Sanji was dancing around the kitchen, excited to make a sweet dessert for his precious Nami-san and Robin-chan and, with only that on his mind, he had time for nothing else. His mind was set on making lemon meringue pie and a melon smoothie to go with. It was a hot summer's day and Nami and Robin had both said they wanted something to eat and a drink to cool them down.

Carefully he prepared the dish and drinks and kicked open the galley door, spinning around.

"NAMI-SWAAAAAAN! ROBIN-CHWAAAAAAAAN! YOUR SNACKS ARE READY!" he shouted as he placed them down in front of Nami and Robin, their eyes lighting up at the sight of the gorgeous looking food and drinks.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun!" "Thank you." Both Nami and Robin responded, smiles on their faces.

Hearts appeared in the cook's eyes as he turned into a noodle man for the first time of the day. Zoro, who was asleep on the deck, took note of the noise and opened his eyes and was getting ready to tell the cook to shut up when he stopped to get out a cigarette. Unfortunately for him it was poor timing and Luffy, Usopp and Chopper happened to run past him, knocking his box of cigarettes into the water.

"FUCK! THAT WAS MY LAST PACK, YOU RUBBER SHIT!" Sanji screamed giving Luffy the hairdryer treatment. When Sanji was done everyone's heads were turned his way and Luffy's hair had just been slicked back, his straw hat hanging from his neck due to Sanji's shouting. Luffy looked really worried and Sanji was red in the face from anger, furious at losing his last pack of cigarettes because his stupid captain couldn't control himself and had to run past him like a maniac.

"I'm sorry, Sanji. We were just having fun!" Luffy whined, obviously sorry but not wanting to be told off, and pouted at Sanji hoping for a bit of sympathy and maybe Sanji calming down.

"No, you don't understand. That was my last packet and it won't end well, he-!" Sanji clasped a hand over his mouth, worried about his slip up in case someone heard him and took in the thought that something was wrong. He looked around to see that no one seemed to have picked up on it but one person had.

Roronoa Zoro.

"No, you don't understand. That was my last packet and it won't end well, he-!" Zoro raised an eyebrow. He? Who was he? Did they need to worry about whoever this person was if Sanji said it wouldn't end well? He could tell the shitty cook wasn't lying but something about how worried he'd seemed about his little mistake didn't sit well with Zoro. He decided he'd confront Sanji about it.

"Huh?" Luffy said, turning his head to the side with a confused look on his face at Sanji's shouting. He was obviously expecting everything to go as it normally would.

"S-sorry Sanji! We were just messing about. C'mon Luffy, let's let Sanji start lunch and you can have food then OK?" Luffy nodded at Usopp who looked at Sanji with an apologetic look as he dragged Luffy away, Chopper following them and not saying a word in case he angered Sanji even more. He loved Sanji like a brother but he was scary when he got like this.

Taking a drag of air with a huge sigh Sanji walked back into the galley, closing the door with a loud thud. All Zoro could think of was what Sanji had said earlier and, deciding the follow up on the idea of asking him about it, he stood up and made his way over to the galley and pushed open the door. He knew Sanji noticed his presence, even before he'd walked into the galley.

"Oi, ero cook. What was that all about?" Zoro noticed Sanji visibly tensed up and he could see that his eyes had obviously widened at the question. It made Zoro even more curious and he really wanted to find out what the stupid cook was talking about.

"W-what the hell are you talking about, shitty marimo? Now get out of my kitchen while I make dinner." Sanji was obviously trying to avoid everything that came his way but Zoro was having none of that.

"I'll ask again. What the fuck were you talking about when you said 'he', you bastard?" Once again Sanji tensed but was obviously trying to relax as Zoro could hear his breaths becoming longer and slower as he tried to make sure Zoro didn't notice anything.

"I told you, marimo. There's nothing wrong with me and there's no 'he' you mentioned, now get out my kitchen." At this Zoro sighed. He wasn't going to get anything out of the cook right now but he would certainly try and make him slip up. Maybe mentioning his cigarettes would work and he'd slip up and mention this person he was talking about. Maybe even getting him drunk enough to spill his secrets would work? He'd have to try it out.

