So why-?"
"Because!" His father snaps. "I see no reason to explain myself to you when you are acting so arrogant! You are my child, and I am your father! I respect to be treated as so! You don't question me, you obey me. Am I understood?"
Kid is burning with fury. How dare he just give him these god-awful excuses, and then blow him off like he was nothing?! How dare he?
"You-"
"Am. I. Understood?" Father repeats, this time his tone is way more cold and demanding, and Kid knows he has no choice.
"Yes." He seethes. He feels humiliated beyond extent…
Kid turns around, his cheeks burning with anger and embarrassment, prepared to leave. "Good day father."
He hasn't even taken five steps yet before his father's voice suddenly stops him. "Kid."
"What?" He doesn't turn around, because if he does, his angry expression will show, and it'll give off everything he doesn't want his father to know.
"You know I love you, right?"
Kid's scowl softens- but just a bit.
"I know." he lies.
"-Imagination. That is the most fatal weakness humanity has."
The two float in front of each other, with Vajra acting as the bridge that allow the two to communicate with each other.
"Imagination..." Kid echoes. Asura smiles and continues to indulge Kid in his strongly believed philosophy,
"You see, brother, imagination is the worst thing anybody can have. It's where fear originates from, where anxiety comes from, where every bad scenario ever thought of comes from. If we simply stopped imagining, everything would be so calm, and so peaceful…"
We would stop living in this useless facade of peace and order the master has created."
Kid mulls over this new information his brother has given him, and considers his own opinions. He hums, and looks up with a confused expression painting his pale face. "But you know people won't just simply follow so blindly behind you and just accept madness as I have, Brother Asura. There is no point in trying to spread this philosophy if no one believes in it. "
Brother's reply is simple: "Only through chaos, will you gain order."
Suddenly, it clicks, and Kid understands.
"I see…"
He's changing.
When Kid looks at himself in the mirror, he realizes that he's changing. His eyes are no longer a soft hazel color, but a vibrant golden hue, with snake-like pupils. It seems monstrous, but Kid is mesmerized. Who knew that changing your peace of mind will change your body too?
Father won't like this change though. He thinks. He already thinks that i'm a disgrace. But he doesn't understand. No one does.
Kid sighs, and goes to make his eighth round around the house to make sure every painting, rug, candle, chair, and piece of decoration was perfect and in place, the way they should be. He made me like this.
"I see now." Kid nods. "You were created to get rid of fear, I was created to regain it. We were pawns from the beginning… My only purpose was further the shinigami line into something better, and boost us into an exquisite progress of evolution..."
"Precisely." Brother grins. Kid only looks away, and appears downcast. He doesn't know why, but he can't find the strength to completely abhor father like he should. Is there something wrong with him..? Maybe he isn't as deep into madness as he thoug-
He quickly squashes that thought.
Kid thinks. Asura thinks. Both of them think, and Kid is content. It's not so lonely anymore…
In nothingness, Kid can feel something stir.
There's something with them.
He doesn't know what it is, but it tips him off. His brother's presence leaves him suddenly- he's still there, but not as close, and Kid is just filled with something...
.
.
.
fear.
It isn't his fear though...it's Asura's, his brother's. It's not a foreign feeling, so Kid understands Asura must be going through another one of his breakdowns. But when Kid looks over and finds Asura is panicking from afar, ever so slowly fading away, he realizes this is anything but a breakdown.
"Brothe-" his voice is cut off by a wave of apprehension in his soul.(his soul senses something is off, even if he doesn't.) It feels as if his world is shaking, and he screams as dread fills him. Everything is wrong! So wrong wrong wrong wrong!
Other souls are present. That conclusion comes to him with a gift of uncertainty, and Kid is left startled, mind reeling with shock.
Other souls… He can feel fear from them too.
His brother's soul is going crazy, radiating hot waves of madness which are so thick, you could probably see it. Everything is so confusing. He doesn't understand what's happening. Brother is gone, but yet he's still alive. There are other souls with him, but why? Why would they want to-
It doesn't take long, but soon, his brother's soul stable. Kid is piecing everything together, and he realizes that his brother is finally awakening. Fingers of fear grip his stomach. What will happen to Asura? Will he be okay? Kid is unconcerned that he's worrying more about his brother than he is about himself.
Something drips onto him.
Kid looks down, finding a onyx drop on his bare arm. He touches it, studying it, and then peers up from where it originated from. "The hell…"
Anxiety suddenly fills his very soul. Black liquid drops from the ceiling on to him. Kid tries to wipe his face, but it's no use- this liquid is too thick to get rid of!
Kid takes a step backwards, and suddenly, everything is breaking, crumbling- and the black liquid is pouring right on him. He's drowning.
He screams.
And is overcome by madness.
"I heard you had an…episode today during class today, Kid."
"Mhm." Kid says, but it wasn't really an answer, more like a confirmation that yes, he indeed have an episode, but he's not so sure.
"Care to tell me why?"
Father's voice is calm, so Kid replies back calmly as well. "The professor wrote down something on the board today in class, but it was completely crooked...and awful. Surely the rest of the class was bothered by the crookedness of the writing, so of course, someone had to fix it! So, I stood up and went to help the professor. When I did so, he told me to sit."
"And what happened next?"
"I refused, and decided to ignore his silly commands. I went on to erase his awful work, but then he grabbed me rudely by the arm." he licked his dried lips. "So I twisted my body to get out of his grasp in self defense, and accidently hit his eye. I left a bruise on his right eye, so I gave him another on his left in apology. It's not a big deal. I'm sure he's happier man after what happened today."
"Kid...That's not okay."
"I admit, I was wrong in disobeying him, and I apologize for that, but my disobedience was the necessary sacrifice to make everyone happy." He says. Kid shakes his head and smiles at his father. "At least I left him and the board balanced and symmetrical."
"Kid-" Lord Death starts.
"Balance is what the world needs, isn't that correct father?"
"Yes, Kid, but…" Lord Death sighs as Kid stares up at him expectantly. He nods."Yes, the world needs balance, however-."
Kid feels empty as he stalks out the room without another word.
There's nothing else that is needed to be said.
It's hard getting his skin back on. Everything itches, and he's so agitated and mad that he can't even focus enough to properly put it back on. He wails in frustration, and tries to remember how it felt to have a body. He wiggles in his skin, and breathes heavily, screaming. He can hear the others(the pathetic souls he had encountered before) whimper in fear, and Kid knows that he must be quite the terrifying show. He inwardly grins. Oh, but the show hasn't even started yet.
...
He puts his skin back on, and he opens his eyes, reaching his hands up to touch his head, which is bald. A scream rips from his throat at the absurdity of him being hairless, and he feels his brother laugh crazily along with him.
He sinks his fingers into Asura's flesh and screeches, blinking his snake-golden eyes at the god-damned laughing moon.
"And this, Kid?" Lady Arachne motions to the room where Asura currently lays. "This is our comfort room. This is what will lead to Lord Death's utter defeat."
Kid feels numb.
The next the time he looks in the mirror, Kid is surprised to see that there are five stitch-like lines running from his top lip to the bottom of his jaw. It appears like his mouth is sewn shut, and Kid oddly enjoys his transformation. He was pleased with himself, and this feeling of content is so foreign to him.
Symmetry is key, he constantly reminds himself. And it's true. Balance is what humanity needs. There needs to be good and bad. But, even Kid knows that will never happen. His logic is sound, but impossible to carry out.
His thumb lingers on his fifth stitch mark, as he stares at himself.
He is at a loss of what to do.
"Brother, help me!" Kid is screeching as he stares down at the wound in his stomach. It's too big, and it's too grand for his black blood to fix. There's was only so much left in that needle back then… there's not enough to fully help him recover.
Kid is going to die.
And so is brother.
"Hey!" the blue haired child that stabbed him is yelling at him now, waving his sword around, and running towards him at an alarming speed. "Look at me! Your stupid kishin brother can't save you! I'm going to kill you, here and now! You hear me? I'm going to kill you, so keep. Your. Eyes. On. Me!"
Kid melts into the shadows to avoid his attack. He's breathing heavily, and reappears on a pile of rocks, kneeling on the ground, tasting copper and bile. This pain...it's so blunt and so simple.
(He knows this is what will eventually lead to his downfall.)
.
.
.
.
.
.
The world is cruel.
Kid watches two children fight over a toy lion. They are scrambling over each other, and it's easy to tell who's the victim. It's sad, in Kid's eyes that nobody attempts to intervene.
"Stop it!" one child cries. The other laughs, and raises the toy lion higher in the air with his free arm, mocking him- taunting.
"Come and get it, you baby!"
The smaller of the two frowns, and jumps again to try and grab the toy, bursting with newfound determination. He jumps and claws at the air, making sounds of effort, but the bigger one easily stops him, and pushes him onto the ground roughly.
"Ow!"
"Touta! Be careful with your brother!"
"Yeah, yeah. He's just being a baby!"
So, very cruel.