It was nighttime and Brook was on watch that evening. He knew that Sanji was still awake as the galley light was still on and the smell of coffee was flowing from that side of the ship.

Ah! But he didn't have a nose! How could he smell it? Yohohohoho!

Anyway, after about two hours after everyone had gone to bed besides him and Sanji he heard a loud thump from down there (ah, but he didn't have ears - yohohoho) and felt a bit scared.

"Sanji-san? Are you OK down there?" Brook whisper-shouted down to the galley where Sanji was after opening the trapdoor below him but he did not get the response he wanted. He just heard some curses and more loud banging. Though he was scared Brook decided it would be best if he went and checked it out for Sanji's safety. They were nakama after all.

After climbing down the ladder to the crow's nest he slowly tiptoed to the galley, his sword at the ready to be drawn in case of an attack.

"Sanji-san, are you OK in there?" Being cautious, he opened the door to find Sanji hunched over, holding his head and his body visibly shaking and sweating.

"Sanji-san...?" At this a rather raspy version of Sanji's voice could be heard. It was as if it had been distorted slightly too.

"Oh, were you looking for him? He's not here right now. Try again later…"

"Sanji-san, this isn't funny…" Brook muttered, scared for his life (ah, but he's already dead - yohohoho). Backing away slightly, the not-so-much-Sanji Sanji responded to him.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt 'ya!" He turned around and Brook was greeted with a Sanji whose eyes were glowing white, a smile plastered onto his face and black shadows cascading down his face so that you couldn't really see his curly eyebrow at all.

"Ya took his cigs away and 'ya stuck with me!" This not-so-much-Sanji Sanji had a weird accent too. Where the hell had that come from?

Not wanting to stay and ponder anything any longer Brook scrambled out of the door and called for everyone else to get themselves out of bed to see what the hell was wrong with Sanji.

Zoro heard a loud shout from outside the room coming from what appeared to be Brook. He could hear the distress in his voice and shot up immediately. Where they being attacked by Marines this late in the evening? It was like, midnight, dammit!

Rushing out of the door to his room after grabbing his katanas, he noticed he was the first one on the deck of the Sunny Go.

"What's wrong, Brook? Are we being attacked?" Zoro shouted, ready to fight.

"N-no, there's something wrong with Sanji-san!" Brook shouted. Zoro was completely done with that shitty cook today and he wasn't about to take a load of bullshit from him. He decided to storm in there was whack him over the head with the blunt side of Shusui to knock him out of it.

"Alright ero cook, I've had enough of your-!" Suddenly Zoro felt arms around him and a laugh that sort of seemed like Sanji but was kind of distorted and raspy.

"Oooh, he likes you, doesn't he? I share his emotions, 'ya see! He likes this one. Fufufu!" The person now gripping onto Zoro had said, a smile evident in his voice. Zoro looked up to see that Sanji was gripping onto him.

"Get the fuck off'a me, shitty ero cook!" Zoro shouted as he swung his arm out to hit the annoying bastard attached to him. As he tried to though he swung himself over Zoro's head to stand the opposite side of where he was previously.

"Sorry, but that 'shitty ero cook' 'o yours isn't here right now! 'Ya stuck with me 'til 'ya can find an island with cigarettes to buy! An' I'm pretty sure the next island will be uninhabited so 'ya stuck with me for a while. Fufufu!" Zoro's eyes widened at this person that looked like Sanji but also didn't look like Sanji and didn't speak like him either.

"Oi! What's going on in here!?" Came a voice from the door, obviously Nami at the higher tone. The Sanji that wasn't actually Sanji turned his head to the door, his smirk obviously growing wider.

"Oh! You must be 'is precious ladies! Sorry, he doesn't actually love ladies like that! I should know. We share emotions! Fufufu!" Everyone's eyes widened, even those who had just arrived. Sanji didn't actually like women like that? Did that mean he was gay? He liked men? Zoro was confused. He had thought that Sanji was literally only attracted to women but now he found out he wasn't attracted to them at all?

"Oh, a little somethin' fer you, Zoro-san!" He leaned in towards Zoro's ear and whispered, breathing on Zoro's ear ever so slightly.

"He's an extreme masochist, just like me…"